Dog Daze of Summer
Note: IZ fan fiction. Alu develops a method of keeping Irken skin safe from the deleterious hazards of water so the two can remain cool and also avoid being detected as "unusual", unless their rivals catch them at the pool, which is unlikely. Also the two lovebirds have brewed their own batch of revenge, but again, the heat impedes them from their ultimate goal.
"If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen."—Old saying
Chapter 1—It's Hot, And You Need a Pool
Alu stared at her television screen inside of her base hollow eyed and panting a bit. Her faithful SIR, Rigel, had gone to the refrigerator to bring her another Mountain Dew in order for her to cool off. In all of her Irken life, Alu could only remember one other time in which she had been so disgustingly hot. She could remember training on one of the many Hobo planets to prepare her for whatever harsh climate (and life forms) she would face in the future. And the Tallest in their wisdom sent her to assist Invader Zim in his conquest of Earth. Of course, none of their plans had worked, even though together with their brainpower united, they were an unbeatable team. They simply were thwarted at every turn, and it would be that way for a long time. Accepting of this fact, Alu had spent her summer like her rival human beings did, watching TV and doing her best to stay cool.
Upon watching a commercial for pools, Alu grumbled. It was difficult enough dealing with the problem of being melted and having her Irken skin singed by the danger of water, but all she wanted to do was take a dip in that inviting water. Then, she developed a stupendous idea. She would create a breathable, yet form-fitting suit that wouldn't allow water in and be able to keep her cool despite the heat.
Sitting down in her laboratory, she began blueprinting the suit and from the start, it seemed as though this plan was coming together stupendously. Before she knew it, she was designing the suit in her computer and the computer created it from her "clone press". This had been initially built to instate a clone army should a martial takeover of Earth become immanent.
Having forgotten about that plan and more concerned with frivolity, Alu rushed to slip the suit on. It was surprisingly comfortable and gave her some added curves.
"I can't wait until my schmoogie sees this…", she thought, with some added seductiveness.
Chapter 2—Showing Off
Alu sported her new suit throughout the neighborhood. It caught some wolf-whistles by the casual bystander, but she was more interested in sporting her new look to her boyfriend Zim.
She rang his doorbell at his base and stood at the door, with a rather sexy pout.
"Hello.", she purred in a throaty trill. Her tone, as well as her dress in and of itself would make any male take notice.
"Well, hel-lo lovely. Hey, did you make that suit ? It really looks stellar on you.", Zim said, complimenting her. Zim usually didn't compliment anyone, except himself, so to compliment her at a time like this was monumental.
"Why thanks.", Alu said, her cheeks fluorescing a bright green. She told him she was going to the pool, and wondered if he could come along.
"You'd have to make one of those suits for me, if that were to happen.", Zim said, knocking on Alu's head. Momentarily she had become empty-headed.
"Oh yeah. Duh !", Alu said, feeling quite idiotic.
Without any hesitation, she created a suit for Zim without any trouble. As for the SIRs GIR and Rigel, they were transfixed by their television. Alu set her Voot Cruiser on "Vespa Mode", which she had recently programmed into the computer's options for 'camouflage'. Zim nearly took notice of Alu's cloning device but before he could speak up about his latest battle plan.
"Come on, the pool's still open !", Alu said, as she yanked him upon the backseat of the newly transformed "Vespa". In a rapid succession, she floored the gas on the 'Vespa' and warped to the public pool in a nanosecond. As soon as they arrived, Zim wondered why there were so few humans there, and they had soon left.
"Looks like we'll have this pool to ourselves soon, Zim.", Alu said, with a huge grin. She then jumped in with a mighty cannonball, causing the water to surge upward and splash Zim, soaking him. He was unharmed by the water's affects. As she had planned after all of the initial water testing and removal of flaws, the suits worked well, and she and Zim decided to swim around for a bit.
