Title:Wanted

Author: Inclined

Rating:PG

Genre:Shades of angsty drama.

Pairing: Otalia

Disclaimer: Before I get to the summary—be careful, those of you spoiler-free people! This fic was inspired by a spoiler for the week of June 8th!

Standard Disclaimer: Proctor and Gamble, blah blah blah, not mine, theirs, blah blah blah, don't try to sue me or anything. Cool?

Summary: Olivia seeks out Natalia to confess a transgression and share a realization.

Author's Notes: This is my first Otalia fic. I found myself up in arms about one of the spoilers, and then I was inspired to mold a possible problem to the lovely benefit of Otalia fans. Let me know what you think!

Word Count: 1,752

Wanted

Her headlamps illuminated the gravel road in a flash in a great sweeping haste. She had sped to the farmhouse, screeched the car to a halt in the driveway, and leapt from the driver's seat. As soon as her feet were on the ground, though, Olivia realized that she had been foolish to rush. She was not in a hurry to have this conversation.

He hadn't even been that great of a help. Realizing your car isn't going to start is never really a good thing, but she did have her cell phone with her, after all. All Josh had really done was save her an inconvenience. He had been kind enough to try to jump her car, and then knowledgeable enough to know that a quick exchange of a spark plug would do the trick when the time with the jumper cables seemed to have been in vain. Voila. Wham, bam, thank you, sir.

Why had he stuck around? Why had she continued to indulge the inane conversation—especially when, Olivia admitted ruefully, she knew that look. The one that pretends to be flirty but reeks of desperation. She remembered that final look of lust in his eyes as he leaned in and she closed hers. Why had she done that? Dammit!

She knew why. For months she had been so good. She had prided herself on her will and self control. But her nerves were fraying. She knew Natalia loved her, certainly. But for one quick, artificial second Olivia knew that Josh wanted her. Old habits die hard sometimes. In the instant that she closed her eyes, though, his lips were against hers and the coarse whiskers on her face were scraping against her chin and it was nothing like the softness that Olivia had spent too many hours fixated upon. Her eyes flew open and pushed Josh away.

He had almost blushed. She thanked him curtly. They parted ways awkwardly, Olivia peeling away, her heart pounding. She had to say something. She steered away from The Beacon. This couldn't be a secret. It wouldn't be. It had been so stupid, but now everything was so clear. She had to come clean, she had to be forgiven, she had to make a promise.

The sense of urgency returned. Olivia practically sprinted to the door. It was almost too dark to see, but she knew where she was going. Her heels made two neat knocks against the wood of the patio as two strides carried her up the stairs and to the door. She began pounding on the door with her fists, trying to mute her knocks so as not to wake Rafe. "Natalia!" she hissed. "Natalia!"

The door finally opened. "Olivia?" Natalia's doe-like eyes were wide with fear. "What happened? Are you okay?"

Olivia briskly wound herself out of her jacket and wrapped it clumsily around Natalia's shoulders, dragging the startled woman outside. "My car broke down," she panted, leading Natalia to the porch swing. Halfway there, Natalia planted her feet and would not budge.

"What on earth are you going on about?" she demanded. "Olivia, Rafe is asleep, and we both have work tomorrow. Can't we talk about this—"

"I wouldn't have come here if I thought this could have waited," Olivia said evenly. "I have to talk to you." Natalia softened before Olivia's words had left her mouth, melted by the plea in her eyes.

"What happened?" she asked. Her pupils were so wide and black in the dark that Olivia could only see a tiny rim of brown surrounding them. She welled up with love that multiplied itself by the awe it inspired in Oliva. That's what the tiniest parts of Natalia were able to do to her. None of this made the words Oliva fumbled to collect any easier to piece together.

"My car broke down. It wouldn't start. Josh happened to be driving by, he saw me with the hood up, and he stopped. He fixed it. He knew what to do."

"Well, thank goodness for that," Natalia breathed.

"I wouldn't rush right into the thanks just yet. Because then we stood around for this strangely forced conversation and the only good thing was the way he was looking at me, which as it turns out, was not really a good thing at all, and I knew that. I swear I knew that, and I was so stupid, it just felt good to be looked at like that, even when it meant that he kissed me—that—well, we kissed."

Olivia paused to take a breath. Natalia searched her eyes for some kind of conclusion to the story that would take away the sinking feeling in her stomach, but Olivia only gazed at her shamefully. Natalia stepped quietly over to the porch swing and sat down. She felt utterly deflated.

