Shrek: What made you write this...odd story?

Me: I got this idea from watching One Piece, DragonBall, and DragonBall Z. More specifically, Goku, Luffy, and their friends and family eating a lot of food and how everyone was surprised at how much they were eating at a fast rate.

Shrek: 'Hand on chin' Hmm. Makes sense. Ogres do have bigger appetites than humans.

Me: Oh. That sounds awesome.

Fiona: It's very annoying. Especially when you're a woman and have damn cravings out of nowhere.

Me: Have you ever thought of fasting? It does wonders for a a person's self control.

Fiona: How do you think I stayed so thin when I was a human.

Me:...Oh... geez. :I

Shrek: Well anyway, before we're here for God knows how long talking, Enjoy the story!

Me: Hey, that's my job! :I

Shrek: Too bad!

Fiona: 'Rolls eyes' You two.

Shrek and Fiona were bored and hungry.

Shrek tried hunting a few times in the forest near the swamp, but due to it being so cold, like below 30 degrees F, he couldn't find any animals to hunt for his family.

He knew he should have hunted those damn deer and possums during the fall.

Then one day, Fiona came up with the idea of her and Shrek, taking the kids out to eat.

And what better place to go and eat for the holidays than at the new restaurant that just opened in Far Far Away?

Fiona, thankfully, had enough money to cover all of the food they ate. Good thing too because after their third plates of food, the ogre family continued eating.

The majority of the food Shrek, Fargal, Fergus, and Felicia ate were meat based. Fiona would eat meat as well, but not as much as her husband and children. Fiona would eat rice, noodles, sea food, veggies, and sweets.

They were completely unaware of the other people in the restaurant looking at them and how much food they were eating. Everyone in the kingdom knew who Shrek, Fiona and the triplets were and how they acted around other people. They were not expecting the ogres to eat as much as they did. Shrek and the family were not eating like savage animals, well, the children were since they didn't know how to eat properly, but not Shrek and Fiona. They were eating at a fast pace because of how good the food was and how hungry they were.

Even ogres have to have SOME kind of manners.

As Shrek was eating, he looked over to see Fiona wiping her daughter's mouth that was covered in barbecue sauce, unaware of her husband looking at her. Smiling, Shrek thought of an idea, and tapped on Fiona's shoulder. The ogress, who was eating a bit of her food, wiped her mouth and turned to her right, assuming someone wanted to talk to her. As Fiona was turning her head, Shrek took his fork and ate some of her rice and shrimp. Fiona saw that there wasn't anyone next to her and turned back to her food being eaten by her husband.

"Hey!"

Shrek stopped eating Fiona's shrimp rice and looked away innocently. "What?"

Fiona used her fork to take a leg of lamb from Shrek's plate and ate it in front of him.

"Hey! I was gonna eat that!" Shrek exclaimed.

"What? I was hungry," Fiona said innocently.

"Then you wouldn't mind me eating more of this." Shrek ate more of Fiona's food until there wasn't any shrimp rice left on her plate.

Fiona was devastated. "Noo! My shrimp rice!" She took Shrek's plate and began eating his food.

Shrek, terrified, outraged, and couldn't help but laugh, he took Fiona's plate of food as well and ate whatever was on it. The people eating around the ogre family continued watching Shrek and Fiona "fight", and the triplets laughing and giggling from what their parents were doing. The ogres were still unaware of the other people looking at them.

And even if Shrek, Fiona, and the triplets did notice, they wouldn't really care.

Despite Shrek and Fiona's war over the food they were stealing from each other, they were enjoying their time with not only each other, but with their children for the holidays.

And that's all that mattered.

Me: This is kind of my first Shrek/Fiona..ish story and it turned out pretty good. I'll write more...when I'm not being lazy. 'Laughs'

Fiona: You really need to stop being lazy when it comes to this stuff.

Me: Hey! I have a lot of shit to do outside of writing!...But I have to agree with you on that. :I Typing wize anyway.

Fiona: See?

Me: Oh hush! Old habits die hard!

Shrek: What are your other stories you have for me and Fiona anyway?

Me: Nothing romantic or anything. I mean, you guys are married, but I see you guys like being in a non-sexual relationship.

Fiona: Oh you mean like...uh...that...a..asexing?

Me: 'stifles a laugh' Asexual?

Fiona: Yes that! 'Sees BluWriter and Shrek snickering from a distance' Hey! Don't laugh at me!