Title: Siriusly Anonymous
Disclaimer: I siriusly do not own a thing.
Written for: ceredwensirius
Summary: Hermione a little more than obsessed with an Anonymous group.
Warnings: Womanizer!Sirius at his finest.
Words: 1141
This was the third bloody week she'd seen this article. Gritting her teeth, Hermione forced her eyes away from the editorial that continuously popped up everywhere. Mostly everyone was raving about it; the men in jealous undertones and the woman in giggled whispers. Didn't these bints realize that publicizing this only benefited him? Now every woman in Wizarding England would want to know exactly what was inside his pants.
Hermione scowled and folded the paper with a crunch. What was it about him? What did he do to those poor stupid women?
Shaking her head at the ridiculousness of it all, Hermione made to get up, but stopped when she heard a familiar voice call out her name.
Without getting a chance to turn around properly, Hermione was engulfed in a bear young by the youngest Weasley, who was grinning ear to ear. Hermione fought the urge to instantly become suspicious, whenever Ginny smiled like that, something was up.
"I was trying to catch up with you all weekend!" Ginny snapped playfully.
Rolling her eyes at Ginny's exaggeration, Hermione sat back down on the table. "You do realize that you were in Ireland this weekend, playing against the Falcons?"
"Falcons, Malcons, who cares? I've got an idea," Ginny giggled again, excited.
Hermione sighed. This could only end badly. "Does it involve me?" Hermione regretted asking the question as soon as it left her mouth.
If possible Ginny grinned more widely. "Of course silly! What would I do without my dear know-it-all!"
Hermione didn't bother responding to that. She watched half-interestedly as Ginny rummaged through her bag, after a few swear words and 'how did that get there', Ginny managed to find the thing she was looking for. She held a battered old newspaper clipping in her hand and Hermione's interest immediately shot up.
"Look at this," murmured Ginny, smiling wickedly.
Hermione grabbed the paper and felt a weird sensation in her stomach as she re-read the same article for probably the hundredth time this week. Looking up from the paper, she noticed that Ginny had been staring at her.
"Well, want to go for a meeting?" asked Ginny eagerly.
Hermione's eyes widened. How could Ginny possibly imply that? Or did Ginny want to go because she was one of them?
Horrified Hermione asked, "Ginny, you're no-"
"Merlin no!" gasped Ginny, "But if I didn't have Harry, I'd be after him too,"
Her eyes widened even further. "You don't actually want to go do you?"
"Why not? It's not like we are going there to join. We'll be more like inquisitive journalists or something," explained Ginny.
Hermione shook her head, "There is absolutely no way I am doing this!"
((Two Days Later))
"I can't believe I am doing this!" whispered Hermione. "People will think I've slept with him!" moaned Hermione. "And what if someone sees me?"
Ginny glared at her. "You do realize that you hair is charmed black, you skin is pale, and your eyes are blue. You could pass for his sister. Now get in there and shut up. We are were to observe!" hissed Ginny.
Sighing, Hermione followed the irate redhead into the dimly lit room, where about a dozen woman sat huddled in a corner. Muttering to herself, Hermione sat down next to Ginny, making sure to hide her face behind the scarf she brought for precaution.
Carefully, Hermione observed the woman around him. They didn't look like the type of sickos she imagined would run a group like this. They were all exceptionally beautiful, all from different backgrounds and nationalities.
A tall woman with jet black hair and hazel eyes sat in the middle of the circle, she seemed to be the leader. She humbly waited for the others to gather around before she began her speech.
"We all are gathered here today because of our addiction. We are the victims. He has warped our minds, filled our bodies, and claimed us as his. We, being the foolish individuals we are, allowed him to possess us fully. We have loved him, honored him, and cherished him above all. But now is the time for redemption my ladies. We will fight our love for him, we shall conquer the parts of our souls that yearn to be with him, and we shall overcome the sexual frustration that has been laid upon us,"
Hermione watched her open-mouthed. There was a limit to stupidity, but this bypassed anything she'd ever seen.
She watched as the leader or Lady Tana, called on every single woman, one by one. Each replying with the same robotic answer.
"My name is blah blah and I have a Sirius Addiction."
Hermione listened as each woman recounted her tale about Sirius. How passionate, loving, and caring he was; and suddenly he had left her for another woman. Each story was similar, rehearsed, and redundant.
Yawning Hermione made to leave, when the voice of Lady Tana stopped her.
"You are leaving dear Lady, you have no stated your name, nor have you given us your story," spoke Lady Tana softly.
Hermione gaped at the woman. "I am not one of you,"
Lady Tana arched an eyebrow, "Not one of us, eh?" she paused, an evil smirk playing on her lips, "We have a case of denial,"
Anger bubbled inside her as Lady Tana sneered at her. She wanted to rip that sneer off her face.
"Listen you depressed bitch! I am in no way like you people. Nor do I ever intend to be one of you! You women are weak, sick, and filthy for letting a man walk over you like that. Since you women have nothing else better to do, you start this Anonymous group, and blame a man for all you idiotic mistakes,"
Without even looking at Ginny, Hermione made her way out of the tiny house, muttering all the way about 'crazy bitches' and 'the ridiculous schemes they come with'. There was absolutely no way that Sirius was that good in bed, that women had to seek professional help to be rid of him.
Hidden in the back of her mind, Hermione wondered what was so special about Sirius Black that had countless women falling at his feet?
((Three Weeks Later))
"I am Hermione Jean Granger and I have a Sirius Addition,"
A/N: Yes, I realize that was pretty corny, but I was bored and had nothing better to write. Sorry Patti, I am out of plots, and it's 2:08 in the morning. So you can understand why I am brain dead. To those of you who like it, well, you guys are mental like I am. Anyways, read and review.