Chapter 1 A True Marine

I know it has been a long time coming. I have started a new job and I have not had the muse to write. Well that's not completely true; I have written just not things that I feel are ready to be shared. I wanted to get an outline and where I want this story to go before I started this journey once more and pulled you along as well. One last thing, thank you to the one reader/reviewer who gave me the push to try this once more.

I do not own NCIS.

P.S. I'm going to back track a little to hopefully give you a little of what Jenny is going through to try to understand her or at least see where she is coming from.

"Dad," Jenny called out to the man in front of her, he looked just like her father but… her father was dead. Jenny didn't know how she got to the diner but that is where she was, an old and dusty diner.

"Jennifer," he whispered stepping towards her and giving her a hug. Jenny didn't move, her mouth slightly opened, her eyes wide and tears forming in them.

"Dad," she whispered. "What… what is going on?"

"You were shot, sweetie," he told her, guiding her to a chair in front of the counter. Jenny looked at him giving him a nod.

"I know," she told him. "I felt the bullet. I still don't understand." Colonel Jasper Shepard looked at his daughter, brushing some of her hair behind her ear like he used to when she was much younger.

"You're in the in between," he told her. "You have come to one of three crossroads."

"One of three?" Jenny asked confuse. "You mean… to live or to die."

"Yes," he told her.

"Why? Why not just die." Jasper looked at his daughter and wondered the kind of hurt she must be in to say something like this.

"Because you have a lot to lose," he told her but she shook her head.

"Gibbs is back and he will lead the team, they will all be fine," she told him, looking at the counter.

"Jennifer," Jasper said her name with the tone that said, 'I don't believe that.'

"He's happy, dad," she told him, knowing what he was thinking. "That is all I have ever cared for, his happiness… even if it meant not with me."

"We all make mistakes, sweetie," Jasper tried to tell his daughter but she shook his head.

"He never told me but it all makes sense now," she said looking up at her father, hurt in her eyes. "I could never… he deserves the chance to be happy." She said changing the direction of her words midsentence.

"He was happy-"

"And he lost it all in the explosion," Jenny cut him off, knowing the example he was going to bring up to tell her Jethro had been happy with her just a few months ago. "Someone up here must have known it wasn't worth it."

"That's not true," Jasper told his daughter, wanting her to believe. "It's a test that is meant to bring you two together and make you stronger."

"No, it was a test to prove to me that we weren't meant to be." Jenny told him, standing up from her seat and walking away from it, not wanting to have this conversation any longer. Moments later the door of the diner opened and in entered a beautiful woman with long red hair and gray eyes. "I see why he could never love another like he loves you."

"Mrs. Gibbs," the doctor said as he entered her room, she had awakened about ten minutes ago and was still trying to figure out what was going on. "My name is Dr. Alexander, I'm your doctor. We will be running some test and making sure you are doing well. We will inform your husband-"

"No," Jenny said looking at him. "He will come when he is able to. I just want to sleep." She told the doctor who took this as a wife not wanting to worry her husband and understood.

"As you wish, the nurse will take you to run some test and I wanted to inform you of…"

"Jenny," the woman in front of her said looking right at Jenny who shook her head.

"Why are you here?" Jenny asked her.

"I wanted to speak to you," she told her.

"Shouldn't you have spoken to Jethro, when he was in his coma?"

"He was going to wake up; it was his faith to wake up."

"But it isn't mine," Jenny asked her.

"Like you father mentioned before this is one of three possible crossroads that you were meant to take." Jenny looked around the diner.

"You mean, one of three possible deaths," she told her and the woman gave a nod.

"This diner could have been one of those crossroads a few months ago but you did something that changed that." Jenny shook her head.

"I don't want to do this," she told the woman before her, walking away from her and to the opposite side of the diner.

"Sweetie, before you are able to do anything though, you have to do one thing," her father spoke; she turned to him, having forgotten he was there. "You have to let go."

"Let go," Jenny shouted at him, knowing exactly who it was that she was meant to let go. "Let go. Let go of the man who killed you, who took you away from me, the man who tormented me and sent to kill me." Jasper looked at the woman and then back at his daughter, surprise. "I know it was him," Jenny told him.

"You are very intelligent," the woman told Jenny but she ignored her.

"I can't let go," Jenny whispered to her father.

"Then you can't make a decision," her father told her.

"I think I've already have, have I not?" Jenny asked confuse. If she couldn't forgive, that meant she could return to earth and finish what she had started.

"No," the woman spoke. "You have to let go before anything is granted to you." Jenny shook her head.

