Arriving at Nationals for the two days of prep before the competition had introduced the Glee club to a whole new level of obsessive intensity from Rachel. Somehow, she had the scoop on all of the other clubs and took to rattling off facts about them as she saw them.
Noah was kind of amused by her ranting, which had been fairly benign and let her words wash over him like the white noise of Kurt and Mercedes picking apart the clothing choices of their competitors or the gag inducing chatter from Quinn and Finn.
Really, he was just enjoying stealthily eyeing the expanse of thigh visible under the hem of Rachel's microscopic skirt. Since he'd started dating Lauren, ogling had been forbidden and would have earned him a punch in the kidneys, but now that they'd amicably split up it was totally fine to check out some fine little Jewish real estate.
Occasionally, Rachel would catch him, but she never actually demanded he stop looking.
He was drawn back into reality as Rachel suddenly sunk her nails into his arm. "Oh no, that's Trouducul Academy. They have a reputation of intimidation of their opponents through psychological warfare and sabotaging costumes.
A group of smarmy looking preppy shits were wandering across the hotel lobby, making a beeline for the small cluster of New Directions. Amongst performers at Nationals, McKinley's team was far smaller in numbers than average and Trouducul was the largest in attendance.
"They look mean," Finn muttered from where he was standing and Noah tried not to heave a sigh. Finn was a pretty big guy and, if his target was stationary and not really trying to avoid his attacks, he could land a punch. But seriously, Noah had been embarrassed by that week fight at prom.
He had a chat with Jesse later, informing him that if he even thought about hurting Rachel again, that Puck had a Porta Potty with Jesse's name on it. And it wouldn't be an average 'lock someone in and roll it' deal. No, he'd haul that fucker up to the top of a hill and roll it down.
Preferably into a lake. Jesse had looked suitably terrified.
With the enemy bearing down upon them, Noah tossed a glance at Mike, Sam, Lauren and Santana, knowing Mike and Sam would try their damnedest, Lauren could do some damage and Santana usually had some sort of weapon concealed in her hair.
They'd have his back if….
Oh, the fuckers had done their homework. The lead douche bag was lightly tossing an egg into the air and catching it. Noah felt Rachel tense beside him, still suffering egg related trauma from the year before.
"Well, well, look who we have here. New Directions. I hear you're not bad…considering you come from a fly over state," Lead douche mocked, then smirked at Rachel. "Brought you a present."
Then he tossed his egg at her. Fortunately, Noah's little sister had a better arm than Little Lord Douche and his arm shot out, slapping the egg back into the assholes face. The whole of Trouducul gasped and began looking around for a teacher or moderator or someone, but lead douche had made sure there weren't any around for his attempt at egg assault.
Time to nip this shit in the bud.
Stepping forward, Noah ushered Rachel behind himself and felt the others close rank behind him. He was pretty sure he heard Santana crack her knuckles as he got right up into the lead douche's face.
"So, you losers seem to think that you're the shit. Well, I'm here to tell you you're wrong. You can take all your weak ass pranks and attempts at psychological manipulation and just walk the hell on up out of here, cause your even being here clearly tells me you have no fucking idea how crazy I am. What's your plan, itching powder in the costumes or tobassco in the Gatorade? Lame, but potentially annoying, which would require me to exact vengeance. Any of you pussies been in juvie? You wanna see what I learned to do there with a toothbrush? No. Didn't think so. Looking around this room, I can see half a dozen things within 10 feet that I could use to cause you endless grief and mayhem. A fire extinguisher, dude, a maintenance man's cart. That's like my own personal armory. You wanna poke the bear? Do you? Oh, also, I like fire, just something for you to think about. Leaving? Good plan," he snarled, putting on his best 'psycho who wants to chew your bones and suck the marrow out' face and delighting in the rapid deflation of his enemy.
Tails tucked between their legs, the mass of Trouducul students turned around and fled, casting nervous glances over their shoulders as they went. In a half hour, word would have spread to the other clubs that messing with McKinley high was a very, very bad idea.
"Damn," Santana muttered, crossing her arms. "I was almost looking forward to them trying to start something. What's with talking them down, Puck?"
"I think Noah handled that brilliantly!" Rachel said, beaming up at him and taking his arm again. "If there had been a physical altercation, we might have been disqualified, but this way was satisfying and increases the odds that people will not attempt to intimidate us."
Five minutes later, Quinn was still attempting to explain what Rachel had said to Finn and Brittany while Rachel showed Noah a map she had made of sites she thought the club needed to see today.
Yeah, Rachel was crazy, but the crazy had totally grown on him.
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