Disclaimer: The Secret Life of the American Teenager and the characters do not belong to me. I own nothing.

A/N: Adrian is not pregnant in this story, but she did sleep with Ben. There will be some Ben/Grace, but mostly Ben/Amy and Ricky/Adrian. I do not ship Ricky/Amy so they will not be included in this or any of my stories.

Amy

I knew something was going on with Ben. Every time I tried to ask him if everything was all right he acted clearly evasive, simply replied that it was nothing, and change the subject. It's not that I was being jealous or trying to figure out every aspect of his life, but I was curious. Curious to the point that it drove me crazy and kept me up at night wondering what it was that had him so all out of sorts. Because one thing I knew for sure was that this was not my Ben.

He was still romantic and a little cheesy, one of the things I've always loved about him, but something was missing. It made me worry that he was still thinking of going back to Adrian, or maybe Maria was coming back to America. I didn't quite understand all too well what went on with him and Grace, but I did know that they were seeing each other before or thinking about it, and I was afraid he was thinking of getting back with Grace. I loved Ben, and I'm sure he loved me. I just hoped that this time nothing would get in the way of us again.

It'd only been a week that we'd been together, and I'd like to know what's going on with him before I leave tomorrow morning to go to New York where I was offered to attend a music program that could help me get into the college I'd always dreamed of going to—Julliard. After a lot of consideration I agreed to let Ricky have John over at his apartment for the period of time that I would be gone. He already had him on the weekends and there was no reason for me to not let him. He was his father and now because of mediation had legal custody.

I was so excited about going to New York that it was automatically the first thing I talked about to anyone that didn't know. If they did know already, I would find some way to bring it up. I could notice people getting bored with it, but still I couldn't help talking about it. The whole thing had me so filled with exhilaration that I was practically dancing.

Adrian

I don't know how I managed to drive myself to his apartment. He already had made it clear that he wasn't going to forgive me, and I'd made it clear that I was never going to apologize. But the truth simply was that I would apologize, and I needed to apologize. Not that it would do any good, but it's more than I did before. Actually, I didn't do anything before except try to convince him that he really did love me and, knowing Ricky, he wouldn't admit he loved me again after what I did.

Sleeping with Ben was a mistake, a mistake that would never happen again as long as I lived. I just hated knowing that Ricky and Amy had probably been together, and then when she gave me the condom at the mother-daughter dance I was so certain they were sleeping together. Besides, they already did once.

After I found out that it was only a kiss, I painfully wanted to take back what happened between Ben and me. The thought of them kissing was despicable, but after thinking they had done more I really didn't care about that anymore.

And I'm not sure how I made myself walk into the butcher store and upstairs to his apartment where I knocked on the door, and then I crossed my arms anxiously and there was silence. Dead silence. Literally. I truly felt like at any minute I was going to die, and when he opened the door with a blank, hurt expression on his face I couldn't say anything at first, not with his poker face in front of me.

"Adrian." His cold voice spread across the room like ice.

"Hi, Ricky." He looked genuinely hurt, and I never realized before that I actually had the ability to damage him so badly. But if he could possibly be hurt by me cheating on him, it meant that he must have cared about me somehow, didn't it?

"What are you doing here?" He spoke the words slowly, the look in his eyes icy but as if he almost could cry. I didn't want him to do that, not here, not now, unless that meant there were promises of us being together again. And if he were willing to cry in front of me—or with me—that must mean that he saw some potential still remaining for us. At least I hoped so.

I had planned on staying quiet, seeing if maybe he would somehow forgive me without me having to apologize. But subconsciously I knew that he wouldn't, and I found myself throwing words at him without even thinking where they'd come from. "Look, Ricky, I—I didn't mean to hurt you. I mean, yes my intentions were to hurt you at first, but not like I did. I just, I was so sure that you were with Amy and I don't know! That's what I do. I do things without thinking—" My voice seemed to grow smaller and smaller. "And...and I'm sorry, okay?"

He said nothing at first, and that had my heart pounding. He looked almost confused, but it was impossible for me to tell for sure as he held his guard like that, still retaining an implausibly blank expression.

"Adrian, this...relationship—whatever it is, it isn't good for either of us. I'm trying to be better, but being with you..."

"Ricky, I love you," I whispered. "I don't want to be with Ben, or anyone, but you. If you can ever forgive me."

He rubbed his forehead and sighed. "I don't know, Adrian. I know I've cheated on you too many times, we've always done that to each other, but you being with Ben...Ben, he's my friend, and that's different."

"I know. It was a mistake. A stupid mistake..."

"And we can't keep being in a relationship where we make mistake after mistake over and over again, Adrian. We just can't. I need to be a good father to John, that's all I really care about. Me being in a serious relationship—with you, it just doesn't seem to work. Maybe because neither of us are really that serious about it. Maybe we've just been messing around all of this time and now it's impossible for us to ever be in a serious, committed relationship. Neither of us ever wanted a commitment, and then when we did, it just didn't work."

"So let's make it work," I pressed on quietly with more hope than ever, but almost more doubt.

We both stood there for a minute, him just staring off in the distance with a thoughtful look on his face, neither of us saying anything. The silence was getting to be too much, and I knew right now that I'd lost Ricky forever. It was my fault, though, and I didn't blame anything on him anymore. What good would that do? I got ready to turn around and walk away without saying another word when I heard Ricky sigh as if he was about to say something else. I faced him again, wondering if he was going to tell me off or confirm again that we should just leave it be. I guess it was something about the look in his eyes, something about that familiar smirk on his face, though damaged as it may be, that had my hopes high again.

"Would you like to come in?"