Lyrics are from several Bruce Springsteen songs... "Happy," "Beautiful Reward," "My Love Will Not Let You Down" and "My Lover Man." I felt that they helped pull together the continuing saga of Buffy and Spike. And I wanted to pay homage to one of my favorite musical artist ever.
Some need gold and some need diamond rings
Or a drug to take away the pain that living brings
A promise of a better world to come
When whatever here is done
I don't need that sky of blue
All I know's since I found you, I'm happy when I'm in your arms
Happy, darling, come the dark
Happy when I taste your kiss
I'm happy in a love like this...
Angel had been kind enough to let us use his private jet to get back to Rome. Of course, if he hadn't, Spike could have just called the Rome office and they would have sent one of theirs for us. Nonetheless, it was kind on Angel's part. I'd spent nearly two days rebuffing him when I wasn't shagging my vampire senseless. Yeah. I say 'shagging' now. And Angel's desk? Let's just say Spike and I got a serious 'talking to' about our indiscretions and where we took them before we left Los Angeles.
"You two have absolutely no respect for anyone! Spike, as much as I would like to lay the blame solely on you for this-- this--" He was staring at the disarray of his desk as he tried to find the words to describe just how disgusting he found the act we'd committed just moments before he walked into his office. "This little act of vengeance--"
Oh, now that was just a silly thing to say. Act of vengeance?
"If this had been an 'act of vengenace' I would have just put in an interdimensional call to D'Hoffryn," I retorted.
Angel raised his eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak.
"Oh, just can it, Peaches," Spike told him. "We'd come in here to say our final ta-ta's and the Slayer, she's just insatiable. Jumped me right here. Tried to tell her you'd smell it a mile away--"
Once upon a time, I would have butted in only to call him a pig. Or a liar. But, he was right. It was all me.
"It's true," I agreed. "And you know, now that you mention it, maybe there was just a tiny amount of vengeance involved. You know, you did keep very important information from me about my dearly undeparted," I reasoned.
In the end, Angel snarled a little. Spike got huffy and puffy. There was some sort of threat thrown in our direction about having no problem staking us both if we ever violated any part of his office again. And then we all kissed and made up.
Well I sought gold and diamond rings
My own drug to ease the pain that living brings
Walked from the mountain to the valley floor
Searching for my beautiful reward
Searching for my beautiful reward...
"How long do you think this thing with Dawn and Andrew has been going on?" I ask, taking off my seatbelt and moving over to the couch Spike is already occupying. This is so much better than flying commercial.
"Pet, I don't know how long. You live with them. Not me."
Not yet, I think. But in about thirteen hours you will.
"Well, what tipped you off in the first place?" I persist.
He sighs and narrows his eyes on mine.
"Is this what you really want to be doing right now? Worrying yourself over what little sis is doing with that git? Or would you rather be joining the mile high club with me?" His eyebrow is raised and I get that the mile high club is something naked and naughty. But we've got plenty of time for that. Right now, I want to figure out what I'm going to do about my baby sister and that little freak I let come into my home.
Spike nods and takes my hand in his. He knows that neither of us us going to be joining any club in any way until I figure out what I'm going to say to my sister.
"You want me to go in and just scare the boy? I could do that, you know. Big Bad here. Grrr!" he teases, flashing his gold eyes at me.
"Dawn's not a kid anymore," I say sadly. I feel like I missed out on most of my childhood and hers, too. "She's getting ready to start university."
"And technically, she's older than both of us," he points out.
It's true. Ancient key. That's what she is. But she's still wrapped up in that coltish teenaged body and her juvenile outbursts, although fewer and farther between, are still rearing their ugly heads.
"But... Andrew?" I ask. I can't quite wrap my mind around that one.
"Why not Andrew?" Spike wonders aloud. He looks kind of insulted and I don't know why. It's not like he's Andrew's number one fan or anything.
"Well, he's.. weird," I try. Not good enough. Even I know that.
"Tell me about the whelp first time you met him," he says.
"Well, the first time I met Andrew--"
"No, not about that whelp. Tell me about the whelp. About Harris."
Xander? What does Xander have to do with Andrew? Sometimes I wonder about Spike and his 19th century thinking.
"Come on, Slayer. Dig deep. Think about the first time you laid eyes on the boy. Were you wanting to jump his bones?" Spike's grinning cheekily. Of course I'd never wanted to jump Xander's bones. He was a total geek. Ohhh...
"Xander was dork city. Is there a point you're trying to make?" I want to know.
"Always a point, love," he tells me. He's turned toward me and holding both of my hands in his. He takes in one of those deep yet unneccessary breaths he likes to take. Vampire and all. But he's held onto so many human ways. It sometimes makes me forget that there's a demon buried in there somewhere.
