Just a random little drabble. Let me know what you think, please :)
The first time Rachel visits Quinn in the hospital is after the accident. Quinn is a delicate, wispy thing, all jagged cuts and blooming bruises. Rachel doesn't have words adequate enough so while her mind shouts she just quietly and very, very gently, takes Quinn's pale hand in hers and squeezes, seeing the blue of Quinn's veins trough translucent skin, the IV, all the wires, the heart monitor.
Contradictions. Reminders of how alive Quinn is and of how close she was to dying.
She leans and presses a kiss to Quinn's forehead, wants to whisper encouragement in her ear. Doesn't.
Eyelids flutter and a hand timidly squeezes back.
It's a lot of work, from there. For a long time Quinn can't walk and for a long time after that she stumbles.
Every day she squeezes Rachel's hand back harder.
The second time Rachel visits Quinn in the hospital is a Tuesday that feels like a Monday and there are cuts on Quinn's skin that are not from an accident, that are there very deliberately and very on purpose.
Quinn is all sharp bones and unhappiness, and when Rachel kisses her forehead her eyes open and stare. They stare at Rachel, they stare out the window, they stare at her wrists, her thighs, her stomach.
It's maybe in this moment that Rachel realizes how important Quinn is to her. She realizes this in the way her eyes tear when she thinks of how unhappy Quinn is, in the way she almost desperately wants nothing more than to bring those dead irises back to life.
Everything has a whole new meaning, now.
"I'm sorry," is what Quinn says. And also, "I think I love you."
Later that year Rachel touches Quinn reverently, trying to convey things like be careful and stay. She traces all of Quinn's scars with soft fingertips and the way Quinn touches her in return is with appreciation and says things like I've found a reason to live.
The third time Rachel visits Quinn in the hospital is on a weekend. Quinn had been going out too much and Quinn hadn't worn a coat and Quinn has pneumonia and a 104 degree fever. Quinn gets sick a lot and very easily, since the accident, and many times Rachel gets a phone call from Quinn's roommate. This is the first time it has landed Quinn in the hospital since they've gone away for college. It is not the first time Rachel has made the drive to New Haven.
Once Rachel is sure that Quinn is going to be alright, once she sees that tired smile and those bright hazel eyes she shakes her head and kisses Quinn's forehead and brushes wispy blonde locks away from her face.
"You scared me, baby." Her voice is hushed and her lips are pressed right up against Quinn's ear, because Quinn had insisted for Rachel to climb up into the hospital bed with her.
Quinn's smile is blinding and reassuring and everything Rachel needs. "Don't be scared. I'll never go away from you. I promise."
The fourth time Rachel visits Quinn in the hospital is a Thursday morning at 6 am and Quinn's grip has never been so tight.
There are so many screams.
There is a lot of crying and Rachel's kisses this time mean (like all the other times) I'm so proud of you.
The baby is a delicate, wispy kind of thing.