Kiss the Girl
Disclaimer: I don't Harry Potter, or Disney's song, though I wish I did.
A/N: Just some people giving Angelina and Fred a push in the right direction.
Chapter One: The Plan
George Weasley sighed and looked across the table at Katie Bell, who wasn't looking very happy. She was eating an omelet, or he figured that was what the thing on her plate had at one time been, but now it was a colorful pile of mush.
"Katie," he whispered, trying not to have anybody else hear him. Katie hadn't heard him though, and she continued to push her fork around. "Katie!"
"What?" she replied with an irritated tone.
"I'm bored," George said.
Katie snorted and took a sip of pumpkin juice. "What do you want me to do about it?"
"I'm getting tired of Fred and Angelina ignoring each other," George added.
"Join the club," Katie said.
"No, seriously," George tried to say.
"I am being serious, we could make little stickers. Ooo, we could have rallies and have a secret clubhouse in the Forbidden Forest," Katie continued.
George groaned, "You've gone cuckoo haven't you?"
"Nope, and I'm not planning to for a long time," Katie said, suddenly becoming herself again.
"Good, cuz I would-never mind," George said quietly.
Luckily Katie hadn't heard him, "So what can we do besides make stickers?"
"I dunno, force them into a closet for a week?
"
"No, McGonagall would have my head," Katie said, looking down at her Head Girl badge and shrugging. "What about clearing out the common room so it's just them?"
"Nope, Fred and I already know two secret passages outta there," George said.
"What did you two try to do to get Hermione and Ron together?" Katie asked him as he ate a muffin.
"Set off a bunch of fireworks so she'd fall into his arms, scare the three of them," George said. "But it didn't work remember? Hermione and Harry got together."
"Angelina's not the fall-into-arms-oh-I'm-smitten type either," Katie said logically.
"Nope, and Fred isn't as dense as Ron," George said. "Although with this whole business I'm not sure."
"Maybe he's nervous because Angelina's the only girl he cares about," Katie said.
"I dunno," George said and they fell silent for a while.
"Bash him over the head," Katie suggested.
"Nope," George said.
"Nobody can say we aren't thinking of our best friends," Katie said. She finally gave up on eating the remnants of her omelet and stood up to go to History of Magic. George grabbed his bag and walked with her through the crowded corridors.
"What about the jealousy factor?" George said.
"Go on, I'm listening," Katie said with interest.
"Okay, we bribe somebody to talk up Angelina in the corridors. Then Fred gets all jealous, beats up the guy, we get to watch an entertaining show, he confesses his undying love, we all go home happy," George explained.
"You've been reading too many romance books," Katie said with a laugh. "Plus, what if Angelina figures Fred doesn't like her and actually likes the faker?"
"But she won't cuz she loves Fred," George said. "Watch it first year!" he shouted as a girl with pigtails nearly bowled them over as they turned a corner.
"Yeah, but still," Katie said. "Too many unpredictable things, we want to be in control of the situation."
"True," George admitted as the entered the classroom. The two of them hurried to the back row and took seats next to each other while the rest of their class filed in.
"Welcome class," Professor Binns said, coming in through the blackboard and beginning to drone.
George and Katie didn't discuss their plans any more until that night at dinner with Alicia and Lee.
"Is anyone else sick of Fred and Angelina ignoring each other?" Alicia said, grabbing a few drumsticks and piling them on her plate.
"Yep, we've got a club," Katie said before George could respond.
"Wicked," Lee said, stealing the mashed potatoes from Alicia.
"We're gonna make a clubhouse in the Forbidden Forest, have big rallies, and we're gonna make stickers," Katie continued while George rolled his eyes.
"That's all very well, but what about the problem?" George said.
"Yeah, Hagrid is sure to notice us going into the Forbidden Forest all the time," Alicia said with a worried expression.
"No!" George said, making the entire table jump. "I really wanted the Cannons to win last weekend!" he added a bit lamely, but he got sufficient laughs for people to go back to their own business.
"Smooth move Sherlock," Lee said as he laughed.
"Shove it," George replied.
"George's right, our club, while entertaining, wouldn't solve the problem of Fred and Angelina-" Katie tried to say.
"Being right behind you," George managed to say before their friends joined them.
"Hello all," Angelina said as she sat next to Katie. Fred took his seat next to George and there was an uneasy silence.
"So..." Lee said, and everyone turned to see what he was going to say.
"So continue already!" Alicia said after he hadn't finished for two minutes.
"Continue what?" Lee asked.
"Your bloody sentence!" Alicia said angrily.
"Oh, I wasn't going to," Lee said, eating some broccoli.
"Why not?" Fred said, jumping into the conversation.
Lee looked uncomfortable, "I said that so somebody else would bring up a subject."
"Valentine's Day is next week," Alicia said.
Lee looked triumphant, "See, there, it worked."
