IF ONLY FOR ONE NIGHT

Summary: Sesshoumaru's emotional evolution concerning Rin. But was it too late?

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. The title is based on a song by Luther Van Dross. Chapter title courtesy of John Milton.

Let me hold you tight

If only for one night

Let me keep you near

To ease away your fears

It would be so nice

If only for one night….

Chapter 1: Paradise Lost

Xoxoxoxoxo

A large, warm palm glided gently across the tiny slender waist of the girl as the owner of the hand appreciated the silky texture beneath his sensitive claws. Claws that he had sworn to hold only his precious swords and nothing else. What foolish drivel he had spouted when he had almost lost his world.

Xoxoxoxoxo

(Time Break)

The demon lord despised weaknesses, especially the one that humans called love which so enthralled them and made them more rash and more ignorant in their arrogance of self-projected superiority; in fact, he had deliberately spurned those feelings for he was Sesshoumaru. He could not be subjected to care for another; he never claimed compassion as a personal trait. The dog lord treated everyone equally, regarding them all with impassiveness bordering on contempt. Many had denunciated him as having a frozen fortress for a heart and he never corrected that notion.

That was until the advent of the girl hurtling like a catapult into his well-ordered, organized life. It was almost an impossibility that a human, much less a female, could have redefined his perception and beliefs so completely. But of course, he was in vehement denial because he could not afford to appear as frail. Even before she had stumbled upon him in the forest, he thought he had buried it so deep that he even fooled himself from the truth of his regard for that human girl. Afterwards when he realized what had happened, he was even fiercer in covering up those truths, layer after layer, aggressively guarding his secret so well that even she was assuredly convinced she held no emotional importance, no value to him only except as an obligation, an albatross around his neck.

The Lord Sesshoumaru lived as a warrior all his life and as a warrior, he had his own peculiar code of ethics to uphold. Of his own volition, (although he proclaimed it was only a mere test at the time), he had cheated death through his father's sword. He cheated death yet again when it dawned on his mother that the girl's demise upset him greatly judging from the ferocious scowl and the dangerous, angry aura shimmering around the lord. And as any good mother who adored her heir, she brought life back into the limp form of the human girl. Her suspicions were confirmed as she witnessed the intimacy of the two figures as they huddled close seemingly drawing strength only from one another – him in seeking unspoken reassurance from the girl that she was once again alive and well, and her in wanting to have her first glimpse be that of her lord welcoming her back from that dreadful, empty place. They were oblivious to everything and everyone else for a few short moments but in their collective minds, that short span of time stretched infinitely when their gaze eagerly fastened on one another. Wide brown eyes conveyed such unending joy for the white apparition before her while the tawny orbs showed relief yet held a touch of wariness about them as though he knew it was yet another pivotal moment in his life.

The direction of his quest for power had somehow taken a different tangent. If his mother had wondered about his devotion, her question was resoundingly answered by his action. It was so evident in the tender way his claws had reached out and gently palmed the soft skin of the girl's face. Never had she seen her icily fastidious son voluntary touched someone unless he was ready to dispatch them to hell. Sesshoumaru did not speak much but his actions spoke volumes that day. One would have to be literally blind not to be able to feel the strength of his consideration for the human. She knew Rin was unaware as to fully appreciate the budding feelings, however small and however vehemently denied by the dog lord. No doubt her son was discovering this novel experience quite disconcerting since he thought he was above such human mediocrity. But it was something that only Sesshoumaru could reconcile the turmoil within himself and only time was to tell if those feelings for the girl were meant to flourish or wither.

Of course, if anyone had dare challenged his actions at that second resurrection, Sesshoumaru would have had a slightly more pragmatic explanation. As prevalent to their species, what he created, he possessed. What he desired, he conquered. He was her protector, her guide. Her life was his to do as he pleased. Her heartbeat belonged to him from the very first moment when she opened her eyes and came back to the land of the living. Rin was his. It was quite simple really.

When he had first resurrected that girl child in such unusual circumstances, he had unconsciously allowed her to cling to him like a helpless kitten, steadfastly shadowing him because she apparently felt some false sense of security in being with him. Just because he saved her once did not mean that he will do it again. For the life of him, Sesshoumaru did not remember encouraging her to think in that manner, to believe he would take a human's safety into serious consideration. He was also confounded in how she could be grateful for life again since hers was riddled with hardship, abandonment, and aloneness. Surely, she would have avoided him like the plague for bringing her back to such a miserable existence. She was truly an enigma to him.

Yet, the girl's confidence in his ability to keep her from harm bordered on the illogic and unwavering as she happily tagged along in his tread on endless miles. Why she continued, he had never understood. Sesshoumaru thought it was made perfectly clear that he was neither responsible for her health nor her safety.

He was such a hypocrite.

Sesshoumaru found himself silently and stealthily providing for her needs. He made sure clean clothes were available as she grew like a young vine stretching out towards the sun. He made sure the victuals she gathered on her own could be obtained because he had deliberately diverted from his path often to enable her to find sustenance for her fragile, human body. He watched over her every movement without her realizing it and always was only a breath away whenever she called out his name. Even his dense servant, Jaken, was no fool to his lord's meticulously careless yet hawkish vigilance over the girl. Many a times Jaken was about to shoot off his mouth about the burden of caring for the chit only to subside quietly when those amber eyes glinted dangerously in warning.

Foolish pride.

But his care of her was for nothing when she had approached him one day after years of being with him and had asked permission for her departure. Sesshoumaru remembered the unadulterated wrenching pain as she voiced her request aloud, in halting words but with a quiet seriousness and maturity that belied her young nineteen summers. The girl calmly expected no outright refusal from the stoic lord whose manners and facial expressions were impassive as always. Unfortunately, with her human senses, she failed to detect his breathing had quickened and the tell-tale jaw muscle clenched tightly. That bitter, acrid taste of pure jealousy drenched his tongue as his fangs bit down on the soft inner flesh of his mouth drawing blood as he remembered those damning words.

"Lord Sesshoumaru. I wish to live with Kohaku in his village."

TBC

(A/N: Please read and definitely review! This will probably be a two-shots. I wanted to break this up otherwise it would have been an extremely long read and I don't want to bore you guys. LOL. Yes. I am also working on chapter 9 on RML (this story is holding my muse hostage right now) and a couple of other mini-plots so hopefully it wouldn't be long before some of them get posted. Thank you for your patience!)