Date: July 2009
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, JK Rowling does. I earn no money from this.
Pairing(s): At the moment – Harry/Ginny, (past) Ron/Hermione
Summary: Hermione Granger is trying to keep it together - her business, her life, and her sanity - as the whole world seems against her. By the end, she'll either end up ruling the Wizarding World or running from it.
Note: This story will reflect life – in that I mean that there will be heterosexual and homosexual relationships between characters. Additionally, this will probably end up a rare!pair story. I'm not sure yet. Nothing explicit will be in this story. I don't know how to write that.
HERMIONE GRANGER IS OUT OF CONTROL, SAYS HOGWARTS HEADMASTER
February 21st, 2005
By: Oona O'Hare
It has only been five weeks since recent divorcée Hermione Granger published her last controversial essay – "Why Strain Your Eyes?: Wizarding Light Bulbs for a Brighter Future" – but she is back at it. (See A7 for reactions to Granger's last essay) Her newest paper was released earlier today and is already heating up the British public. Her latest piece is entitled 'Educational Plans: A New Model for British Wizarding Education.' It is her most radical argument yet. This time the former Gryffindor has taken on Hogwarts. Granger, known for her muggle heritage and audacious thinking, has taken Britain and the entire Wizarding world to task for their exclusive boarding schools and lack of options for students. Granger advocates day schools and individualized curricula for each student saying, "Not every student is suited to the boarding school model. The Wizarding world needs to break with tradition in order to best educate their population.' Former Hogwarts Headmistress Minerva McGonagall says that Granger's new essay crosses the line: 'I have appreciated Ms. Granger's unique views in the past, but to imply that a Hogwarts education is substandard is to attack the very heart of the Wizarding world." Current Headmaster, Filius Flitwick, has also weighed in: "Granger is out of control. She was an excellent charms student, but this is ridiculous. She is ridiculous."
Indeed! None of Ms. Granger's essays to date have received a warm reception from Britain's top Wizarding minds and this one is likely to be given the same, if not worse, treatment. Famous arithmancer, school governor, and former Hogwarts professor Verone Vector released a statement today in which he decried his former student. "She is a crass pseudo-academic. Her writings are intended to provoke rather than encourage any real any worthwhile discourse. Peronsally, I would see her name stricken from the national roll of Master Arthimancers." (For more on Granger's career see A9) In his statement, Vector asked for a "call to arms" by Britain's top intellectuals. He says that only together can they counter and quash Granger's "pernicious influence."
Not only intellectuals are waving the anti-Granger banner, however. Deep with the bowels of the Ministry itself, many are restless with anxiety over Granger's work. Many are calling for action. Marietta Edgecombe, top Ministry employee and newly appointed Head of the Improper Use of Magic Office, is leading the charge. "In this newest "essay" I think Granger finally reveals herself. She is anti-wizard and pro-muggle," Edgecombe said to Daily Prophet reporters earlier today. "She seeks to destroy our traditions. She delights in her attempt to crumble the foundations of our beliefs. Her newest tripe shows this in spades." Before leaving the atrium for her office, Madam Edgecombe reminded reporters that Granger has been investigated multiple times for breaking the Statue of Secrecy and that a new investigation into the matter is ongoing. (For Granger's criminal record see A10) She has yet to be convicted for any charges related to revealing magic to the muggle populace.
Granger, it should be noted, is not without her allies. Harry Potter, Westgate Winged Horses' star seeker and real life hero, has stated on record that he supports his childhood friend: "Her heart is always in the right place." And Ginny Potter née Weasley continues to publicly support Granger. (For the Potters' rumored marriage problems see A5) The Quibbler also advocates Granger's position as do a number of radical publications. Mudblood, an illegal underground bulletin with a decidedly anti-wizard slant, has declared her Witch of the Year and endorsed her as their candidate for Minister of Magic in the upcoming election.
Despite the near-constant media blitz surrounding her, Granger has remained mum. The reclusive self-styled intellectual has refused to speak to any media outlet since her 1999 marriage to Ron Weasley after the fall of You-Know-Who. Her ex-husband and Chudley Cannons keeper, Weasley, has also stayed silent on the subject of Granger, refusing to talk about their October divorce. Rumors are beginning to circulate that the couple's divorce was prompted by politics (as well as Granger's alleged inability to conceive). Lavender Brown's tell-all book about the Weasleys due out later this month is sure to keep the media at Granger's door for months to come and will, perhaps, break the silence.
