Yami's koi: I'm feeling pretty depressed today, so I've decided to write another angst fic... but not based solely on suicide.

Bakura: It's about either me or Ryou isn't it? Don't lie. I can see that 'I wanna make Bakura and Ryou suffer' glint in your eye again.

Yami's koi: sure it's not a tear? Anyways... see ya at the bottom... --

Lyrics

Circling you, circling your, circling your head, contemplating everything you ever said, now I see the truth.

I'm not a perfect person, but I've found out a reason to show you who I am. And my reason... is him.

Whether or not we hate each other, or never speak again, is a debate that has raged through my head for many months now. Many people have hurt me before, so he sees no reason in not abusing me.

Yes. I have endured emotional pain, and physical. And yet I am still undergoing the large thoughts that scream at me, arguing at which can be the most painful. When both fused to make one whole emotion, they can be a burden so terrible, and cruel. Especially when I am in this world.

I got a doubt, A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out: See you later

Where can I begin...? I guess it all started when I lost my mother. I would be... fourteen at the time. She lies now, buried beneath the British Earth in which was once the ground I walked upon. My father... was obviously devastated. Torn by his despair, the answer of leaving his grief behind finally came to him. I spent my fifteenth birthday in England before we moved here... to Tokyo.

Ever since then my father... now a changed, corrupted man... betrays me. He sits on his ass all fucking day whilst I work my hands to the bone... when I'm not being beaten by him, or Bakura, of course.

I see your fantasy, You wanna make it a reality paved in gold, See inside, Inside of our heads yeah, Well now that's over.

Hai... I should almost blame myself. I never meant for this to develop so fast. Bakura, that bastard, threatens me daily. Within the next hour he shall return home... and see what I have done. I hope this will please him... perhaps he will see that I can do at least one thing right, even if in death. Yes, he probably wants me dead so he can take over my body... huh.

One day they will push me too far, and I will suicide. I may not be violent towards others but... of late, I have found myself becoming increasingly more abusive to my own shell. Bakura of course doesn't notice. He probably sees them and is pleased, dismissing these scars as marks he himself has printed upon my skin. As for my father... he is too drunk to even recognise me.

I see your motives inside, decisions to hide.

Well, you can drink yourself blind. And, Bakura, when wanking yourself off runs its course and becomes too boring for you, I hope you evolve into something so lonely that you die. But then again... you don't deserve death. And neither do you deserve life.

Many have often stated to me how uncannily alike me and Bakura are in appearance. Oh but if they only knew... just how well the concepts of hikari and yami are demonstrated in our so-called relationship.

I have coveted a razorblade from in the bathroom, and it is only I who knows of its whereabouts. I have hidden it securely under my bed, and now it resides in my hand.

Back off, I'll take you on: Headstrong, to take on anyone. I know that you are wrong Headstrong... we're Headstrong. Back off, I'll take you on. Headstrong to take on anyone. I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong.

It is odd, cutting one's self. To think that something so... cold and empty... can become so addictive, and satisfying. Almost like a razorblade romance. Well, if this concept of mine is true, then this will be a razorblade kiss...

My wrist rises automatically to collide with the blade in my right hand. I spare no moment on hastily running the metal along my wrist, making an unbearably shallow scratch in my flesh. Not even the tiniest droplet of blood can be seen.

I am infuriated. The amount of times I have seen my father with cuts on his face... unless that was gained from consuming an alcohol overdose and then attempting to shave. That would be a reasonable assumption, ne?

I can't give everything away... I won't give everything away...

In some ways I do not want to suicide. It would only be giving Bakura what he wanted above all else. It makes you sick, doesn't it? To think that two people can be bonded so well only to have one destroying the other with such brutal force. To have one so betrayed and broken. So solitary and grim.

I know that my slashes will never deepen if I dwell on some reason or another. My breathing slows to calm me from my rage. With a smirk almost as evil as my yami's, I begin to move my blade again.

Conclusion manifest, your first impressions got to be your very best...

Using my will, I force all of my strength down to my hand. When it draws along the length of my wrist to complete a cut, I finally see blood. I withdraw the sharp device and stare in satisfaction when it trickles down to my elbow, in one very thin line. It almost appears like silk when it shines so in the light.

Odd, isn't it? How so many can actually be so deadened by grief. I hate those bastards who consider suicide and self-harm as a mental illness. We wouldn't do this for no particular reason: it'd not for fun. And neither are the reasons why we do this.

I see you're full of shit and that's all right, That's how you play, I guess you'll get through every night, Well now that's over.

Mental illnesses cause you to do something less extreme than this, yes, but this is an action of grief. We aren't maddened by depression, it doesn't control me... and yet I do not control it. Iie, the only one who does have powers over this are our reasons why we are in such position anyway.

The beautifully textured blood drips onto the floor. Thankfully this is a room without a carpet, so I won't have to clean the bugger up for over an hour to shift it.

I see your fantasy, you wanna make it a reality paved in gold, see inside, inside of our heads yeah, well now that's over. I see your motives inside... decisions to hide.

My wrist holding the blade almost moves of its own accord when it continues to bite along the skin. I always love this part... where the blood, trapped between escape and a knife, follows the edge of the knife when it moves, every single droplet captured onto the cold metal. And when it dries, that's a colour I adore, too. Ah, the very liquid that gives me life – which I do not want – transfixes me. Ironic, really.

I decide this is enough... for now. I lift the freely bleeding wrist to my mouth and begin to gently suck on the blood that is there. I love the coppery, salty substance almost as much as slitting my wrists.

To avoid any suspicions arising, I wear a sweatband on my wrist to conceal my scars. Occasionally people must catch a glimpse of the mars there, but I cannot care for that. My business is my own, and my revenge is about Bakura.

I know, I know all about, I know, I know all about, I know, I know all about, I know, I know all about your motives inside... decision to hide...

Speaking of him, he's here. Now. Slowly I replace the blade underneath the 'emergency towels,' cover my blood on the floor using my foot and get my sweatband over the still bleeding cut.

General POV, Past tense

"Hello darkness," Ryou hissed his eyebrows nearing his eyes dangerously. Bakura in turn returned the usual greeting.

"Hi bitch," He growled, stalking over to his hikari. Without warning, his fist clenched and collided forcefully into Ryou's back. With a cry, Ryou staggered forwards, this only encouraging his yami to abuse him further, with more force. Ryou allowed his eyes to close; ready for whatever Bakura had to do to him.

For it would NEVER compare to how he really felt inside.

Yami's koi: Still depressed. Let me know if you want another chapter, I have a good idea of where to lead this. I know Ryou's suicidal thoughts are getting overdone, especially with Good Riddance (Time of your Life), which is out now, if anyone's interested.

Ryou: it's about me again. Sweat drops And I'm not even your favourite character!

Yami's koi: nah, Bakura is. Then Yami, then Yugi, THEN you, then... Jou. Gotta love his thug theory, and dumbass attitude.

Bakura: since I actually want Hikari Suicide to be completed, I'll kill Neutral Man!

Yami's koi: okay then. So... reviews are loved greatly. I have other angst fics out if you're interested. Plushie of sulking Seto to reviewers. BYE!