AYYYYY IT'S TIME FOR ANGST I GUESS LMAOOOOO *looks at my other fics* shit *runs away from responsibilities*hahaha well anyways, this shit is messed uo so look out guys ;)Disclaimer: I don't own Be More Chill! And I never will! Thanks and enjoy!

Music to My Ears

Life is strange. Very strange. And it likes to kick you in the nuts a lot. Jeremy Heere knew this for a fact. Life was shit before he got a SQUIP. But he had Michael. Then life became shittier when he got a SQUIP. And Michael was blocked from his view, too! No way he could have survived that.

But he did.

Now, post SQUIP, things have never been worse. Well, how is that possible? Oh, just wait until you hear...

Jeremy slowly opened his eyes. What was it about this time...? Oh. Right.

He sighed and sat up. He still felt tired, but how is that possible? He went to sleep at like... 7pm? Probably. Jeremy got out of bed and stretched as lyrics from a song softly whispered their melody into his ears. He passed his computer and went straight to his closet to pull out his usual attire. He stood in front of a mirror and glared at his reflection. He took off his shirt to reveal an unhealthy looking frame.

My body's looking wrong...

Jeremy shook his head to dispel the words. It didn't work, he could still hear the lyrics sing their song in his head. He sighed and pulled on his other shirt and gently pulled his cardigan over the bandages on his arms. He pulled on his pants and looked into the mirror again. His eyes looked over his reflection, looking for an inconsistency. His hair was messier than normal. His eyes had dark rings under them and looked more sunken in than normal. Somewhat red as well. He looked paler than normal, but its not like anyone would notice.

Or care. They don't care for you.

Jeremy's eyes widened as both of his hands flew up to his head. That- that sounded like the squip. It can't be back- no, no its not back.

'I'll make it leave. Like always.'

Jeremy pulled a worn down bottle out of his closet with shaking hands and drank some of the contents. It tasted disgusting, but what else do you expect when you mix a mixture of a lot of different hard liquors and a crazy old soft drink? The music died down, but was still there.

Bye bye baby blue, I wish you could see the wicked truth...

Well, at least the voice was gone again.

You can't get rid of me, Jeremy. I will always be here.

Scratch that. Its still there. Jeremy took another swig of the 'medicine'. Disgusting.

It's bad to go to school drunk, Jeremy.

"Fuck off, you can't tell me what to do anymore." Jeremy answered with a raspy voice. Hr rubbed his eyes and splashed some cold water in his face.

Looking better already. Not.

"Thank you for your input now shut the fuck up you weeb floppy disc." Jeremy hissed. He ain't taking none of the squip's shit today, nuh-uh.

He slung his backpack with "BOYF" still written on it over his shoulder and ran down the stairs. He snagged an orange from the fruit bowl before opening the door and leaving.

"Guess dad was still asleep..." he mused. He pulled out his headphones and looked for the playlist.

It wasn't that hard to find, since it's pretty much the only playlist he listens to nowadays. Jeremy sighed as he got onto the bus and hit play. What better way to drown out music than with music? Some people say that you're gonna go deaf by 30 if you listen to music this loud. Hah. 'I'll just kill myself before I go deaf. It's better than living, anyways.' Jeremy thought. He pulled slightly at some loose threads coming out of his cardigan. No one sat next to him for the rest of the ride. Just like always. Jeremy peeled the orange in silence as he listened to song after song. No one bothered him either. That's better than normal. 'I guess.'

He bit into an orange slice as the bus pulled up to school.

Good morning, time to start the day.

Jeremy was the last to get off the bus. He didn't mind much, as long as the driver didn't accidentally drive on with him. Yeah. That happened once.

But whatever.

Jeremy threw away the orange peel and bit into another slice. He stood outside the entrance and ate while he watched the other people pass. At he ate his last slice, he spotted a red hoodie in the small crowd entering the school.

'Fuck'

Jeremy threw away the last piece and mixed himself into the crowd.

Damn. Don't have the guts to talk to the stoned loser, even after 3 months? At least he can't mess up your reputation anymore than you already have.

"Shut. Up." Jeremy growled. He had to admit though, the squip had a point.

Jeremy sighed as he removed the taped up notes from his locker. Probably people telling him they're gonna kill him or that he should commit suicide. Just the usual. But this time, there was a note that looked different.