For now, we are left only with Granger's writings and old interviews with the fabulous Rita Skeeter. (See "Hermione Granger: Friend or Foe?" on A8) The Wizengamot plans to meet later this month to discuss Granger's body of work so we can hope to hear more then.
[To read Ms. Granger's essays in full see the Evening Prophet]
[For more information on Granger see our special section – A7 to A10]
Hermione Granger: Friend or Foe?
By: Rita Skeeter
Hermione Granger has been called many things – genius, know-it-all, idiot, heartbreaker, fool, and ruthless conniver. Today another epithet is added to an already substantial list – Foe of the Wizarding World. By now the divorced Miss Granger has exercised her influence over some of the greatest wizards of our world. Viktor Krum, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley have all been subject to her machinations, their broken hearts littering her wake. However, she has taken her desire for destruction outside the romantic realm and into the political one.
Her new crop of essays, one published every six weeks, is trying to ruin our world. With the puzzling publishing pattern, Granger is attempting to keep the Wizarding World off balance. Still reeling from her idea for light bulbs – which are just glorified flames encased in glass – she attacks again with an attempt to change Hogwarts itself.
Hogwarts has been controversial in the past, but never as controversial as Granger herself is currently. Every student goes through Hogwarts, learning from its intelligent professors and unique House system, and the Wizarding world has never been stronger. Hogwarts is stronghold of the Wizarding world. Hermione Granger is not any of these things.
Hermione Granger has always had an enormous ego. As a child, she saw herself as some sort of seductress – playing with the hearts of multiple Triwizard champions. As an adult, Hermione Granger's ego has only grown. After callously spurning the love of Cannons Keeper, Ron Weasley, Granger has turned her mind to the political realm. It is rumored in the halls of the Ministry that Granger stalks from office to office, attempting to charm her way into the minds – and the beds! – of many of the Ministry's top officials.
Granger caused uproar when she stepped out with former Hufflepuff Eloise Midgen and a few weeks later when she was seen on a date with former Slytherin Vincent Crabbe. This devil-may-care attitude towards romance can be seen in her attempted seduction of Ministry employees. Cormac McLaggen of the Department of Games and Sports exclusively told this reporter, "I went on a couple of dates with her at Hogwarts, but I didn't know she'd remember that as well as she did. She came into my office a couple of weeks ago in this ridiculous get-up. Looked quite the tart, frankly. And then she tried to kiss me! Tried to tell me promote some muggle sports! I threw her out. I was shocked." Cordula Fudge, former Minister Cornelius Fudge's niece and current employee in the office of Magical Equipment Control, has reported much the same. "I'm quite older than her. I was quite shocked. I'm married! She has sent me multiple bouquets of flowers. She's odd and frightening!"
Dear readers, I must tell you that these new reports of Hermione Granger are quite alarming. Trust me when I say that she is a dingbat. She purports herself as a harmless intellectual, but she is a malevolent presence in the Wizarding world. Readers, show Hermione Granger that we did not just fall off the back of a broom. We won't fall for her tricks!
Educational Plans: A New Model for British Wizarding Education
By: Hermione Granger
Edited by Rita Skeeter
The editors of the Daily Prophet have seen fit to edit this essay, cutting out words and phrases that may be upsetting to readers. All changes are within brackets. It was also shortened and condensed for space purposes.
The Wizarding World has experienced many changes over the last seven years, since I graduated from Hogwarts. Hogwarts has stood the test of time, however, adapting and adjusting to these changes as best it could. During the war, Hogwarts taught a progressive curriculum and when [You-Know-Who] took over the school Hogwarts was subject to politics, including a Muggle Studies course that taught the supposed "uselessness" of Muggles. Hogwarts has had its triumphs and its flops. It is an institution like any other and we cannot expect perfection.
In the wake of [You-Know-Who's] defeat, we can hope for a new future in all things, including education. Hogwarts is a fine school, turning out a larger number of great wizards and witches, but it is not enough. In the muggle world, there are a number of educational institutions from which a student can choose. Some students choose boarding schools, like Hogwarts, while others opt to go to day schools. These schools are ones in which the students return home each day to live with their families.
Some [silly] students fear the first day of school and do not wish to leave home. Introducing other, different schools into Britain could easily solve this problem. Students would never have to face the tears and homesickness if they did not want to.
Additionally, to best teach students, subjects should have differentiation of levels. I have seen numerous [hapless] students struggle through advanced subjects for which they were not prepared. There should be differentiation earlier within the educational system – remedial and advanced courses from second year onwards.