"Why would you do that?" Natalia asked in a small voice.

Olivia moved over and sat a safe distance from Natalia on the swing. "Well, that's kind of a stupid question, isn't it? I mean—"

"I don't think you're in any place right now to be calling my questions stupid. In fact—" Natalia's eyes started to flash defensively.

"No—please—listen—that's not what I mean. I know what happened was ridiculous. And I didn't mean to hurt you, but I will never, ever, ever, do that again, I can promise you, but please let me tell you why."

In all of her hurt, Natalia folded her hands briefly, a quick and silent prayer for strength. "Finish what you have to say."

Olivia arched an eyebrow in mild surprise at Natalia's calm demeanor and continued. "I knew how wrong it was instantly—it felt wrong. And I don't just mean that it was the wrong thing to do, I mean that I knew with absolute certainty that I could never kiss anyone the way that I imagine kissing you."

Natalia broke eye contact and looked away. Olivia felt compelled to bring her back into the moment, to make her listen. There had been a revelation! Natalia had to hear it, had to understand the person that she had become because of Natalia. She scooted boldly next to Natalia and took her hands, cradling them in her own.

"The only reason I gave in for that fraction of a second was because I could see that Josh wanted me. There was just a simple physical want there, and I'd missed what that felt like."

Natalia shot Olivia a wounded glare that blurred Olivia's vision as she felt the tears sting the corners of her eyes.

"Please listen," Olivia continued again, choking back her tears. "Because I understand now. Natalia… I love you. I am ready to spend the rest of my life with you and in whatever way you wish. And if that means that we live out our days hand in hand and never beyond that—I accept that. More than that, I will love the life that we choose as long as I get to spend it with you."

Natalia studied the earnest expression on Olivia's face. Olivia waited for some kind of reply—condemnation, forgiveness, scripture, dismissal, something. When Natalia's voice finally cut through the sounds of the crickets chirping in the distance, Olivia was a little taken aback.

"Do you think that I don't want you?"

"Uh… what?"

"You act like my values come easily to me. Well, they don't, Olivia. It's not easy to resist you or your advances. Especially when you don't even know you're making advances. Like you just can't help being as brashly charming as you are, or like you don't know how much attention you get between the hem of your pencil skirts and the end of your stilettos. Or when you look at me, or when you smile, and it would be so easy to just let one thing lead to another."

If Olivia had ever had trouble restraining herself before, it was nothing compared to the passion she could feel rising within her now. And now Natalia had stopped talking, and had drawn her hands against her cheeks, probably to hide her blush, Olivia thought coyly.

"I didn't know you felt that way," Olivia admitted admiringly.

Natalia turned and stared her down pointedly. "When I said that I wanted to take the time to do this right, I didn't mean that I wasn't ready for you. I mean that I wasn't ready for a step that will mean so much to me. And you know what?" Natalia leaned slowly into Olivia's arm and carefully pulled a few strands of hair away from the woman's ear. "It will be worth it," she whispered.

Olivia closed her eyes and she felt Natalia's breath trace from her ear to her cheek, and then the soft, plush press of lips landing just shy of her own. Shivers ran down her spine and came to a warm, full rest deep within her. She opened her eyes as she felt the weight on the swing shift. Natalia was up and halfway back to the door by the time Olivia had regained her senses. As much as she could, anyway.

"It means a lot that you would be willing to lead a celibate life for me, Olivia, but I don't think that is going to work out for either of us." When she reached the door, Natalia put her hand around the doorknob, opened the door a crack, and then paused thoughtfully. "Olivia… come here," she said in a low voice.

Olivia swallowed hard and went to Natalia obediently. Natalia's eyes slowly breathed in Olivia from her heels all the way to her eyes. She stopped there, and tilted her chin upwards.

"You're off the hook this time because I love you. But—you ever think about straying again and Springfield will see a double-murder." Natalia hid her smile at Olivia's awe-struck expression. "Text me to let me know you made it back to The Beacon safely."

With a flip of her dark hair she was inside and the door closed behind her. Olivia stood dumbly on the porch for a few more seconds before walking slowly back to her car. She could still feel the echoes of Natalia's kiss on her cheek. She would have been willing to wait forever for even that seemingly small gesture; she reveled at the affirmation that it was only the beginning.

Natalia wanted her. She wanted Natalia.

That was all she wanted.