Disclaimer: Must I repeat this again? Yes. Isn't that pathetic? I just answered my own question. So anyway, I don't own Devi, or Johnny, or any other character I will mention but forgot about. This is to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" by who the heck knows. Enjoy the fun insanity! Wheeee!

The Twelve Dates of Madness, sung by Devi

On the first date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

1.Some pants full of diarrhea

On the second date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

2. 2 smokebomb shoes

and some pants full of diarrhea

On the third date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

3. 3 sharp knives, 2 smokebomb shoes and some pants full of diarrhea

On the fourth date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

4. 4 squirrel food brains, 3 sharp knives, 2 smokebomb shoes and some pants full of diarrhea

On the fifth date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

5. 5 zombie dates, 4 squirrel food brains, 3 sharp knives , 2 smokebomb shoes and some pants full of diarrhea

On the sixth date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

6. 6 months in hiding, 5 zombie dates, 4 squirrel food brains, 3 sharp knives , 2 smokebomb shoes and some pants full of diarrhea

On the seventh date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

7. 7 things to hide from, 6 months in hiding, 5 zombie dates, 4 squirrel food brains, 3 sharp knives , 2 smokebomb shoes and some pants full of diarrhea On the eighth date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

8. 8 reasons I like Nny, 7 things to hide from, 6 months in hiding, 5 zombie dates, 4 squirrel food brains, 3 sharp knives, 2 smokebomb shoes and some pants full of diarrhea

On the ninth date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

9. 9 reasons I hate Nny, 8 reasons I like Nny, 7 things to hide from, 6 months in hiding, 5 zombie dates, 4 squirrel food brains, 3 sharp knives, 2 smokebomb shoes and some pants full of diarrhea

On the tenth date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

10. 10 reasons I hate guys, 9 reasons I hate Nny, 8 reasons I like Nny, 7 things to hide from, 6 months in hiding, 5 zombie dates, 4 squirrel food brains, 3 sharp knives, 2 smokebomb shoes and some pants full of diarrhea

On the eleventh date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

11. 11 cans of mace, 10 reasons I hate guys, 9 reasons I hate Nny, 8 reasons I like Nny, 7 things to hide from, 6 months in hiding, 5 zombie dates, 4 squirrel food brains, 3 sharp knives, 2 smokebomb shoes and some pants full of diarrhea On the twelfth date of madness, my boyfriend gave to me

12. 12 dates of madness, 11 cans of mace, 10 reasons I hate guys, 9 reasons I hate Nny, 8 reasons I like Nny, 7 things to hide from, 6 months in hiding, 5 zombie dates, 4 squirrel food brains, 3 sharp knives, 2 smokebomb shoes and some pants full of diarrhea! * passes out from exhaustion*



A/N: I didn't have the time to re-read EVERY issue of I Feel Sick or JTHM with Devi in it, so don't flame me if my estimates on the numbers are a little off.