Dear Mia,
I know you don't really want to talk to me after that night in the Seven Bells pub when I told you about what happened between me and Steph but I felt I had to tell you why I've been shutting you out and why I did what I did that night with Steph and that is why I have written you this letter. What I am going to tell you about is something that is so hard for me to talk about to anyone, ever, that is why I couldn't tell you even though I tried both in the pub and in your car the day before.
It's been nearly three years since the incident happened but to me it still feels like it was only yesterday. I was working on a case in which a very dangerous and violent criminal was stealing from prostitutes that he was seeing. His name was Martin Delaney, even just writing his name feels me with such a petrifying fear to point that my fingers are trembling as I write this. I got one of the prostitutes to act as bait in a trap to catch Delaney this succeeded and we managed arrest him. Unfortunately there was a mix-up in custody and Delaney escaped and beat up the prostitute who had assisted us. Jack was not pleased and so I decided to make amends by going after Delaney myself without back-up which was a stupid, foolish thing to do. Eventually I tracked Delaney to an abandoned warehouse near Larkmead Station. Unfortunately Delaney managed to knock me unconscious with a spade he had found in the warehouse.
When I came to I found I was tied face down to a table with Delaney stating over me, taunting me. I'll never forget what happened next no matter how long I live. Delaney pulled down my trousers and then removed his own and then he raped me. I've never felt so humiliated as I did then; the pain, the blood and the fact that as a trained police officer I wasn't man enough to stop another man over-powering me and taking my body without my consent; running his hands over my chest and trickling them through my hair. That's why I want us to take things slow, why I flinch ever so slightly when you try to caress me.
I know the journalist reporting on the spoiled was only doing his job but he dragged every back up for me when he asked those questions. My worse day is court was the day I had to give evidence for my rape. I'm sorry I walked out of the interview that day but those questions although intended to be innocent just dragged everything back up. That is why I snapped at you to leave it.
I understand if after reading this and discovering the truth you're ashamed and disgusted by me and never want to have anything to do with me again after all who wants to be with someone who's body has been used.
Yours,
Mickey