Chapter 3—Too Hot For Invasion
Zim was growing parched suddenly, and Alu took immediate notice of her boyfriend's condition. Scrambling to find a soda machine, she bought as many sodas as she could and fished Zim's limp body from the pool. He was slurring his words and she couldn't make any sense of what he was saying to her.
"I think we should go home now…", she said, as she placed the soda cans in a compartment on the side of the cruiser and it locked them in place. Slumping against her, she had to hold him upright to avoid him from slipping and possibly hurting himself. They zapped instantly back home, and only one occasional bystander, a kid who was playing in a sprinkler, noticed the flash. Ignoring it, he continued his jovial frolicking and paid no mind to the disguised aliens walking past him.
After removing the faceguard and mouthpiece to the suits, she zipped the upper hood of the protective plastic down around Zim's head and placed a soda can with a straw underneath it. Since being on Earth for a while, Zim had grasped the concept of drinking through straws without choking himself or sucking down the straw in the process. As soon as he had drank 3 Mountain Dews, Zim felt like himself again. Now he could finally ask Alu about the cloning device she had invented.
"Alu, dear…what were you thinking when you altered that cloning device of yours ?", Zim asked, curiously, with some vehemence. This was the first time he had ever been upset with her, but she had vowed she would share her possible tactics with him once she had set a plan in motion. The whole truth of the matter was, she hadn't really set a plan in motion, yet.
"It still has its original capability.", Alu said, recoiling against Zim's harsh tone.
"THAT WASN'T WHAT I ASKED YOU ! If you don't tell me what's going on, I'll…I'll…Never be seen courting you again. I know there aren't very many female Irkens, but still, compared to the likes of an imbecile like you…", Zim yelled, punching the couch angrily. It had been done so quickly that a small hole had been left in it. The A.I. of the computer automatically repaired the damage as if the mark never had been made. Alu felt crushed by her love's words. He had never spoken to her in such a way, but she had a feeling that someday this might possibly happen.
"I already told you, Zim…I haven't had a chance to use the Duplicator as I have wanted yet. The heat is making it hard for me to think…", Alu said, trying not to cry in front of him. He didn't really want to speak to her any longer.
"Give me a memo once you do, Alu. I will make my OWN cunning plan, and we'll SEE who rules this puny rock !", Zim said, laughing manically as he left. He then realized how truthful Alu had been about the weather. It was horribly torrid. The 'cunning plan' would have to wait.
Chapter 4—Fatal Chink in the Armor
Once Alu's cloning machine was reverted to its original function, Zim had pressed the button and rubbed his hands together greedily.
"Finally, at long last, Irken rule can begin !", he shouted, laughing manically. No sooner had the clones been given their commands to start usurping possessions and converting humans into Irken slaves that they had begun sweating thanks to all of the excess heat.
"Can't conquer. Can't seize. Too hot. Can't breathe.", the clones said, rhyming unintentionally.
"No ! No, no, no, NO ! You will do as we command you to !", Alu said, annoyed with the copies of herself. She hadn't given them a free-will feature, so she didn't know why they were rebelling against her. Zim gave Alu an irritated look and crossed his arms.
"Apparently, they're not going to listen to either one of us…", Zim said, stating the glaringly obvious trouble that they had gotten themselves into. Not only had they unleashed a set of namby pamby clones, but they were stuck with them.
The heat wasn't letting up anytime soon, and the clones were becoming whinier than usual. Not only that but they had become more demanding as well.
"We're going to have to shut them off !", Zim whispered to his love telepathically.
"No how do you wager we do that ? There is no 'off switch' to speak of. The only default I made was programmed into the system as a total system malfunction. I have to speak the audio code to initiate it.", Alu said.
"Make it quick, they're starting to look amorous.", Zim said shakily as he noted how lustfully the clones were eyeing him and wanting to cuddle him, kiss him and squeeze every inch of life out of him.
Quickly Alu flipped herself over the clones, landing perfectly in her mechanical chair in front of the large console.
"Computer. Initiate Code Zero-One-Alpha-Phi-Pie R Squared.", Alu said steadily.