"But he took you away from me," Jenny said to her father.

"And I let him," he told her. "I didn't ask for help, I didn't tell you, I left nothing behind except regrets and secrets that no one has found." Jenny shook her head.

"He took you away from me," she said once more.

"I left you, Jenny, and for that I am sorry." Jenny shook her head, how can you let go when you have been holding on for so long.

"He's the reason why I fought, dad," Jenny told her father with complete honesty. "He's the reason why I left Gibbs, why I took the risk I did to climb the ladder, to have the resources to find him and to kill him the way he had killed me when he took you."

"Don't let him be the reason, he doesn't deserve it," Jasper told her wiping away the tear that had fallen from her eye. Jenny looked away but stepped forward and into her father's embrace. After a few minutes, she took a step back and moved towards a booth, seating on the topside of it, her feet on the seat. She rested her arms against her lap and claps her hands in front of her. She looked out the window but only saw white light.

"You're saying I have two options?" she asked him, wondering if it could be so easy.

"Mrs. Gibbs," the nurse woke her from her sleep. Jenny blinked a few times, remembering where she was. "The doctor will be in soon, he wanted to make sure you ate something though, we have one more test to run right after. I also wanted to let you know that your job has called and that your husband has been informed. He will be here shortly," the nurse said giving Jenny a smile and leaving her alone with 'lunch'. Jenny didn't bother looking down at it as she pushed it away and slowly stood up. She couldn't do this right now, not when… not with everything.

Jenny woke up on the ground, blinking at the bright sun and wondering how in the world she got outside. She sat up and slowly stood. She looked at the green trees around her. Everywhere she looked she saw green, everything was green. The grass, the tress, the different plants that she was sure she had never seen before. As she looked up, she saw the sky above her; it was the bluest she had ever seen, except that one time… but she quickly shook her head refusing to bring forward that memory of another lifetime ago. She looked around and saw the woman who was loved by the man she loved, appeared out of nowhere.

"You said it was my choice," Jenny told her.

"You're making the wrong choice though," the woman told her. Jenny shook her head at her.

"How would you know? Gibbs has married and divorce three times before."

"But none of them had meant what you mean to him." Jenny shook her head.

"I meant nothing," she told her. "He doesn't even remember the second time; he never forgave me for the first time, why can't we just leave it at that?"

"Because he will remember," she argued.

"Then make him not remember, have him live happily ever after with Mann," Jenny spat at her.

"You tell him that," the woman told Jenny whose face quickly turned to one of anger.

"That is your plan," she shouted. "You want me to go back because you know if I die, Gibbs would probably die of guilt. That is why you pulled me back. There must be rule against this! I made a choice!"

"And you're making the wrong one!" The woman shouted at Jenny.

"Go to him!" Jenny shouted at her. "He will probably be the happiest since the last time he saw you, he will probably do anything you tell him to. Go!"

"He was happy with you," the woman shouted at her.

"No he wasn't," Jenny whispered to her, turning away from her and wiping the tears from her eyes not wanting to feel them fall. "We were both in a fantasy and when things got hard, we walked away from each other."

"But you always came back together."

"But never without you too," Jenny said turning around to look at her. "I could no longer compete with the shadow of a woman I had no idea who she was. I could no longer compete with the silent that surrounded Gibbs. I couldn't do it to myself. So I left, holding on to the man who killed my father and let go of Gibbs."

"That's not true, you came back together-"

"Seven years later!"

"But you still came back together!"

"He never told me about you, Shannon! You were still there! He never let you go! He lied to me! I asked him and he lied."

"He was wrong, everyone is," Shannon whispered to her but Jenny shook her head, wiping away her tears that were now down her face.

"I don't want to compete with you… I lost my heart to him seven years ago and I let him have my heart once more just to have it stomped one, spit on, shattered… I can't do it again… I won't."

"Don't do this, Jenny. Don't let him go, please." Shannon begged her but Jenny shook her head.

"He has Holly," Jenny whispered. "She will make him happy; he will be okay like a true Marine is." Jenny said as she looked into Shannon's gray eyes with complete resignation and honesty. Shannon said nothing as she looked back at Jenny.

So, if you are a little confuse, I took you back about an hour since the last chapter of the previous story, 'Where do you stand?' which you will have to read, I think, to understand where this story is going. This chapter is Jenny remembering her time in the coma and her talking to her dad and Shannon, in case you miss those small parts on the first story. I hope I didn't disappoint too many of you. Please review if you have time. Thanks.

P.S. any memory you wish for me to add to the story, just let me know, I'll try my best.