Heaven Needed A Hero
(But what if I need you more?)
"Come on. Dollop head... I need you to recover. " Merlin shook his unconscious Prince violently, his pale slender fingers gripping tightly on the crown Prince's shoulders but he doesn't stir. Arthur's eyes continued to stay closed, his shallow breath passing through pale cold lips. "Þurhhæle dolgbenn." Merlin whispers, his eyes flashing gold as he feels his magic burn through his veins and the tingle of it as it passes through his fingertips and into his sleeping prince.
"Listen to me, clotpole. I don't care if you die; there are plenty of other Princes. You're not the only pompous, supercilious, condescending royal... imbecile I could work for. The world is full of them. But... I'm going to give you one more chance. Licsar gehæle nu!" With every insult, Merlin grows more frantic. With every enchantment, every spell he tries; he feels his throat burn and the pinpricks of tears sear behind his eyes. Merlin wipes the sweat from Arthur's brow and runs his fingers through the damp blonde hair that curled at the nape of his neck.
It was only that morning that Merlin had done the same thing. He could still feel the pressure of Arthur's fingers hard on his hips and the Prince's smiling lips against his neck and mouth. The slick feel of skin on skin and the whispers and screams made of promises and secrets they each swore to forever protect. He remembers Arthur lazily stroking his side when they had collapsed on top of each other, completely spent and deliriously happy. He could still feel the warm fingertips trailing gently up down Merlin's cheek, his dark red lips bitten and bruised mouthing softly down Merlin's jaw.
Arthur had laughed when Merlin refused to get up and had instead tightened his hold on his Prince. If only he had held on a little tighter, kissed Arthur a little harder. They wouldn't be here now and Arthur wouldn't be hurt, the bright red crimson wouldn't be staining the gleaming metallic silver of his chainmail that Merlin had polished until they shone himself. The sorcerer's tears trail rivulets down his cheeks, his vision blurry as he clutches onto Arthur, his lips peppering kisses on his King's face. His heart hurt in his chest, but the worst of all was being able to feel his magic curl inside him; ready to be loosened onto the world and yet somehow unable to save the only thing that mattered- Arthur.
"What about our destiny! What about our paths that the gods and fate themselves have crossed for us? Where will he go? …What will I do?" The yelling subsides as the sun begins to set, Merlin's throat sore from screaming and the tightness of tears. The wind blows the chill cold night air into their glade and Merlin notices Arthur shiver. He lies next to his lover that night, his arms wrapped around his broken King, his fingers drawing circles on Arthur's heated skin. Merlin flinches every time he sees Arthur grimace in pain and mumble in his sleep, flailing- but unable to wake. The sorcerer clutches him to his own body, whispering and humming in his lover's ear, soft and soothing.
"Stay with me, Arthur. Don't make me carry your stupid carcass all the way to Camelot- you have a very fat head you know. I couldn't possibly lift it." His slender fingers dance across Arthur's brow, the pad of his thumb swiping gently at his lips as he bent down for one chaste kiss. He couldn't believe it, he can't. Merlin was numb- his mind quiet suffice the soft sound of breath between Arthur's parted lips. He didn't understand. Kilgharrah had promised. Gaius had promised- everyone had been telling him their destinies were intertwined. It was exactly his luck he mused, as his palm cups Arthur's cheek, that the gods decided to change his destiny just when he was beginning to get comfortable with it. When he was beginning to love it, that and the bloody arse of a Prince that came with it.
The trees swayed in the heavy wind that whistled through the trees in the pale moonlight. They seemed to whisper, to console Merlin, their gentleness caressing his cheeks, drying his tears. The sorcerer's voice is sore from all his angered screaming, from all his futile attempts at saving him. What was the point of his magic anyway? If it couldn't save the very person it was made for. The rage burns in his blood, he was angry at everyone- Arthur, for promising that they would be alright, at his Mother, for being the first to see the true feelings his Prince had for him. He was angry with everybody, but most of all, at himself. It was job, his duty- his very reason for existing being to protect Arthur. Yet here he was, his love's life slipping further and further away from his with every second and all he can do is sob into the cold metal. He's mucked it all up, like he's mucked up everything else- how could he have possibly thought that they would have a happy ending?
"Merlin?" The voice lurches the sorcerer out of his reverie, his hands cool in the small stream that passed through the clearing, the crystal blue water washing away the crimson blood. He scrambles over to Arthur, his breath hitching in his throat only to see Arthur's eyes still closed. Had he finally gone mad? Merlin lets out a sob, his arms wrapped around himself as he felt the tears drip down his cheeks and onto Arthur's flushed ones. His eyes widen- no, the pain stung his heart but the wonder never ceases, the love in his heart never silences it's singing. He's surprised every time he looks into those bright baby blue eyes. Merlin feels his lips twitch upward in a smile as Arthur's eyes meet his own. He'd thought he never be able to see those beautiful eyes ever again.
