A/N: Just a little drabble I was thinking on while watching some deleted scenes for Serenity.

Romeo's a Pirate

Summary: Tales of thieves, burning temples and passionate love making. Inara's girls discuss the mystery behind their instructor's 'Romeo', much to her disdain.

"Darling please come closer,
Just start breathing in,
And you do hold me right,
When you gotta get up can't stop dreaming,
Until you're by my side..."

-Unicorn, Eric Crusher ft Chloe

"I bet he's very handsome. I mean, this is Ms. Serra we're talking about. I don't think she'd fall for just any criminal."

"Really? That's not what I heard. Isn't he supposed to be some hideous ogre whom she taught love and compassion? Ms. Serra isn't the type to fall for a man simply for his looks."

"I hear he's tall and rugged looking. He may have been a ruthless murderer, but Ms. Serra couldn't resist his manly charms and she ended up in his arms one drunken night, seeking comfort."

"Apparently, he's outdone any companion when it comes to the bedroom. If that's the case, I can't say I'd blame Ms. Serra. I'd have a man like that for free, too."

"No way. The man's a pirate and a thief. But he's smooth and a certain kind of handsome. Some even claim he's got his very own ship on which he's taken Ms. Serra numerous times! Isn't that exciting? Making love on a ship. What an experience that must be."

"So, he's a captain of his own ship, a thief and a pirate? Do you reckon he's killed a man before?"

"Of course! The man's wanted all over the 'verse. But Ms. Serra warmed his heart. Apparently, he fought for her honor and killed a man for slighting her. How romantic."

"That's a bit extreme. I hear he changed his awful ways in an effort to win her heart."

"Have you heard the story about how Ms. Serra herself participated in a crime scheme?"

"Wǒode tiān! Ms. Serra is way too proper for that sort of thing."

"No, she isn't. Not when it comes to love. She was going to throw away everything, even a chance at becoming high priestess!"

"You really think she'd have turned away from the life of a companion for a criminal?"

"He must have been awfully handsome, in that case."

"I'm telling you, he's hideous!"

"Fèihuà!"

"One time, Ms. Serra had been kidnapped and her brigand lover swooped in to save the day, like a true hero. They say he set the temple on fire, killed every single man who laid a finger on her and then claimed her for himself. They made love right there, on the floor, not even caring that the place was falling apart in flames."

"You can't be serious. There's no way that's true."

"Shì. Everyone's been talking about it. Apparently, one of our new male companions used to study at that temple. He saw the whole thing!"

"Okay so, if this pirate man is such a catch, then why is it Ms. Serra never mentions him?"

"Obviously it's because a love affair like theirs would be forbidden and frowned upon by the Guild."

"Alright. Even if that is true, it still doesn't explain why Ms. Serra is here, working as a companion and an instructor. Shouldn't she be with him on his fancy ship, on the run?"

"Yeah, wouldn't he have an issue with her still taking on clients if she supposedly belongs to him?"

"Well, that's the tragedy. Their circumstances didn't allow them to ever truly be together. So, not wanting to hurt him any further, Ms. Serra broke his heart and left him. Poor guy, he's probably still out there, traveling the 'verse, all lonesome. Hard to compare any other woman to someone like Ms. Serra."

"That makes no sense. A man like that wouldn't let her just get away. Shouldn't he have chased after her?"

"Tiān xiǎode. Some say he still makes visits here, in disguise. Others argue he's already tried to come back and sweep her off her feet only to have Ms. Serra break his heart all over again."

"Don't forget the one where, after she left, he went on a suicide mission and no one ever heard from him again."

"Oh yeah, there's a ton of speculation there. How he found his life held no purpose once he lost her, so he drove his ship into reaver territory, never to be heard from again. I bet he became a reaver, driven mad by it all!"

"Bèndàn, everyone knows reavers aren't real! He's probably just dead. Do you think Ms. Serra knows that?"

"She probably doesn't. She doesn't look too sad."

"A master of illusion, she probably masks her pain."

"That's so miserable."

"At least they will always have the burning temple."

