Heal
Friendship is profound. Sometimes, you hardly even realise it exists, but its strength, so powerful that it brings glee to those who encounter it, yet, it is also too fragile, so easily destroyed if it's not nourished with love by both parties. My first encounter with friendship was unforgettable. It was with Judy, a beautiful, demure youth, four years my senior.
Going to school is always a torture, especially so if your father is the headmaster. But I used to love school, it was a place where I could master the skills of a magician and realise my dream of becoming a bishop, to heal. Father used to be a nurse at Niora Hospital, and when visiting him, I would stare at all the patients there. It was as if I could sense their pain emanating from their eyes like wordless pleas for me to save them from all the sufferings they had.
My life had totally changed when my father became the headmaster, so abruptly that I didn't have to time to react, to beg him not to. Schoolmates started to shun away from me, as if I had a plague. It was so depressing, how could a mere twelve-year-old handle such isolation? Previously, I had already been a loner, but at least it was of my own free will...
Hiding my tears was difficult; I couldn't let my father know, it would cause him utmost pressure as he had always wanted this job. He would be in a difficult position. Though I knew he would resign for my sake, but how could I be so selfish to deprive him of the joy he obtains from his job? Actually, it wasn't all so gloomy; I still had a hideaway – the Mushroom Park. Whenever I felt miserable, looking at the rays of sunlight shining ever so gently on the lake always seemed to cheer me up and I could spend hours sitting by the waters. Perhaps it might sound peculiar to sit there all day but what could a friendless person do?
It was at the park where I first met her. She approached me first; besides, I wouldn't dare to speak to anyone. "Hey there, what's with your grim mood? I see you here almost everyday when I walk home. Cheer up! You know what? I could actually use a metre rule to measure your face, 'cause you're pulling such a long one!" she said. I smiled, yet the way my cheek muscles moved felt strange, as if they have forgotten how to smile.
That was when our friendship was germinating but I didn't know. Sometimes, I found her annoying, saying millions of senseless jokes to me. What's the point? Did she think I was her friend? She was merely an acquaintance, no, perhaps just a stranger I've met a few times.
"Hey, you! Yes, you, pet of all teachers huh! Just because you're the child of the oh-so-fearsome headmaster. Wow, since you're SO popular with teachers, why don't we see any friends with you? Oh, or do you prefer invisible friends? Hahaha!" Once again, the popular kids at school taunted me. Images of me walking up to those kids and giving a punch on the revolting face of their "leader" would flash in my head, but I just didn't have the guts to do so. And so, I walked away again, back hunched, with my head facing downwards. Scoffs exploded from behind almost instantaneously as I walk back to class.
"The day for the Annual Creative Potion-Making Competition is nearing soon. I have high hopes on some of you here. Our school will select three representatives for the competition and this year, it's held at Korean Folk Town. I'm sure many would like to have the chance to go there, isn't it? So, work hard guys! You have a week before we'll do the selection." Master Grendel said ever-so eagerly.
An idea burned wildly in my head, as soon as school's over, I started on my creation for the ACPMC. I had to be the one chosen; that might be my only chance that would earn me respect from my schoolmates and get some friends. Hours of brewing potions after potions to obtain the perfect one tired me and due to sheer exhaustion I returned to my refuge at Mushroom Park for some rest. The grasses were so soft; I really felt like lying there. My mood so calm and I felt so at ease. Almost abruptly, I felt a soft pat on my shoulder and turning back, I realized it was Judy. We talked about the competition and shared our ideas. Hers seemed perfect, way better than mine, I thought and not realising that I expressed my thoughts out loud. "Well, yours is good too. And I can help you if you want." Judy remarked. I felt slightly offended, what makes her think that I would need her help?!
The day, that fateful day, it had finally arrived and I was selected, along with Judy and Dexter. We were scheduled to leave tomorrow and that would be two weeks before ACMPC starts. It wasn't really a surprise though as Father was involved in the selection, and I'm pretty sure he had shown biasness. Previously, I would have argued with him, but now, I didn't. Sometimes, it does embarrass me, but somehow I could tolerate it then, perhaps I was too blinded by the thought that people would accept me. However, it didn't matter, my potion was excellent too; or it wasn't?
Judy seemed much too ecstatic, calling me thrice a day to ask me about my preparations for the trip and it gets on my nerves. I was willing to talk though, but I was more interested in what her potion was like, rather than what stuffed teddy she's bringing. She appears to be too childish for her age, much too childish. No wonder she doesn't seem to have many friends either.
Korean Folk Town was a beautiful place. When we arrived, we were greeted by numerous chirping birds. Their voices were so soothing, so comforting. "Look at how cute they are! Wow, look at 'em, how pretty!" Judy exclaimed in her distinctive high-pitched voice. I could laugh at her immaturity just then.
Days flew by so fast, like birds flying south during winter. Soon, it was only a day before presenting our potions to the judges. Definitely I would feel panicky. I eyed Judy brewing her potion that morning, she grinned as she pour the potion into her flask which she wasted hours decorating. She was too much a bragger, or at least I thought so. Nevertheless, I still have to say hers was nigh-perfect. Jealously stung my heart once again, I had tried so hard, but mine was still nowhere near hers. Am I destined to be a loner forever? How could God be so unsympathetic towards me? Why didn't he love me like how he had loved Judy? Again, my face was stained with tears. Should I give up? I thought for a very long while. My head hurts and so does my heart.
Fear clawed at my heart as I grabbed hold of Judy's flask, stealthily and cautiously, I added dead snails that were sliced into bits and pieces. As I shake the flask for the contents to be mixed evenly, delight replaced fear in my heart. I smiled, no, more of a smirk. If I didn't even have a chance to enter the finals, Judy shall not get that too. She wouldn't know, for she trusted me, far too much. I chuckled at the thought. How silly she was.
I turned to return to my bed, but Judy, she was right in front of me and her eyes were all red and puffy. I was shocked by the sudden turn of events; I didn't know what to say. I mouthed out the word "sorry" but she glared at me, her eyes were so livid that they seemed to bore holes in my mind. I tried to hug her, but she ran off. I gave chase but I soon lost sight of her. Guilt engulfed me, it was a painful feeling, even misery was better. I have hurt her deeply. Her laughter, her jokes, her voices were playing over and over again in my mind. Suddenly, realisation struck me, hard. We were friends, good friends, best friends, soul mates and I single-handedly ruined it. Why haven't I realised that all this while she was trying so hard to constantly cheer me up and encourage me? How could my vision be blocked so easily by my greed for friends? I already had Judy, what more could I even ask for? Tears fell uncontrollably, like an unstoppable tide. My heart wrenched so badly. I lost her.
I never entered the competition and she didn't too, I ruined her chances. We became what I had always thought we were, strangers. Perhaps it would be better that way, but each time, when I visit the park, I would always wish that one day, she would sit by my side once again. She never did, though countless of times, I saw her pass by the lake so quickly; she must have wanted to avoid me as she threw all the letters of apology I gave her. I couldn't blame her, for I was the one who caused all these.
After our friendship was ruined, I did have other friends, but none were as true to me as Judy was. People always remarked that I'm very successful to become a bishop at the age of eighteen and it was certainly joyous to receive such compliments. However, though I have healed countless of patients, yet I couldn't heal our friendship, my only true friendship.
My dream wasn't realised at all.