"Had you met William when he was alive," he begins, referring to his mortal self, "I imagine he would have been nothing more to you than the whelp is. Maybe even less. Fearsome to say, but Harris even comes across more manly than that git William ever did. Scared of everything, even his own shadow. That's what I was. Before."
He always makes a good point. So, he's saying he has a soft spot for Andrew?
"Are you saying you have a soft spot for Andrew?" I ask, skeptical of what he is saying.
"I'm saying that out of all the blokes in this big, wide world, your sister could have done much, much worse. There's a world of bad, rude men waiting to take advantage of a sweet little bit like Dawn."
He doesn't use her name very often. When he does, it's with purpose. It's meant to make me take notice. Or her, on the rare occasion he'd felt the need to admonish her for something.
"I gather the boy was probably a virgin. And Niblet... she'd better damned well have been." His eyes definately flashed gold when he growled out that she'd better damned well have been.
"How old were you, Buffy?"
How huh? He's not asking...
"When you let the Poofter deflower you?"
And yes, he is. Asking. Asking that. My cheeks feel really hot. Really, really hot. It's a question he probably already knows the answer to, but he's doing the whole 'I'm making a point, so say it out loud' thing. I hate this game.
"Do we have any of those cute little bottles of Bacardi on this plane?" I hear myself asking. Have I not learned my lesson about Buffy and booze from my last trip in a plane? I'm scanning the interior of the plane for anything that looks remotely alcoholic. Nope. I haven't learned.
Spike is laughing. At me. It isn't a hearty all-out guffaw, but it's laughter enough.
"Slayer," he says, reaching up to stoke my cheek. "You were right about 16."
I knew he already knew. Stupid rhetorical vampire. I can feel myself scowling and that is not of the good. Doesn't he know that scowling causes wrinkles? And that some of us will not retain our youthful glow for all eternity? Remind me why I love him so much...
Well hold still now darling, hold still for God's sake
'Cause I got me a promise I ain't afraid to make
My love will not let you down
My love will not let you down...
Oh yeah. Because he's here. Because when everyone else leaves, he'll still be here. He'll never fade away. And for that, I love him more than any woman could love any man ever.
"At least the Bit's waited a little longer than you. And the boy? Probably even longer," he tells me. "Besides... how could he resist a Summers girl? I couldn't"
Him and his pretty words. They'll be the death of me.
"And it's got to be something pretty deep between them. I mean, she's head and shoulders taller than the boy. Smart as a whip, too. But I gather he's got smarts of his own and charm we haven't even begun to see. But she's seen it. And I don't mean that in a dirty way," he says pointedly.
"I seem to recall him treatin' her like a person and not like some little girl back before the big showdown at the Hellmouth."
I try to remember when that was. Was I even there?
"He, uh, let those crazy bints wire him. And then they tried to get the First to appear to him as that Jonathan bloke. There was something between them, then. Maybe just a little spark. She was pulling off the tape from where they'd wired him. But she told the boy he was amazing. And, uh... he told her she was a peach. Really sweet little exchange that I'm sure no one really noticed, but there was something starting to surface there, yeah."
Where the hell was I during that 'sweet little exchange'? Why wasn't I there to witness that spark? That something that was starting to surface. Go figure. Spike's there for all of my sister's defining moments.
"So, uh... where was I?" I wonder if I really want to know.
I can tell by the expression on his face that it was somewhere that I probably shouldn't have been.
"You were out on your big date with Wood." He looks crestfallen.
Oh.
"I love you," I tell him. He's the kind that needs to be reminded of that. A lot. And I have a lot to do with that. I mean, kick the Spike was fun for awhile. But it really fucked him up. I get that now.
"I love you, too, Kitten. And that date meant nothing. Know that now, I do."
I almost believe him. But he's still pouting.
"Hey pouty-pouty," I tease. "Gonna get that lip."
I pull him to me and suck on his bottom lip. I feel him relax and his tongue comes out to play.
I don't mean to cause you hurt or cause you pain
Life is short and love's a dirty game
Now there's no need for our game to end
Come close and we'll begin
To find our beautiful selves again, my lover man
My lover man
My lover man...
I pull away from him reluctantly. I need to see his eyes. I need to know he's okay. It's amazing how when you realize how much you love someone, their pain becomes your own. And I need to see that he's okay. That he's not dwelling on the past. Because we've got one hell of a future ahead of us, bumpy road and all.
"We're okay?" I ask him, stroking his cheek tenderly. See? I can do tender. And I'm getting pretty good at it, too.
"Always okay when I'm with you. Better than," he promises.
We've got a long flight ahead of us. I think it's time we joined that Mile High Club. I can always think of what to say to Dawn when we land.