Somewhere in the land of… wherever the hell this god-awful movie takes place, a boy was flying on his dragon. The boy's name was Hiccup… because I guess his parents hated him or something like that, whatever. And the dragon's name was Toothless… even though it did indeed have teeth, so the writers of this movie epically fail.
"God… damn… hiccups…" Hiccup said, as he was having a hiccup attack. But this was no ordinary hiccup attack… it had been going on ever since he was born. Too ironic? Suck it up. "I wonder if… a fall from this height… would be enough to kill me…"
Suddenly, Toothless slammed straight into something in midair. Hiccup, his dragon, and whoever had stuck them went flying to the ground and they crashed into a forest.
"Guess not. Also...OW!"
Just then, the man in armor that had been the cause of the crash stood up and said "I am Iron Man and—"
"Holy shitballs…" The kid interrupted. "My hiccups are gone! The fall must have knocked them right out of me! I am now renaming myself as… Bob."
"Yeah… that's great. I am Iron Man, and Pokemon has better looking dragons than that thing." He rose his repulsor rays at the dragon and prepared to fire when Hic—Bob interrupted again.
"What's a Pokemon?"
"It's a pocket monster, and you're annoying. DIE, BITCH!" He changed his aim and blasted Bob instead. Bob landed on the ground as a bucket of fried chicken. Tony then flew off into the sky.
Meanwhile, back on the ground, Toothless stared at Bob's fried body, hungrily.
"…Wow." Iron Man said as he flew through the sky, in search of his next victims.
"What is it, sir?" Jarvis, his artificial intelligence asked.
"I totally just realized that 'pocket monster' sounds dirty."
"…Good god, you're horrible."
"Thanks!"