The worst part is before it gets any better, we're headed for a cliff
and in the free fall I will realize I'm better off when I hit the bottom.
I sat next to Jacob on his shabby couch. We were watching the Red Skins kick some Cowboy ass. It was the fourth quarter, two and a half minutes to go, Red Skins had the ball and they were ten yards from the goal line. It was tied, 27 to 27.
My phone vibrated, I checked the caller ID. Alice. I answered.
"Hello?"
"Red Skins will win," she sighed, "so Edward is coming to get you."
"Way to ruin it, Alice!" I shouted, snapping the phone shut. Jacob cheered, jumping up and hooting. I missed the winning score!!
"Did you see that, Bells?? That was intense! The Cowboys got it and ran it back, then we got it back and threw a touchdown pass and scored!!" he hollered, acting it out.
"I missed it. Alice just had to call." I grumbled.
"Well, it was amazing. Game's over, I guess. So is your leech here, then?"
"The boundary line." I sighed.
"Alright. Get in the car." he opened the door and held it for me. I ducked through.
"I wish I could stay longer. We'll have to do that again next Sunday." I smiled.
"Yeah, of course. I'm sorry that mosquito had to call you."
"Her name is Alice."
"She's small, annoying, and sucks blood."
"She practically buzzes with energy." I allowed, smirking.
"Yeah, so she's a mosquito."
"Okay, Jake. See you soon." I smiled as he put the car in park. Edward wasn't there yet. I leaned over and kissed Jake, aiming for his cheek, but he turned his head at the last moment. Our lips met and I was shocked, but I couldn't make myself pull away.
It was as if I belonged to him and Edward was just borrowing me. Like Jake was at the end of every road I could ever take. He was everything.
He pulled away, eyes wide and wondering. I was sure I matched his expression.
"I think…" he started, but paused to swallow. "I think I just imprinted on you." he whispered. It did no good. I heard him and the mind reading vampire heard him, for he was now twenty feet away.
"What happens now?" I asked after an immeasurable amount of time.
"Go with that bloodsucker. Explain everything, and break up with him. I'll see you at Charlie's tomorrow." Jacob said, leaning in to kiss me once more. The Volvo's engine snarled loudly. I got out of the car, completely in a daze.
Edward met me in front of his car. "Bella? Bella, what happened. Bella, answer me!"
My blank gaze shifted to him and I blinked. "I have no idea."
"He imprinted on you." he whispered. He shook his head, as if trying to will it not to be true. To convince himself it wasn't real.
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. It's his." Edward opened black eyes and glared at the taillights of Jacob's Rabbit.
I felt as if I didn't know Edward. As if we weren't anything but friends. It felt weird to get in his car and be alone with him. I didn't want to.
"Edward, I feel weird." I said, stopping outside of the passenger door.
"What's wrong?" he asked, frowning.
"I don't feel right."
Understanding washed across his pale face. It clouded with grief, and he looked down for a moment. When he faced me again, his face was a mask. Unemotional, and cold. I got in the car and sat still, alert, on edge. Edward drove me home, to Charlie's, and I got out right away.
"Goodbye, Edward." I said, but it sounded more final than I meant it. He nodded, not saying anything, and peeled out. A pair of black marks were laid on the road in front of my house. Marks of hate and anger. Of hurt and desperation.
I went inside the house and collapsed on the couch. Charlie came from his room and smiled at me. "Good Red Skins game, huh?"
"Yeah…hey, Dad?"
"What's wrong, Bells?"
"I think I'm going to break up with Edward." I said.
Behind the confusion in his eyes, there was glee and happiness dancing wildly.
"What for? Did he hurt you?"
"No, no, he's fine. I just don't love him anymore. I mean, Jake kissed me today, and all the sudden, it was just him. Only him."
"Strange, but I think you're making a good choice. Jacob is a good guy, Bella, and he really cares for you. He loves you."
"Yeah. I'm so confused, though. I think Edward knows already, so I think he already said goodbye in a way. It's going to take some getting used to." I sighed.
