In Front Of The Lights
Chapter One
Scarred
I pressed the small, silver, metal blade onto my wrist, ignoring the distracting sound that was the shower. I had just turned it on so it would seem to Tawni that I was taking a shower. Red liquid seeped from the new cut. I felt the pain of it for a while, it felt good. I then held a towel to it, waiting for the blood to stop. It seemed like I'd been in the bathroom forever. When I was sure the cut had stopped bleeding, I stood up off the tiles, washed out the towel to get rid of the blood stains, and I wet my hands and ran them through my hair, to make my excuse of 'taking a shower' look legit. I put my hand into the shower and turned the water off, and put on my best fake smile before walking out of the bathroom.
"Wow, you take long showers." Tawni snapped from her seat in front of her dressing table. Good, my excuse worked. "So, are you ready?" She asked in her wind-chime like voice. "Ready for what?" I replied. "The movie premiere! Don't tell me you've forgotten!" Crap. I had forgotten. "I haven't forgotten. I just -" She didn't care, she just cut me off. "Forgot. Now, hurry up and get ready. We can't wait all night for you. There's a dress laid out on the couch. Go get changed." I saw the lovely black dress on the couch and took it into my dressing room and got changed into it, and went into hair and makeup. I took my handbag and going out to the limo that was waiting for us.
The limo ride was boring. Tawni was just going on and on about how many photos would get taken of her, and spending every other second staring at her compact mirror. I rested my head on the inner car window, thinking about before, me sitting on the bathroom floor, taking a blade to my wrist. There were visible cuts on my wrist, but luckily I had bracelets in my bag which I could put on when I got to the premiere. Everyone probably thought there was no reason for me to cut. Well, they didn't know, but if they did, they would still think there were no reasons. But there were plenty. I missed Wisconsin, but I knew I couldn't just up and leave 'So Random' because I liked it too much, torn between home and Hollywood. The fact that Tawni hated my guts since I'd got here, and I had no idea why, I didn't do anything to her, maybe I was competition to her, maybe she secretly liked me, but I just couldn't stand the hatred from her. In junior high, people bullied the crap out of me. It hurt me, and though I'd gotten over it, everything they had said, and done, was imprinted on the back of my mind. Then, last of all, Chad. I had no idea if I liked him or hated him, or if he liked me or hated me. It was complicated.
Okay, only four reasons, that wasn't plenty. But those four reasons had hurt me so bad I needed to find some way to deal with the overwhelming pain that followed with the hurt. But like I would even tell anyone those reasons. Cutting took me to a place where everything was alright, where I didn't have a problem and the sun always shone through any darkness. Tawni's voice broke out of my beautiful illusions. "Hello? We're here! Wake up!" She slapped my shoulder with her handbag. I fluttered my eyes while my mouth hung open. "Okay, ouch!" I stepped out of the limo and onto the red carpet, where fans waited. As soon as we all got out of the limo, they screamed, and cheered for us. "Woah." I'd been to plenty of movie premieres before, but it just shocked me to see THAT many fans screaming for us. We made our way down the red carpet until we got to where the photographers would continuely flash their cameras, sending off blinding light.
"Sonny, over here!" One of the photographers yelled. I extended my hand to the edge of my dress and my arm faced the cameras, and I had a big fake smile on my face. Wow, I was good at faking smiles. I continued to smile for them, so did Nico, Grady, Tawni, and Zora. "Sonny! Smile please, this way!" I turned to the photographer who said that and smiled big. I looked across the carpet, look who showed up. Chad and the cast of 'Mackenzie Falls'. Sigh, this was going to be a long night. When it was all over and it was time for us to leave, I ended up falling asleep in the limo. My eyes needed rest after being exposed to all of those flashing lights. I was kept awake for a while by the constant talk from Tawni. Nico shook me awake when we got back to the 'So Random' set.
My mum's car was waiting for me, so I boarded that and got driven home. I went straight to my room, not even bothering to get changed into my pyjamas, and fell asleep on my bed. I was way too tired to care what I wore to bed. I dreamt that I was in a heaven, with clouds, and rainbows, and sunshine, and that Chad was there with me, and just when he was about to kiss me, I woke up. Well, of course, when Chad appeared it went from 'dream' to 'nightmare'. I stepped out of bed in my dress that I'd worn, and flipped open my laptop. I logged on and waited for it to start up. I went to check my emails when, on my homepage, under the news headlines, was a picture of me, with the headline "Sonny Munroe cutting herself?" and a zoomed in picture of my wrist from last night's premiere. No, no, no. Please, God, no. I dashed over to the bag I had taken last night, and opened it. The bracelets were still in there. Crap, I'd forgotten to put them on. Then overnight, the pictures taken had leaked onto the Internet, and gossipers had spotted the cuts immediately. I turned my laptop off and got changed and headed to the 'So Random' set, fighting tears the whole way. My life was ruined, over!
Everyone was already at rehearsal. I slumped onto the floor in mine and Tawni's dressing room. I let a small tear fall from my eyes. "Is it true?" Chad appeared at the door, holding a issue of 'Tween Weekly'. He walked towards me. "Sonny The Self Harmer?" He repeated the title off the front of the magazine. Wow, it had even surfaced in magazines. "What do you think, Chad?" I mumbled. "I think someone's been cutting themselves." Chad sat next to me. "What do you reckon those marks would be, then? Bracelet indentations?" I hissed. "I can't go out there, not to rehearsal, not on the show tonight. They've probably already seen it. I don't think I can face it." I sobbed. "Look, Sonny," Chad began, putting his arm around me. "You'll have to face it sometime, you can't hide forever. Be strong." He then left the room.
I stared at the numerous red lines on my wrist, letting more tears fall. Should I be strong? Was Chad right? I wasn't usually a strong person, but this time I probably had to be.
My first 'Sonny With A Chance' fic! My friend Chelsea (pen name = SparkleInTheSun) inspired me to do one. Well, not really, but I just wanted to do one because she has done a few. This is kinda based upon Demi Lovato's life. But in no way, shape, or form, am I saying Demi is a cutter. It's just a fanfiction. And also, do you think this should be a Chad/Sonny or Nico/Sonny fic? I am a fan of Nico/Sonny, because it's kinda different, and also since episode one when Nico kissed Sonny's hand. Most of you will probably say Chad/Sonny, but just tell me what you think in a review!
~ Emily