Short College!AU setting: Friendship Thilbo
Thorin watched the young man in the corner of the library, sipping some tea as he flipped through the pages of a very old book. The older college student had seen him in the library for days on end, reading a large book in the corner of the quiet area. And as many times as Thorin wanted to approach him, he just knew that the young man wouldn't want to talk to him. Of course, Thorin had heard rumors that the young man hated everyone in the school; he had no real friends. He was bullied every single day but never said a word about it; in fact, he hardly ever talked. Thorin had a few classes with him at the start of term, and the young man had not willingly talked once; it was only when he was called on did a rambling stutter fly out of his mouth. To be honest, Thorin and his friends had laughed at the young man when they heard that hurried voice, and Thorin had felt bad when tears came to the man's eyes and he ran from the room in embarrassment. Now, Thorin had been following the young man for days, watching him to see if what everyone was talking about him being antisocial was true. And for the past few days, the older student had only seen this man exchange small conversations between the librarian and no one else.
Sighing to himself, Thorin closed the book of Ancient Empires and headed toward the young man in the chair, prepared to talk to him. Thorin took his place on a chair at a table beside the young man. He cleared his throat. Nothing happened. He cleared it again and scooted closer to the edge of the chair, hoping to catch the younger man's eye.
The young student looked up from his book, his face expressionless.
Thorin smiled at him and was pleased when the young man smiled back. He opened his mouth to speak, but the younger man went back to his book and Thorin let out a breath. "Um..." he began slowly. "What are you reading?" he asked, trying to see the cover of the book.
"The Ancient World," came the quiet answer that Thorin barely heard.
"Interesting," he hummed. "Do you like that subject?"
The young man nodded, his eyes glued to the paper in front of him.
"My name's Thorin," he said, trying to start a conversation with the other. "What's yours?"
"Bilbo," came the answer.
Thorin nodded to himself. "Bilbo," he repeated. "That's a nice name."
No answer.
"Do you have that history class at ten o'clock in the center campus?" Thorin asked, having remembered seeing someone that looked like Bilbo there.
The young student nodded.
"Do you like that class?"
Nodded again.
Thorin watched the other closely. Bilbo's eyes were skimming the page at incredible speed, his mouth occasionally forming into a smile. "So, are you a freshman?" he asked, placing his own book on the table as he turned completely around to face the younger man.
Bilbo nodded.
"Do you like it here at the university?"
Bilbo nodded again.
"Am I bothering you?" Thorin asked, afraid that his friends had been right that this student was not sociable.
Bilbo shook his head and glanced up from his book. "No," he spoke for the first time in a good five minutes. "I like company," he said, a small smile appearing on his face.
"But yet, you don't talk?" Thorin observed, sitting forward in his chair.
"I know," said the small voice. "I have known that all my life. I don't need you pointing it out."
Thorin looked taken aback. All he said was a single sentence. What had gotten this man so tensed up? "I'm sorry," he said. "Forgive me for making you upset. I do not know you. It was not my place to assume such things."
Bilbo looked at the older student and smiled softly. "It's alright," he said, slowly returning to his book.
Thorin sat there in the awkward silence between them and sighed quietly. He kept glancing at Bilbo to see if the other would talk, and when the younger man didn't, Thorin stood to retrieve his binder and paper as he prepared to write a research paper.
Bilbo watched Thorin as he left, his heart sinking a little. "Why is it I can never talk to anyone?" he asked himself, tearing up a little. "Why am I so quiet? Why can't I be normal...?" He sighed heavily and put his book down on the small table in front of him before curling up in the small couch, his head resting on his hands. He sighed again and let one tear fall from his eyes. "Why do I do this...?" he asked himself, sniffling a bit. He closed his eyes for a mere minute before he heard someone sitting down beside him. Opening his eyes, Bilbo saw Thorin sit down at the table. "What...?"
"Came to work on my research paper," Thorin replied, an easy smile to his face.
"I... I didn't drive you off?" Bilbo asked quietly, sitting up and watching Thorin take out a sheet of lined paper.
"Drive me off?" Thorin asked as if he thought Bilbo was joking. "How on earth would you drive me off?"
Bilbo sighed again. "I don't talk," he confessed. "People walk away from me because I don't know what to say to them. I can't carry out conversations because I don't know how to answer. I didn't talk to you because I was scared I would say something wrong and you'd go away. People don't sit with me. I like company. I like to feel like I'm normal. I like to listen to people, but they leave because I don't talk to them. I don't hate people. I never have..." Bilbo sighed tearfully. "I just don't know how to fit in is all..."