"You're right, Bells. But the heart wants what the heart wants."
"Thanks, Dad." I smiled, getting up. I called Jacob.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Jake. Wanna come over?" I asked, smiling and twirling my hair around my finger. It was oddly childish and immature, but I got all nervous talking to him all of the sudden.
"Yeah, I'll be there in…ten minutes sound good?" I could hear the smile in his voice.
"Yeah that's perfect!" I smiled, biting my bottom lip.
"Okay. See you soon, Bells." the line clicked dead. I hung it up and threw my back against the wall. I squealed quietly and slid down the wall.
EPOV
He took her from me. Ripped her away, along with my heart. I couldn't take it. When she said goodbye, I knew if I opened my mouth to say something back, I'd start sobbing, begging her to get back in and let me take her away. But the look in her eyes after leaving Jacob.
She looked uneasy, maybe a little anxious, and uncomfortable in the car. Even being close to me. Like she didn't love me anymore. She didn't want me, she wanted him. She had kissed him and that triggered his imprint.
Bella was with Jacob now. And I was on my own once again. Tanya was always trying to get me, but I didn't want her. I wanted Bella. I wanted to be able to turn it off. Just stop the imprint, claim her as mine again. I'd never love again, and I'd be alone forever. After tasting the sweet poison of love, loneliness was sure to be desolate and lethal.
I was very well aware that there was a possibility I was not going to live through this pain. Pure misery.
I pulled into the driveway, Alice and Jasper were sitting on the porch swing, hands intertwined. That could have been Bella and I. Could have been, will not be anymore.
She threw me a pitiful look and murmured something to Jasper that I didn't care enough to hear. Jasper nodded and glanced at me as I sulked through the door. Esme's bright smile froze and turned into a frown as she watched me drag myself by her. In my room, I slammed the door. The door jam bent and the door imbedded into the door stop.
"Edward? Please, talk to me. What happened, honey?" Esme's voice was wild with concern outside my door. I sighed.
"Not right now, mom, please?" I begged, burying my face in my pillow. Bella's pillow.
"I'm worried about you, Edward. Don't you dare do anything stupid, do you hear me? If you go to the Volturi, I'll drag you back just so I can kill you myself." she threatened, retreating. I cracked a humorless smile. It was a sad smile, a hurt smile, that quickly turned into a grimace.
A few hours later, I heard Carlisle come home. "Edward? Would you like to talk about it?"
"About what?" I asked, trying to play dumb.
"Alice told me, Edward. You need to talk to someone. I won't let you keep to yourself like last time."
I groaned. "Fine."
He couldn't open the door humanely, so he pushed it in, causing splinters to rain over my floor. I just watched them fall, the carpet somehow resembling my heart. The wooden slivers piercing it resembling Jacob Black's imprint.
"Tell me what happened."
"I thought you said-"
"Alice said to say that, so you'd let me in."
I sighed, rolling my eyes. I sat up on the bed as he took the couch. "Jacob imprinted on Bella when he kissed her."
"First, when was this? And second, why did he kiss her in the first place?"
"After the game, I saw it in his head. She leaned in, meaning to kiss his cheek I think, but he turned to say something. That he saw me coming so she'd better leave. She was right there, and it just happened is what I gather. And they didn't stop until I revved the Volvo." I recalled. The pain was more of a dull throb now, than the sharp stabbing.
"I see…. And then what?"
"She walked to me, but she seemed uncomfortable to be in the vehicle with me. She was on edge, and I knew it was too late, that she was gone, but I couldn't help but hope that maybe she was just…being a teenager." I sighed. It helped the pain when I didn't breathe.
"So you dropped her off?"
"Yes. And when she said goodbye, I felt like it was forever. Like she was saying her final goodbyes and I couldn't answer back because if I did, I knew I'd beg her to come back."
"Sometimes, things just aren't meant to be, no matter how badly we want them to be, Edward. Rosalie loved Royce, but that obviously wasn't true love. Jasper thought he loved Maria, but eventually, he came to hate her and walked away easily. Esme was married before me, and even had tried to start a family. Sometimes, love eludes us, and lust tricks us. Only time will tell."