"What?! Cái búshì! You don't know that for sure! Maybe he's still out there, doing his thing, waiting for her to change her mind, to come back to him. Maybe he's just trying to think of the perfect way to win her back!"

"Do you think Ms. Serra will quit for good and trade everything for a life of petty crime if he does come back for her?"

" ...Would you?"

"I guess not."

"But you aren't in love."

"This is real life. Love doesn't exactly pay bills. Maybe they both saw that."

"Can we go back to the part where they had endless, passionate, incredible sex? This is depressing."

"Has anyone ever even laid eyes on this man, besides the new boy?"

"Don't say I told you this but, one of the older girls said that when Ms. Serra had first arrived here, she was dropped off by a firefly vessel."

"You think that was his ship?"

"You know how the story goes: for almost a year, Ms. Serra traveled the 'verse aboard a mystery ship and fell in love with its captain. What was supposed to have been a business transaction winded up being a whole lot more than that."

"More than what?" It was their instructor who walked into the room, a stack of old books in her arms.

She looked at her students curiously before placing the stack onto her desk. The girls exchanged knowing glances and small smiles but none said a word. Inara raised an eyebrow, suspicious. She adjusted the crimson red sari sitting over her delicate shoulder and eyed each female.

"Well?" She folded her arms over chest and awaited an answer.

The girls looked bashful. Some stared at the floor, unable to meet her intense gaze. Others were fighting off smiles and giggles. Inara almost rolled her eyes at the group.

"At this level, I expect better of you girls. Gossip is not becoming of any companion. The sooner you learn that, the better your career will be." She explained.

One of the girls leaned over when Inara's back was turned and whispered to her friend: "I can see it now. She does seem a little sad."

Inara turned immediately and her eyes landed on the perpetrator, Sasha, the youngest in her group. Having been caught, Sasha leaned back into her seat and went as pale as a ghost. Everyone else was doing their best to keep a straight face in front of the instructor.

"What was that, Sasha?" Inara asked.

The girl shook her head, brown curls bouncing.

"Who seems sad? Me? Because I can assure you, I have no reason to be sad." continued Inara, almost laughing at the accusation.

"Now what is this all really about? It's okay, you can tell me. I won't be upset." She pressed.

Sasha brushed her hair behind her ear and looked away when she spoke, "I-It's just that...we were wondering if...you were sad b-because...you knew he was dead."

Inara squinted, not entirely sure what she was hearing.

"If I knew who was dead?"

Sasha twiddled her thumbs and mumbled something inaudible.

Inara leaned forward, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, mèimei."

Sasha spoke up with a timid voice, "The pirate man."

There was a moment of silence while Inara seemed to dwell on this new piece of information. She didn't immediately think of whom it was her student was referring to. None of it made any sense. She stood there, lost in thought, contemplating.

She mouthed the words, "Pirate man...?"

"Way to go, Sasha. Don't you ever know when to stop talking? I mean, we don't even really know if Ms. Serra's crime lord lover is actually dead." It was Noreen who turned in her seat and glared heatedly at a nervous Sasha.

"Shénme?!" Inara cried, almost knocking down the small vase of jasmine on her desk.

All the girls were staring at their hysterical instructor now. Inara's eyes widened upon realizing what it was her students were discussing and her temper flared as a result.

"M-my lover?! What lover?! I don't have a lover! And even if I did, it would most certainly never be that good for nothing hùndàn! Pft, crime lord! Mal is nothing more than an infuriating, petty thief with an ego as big as his ship!" Inara cried defensively, pacing the front of the room.

"I can assure you, none of the stories you've heard are true! Captain Reynolds is anything but charming or romantic! As a matter of fact, that man, he- he's rude, obnoxious, foul-mouthed, disrespectful, reckless, bitter and just downright difficult! The idea of him as some sort of romantic character is completely absurd!" Inara raved.

She laughed then, taking all her girls by surprise.

"Lover...What a load of gǒushí!" She concluded, shaking her head and smiling.

When she turned to face her class, she saw the look of shock all around. Perhaps they weren't used to their prim and proper teacher using such foul language. Inara almost felt humbled when she had gotten all that out of her system and registered their expressions. She cleared her throat and tucked away a stray ebony curl behind her ear.