Probably "go burn in hell" sloppily written.

'Whatever.'

Jeremy opened the note with an eye roll. Probably someone from the play again. Jeremy's eyes widened once he saw the handwriting. 'Oh fucking jesus, it's from Michael!'

Jeremy's heart was pounding. He wasn't sure if he wanted to read the note or not.

It's not like I can stop you.

'That's right.'

Jeremy slowly unfolded the rest of the note:

Yo, Player Two,

Why have you been avoiding me, man? It sucks hardcore. Is it something I did? ...Or is it just me? Am I not good enough anymore?

Tears smudged the letters.

I get it if I'm not. You're a cool guy with tons of friends, why hang out with an old school stoner? Just... you could have told me face to face if you wanted to stop being friends instead of avoiding me. It's like you have that stupid squip again...

The squip feigned being wounded.

Ouch, that hurt!

Say something, man!

Uhh... Sincerely,

Player One.

Jeremy stared at the note wordlessly. Michael... still wants to be friends...? Jeremy could feel a pair of eyes staring at him, so he spun around to see Michael looking at him sadly. Jeremy started to walk over to him, but Michael ran away. Of course, Jeremy followed him but he couldn't catch him. The bell rung and everyone began to file into their homerooms. Good thing Jeremy and Michael are together in first period... right?

'Absolutely not.' Jeremy thought bitterly as Michael threw away his 15th note. Jeremy was running out of paper, so he had to stop.

Just talk to him after class.

'Like I wasn't going to do that.' Jeremy thought with an eye roll. The bell rang shortly afterwards and he hastily stuffed everything into his bag. Jeremy let everyone else out but then cornered Michael and blocked his path. "Michael, I-" "Shut it, Heere." Michael spat. "I saved your ass even though you left me to have a panic attack in a fucking bathroom, and this is the thanks I get?" He shook with fury. "Michael, please, just let me explain-" "Explain what. I already know I'm too lame to hang out with the cool 'lone wolf' Jeremy Heere."

Wow. He's mad.

'Shut up or I'll make you.'

"Michael-" "So tell me," Michael cut Jeremy off again. This time with tears in his eyes. "What do I have to do to make you like me?" Jeremy looked at Michael with wide eyes. "What... no, dude... it's not you..." Jeremy's eyes prickled with tears. "I- I thought that you wouldn't want to be friends with me I- god, Michael, I didn't think you'd still want to be friends with an idiot like me I- fuck, I'm so sorry..." Jeremy choked out. His throat felt tight and his eyes burned. He couldn't summon the courage to look at Michael.

'I did something wrong, I said something bad, he definitely hates me now, why wouldn't he?'

Chill. Try and look up at Michael.

Jeremy let his eyes wander to Michael's face. Guilt was written all across it. Jeremy didn't like that look on his face. He fell onto Michael and hugged him. "Michael, please..." Jeremy didn't know what to say.

Apparently he read Michael's expression wrong.

Michael shoved Jeremy off and stormed out of the room as Jeremy hit the floor.

What...

No...

This isn't... it can't be... real... Michael would never...

Wake up and smell the roses, Jeremy. Michael hates your guts, just like the rest of the school. You shouldn't have made Christine drink the Mountain Dew Red. You would have been better off with me.

Jeremy didn't get up. He laid there. His throat was tight. He could barely breathe. Tears were freely falling and he couldn't stop sniffling even though it burned his lungs. There wasn't a teacher to excuse him. No one came looking for him.

'Who would?' he pondered. Not Michael. Nor Rich. Or Jake. Not Christine. Brooke. Chloe. Jenna. No one. He's not important enough.

Exactly. But turn me back on, and I can change that. I can make it all better.

Jeremy numbly got up. Everything will be better when he reactivates his squip...

He bought a bottle of Mountain Dew and screwed off the cap with shaking hands. This is the right decision... everything will be better...

Jeremy brought the bottle's opening to his lips. No regrets. No going back. No red. No Michael.

'Everything about me is going to be wonderful.'

'Everything about me is going to be so alive.'

*indecipherable screeching* HENLO IT'S YA GRILL FROM THE BMC DISCORD SERVER AND I'M SERVING Y'ALL SOME HEAVY SHIT