Thorin nodded through Bilbo's confession and gave the younger man a smile at the end of it. "I hear you," he said. "Just be yourself. I'm sure anyone would accept you for just being who you are."
"You don't get it," Bilbo said, a tear falling down his cheek. "I am myself. I don't do anything. I don't talk. I don't smile. This is who I am. I have known nothing else."
Thorin watched the younger man begin to cry. "I..." he began, at a loss of what to say. "I don't understand, but that doesn't mean I won't try. Bilbo?"
The younger student looked up, tears falling from his emerald eyes.
"What is it that you fear?" Thorin asked, putting his pencil down.
Bilbo looked away and began to talk in a scratchy voice. "I fear not making friends," he said quietly. "I fear losing them if I get any. I fear I will drive them away."
Thorin nodded and faced Bilbo. "Well, do I count as a friend?"
"I hardly know you," Bilbo replied, wiping his eyes.
"But I want to get to know you," Thorin confessed, a smile to his face. "You sound so interesting. I have never met anyone like you, and I'm sure behind those walls, there is a wonderful person there just waiting to come out."
Bilbo smiled brightly at Thorin, though his eyes were focused on Thorin's nose because he couldn't make eye contact. "Thank you," he said. "I... no one's ever said that to me..."
Thorin grinned and pulled out the chair beside him. "Help me with the research paper?" he suggested, wiggling his eyebrows.
The younger man nodded and sat down next to Thorin with his own book on the table. "What is your paper about?" he asked, wiping the remaining tears from his eyes.
"Ancient Empires," Thorin replied.
"Which one?" Bilbo asked.
"What do you mean?"
Bilbo did a face-palm. "I mean you have to narrow your search. Are you doing China? Rome? Carthage? India? Which one?"
Thorin rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I... don't know?"
"What was your assignment?" Bilbo asked, and Thorin handed him a paper. Bilbo read it quickly and shook his head at Thorin. "What does the paper say?" he asked, patiently waiting for Thorin to read it.
"Uh... Students are to read Ancient Empires and pick one of four empires: Roman, Ottoman, Maurya, and Qin," Thorin read aloud. "Students must choose at least one empire to span over a minimum of fifteen pages..." Thorin gaped.
Bilbo nodded to himself. "You didn't read the paper did you?"
Thorin kept quiet and continued, "Fifteen pages, Bibliography, and printed sources are due on May 22 of this year. Students who hand in paper late will be given no credit and will flunk the class."
Bilbo wasn't sure if Thorin could close his mouth again. "Are you okay?" he asked hesitantly.
"Uh huh..."
"May 22nd," Bilbo said, pondering the thought. "That's like in what... four weeks?"
Thorin nodded, his eyes still glued to the paper. "H-how... h-how... fifteen!"
Bilbo nodded. "Yep," he said.
"H-how many are you doing?" Thorin asked, finally regaining his composure.
"Two," Bilbo replied. "Six-and-a-half pages each."
"Well... four weeks you say?" Thorin asked and Bilbo nodded. "Um... can you help me get started...?"
"I'll help you," Bilbo said, nodding happily. "But I won't write your entire paper."
Thorin chuckled. "Fair enough," he said with an easy smile.
For the next four weeks, Bilbo and Thorin met in the library, their dorms, and the courtyard to work and exchange ideas for the research paper. With each day, Thorin saw the light in Bilbo's dark eyes shine through and the younger man's smile grow. He was happy Bilbo was able to feel normal. Thorin knew the change wouldn't be easy, and there were some days when Bilbo was completely quiet and would occasionally mumble a few words to Thorin. Needless to say, the older student didn't press the matter. Instead, Thorin treated Bilbo the same as he would everyday, with care and compassion. Sure, there were a days when Thorin was walking on eggshells to not get Bilbo upset or make his mood worse. Some days, Thorin barely talked and Bilbo felt awful about his own behavior. Once in a while, Bilbo would walk into Thorin's dorm with tears in his eyes and Thorin tried everything he could to make those tears go away. He still didn't understand why Bilbo had to live this way, but he knew he was never going to stop trying to understand.
The time came when the research paper was due. Bilbo handed in eighteen pages while Thorin turned in sixteen pages. Both, especially Thorin, were so relieved to have the paper done and over with.
