AN: I don't own Twilight… but oh if I did…. Hehehe
"…better with a clean break."
I
have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They
crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
"You…don't….want me?
Dropping
little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies
in my head that make a porno feel like home
"No."
There's
a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of
peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
"I will always love you…..in a way…"
And
will you never say that you love me just to put it in my
face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that
wanted space
"But
what happened last night made me realize it's time for a
change…"
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me
for all the things I didn't do for you
"Because
I'm tired of pretending I'm something I'm not…."
Hate
me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally
see what's good for you
"..I'm
not….human…." I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's
one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that
always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
"I'm sorry…."
In
a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at
night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to
stop the fight
You
never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You
made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
October 10th
I hope she's forgotten about me. Able to live her life the way it was meant.. Without me.
So
I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your
mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me
behind
October 22nd
Going crazy would be an understatement. I miss her blush. Her chocolate eyes. Her amazing way to make my non-existent heart jump. I miss her. I love her.
Hate
me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't
do for you
October 31st
Please
take me from this suffering. I can't live without her. But I must.
This way is better for her.. It's safe.
Hate me in
ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see
what's good for you
November 8th
Isabella
Marie Swan. The name will be etched into me for as long as I can feel
pain. I will never forget it. And with a sad heart I say
Kicking shadows on the
street for every mistake that I had made
November 17th
"Us" was a mistake.. But that doesn't mean I'll not always remember how much you meant… MEAN to me.
And
like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your brown
eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
November 25th
I can't do this. This agonizing pain is something I can't stand. Every second since I've left is hell. Pure hell.
And
then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make a smile
come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered
"How can you do this to me?"
December 13th
I'm
sure she's alright now. She's long forgotten about me. She
must've. Please let me know she has. Please. Hate me
today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do
for you
She's
dead. How could I ever think she would be better off without me? I
can't move. Can't blink. This can't be true. But it is. And now
it's time for me to go and be with my love away from this Earth
forever. Together. Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to
swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. when you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."
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R&R Flames encouraged J