I've always known cold. Always known ice. Not the warmth of a real smile nor the kind warmth of another person. But then I'm not a person according to them. I've felt the hot agony their experiments and tortures bring, but that isn't warmth. Warmth is something that only comes from kindness and since forever I've only felt the rays of sun from one person. My Papa. But I haven't seen him for a very long time. There is only white wall, glass, needles, beds, men and pain here. Sometimes it's too cold to even cry. They've taken everything from me and now they've taken my tears. I can't even release the agony anymore; I just sit in silence until the take me away again. I am a freak, a monster. Not worthy to live in the Füher's world. But I am of use to these men here. They say it is my only place to be the experiment. Their little experiment. I have so many scars and so many wounds, I always feel cold, as if I were walking dead. Eine. That's what they call me. The black number burned into my wrist marking me as if I were property.
I remember the one day, the one day when something was different. The day he came down. Another man in white was bringing me down for my tests and that's when I saw him. I didn't have to look up, I didn't have to happen to glance at that window. But I did. He was different, set apart from the cold white I'd come to know and fear. Dressed in black and talking to the head scientist. He had an air of authority about him, like he held all the power in the world but didn't really care about it. He didn't have to look up, he didn't have to happen to glance in my direction. But he did. The moment his eyes happened to cross paths with mine, I suddenly had a body of lead. I stopped, I'd never stopped before and the man pulling my arm stumbled. He looked at me though I didn't notice. He didn't force me to move. I stared and for the first time in a very long time I felt warmth. He never stopped looking at me as he leaned over to say something to the head scientist. The man in white replied, speaking my name, or at least the name they gave me. He nodded and said something else to the man in white that made him frown. I was pulled forward and then I felt cold seeping back into me. I dared to watch the man over my shoulder and then he did something that no one had ever done. He smiled at me, and then it was like I was finally seeing the sun. The warmth in my icy cheeks forced the tiniest, almost nonexistent smile to move my lips.
I didn't have to look up. I didn't have to see him. But I did. He didn't have to notice me. He didn't have to smile. But he did.