"Thanks," Thorin said, after class let out and he and Bilbo were walking to the library. "I owe you sometime."
Bilbo smiled and looked down as he walked past a group of people. "Your welcome," he said in a light voice. "Where are going?" he asked, noticing Thorin was following him.
"To the library," the other replied with a small smile to his lips. "I was thinking maybe we could discuss the next assignment."
"You mean your next assignment?" Bilbo laughed.
A wide grin split Thorin's face when his friend let out a true laugh. "Well... yeah," he said. "I need help on English and you passed it last semester."
"But if I help you," Bilbo began, raising his eyebrows as Thorin handed him a stack of papers. "... woah... This is a lot of papers."
"I'm halfway done," Thorin answered.
"Half... half... halfway?!" Bilbo squeaked. "This is halfway?"
Thorin nodded. "Yep," he said. "Do you think you could help me?"
Bilbo grumbled for a bit before nodding. "Fine, friend," he said. "I'll help you."
"Thank you," Thorin said, smiling brightly. "Say, do you want to go to the sorority party tonight?"
Bilbo frowned. "Wh-why are you... asking me this...?" he asked hesitantly.
"Because your my friend," Thorin replied simply. "And I wanted to show everyone that Thorin Oakenshield, the rich-bossy-not-very-bright student that he has met an honest friend." He watched Bilbo for a reaction. "Now, before you say 'I don't do well with a lot of people' or 'I prefer to be alone and you know it', I just wanted to tell you that you can come with me and we'll go and spend a few minutes there and leave."
Bilbo shook his head and Thorin's heart sank. "I-I guess I can try to go... I-if you promise I stay with you, then I'll stay the whole time," he said confidently, making eye-contact with Thorin for the first time.
No words could describe how much Thorin wanted to pick Bilbo up and squeeze the living daylights out of him; the stubborn student was extremely happy that his friend would tough out a party just for him. "Thank you, Bilbo," Thorin said, slowly moving closer to Bilbo. "I... I... I don't want to seem too forward, but... I'm really, really happy you're going. Um... could I..."
The younger student stopped walking and Thorin repeated the action. Bilbo stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Thorin's broad chest; the young man didn't do hugs and he wasn't a hugging sort of person, but Thorin was the only true friend he had and Bilbo wouldn't let his issues get the better of him.
A/N:
I have written this story on behalf of myself and what I go through everyday. Most who know me don't believe it, but I am definitely antisocial. I get angry easily. There are certain sounds that I can't stand. I get so irritated by noises that I completely turn red and turn to violence. It's just something I have to live with. Honestly, I didn't know I was different until I was in the eighth grade and I noticed I wasn't like other students. I didn't talk. I hardly smiled. I had a few friends, but we mostly fought because my private issues got in the way. I don't know what to do. Everyday is a struggle to understand that I'm not the same as anyone else. I have a form of autism. I don't know how socialize. I am a different person online. If you met me in person, I wouldn't know how to start a conversation. I wouldn't answer you because I don't know what to say. I make people go away because I don't talk. They see me and not anyone else and they walk away. It didn't used to hurt me, but now it does. I get people saying "it'll pass" "you'll be fine" "I understand" "I go through it too"... and I think "no you don't go through it. You have many friends because your outgoing and sociable. I don't because I'm not like you". My aunt once told me to be myself after a week we spent together. I wanted to tell her that that person she spent a week with was myself. I don't act any other way. I am withdrawn from the world. I don't want to be, and it's not my intention. It's just something I have the rest of my years to get through and hopefully change. I turn to mimicking other people's behavior. I am a copycat. I'll admit it, but that's how I learn to socialize as well as I can. What I know is that I love to make people laugh. I cheer them up in their worst problems. I am very intelligent. I am going to pursue my dream of building engines for hybrid cars. I love to help people because it makes me happy that someone is looking to me for help and guidance through something they don't understand. But after the help is over, I go back to the way I was...
I know I'm very different, and I am not writing this to get sympathy. I'm writing this because there are people out there that feel this way, and I just want to make myself known that I am one of those people and I understand.
Thanks for reading this, and I hope this doesn't stop you from reading my stories or judging me. I always love to see views, follows, favorites, and reviews that my stories get. It makes me happy. It makes me forget about this problem I have. Writing is my savior. And I don't think I would be alive without it.
Heart you all who understand and won't stop reading! And never say never! (from The Fray)
- IheartOakenshield193712