Title: So look the other way tonight.
Pairing: Remus/Sirius.
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: "I love you - but I can't let you wait for me."
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"I love you." Sirius whispered when the lights went out and steady breathing hit the back of his throat. "I love you." he said as he padded quietly towards Remus's bed, tilting his head back to try and catch glimpses of him through the pencil thin gap in the curtains.

His chest ached, when he laid there, watching him. And it was only when everyone else shut him out that it hit him - like he should have known all along, or someone should have clued him in before it started to hurt.

He rested his fingertips against the edge of the mattress and stilled when Remus rolled over in his sleep.

"I don't know why I can only say it now, or why I can only think it when you're walking away from me." he whispered, and his nails dug tightly into thick material at the curves in the mattress that he had always thought too big for just one.

Remus winced in his sleep and Sirius bit his lip.

"I know you're not talking to me now -" he continued idly, "- and I don't blame you. But it makes it easier to say when you already kind of hate me."

The moonlight littered the floor and it all felt like a mess to him, right then, right there. But his feet shuffled uncomfortably against the carpet and he nudged his legs together - his thigh pushing up against the bedframe.

"I lied though." he murmured when his pulse stopped racing around his head, "I lied. I don't know. Maybe I didn't. I just - all I know is, when you turned away yesterday I wanted to stop you. And I was half in love with you then. I think, I don't know -"

He let out a sigh and dropped his gaze to his knuckles - pressing white scars against Remus's bare back, where it almost touched.

"I think you pushing me away made the rest come naturally. Like I shouldn't or I can't."

He took a step backwards and edged himself away, back to the window, to the wall, to the confines of his own curtains where it made less sense but it ached in all the same places.

"I love you." he nodded, "But in all the wrong ways."

"I love you - but I can't let you wait for me."