"No it didn't," Katie said.
"Yes it did," Lee countered.
"No, it didn't," Katie shot back.
"Yes it did," Lee said angrily.
"It didn't."
"It did."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"And just a minute ago we had nothing to talk about," George said.
"Ha, I win," Katie said, putting a forkful of mashed potatoes in her mouth.
"No you didn't," Lee said stubbornly.
Katie swallowed the potatoes quickly, "George interrupted right after I said no, so I win that argument."
"No, I won that argument fair and square," Lee said.
"Yes I did win, you can ask anybody," Katie said. There was a flash and the desserts appeared on the table.
"Angelina, did Katie win that argument?" Lee said with a grin.
Angelina chuckled, "Yes Lee, she did."
"Ha, I win again," Katie said.
"Okay, stop," Fred said, rubbing his temples as he tried to keep everything straight.
"So anyway, as Alicia told us about three minutes ago, Valentine's Day is next week," George said.
All of the girls groaned, and the boys looked a little taken aback.
"The day all the little kids long to tell their crush their 'true feelings' and hold hands in the corridors," Alicia said and when the boys stared at her she shrugged. "It's hard to push through people holding hands."
"Day of stupid songs and sappy poems," Angelina added.
"All the pink flowers, pink hearts, pink chocolates, pink ice cream, pink pastries, pink clothes, pink paper, pink make up, pink hats, pink owls, pink cats, and pink ink," Katie said with a shudder.
"That Cindy in our dorm, she's marking off the days on her pink, scented calendar," Alicia informed the boys.
"Clarissa is painting her nails pink, is putting little pink hearts all over her four-poster, and is already setting up her 'Gallery of Exes,'" Angelina added with disgust.
"Pink tapestries, pink food, pink icing, pink books, pink lights, pink cups, pink plates, pink forks, pink knives, pink spoons, pink bags, pink bears, pink bunnies, pink dogs, and pink love letters," Katie continued as she ticked them off on her fingers.
"Wow, I had no idea you hated pink that much," Fred said with a laugh.
"Now we know how to torture them next Wednesday," Lee said with a grin.
"Hey Lee, do that stupid 'so' thing again so we can get a new subject," Katie said.
"I thought you said that didn't work," Lee said.
"It didn't, but our resident genius over here might say something interesting," Katie said, nodding her head towards Alicia.
Ron was walking behind them as she said this and thought she meant him. "I'm not a genius, Hermione is."
"Oy Ron, your village called," George said. "They want their idiot back."
"Okay, so I'm stupid," Ron said as he turned scarlet. "You don't have to remind everyone."
"I've known sheep smarter than you," Fred said as he grinned.
"I've worn robes that have higher I.Q.s than you do," George added.
Their group laughed as Ron walked off in a tantrum behind Harry.
"C'mon, let's go back to the common room, I've gotta finish an essay," Katie said, getting up and throwing down her napkin.
The group stood up, pushing past some second years, and went up the marble staircase.
"Joy to the World!" a suit of armor was singing as they neared the portrait hole, blocking their path as it sang.
"Get outta the way," Fred said, swinging at the armor. The only thing this accomplished was a small dent in the armor and Fred yelling a long string of curses.
"You're not even on the right holiday you stupid-bloody-thing," Katie said, pulling up her robes and kicking the armor after every word.
"Hark the harold angels sing, glory to the new born king!" another suit of armor sang, coming up behind them and blocking their escape.
"It's February you idiots!" Angelina yelled at them.
"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," another suit sang out squeakily.
"Sure, in about nine months maybe!" Lee said angrily.
"Everywhere you go," Fred echoed, but stopped at the glares.
"Shut up already, and let us go, please," George said, but the suits were determined to finish their own songs.
"Who knew Joy to the World could be sung in a round?" Katie grumbled as they leaned against the wall.
Suddenly, there was silence.
"What is this strange phenomenon?" Lee asked, standing up and stirring Alicia from her sleeping position on his foot.
"The charms must have finally worn off," Katie said, pushing past the silent suit of armor and approaching the Fat Lady.
"Nomannic," Angelina told her, and they all scrambled in.
"Table, sweet table," Alicia said, almost collapsing over her Transfiguration homework.
"I'm heading upstairs to work on color-coding my notes," Angelina said, vanishing up the staircase.
Fred went into the corner to study 'in quiet' while the others assembled around the table.
"Okay, here's the plan, we poison both of their meals, then they have to be in quarantine together, where they admit their true feelings," Lee said.
"No, too risky, besides, they'll have our heads if they ever figure it out," Alicia said as she capped her ink and blew on an essay.
"It really shouldn't be this hard to get them together," Katie said with a groan.
"Besides the fact that they're friendly, but not too friendly, happy together, but not too happy together, and quiet all alone," George said.
"How do we know they're quiet all alone?" Alicia asked him.