"Code accepted, initiating full total system malfunction.", the computer alerted. Instantly, all the clones turned into nothing more than DNA soup and hover-vacs came to suck up the remaining mess.
"That's rather…efficient.", Zim added, with an impressed whistle.
At least for now, the clones were no trouble, but then again the invaders were back to the drawing board.
Chapter 5—Give In To the Power of Vacation
"Now what do we do, Alu ?", Zim asked, becoming bored rather quickly. Still sitting in front of the TV transfixed with a hollow, blank look was Rigel, who was usually smarter than the usual SIR. But something about the TV was too much of a magnet to her and she never could overcome its mystical powers. Alu groaned and yanked on her antennae in a sign of desperation.
"I really don't know…", she said, feeling hopeless. Zim stroked her hand.
"We all get creative blocks, even the geniuses in the universe.", Zim said, smooching her unexpectedly. That caused her grief to quickly melt away.
"Yes, schmoogie, I understand that, but I really want to conquer this planet. I want the both of us to be recognized by the Tallest and the entire Irken regime for the conquerors that we are !", Alu said, pounding her fist into her hand with some irritation. Just then, over the television was a commercial for a Caribbean cruise.
"Now that looks like it would be enjoyable. And who says invaders can't take a vacation ?", Zim said, with a mischievous sparkle in his red eyes. Alu was surprised at this change in mood with Zim, but seeing as they didn't have any other options and it would be too easy to overtake the humans in their current condition. And with the possibility of making new clones, the heat would be too much for them to take or operate in. Either way, what the Tallest didn't know wouldn't hurt them.
Chapter 6—Sippin' Mai Tais on the Beach
No sooner had Alu and Zim been enjoying their leisurely rest and relaxation when Zim remembered something. He grumbled to himself. He had forgotten to put GIR on 'autopilot' like Alu had smartly done for Rigel. She could handle herself, though the hotter weather made her pretty dumb. It must've been some kind of flaw in the SIR units because it also had the same effect on GIR, but GIR was already screwy to begin with, so it was hard telling if the heat was an improvement or not.
"You know, I just recently remembered something.", Zim said, looking quite miffed. Alu could already sense it was something rudimentary and didn't want to anger him further.
"Will you be back when you're done ?", Alu asked, inquisitively.
"Yeah, yeah…I'm taking the cruiser. No worries…", Zim said. But, being that he didn't have his cruiser properly maintained as he should have (the heat had caused him to be stupider than usual), his cruiser had fallen into the sea half-way. With the calmness of a trained soldier, Alu quickly suited up in her bio-cover and rescued Zim before the water could eat away at his flesh.
Luckily, Zim hadn't sustained any damage and thanks to the medical skills that Alu possessed, Zim was given treatment and started to awaken.
"Where am I ?", he asked, groggily.
"Back in the tropics, on the beach. You were going to take a trip back home, but seeing the condition your Voot cruiser is in…I think I'll have to make modifications. No matter, a little grease never killed anyone…", Alu said, fishing the battered cruiser out of the water and dragging it along the shore. Oddly, none of the tourists or the locals took into account that a space-cruiser had just been pulled ashore.
After fixing the cruiser and putting it on 'cloak mode' (it turned into a giant pig balloon once more, if that wasn't inconspicuous enough), the two of them had decided they had experienced enough of the tropics and they should be returning home, only to be probed by the Tallest questions.
Epilogue
The two invaders were given heck over 'playing around' on the tropics thanks to a slip of Alu's tongue. Needless to say, Zim was a bit perturbed, but he couldn't stay mad at Alu for some reason. That adorable little pout of hers just made it more difficult to say anything to make her feel worse. Besides, he had fallen prey to the concept known as love, so he couldn't help but remain captive to its embrace. Even though he had failed thanks to love, and now because of the heat, it didn't mean he was going to give up. Certainly this meant he and Alu would have to return to the drawing board once again when it came to conquering Earth, but thankfully it would take some time before they ever conquered our world, if at all.
The End