Rodolphus

Bellatrix and I are lying half-naked on a king size bed in the Room of Requirement. She's wearing only a bra and her school uniform skirt and I'm wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. The only thing more arousing than the thrill of almost being caught sneaking in here is the fact that the most beautiful girl in the entire world is straddling me right now and kissing every part of my body she can access.

She whispers my name a few times between quick, wet kisses along my neck and shoulders. Merlin, I want her! But, now that I think about it, I already have her. For a moment, for this moment, she's mine. It's my name she's saying, no one else's.

It won't always be this way though. Which is why I'm savoring this moment, taking in every detail. Because, as soon as we finish here, she'll go back to abusing me, alternatively mocking me and pretending that I don't exist. Until she decides she wants to "reward" me again, that is.

And I don't care, because I'm addicted to her and not just sexually. I'll take whatever she gives me and make it last as long as possible and then hungrily await my next fix. Does she know how much I love her? Her torture would have killed me long ago if it wasn't for that love.

Smirking at the expression of desire on my face, Bellatrix repositions herself, deliberately dangling her cleavage in my face. She likes this. This torturously slow foreplay, making me nervous, making me sweat, making me beg her. She likes controlling me and I like her controlling me. I do... Well, I'm trying to convince myself I do.

Quietly, I say her name aloud, somehow making it sound casual and not desperate. She places an oddly gentle kiss on my lips and moves back to her original position. "Let's play a game," she flashes me the smile I can't resist. "It's called 'Bellatrix has control.'"

Most of her games have more imaginative names than that. I tell her it isn't a game, it's an unquestionably true statement. She traces one of her sharp fingernails down my cheek and says she wishes all of her toys were as easy as I am. I respond saying I wish she wouldn't mention her other toys when she's with me. I'd tell her that I hate being called easy or a toy, but that wouldn't do any good. I think she'd just laugh at me.

"How shall I reward you?" She asks with an overly-dramatic seductive tone. I want to tell her she doesn't owe me anything, but I'm feeling a little selfish right now. I've been doing all of her homework for the past month now, it's about time she pays me back somehow. And if this is how she wants to do it, then I have no complaints.

"Whatever you want to do," I answer, making a worthy effort at sounding calm.

"Why do you always make this so difficult, Rod," she pouts. "You're a man. There's only so many things you could want from a girl like me."

That's not true. Normally, I'm happy just being in her presence, with her having dinner with me or giving me even the briefest, most innocent kisses. Normally, anyway... For now though, it's just cruel of her to have built up all this desire in me with no apparent intention of satisfying it anytime soon. I can't say that though, she'd kill me. I can't think of anything to say that isn't completely pathetic, so I remain silent.

She smiles in her usual conspiratorial way, making me lie still in willing helplessness as she tugs off my last piece of clothing. She sits down on her knees beside me. Then she leans over, starting at my neck again and slowly kissing her way down my bare chest and licking up random drops of sweat as well.

With every kiss, lower each time, she's making it harder and harder for me to breathe properly. I can't help it, I let out a moan in the form of her name. I want her so much it hurts, and I don't just want her now, I need her.

"Trixie!" I groan.

She pauses, placing a warm kiss just above my navel then continues. She stops again after a few more seconds, sitting up to meet my eyes for a moment. Her face is flushed in excitement and her mouth is open, but it looks like there's something she wants to say first. "Rod," she whispers dreamily, "I love you so much."

And that's when I know it's a dream. I realized it before, but I'm pretty good at being in denial. There were other indications, like the fact that Bellatrix didn't object to me calling her Trixie, or the fact that she has never given me oral sex, and that I would never ask her to. I didn't think till now how amazing that would feel.

It's interesting, even in my dreams, even in my fantasies, I still let her torture me, I still want her to, I still love it when she does. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. Of course, that fantasy would never happen. I don't care about that. But, her saying she loved me... I'd give anything for that part to be real.

I wake up sweating. I'm wearing the very same boxers she removed in the dream. Bellatrix is curled up next to me on our couch, wearing her same outfit from my dream plus her unbuttoned white school shirt. She's panting and I can see a few drops of sweat forming along her hairline. I kiss her forehead but decide not to wake her. Still, I can't help wondering what she's dreaming about.