Just something I was thinking about and wrote it.

It my first story so I hope you like it.

What did Damon felt after 5x11?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries

I was angry, not with her but with myself.

I was angry because she realized that I was a monster, that I cold not be saved and that be with me it was a waste of time.

I was angry because I was the one that ended this relationship, because I was a coward that runs when things get complicated.

I was angry because she did not want to come back with me, because one of the only times that I was honest with a person about what I feel, about what I need she did not care about it and did not get back with me.

I was angry because she used pretty words but what she was trying to say was that she did not want to be with me again. Maybe that day that she spends without me she realized that she was happy without me, and that I wasn't worth her forgiveness.

I was angry because I couldn't blame her, because I was bad for her. She was the best person I've ever known and I couldn't expect her to be with someone like me.

I was angry because it was my fault, because ever though she tried to change me, I was a monster. They were all right. I was a monster that kills people for revenge, for fun and doesn't care about anything, about anyone. But I cared about her.

I was angry because I cared about her, because I care about her and I know that I don't deserve her.

I was angry because I know that she was probably now with my brother again, with the good man in the story, with the vampire that eat animals, that doesn't kill people on purpose, the man that respect her choices even though it wasn't the ones than he wanted.

I was angry because he could give her what I can't.

I was angry because it was him and not me.

I was angry because I was a monster, because they were right.

I was angry because even for her, for the love of my life, for my entire life I couldn't change. I was happy with her, she was happy with me, we were having the summer of our lives, we had a home, we were a we and I ruined everything for some stupid revenge.

I was angry because I lost her, I had her, she was mine and I managed to screw everything again like I always do.

I was angry because I hurt her, because I always did bad things to her. Because I know I am bad and I still tried to be with her. I didn't care that she deserves something better.

I was angry because I was selfish, and I didn't give her what she deserves, because I am so wrong for her that I couldn't stay away from her knowing that I was ruining her.

I was angry because I knew that my brother was better for her and she probably is happy with him but I couldn't be happy for her, for them.

I was angry because he also deserves better, a better brother, a brother that doesn't go after his girl, a brother that would be there for him, happy for him.

I was angry because it was my entire fault.

I was angry because I was a monster.

I was angry because I was selfish.

I was angry because I was alone.

I was angry because she wasn't here. Because she didn't fight for me.

I was angry because I was all darkness.

I am all darkness.

I am bad.

And, I miss her. I love her.

And I am angry because she doesn't love me anymore.

-Damon Salvatore

The vampire diaries 5x11