"Merlin-" Arthur coughs, crimson flecks rising to his lips. The sorcerer's hands uselessly stroking Arthur's face, only to have the Prince bat them away and hold them in his own above his heart hidden under armor and chainmail; but for a clear path only meant for Merlin, straight on through and through, past walls built for self preservation. "Tell me a story." His King's eyes are wide and attentive, his breath shallow as he breathes through his lips.
"Wha- you're ordering me around now, Sire?" Arthur just glares at him, his eyes narrowing but his lips spread in a smile.
"Really, Merlin. One would think even an idiot like you would understand a simple order when given one." The words weren't sharp, softened by Arthur's calloused fingers stroking his palm and the breathless smile on his face as Merlin leans in for a kiss. He couldn't do it, he wouldn't. Arthur could hear millions of other bedtime stories, Merlin would tell them to him personally every night; but not now. He wouldn't let the arrogant prat sleep now; he wouldn't let him die. Arthur left so much to be done behind, left so many people behind. He was leaving Merlin behind.
His King's fingers tighten his hold on Merlin's, his eyes wide and pleading. "I know I've already asked for so much Merlin, but please. I know I've taken so much of yours already but I can't think of a better way to die than to the voice of the one I love." Arthur's heart beats next to his, no longer at the same time; it lay stuttering but full as it struggled to keep up with Merlin's. The sorcerer lets the sadness drown him, the waves of pain engulf him and the bloody irony of it all suffocate him. Who would have thought that little old Merlin who had always been the one struggling to keep up with his Prince would be the stronger one now?
"My heart has always been yours, Arthur. Everything of mine is yours. You need only ask." Merlin's fingers trace over Arthur's lips as he feels the unshed tears ready to burst through the walls of dark blue. The Prince nods, his head held high and chin raised, his lips set and stubborn. In this moment Merlin has never been prouder of Arthur, of the beautiful King he could have undoubtedly been. That he will one day undoubtedly be.
"Then grant me this." The sorcerer can only nod. Merlin has never been one to deny Arthur of anything.
Merlin whispers into the night, his breath grazing Arthur's cheeks. He tells him stories of a great Prince of a massive kingdom, with a heart to challenge in size and who could forget the idiot manservant he had with the ridiculously large ears and his dark blue eyes that would flash gold when he did magic. He tells Arthur of their adventures and of their love for one another; of the selfless sacrifices they make for each other and the risks they take. But most of all Merlin tells him of a great King that Prince will be someday, so great in fact that mighty dragons speak of prophecies of his reign with heads bowed. "I have failed then." Arthur's eyes were filled with tears, a single one sneaking it's way down the corner of his eye.
Merlin simply shakes his head, not yet able to trust his voice. He owed Arthur this much. But as he spoke the words, he felt his magic and his soul resonate inside him, echoing them in his body and heart- so much that he began to hope. That he began to believe, that maybe, just maybe his words were true. "No you haven't, Arthur Pendragon. You are needed elsewhere. Your bravery when faced with danger and pain that would make lesser men cower and hide. Your kindness, your faith and most of all, your love is needed somewhere else." Merlin strokes Arthur's hair softly, his lips softly meeting his King's.
"Heaven needs a hero, Arthur. It needs a brilliant and just king. They need a brave knight with an honorable heart and a mighty sword much more than your people- much more than I need you now. I promise you, I swear it; we will meet again one day, Arthur Pendragon. Once the land of Albion needs you once more and heaven is at peace."
Arthur's lips tweak upwards in a small smile and his voice, as he's always known- strong and strangely mocking. Merlin cannot help an echoing smile from spreading on his face. "What about you, Merlin? What would you possibly do without me?"
Merlin leans close to whisper into Arthur's ear. "I will miss you, love you and need you each and everyday until you are in my arms once again, you arrogant arse." The Prince laughs but it fades away as he begins to frown, his hands tightly wrapped around his lover's. "What if… what if I can't do it, Merlin? What if I'm not good enough?"
The sorcerer shakes his head and his eyes gleam gold as the embers from the flames form images of roaring dragons and courageous knights. Arthur's bright blue eyes gleamed from the flames of the fire. "I know you, Arthur. You're a great warrior and one day, you'll be a great King. But you must learn to listen as well as you fight."
Arthur laughs, merely an exhale of breath. "Thank you, Merlin. Really. Any more pointers?"
Merlin presses his lips to Arthur's as he watches blonde lashes stop their fluttering and still on his King's cheeks. "No, that's it. Just… don't be a prat." Merlin's tears finally leak from behind his eyes. He can no longer feel the beat of Arthur's heart as the sun slowly begins to rise; the embers and flames dancing in the wind as the pictures of dragons and knights fade slowly away.