"Don't ask me difficult questions when I'm on another subject," George said as he ran a hand through his tousled hair.
"Okay, we put them under hypnosis and make them talk to each other about their feelings," Alicia suggested.
"That'd be good," Lee admitted. "Does anybody know hypnosis?"
"Nope," George said as he leaned back in his chair.
"OK, so no hypnosis, no poisoning, no bribing someone to flirt with Angelina, no bashing over the head," at this Katie glared at George. "No fireworks to make her fall into his arms, no scaring them, no shutting them in a closet for a week, and no clearing out the common room so they're all alone."
"Wait, what's wrong with the head bashing?" Alicia spoke up as Katie pointed to her for George.
"Thank you," Katie said before sticking her tongue out at him. "George didn't like the idea." She dipped her quill back into the ink and began to add some more sentences to her Charms essay.
"Haven't you finished that yet?" George asked incredulously.
"No, I only finished six inches," Katie said automatically.
"Er, Katie, we only had to do five," Lee said tentatively.
Katie glared at him, "I'm not finished."
"Fine, fine," Lee said, holding up his hands in surrender.
"I'm not in a matchmaking mood today," Alicia said. "I'm going to bed."
"Night," everybody said as she climbed the stairs.
"I'm gonna turn in too," Lee said, packing up his bag and lugging it up to his dormitory.
"What about magicked flowers," George suggested. "She gets one sniff and then falls hopelessly in love and Fred gets all macho and wow is this getting corny."
"I think you need sleep too, dear," Katie said, patting his cheek softly with sympathy.
"Yeah, sleep, c'mon Fred," George said, dragging Fred out of the corner and talking excitedly as they climbed the steps.
Katie chuckled as they left, almost blotting her essay but then turning back to it diligently.
The next morning brought more ideas to bring Angelina and Fred together for good, as the four of them knew they had to plan it well.
"How about we do it the night before Valentine's Day?" Lee suggested at breakfast.
Katie and Alicia groaned but agreed that they would then have the fourteenth all to themselves.
"We're not doing anything pink though," Katie insisted.
"The actual plan doesn't have to have anything to do with Valentine's Day, that's just the day we'll do it before," George said and they all quickly agreed to that as well.
"Anybody have any strikes of brilliance last night?" Alicia asked them after a moment.
"We could just conveniently force them together next Tuesday night," Lee suggested.
"Nope, won't work, they'd just start talking about Quidditch or who they ran into snogging that day," Katie said carefully.
"How about George say he's Fred, and ask Angelina out, then tell Fred she asked him out," Alicia said as she buttered her toast.
"Maybe, but it's too simple," George said. "We want something that they'll never know we engineered, or it's just too cool to mess up."
"Yes, that is the entire purpose of our existence right now," Katie said happily. "Or we could just make stickers and plaster them all over the place. I can see it now, 'C'mon Fred and Ang Get a Clue!'" Katie spread her arms wide and sighed happily.
"You know, I think I'm finally warming up to the clubhouse idea," George admitted.
"Really? I think we could paint it red and gold, and make it really high up so nobody can intrude," Katie said, getting a far away look in her green eyes.
"If it's in the Forbidden Forest, who would go in there anyway?" Alicia spoke up from her pile of eggs and bacon.
"Valentine's Day is in six days!" a voice shouted, as a girl with curly black hair came running over to them.
"Oh God, it's Cindy or Mindy or whatever her name is," George said, turning pale.
"I thought you were the lady charmer," Lee said looking amused.
"Not to someone like her, she's a bloody parasite," George said, looking around and ducking under the table quickly.
"Yoo hoo, Georgie-Poo!" Cindy called, sliding to a stop next to their group.
"Not here," Alicia said shortly and turned away from her.
"Oh darn," Cindy said, and then walked off in a pout.
Lee shook his head, "Git."
"C'mon George, we've got Potions," Alicia said as she and Katie pulled George out of his cramped position.
"I've got it!" Katie yelled happily, climbing into the common room and racing over to Alicia, George, and Lee.
"Got what? A rare disease that makes you mental?" Lee said.
"No you prat, the solution to Angelina sitting on one side of the common room, and Fred sitting on the other side," Katie said, pulling up a chair and sitting down quickly.
"Well, spill girl," Alicia said.
"Okay, the night before Valentine's Day, Fred and Angelina in a boat, on the lake, then we sing to them that song from The Little Mermaid," Katie said in a breath. "You know, Kiss the Girl, already." Katie muttered under her breath.
"That's perfect!" George shouted, startling the common room. "It's just too cool to mess up!"
"Okay, but we've got major planning to do, how would it look if one of us forgot the words halfway through?" Alicia said, suddenly nervous.
"Bad, c'mon, get some parchment, clear the table," Lee said, shoving aside his books as everyone grabbed a quill and began to write what they needed.