a/n: This is a one-shot and the title is based on Saybia's "The Day After Tomorrow", which seemed fitting. Niles is depressed after Donny starts dating Daphne. I don't write that much and this was done in a whim, so feedback is much appreciated.
Overall, I'd say I'm good. More than good: I finally got my divorce finalized, I got my house back, and a fine lawyer to thank for that. Oh, am I grateful for Donny. Yes. I can finally be happy. Happy with her.
Of course, she doesn't know yet. Why would she? I was married all this time, and I'm a man with ethics. Why would I jeopardize my marriage? Why would I risk everything I have? But that's changed. I'm free. And I'll be free to tell her.
I'll tell her. Tomorrow. Yes. Tomorrow.
Or at least I was, I said that yesterday, so that would make tomorrow today. But I'm too busy today. For now, I have to set my priorities.
For now, I'm getting re-aquanted with old familiar terrain, that's what's important. Oh, how I loved my mother's piano. But of course, she gave it to Frasier. Oh, I can't blame her. After all, he's the oldest. It is, how it was supposed to be. Even though I am the better pianist. Even though I ... Oh well. I can't blame him. Or her. You know, to me this is better. I get the opportunity to get re-acquainted with this divine box of music. I get to live it all again, sitting underneath it like I am now, greeting the cobwebs -oh, hello there- and the music, the music...
The music playing inside my head. I've heard it all. I have spent precious days here in the last year. Hiding from the world. Hiding from Maris, my family, the precious truth that was about to be squeezed out of me. Batted out of me when I wasn't ready. Yesterday, whatever person would be ready to drop this bombshell yesterday?
Oh what a hopeless romantic I would have looked like, it would have caused quite a scene. Maris' lawyers dragging the truth out of me, when I wasn't ready? When I wasn't free? This wasn't how it was supposed to go! No, I was set on telling her today, the day before yesterday. I was to ask her out and whisper it in her ear over a candle-lit dinner. And she would smile at me and kiss me passionately, and al would be good, life would be perfect.
But instead of asking her out, I just stood there. I couldn't breathe, like I can never breathe when I am so close to her. Frasier caught me as I fainted. Later I blamed it on nerves for the court-date. Now I was to tell her in front of everybody, tomorrow, yesterday. That wasn't how it was supposed to go!
Luckily there was Donny. Donny would save the day. And he did, oh, how he did. And I would be able to tell her tomorrow. Today.
Or at least, I would have if he hadn't beat me to it. If he hadn't snatched her away in front of my very eyes. He doesn't deserve her, she's mine! She should me mine! Sure, she must be, well, cute...to him at least. But to him she will never be a Goddess. MY Goddess.
My mind crashes, there are no more thoughts, there is no more future, the irony is complete. The man who gave me my freedom left we with no reason to live.
How could he... no, she! how could she? How could she do this to me after all these years!
But of course, she doesn't know. I'll tell her. I should have told her before! Now all there is is a fool underneath a piano. A fool for love. Lost love.
God, I want her so bad, I could die. I'll tell her, without shutting down, without fainting or vomiting. And I'll kiss her like she has never been kissed before. Everything else would be a pale comparison to the passion we would generate. The things I would do to her would leave her breathless... I would be hers forever and all would be forgiven, all would be good.
Oh who am I kidding? I need help. I'm a psychiatrist, what am I doing here sobbing under a piano, making up excuses about my own cowardice. I should have told her ages ago, and even then... love is not the key to happiness, every psychiatrist knows that! My life is not a film, the curtain will not close on a kiss, when all will be good and they will live happily ever after. This is life. and life SUCKS! I should seek counseling, talk about how my wife has emotionally castrated me for fifteen years, how I feel overshadowed by my older brother and maybe, just maybe we'll reach a breakthrough and find out why I put the key to my own happiness in this one woman, this wonderful, wonderful woman...
Oops, I think my internal hard-drive crashed on me again. Please Niles, try to find some reason. Seek counseling, why would I do that? I'm a psychiatrist, so I should know best! I should just tell her, and all will be good I'm sure.
I'll tell her tomorrow. Or the day after. When the world has ended and my life is over, my heart is ripped apart and I will be but a shadow of a man, and life is but an echo of what could have been... I'll find the courage when the walls are caving in, when the pain consuming me sets fire to the world and peels off my skin, my soul, my heart and nothing is left but ash... I'll tell her then. Wailing her name with my final breath!
Yes. Maybe tomorrow, there is no tomorrow. The sky will break and all will go up in flame... The same flame that is consuming me, will consume the world and all will be lost, and there will be nothing but pain and despair and...there will be nothing left to say.
There's always the day after tomorrow. I'll tell her then, I'm sure.