Aarrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The sound is a slow, low, guttural scream from Charlie. She is on her hands and knees, she is facing the ocean, tears are pouring down her cheeks.
A letter is scrunched in her hands.
***
Charlie had returned from work to find Ruby doing homework at the kitchen table. "Hey Charlie. How was work?"
Charlie had not answered her, the top envelope of mail, which was noticeably resting on the window sill, was addressed to Charlie Buckton; she had recognized the handwriting immediately.
'Joey' the name boomed in her head.
Without thinking or answering Ruby's question Charlie had snatched the envelope and bolted out the door.
It had been almost three months.
Charlie was very aware Joey was due back sooner rather than later now, she was practically counting the days. She was constantly beside herself with nervous excitement at the idea of finally seeing Joey again. She believed with all her heart that their love would triumph and that they would be together again.
***
Charlie had spent the last seventy-two days hating herself for sleeping with Hugo. She had done nothing but work and work out. Seeing Angelo, Roman and Hugo around town had only reaffirmed to Charlie that she loved Joey. She didn't feel love when she saw them. However, they had all reminded her of Joey, of what she had with Joey, how special Joey had made her feel, Joey's gently touch and her soft lips.
Charlie was desperate to have Joey back in the Bay. To reestablish their relationship, to rectify everything she had done wrong. Nobody had ever captured her attention or her heart the way that Joey had.
She loved Joey, and she was (finally!), ready for the world to know it.
***
"Charlie?" Ruby's hand lightly touches her sisters shoulder.
Charlie jerks suddenly at Ruby's touch. The sound of the pounding ocean and her heart wrenching sobs were all that she could hear.
Ruby looks down at Charlie, she sees a broken mess, Charlie is kneeling in the sand, her eyes red and rimmed, her hair a tangled windy mess, "Charlie, it's me, Rubes. Are you OK?" Ruby's heart breaks, she had also recognized the handwriting on the envelope and knowing it was from Joey she had followed her sister to the beach. She also knew how much Charlie had hurt Joey, something in her told her it may not be good news.
Kneeling down in the sand beside her sister, Ruby's arms wrap protectively around Charlie, she pulls her in tight, kissing her gently on the top of her head.
At Ruby's embrace, Charlie feels her tears as they come streaming again. She collapses into Ruby's arms. Charlie is lost to her emotions, she feels numb.
They hold each other for a long time. No words are spoken, they simply watch the retreating surf.
***
"Charlie. Talk to me. Tell me something." Ruby, still clutching her sister, hears her voice which is croaked with emotion
Charlie turns slightly, she looks deep into Ruby's eyes, she can't speak.
It takes a moment, but she eventually thrusts the crumpled pieces of paper towards Ruby as new tears flow.
Ruby gently releases Charlie as she takes the letter in her hands.
Slowly reading, her own tears form as she reads Joey's sad words.
Ruby can't believe it, Joey is not coming back.
The letter is detailed and emotional, Ruby's eyes flit between the pages and Charlie's face. Unable to read anymore, she finally puts the letter down. Her own heart breaks for Charlie. She is choked to read that Joey feels their trust has been broken, that Summer Bay is full of too many sad memories, that Charlie broke her heart too many times and she doesn't feel she has any fight left in her to try again at their relationship.
Ruby looks sadly at Charlie, she sees a heart that is crushed, reaching she takes Charlie's hands tenderly in her own, "Oh God, Charlie! I'm so sorry." She knows the words are inadequate.
She simply, holds Charlie close, as their tears freely flow.
Charlie, eventually takes the letter from Ruby's hands. She lets her eyes fall desperately, once again, over the now tear smeared words, before her eyes come back to rest on Ruby's face.
Charlie looks dejected as she says, "Ruby, take me home. I need a drink."
Slowly they both rise and hand in hand wander silently back home.
***
Charlie lies broken and alone on her bed.
She had one neat vodka when she got home but it didn't make her feel any better so she had quit. The crumpled letter is lying sadly on the pillow next to her.
She wants nothing more than to blot out the pain that is ripping at her heart and her soul, but she knows there is nothing, nothing she can do.
Both Leah and Ruby had tried to get her to the dinner table but she had refused. She couldn't eat, she is numb and unbelieving.
She is lost.
***
Waking the next morning, Charlie again feels the breaking of her heart. She doesn't want to get out of bed, she doesn't want t face the world. Rolling on her side she looks sadly out the window; her tears again flow.
It's Ruby's gentle tapping on her door, that brings Charlie back to the moment.
Charlie wipes hard at her eyes, she doesn't want Ruby to see her like this.
"You can rub all you like Charlie, I can still see how much you are hurting." Ruby's words are soft and caring as Ruby enters the bedroom.
Ruby knows she may have been upset with Charlie at first, placing her in 'pretend lesbian land,' but she had now seen how much both woman had loved each other, she knew how happy Joey had made Charlie and that was what made Ruby happy.
"I'm alright." Charlie's words are soft and meek.
"Yeah Charlie, sounds like it. You must feel like springing out of bed and tackling the world today!" Ruby lies down beside her sister, letting her arms fall gently over her.
They lie there for a minute.
"Ruby, what am I going to do?" Charlie shakes as a sob uncontrollably wracks her body.
"Sshhh." Ruby strokes lovingly at Charlie's hair, "Charlie, you'll be alright. I know you don't believe me right now, but you'll meet someone else. It will take time, and it will hurt, but eventually, you'll fall in love again."
"Not like Joey though." Charlie's voice is soft as she gets lost in her memories of Joey.
Charlie rolls slowly onto her back, she looks sadly at Ruby, "I don't even know who I am Rubes. I mean, really, who am I?" The question is imploring, Ruby doesn't know what to say. "I mean, am I gay? straight? was it just Joey?"
Ruby has no words, she doesn't know.
Two months ago, Ruby would never have put 'Charlie' and 'gay' in the same sentence, but now having seen Charlie in a happy relationship with a woman, she is equally confused. All she knows is she no longer cares, "Charlie, it doesn't matter. Boy, girl; girl, boy. What difference does it make? As long as they make you happy."
Charlie looks deep into Ruby's eyes, she loves her sister, she wanders when she got so smart, "Thanks Rubes. That doesn't help my breaking heart or massive state of confusion, but thanks."