He was one hundred percent right. He always was, of course, no matter how badly I wished the opposite. I looked down, ashamed for him to see the pain in my eyes, and examined the comforter. On it, there was a hair of Bella's.
"You're right." I whispered brokenly.
"So, don't give up, okay, son? Keep looking for her." he smiled kindly and patted my shoulder. "Your mother and I will always be here for you, never forget that."
"Thanks, Dad." I looked up, smiling half heartedly.
"Anytime." he said before closing the crooked door. It did not shut all the way.
The morning brought no relief, only a nauseating feeling of dread. I'd have to see her, pretend that it was alright. Pretend I wasn't dying inside, and that I wasn't desperate to get her back. I'd have to put up a façade, and speak to her in every class. We had them all together. Strange how one weekend can change two years.
I was one of the first ones there, the rest of the family in Alice's Porsche. I went into the office, pasted a fake smile on my face, and greeted a tired Ms. Cope.
"Edward, what can I do for you today?" she asked, smiling.
"Um, I was wondering if you could change my schedule?"
BPOV
I was not looking forward to school. I'd have to see Edward. I just didn't love him anymore, and I knew it was harsh for me to break up with him after two years with a simple "goodbye" so I was planning on apologizing in one of our many classes together.
So I was thoroughly bewildered when he was not in one of my classes. I only saw him during lunch. When I finally gathered enough courage to go up to him, Rosalie Hale met my gaze and glared so fiercely at me, her glare blank and dead, I sat right back down and never looked up again.
Alice met me after lunch. "Hey, Bella." she smiled, but it was cooler than normal. More distant.
"Oh, hey, Alice." I smiled warmly. I hated to see my best friend turn on me…
"Uhm, Edward opted out of all your classes, just to let you know. And I packed up all your things from our house and I put the storage tub in the back of your truck. Edward wanted his shirt back, as well. I guess I could also take my dresses and stuff back. And that pair of flats I let you borrow."
"You said I could keep those." I frowned.
"You had no problem handing Edward his heart back after he said the same thing."
"Alice-"
"No, Bella, I'm sorry. That was mean of me. Just bring our stuff tomorrow. I'll see you around." she smiled politely, still holding no warmth at all.
"Bye." I sighed. I couldn't help how I felt. Edward held no attraction for me anymore. I loved Jacob.
"Hey, Bella." Angela said, coming up on my side.
"Hey, Ang." I smiled. The incident with Alice nearly forgotten already.
"So you're not dating Edward anymore?"
"No, I broke up with him yesterday. I kind of like another guy."
"Who?" she demanded.
"Jacob Black." I blushed.
"He is pretty…hot."
"You have no idea…." I shook my head, laughing. We made our way to Spanish.
EPOV
After Alice had talked to Bella, she joined me in my history class. I smiled at her, silently thanking her for doing that.
"You're welcome." she whispered. "You're my brother, you always come first."
"I don't know what I would do without you." I shook my head.
"You'd be simply lost, my dear brother, and I'd have to come and find you."
"Do you see me falling in love again?"
"Not yet, Edward. I have a feeling that a vision will come later this week, though." she said with a sly smile. I nodded, smiling still.
"Thanks, Alice. Again."
"Of course." she smiled, looking ahead. Class passed slowly after that.
Out of class, out of school, and away from humans, I took a run with Jasper. He understood my pain, and as far as brothers went, he was a great one for heartbreak. He knew one's boundaries and just listened. It was nice to tell someone who understood.
After breaking down, he sent me a wave of calmness. "Edward, Bella wasn't the one, Carlisle told you that. She moved on, but it wasn't her fault. It's no one's fault. You'll find a new girl and she'll be ten times what Bella was and you'll marry her and live happily ever after. She'll be what Alice is to me and what Rosalie is to Emmett. Don't give up, Edward."
"Thanks, Jasper." I smiled up at him.