Just as Inara was ready to start her lesson and forget her little outburst, Vera raised her hand. She seemed hesitant at first but Inara spotted her and said, "Yes, Vera?"

"I don't mean to be rude, Ms. Serra but, is that what you tell yourself so that it doesn't hurt knowing that he's dead? Because, I don't think you should remember loved ones in such a negative light. Shouldn't we focus on the good?" Vera questioned in a calm and assertive manner.

Inara fell quiet for a moment, not really knowing how to answer the question. She could feel her stomach drop at the mention of Mal being dead. The man was always rushing head first into frightening situations and, most of the time, his plans went awry. It wasn't entirely improbable that somewhere along the way, he'd managed to get himself killed. He had almost died many times while she had been on the ship. Who was to say he got away unscathed ever since?

"Why is everyone so convinced that he's dead?" She said aloud.

"If he's such a horrible man, then, why should it matter if he's dead?"

"Companions shouldn't be associating with people like that, anyways."

"When was the last time you even heard from him, Ms. Serra?"

"Don't men like that usually have many women?"

"I think you could find a true man, someone who will treat you much kinder than that thief."

The questions and comments kept pouring in until the girls were practically talking over each other and arguing with one another. Inara stood at the front of the room, listening to it all. Eventually, she had gotten fed up. She stood up and shouted, "Enough!"

All the girls immediately stopped chatting and turned to look up at their teacher. She looked flustered, her breaths coming in heavy and faster than normal. She was leaning against her desk for support.

"Vera's right: When someone passes on, we shouldn't speak ill of them." She started, looking at each and every single girl.

They hung on to her every word, admiring her. Inara had thought it something awful that all the rumors and stories were going around the school. She had found it annoying, hearing about this infamous love affair she once had with Mal. Initially, she had brushed it off, thinking it would disappear with time. But everywhere she went, she was a target for stares and whispers and giggles. It was like everyone knew something about her she didn't even know. Having her very own students corrupted with the stories was the final straw.

But now...

Now, everything she had said sounded a lot worse than the fiction.

And...

And if Mal really was dead...

Because it most certainly was a possibility...

She didn't really want everyone to believe he was everything she had claimed he was.

The girls stared at her, waiting for her to continue. Inara cleared her throat, collected herself, stood up straight and smoothed out her skirts.

"Mal may be reckless and foolish and a criminal, but I...suppose not all the stories are false." She continued, fiddling with her sari.

The girls all leaned forward, wide eyed and listening.

"There's some truth to the one about defending my honor. Thankfully, he didn't kill the man. Mal isn't like that. He isn't merciless." Inara smiled, despite herself.

Present tense: he wasn't dead. He couldn't be.

"Is it true you two made passionate love to one another on the floor of a burning temple after he rescued you from a kidnapping?" Yuki piped up excitedly.

Inara felt her face heat up, "What?! NO!"

"But shouldn't you have rewarded him for his valiant efforts?"

"Is he truly more skilled than a companion in the bedroom?"

"What's he look like? Is he tall and handsome?"

Inara started laughing, "What is with you girls and horrible romance novels? Haven't you been told to stay away from those?"

"Then tell us yours if it's so much better!" Noreen cried excitedly.

Inara bit down on her bottom lip nervously and shook her head, suddenly feeling bashful, "Trust me, there is no romance there. Now, I think we've wasted enough time on this topic. I don't get paid to talk about my life."

Inara smiled to herself when she turned around to prepare her notes.

Who made love in a building that was on fire, anyways?

-fin

A/N: Short, sweet, slightly humorous. It was written more out of fun than anything. Something light hearted, I suppose. Could be seen in a way as Inara's contrast to "Splash of Colour" but not necessarily. Thanks for reading. :)

Wǒde tiān: My God

Fèihuà: Nonsense

Shì: It is

Tiān xiǎode: Heaven knows

Bèndàn: Idiot

Cái búshì: Not even close

Mèimei: Little sister

Shénme: What?

Hùndàn: Jerk

Gǒushí: Dogshit