Disclaimer: They're not mine, I'm just playing in someone else's sandbox. Promise to return them intact once I'm finished. Compliments will be repeated in front of the mirror, flames will be used to light my cigarettes. Please send them all in.
Inspired by a picture I found on Facebook on New Year's Eve, which read "Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.". Kudos to whoever created it.
365 days
By Rita C.
365 days ago Nasir was getting ready to spend New Year with his brother and sister-in-law. Again. He had no special someone to be with, and they were at that time of their lives where most of his friends were settled, raising their own families.
It wasn't that he didn't like spending time with his brother and sister-in-law – quite the contrary, some of the best times of his life had been spent by their side. They had their own little traditions, going out to watch the fireworks and making memorable silly moments – just last year, they had broken their own record by having their first moment of absolute silliness of the year a scarce forty five minutes after midnight.
It was just that this wasn't exactly how he thought his life would have turned out by now and for some reason this time of year always left him feeling a little bit… nostalgic.
11 months ago and Nasir was back into his old routine. Wake up early, leave the house to go to work – a job he could still remember loving (he remembered how good it felt, how good it made him feel, to make a difference in people's lives) and now could barely think of without wanting to bolt - and then return home only to begin again the following day. It was boring and bland and safe. It was what he had and even though there were times when he felt like throwing it all away, he knew for a fact that he had it better than a lot of others.
He just hated January with a passion.
10 months ago was Nasir's birthday. A ritual dinner party with his family, with tons of food and cake and laughter, followed by a ritual party with his friends, with tons of alcohol and cake and laughter. Even with everything that was going on in everyone's lives, no one was ever too busy to celebrate his birthday, showering him with gifts, attention and booze.
Showering him with love.
9 months ago was the first time Nasir saw him. There was no lightning, no thunder rumbling across the sky, the Earth did not shift in its axis. Nasir was sitting in the park across from work, quietly finishing his cigarette before heading home, and just enjoying the slightly warmer weather – no matter how hard he tried, he still could not find any justification for winter – when he saw him, working out in the machines placed by the edge of the park.
Now, the park itself was beautiful, a strip of land next to the river, surrounded by trees of different kinds. Spring was slowly claiming back the land, filling the earth with beautiful green fresh grass, delicate flowers sprouting here and there. And yet, at that moment, the world's beauty faded in comparison with the toned body and the green eyes of the man training by the park's edge. And when he looked in Nasir's direction, tilted his head to the side, giving him a full appraisal before slowly smiling, Nasir felt something strange twist in his stomach.
And maybe yes, the world might have shifted a little bit.
8 months ago Nasir had a small vacation from work. Not having enough money to actually go anywhere, his time was spent between doing stuff he never had enough time to do otherwise – like visit that new art exhibit he had been dying to see – and hanging out with his friends, a pleasure sometimes too easily sacrificed when everyone was just too tired to call each other on their excuses.
This time, however, his time was also spent going to see a movie with his new friend, or going out to dinner with his new friend, or just hanging around the house watching bad television with his new friend. His new friend seemed to be taking over a large part of his life. And Nasir was getting used to it rather easily.
7 months ago Agron surprised Nasir by taking him out to a fancy dinner to celebrate.
'We're celebrating the fact that nearly one month ago I kissed you and you didn't punch me in the face.' He said with a smile. It took Nasir's confusion a while to disappear as his brain started to grasp the concept. And, as it vanished, said confusion left in its wake something far more frightening – exhilaration.
6 months ago Nasir's world was once again flipped around and turned on its axis. It was as though things had finally settled into their rightful places and Nasir was, for the first time, being able to see the bigger picture. It wasn't some big event that brought on this change in perspective. It reminded Nasir of his grandmother, speaking about the importance of little everyday things, as opposed to the theatrics of grand gestures.
The change wasn't brought on during the night Nasir got home after another gruesome day at work, to find a table set for two, with candles and soft music playing in the background. More shocking than that, was discovering that Agron had actually cooked for him – and discovering in that same moment that Agron not only could cook, but was actually great at it. It was cheesy and romantic and gave Nasir plenty of material to blackmail Agron with.
The change wasn't brought on during their first time… being intimate. Nasir didn't really care for the expression 'make love', simply because it reminded him of romantic comedies, with the blushing heroine giving away her virginity to a guy who would eventually fuck things up before the inevitable happy ending. Have sex or simply fucking was perfectly acceptable to him. But, even though there was passion and aggression and raw need the first time they actually fucked, there was no denying the sensuality and care in the way Agron paused to adjust Nasir underneath him, before pushing back in, hitting him in that amazing place inside that made his toes curl. Maybe there was more to that 'making love' thing than he had ever thought.
The change came about on a Sunday morning, during a walk in the park. Agron was going for his routine jogging and Nasir had tagged along, taking a book to keep him company during Agron's workout. Instead, he had ditched his routine and had grabbed Nasir's hand, quietly strolling along the park enjoying the warm weather and each other. And, as they paused for a moment, Agron had looked down at his dark haired lover and calmly remarked 'You do know I love you, don't you?'
It took Nasir a few days before finding the right words to reply. In the end, he merely took Agron's words from him and, while watching TV one evening, asked him the same thing. 'I just wanted to be sure you knew.' he added. Agron's smile, followed by a searing kiss, assured them both they were on the same page.
And just like that, Nasir's world shifted and began making sense.
5 months ago Nasir thought this was as close to perfect as his life would ever get. And, as far as he was concerned, it was pretty damn close. So it was with mixed feelings of confusion and awe that he watched it all turn to hell. In hindsight, he couldn't quite understand how it had all turned so bad, so fast – but it had, and that was all there was to it.
A friend of a friend of a friend, introduced to the both of them at a party, had made his interest towards Nasir very blatantly known. And neither Nasir's lack of interest – and there was none, even if part of him felt flattered and recognized that maybe, in another life, things might have been different – nor the fact that he was seeing someone, was with someone, seemed to make much of a difference. Castus was beautiful, charming and relentless in his pursuit.
And in that moment, Agron's possessive nature came face to face with Nasir's fierce independence. What started out as a petty, meaningless disagreement, quickly escalated into a full blown fight. Soon, all the heat and passion in their relationship had been directed towards perceived slights, making compromise seem unreachable.
And, as Nasir stubbornly clung to his new found friendship with Castus, and Agron found a million different things to keep himself occupied and away from them, they both wondered how they had got here.
It was the chapter they had both been eager to avoid. Their first real fight.
4 months ago was the first time they took a vacation together. After the Castus situation had been dealt with, and compromise had been struck – an understanding which ensured Nasir's right to befriend whoever he chose, although paying a close attention to Agron's feelings on the matter – it was determined they both needed some time for themselves and away from the world.
It wasn't really a vacation – although Nasir was enjoying a two week vacation, a couple of days off from work were all Agron could manage. Still, they took a trip down south, where they rented a small cottage near the beach. It was insanely hot, making Agron remark that for once he wouldn't have to serve as Nasir's personal heater, and Nasir reply about his lack of complaints about said job.
For four glorious days, all they did was toast in the sun, swim in the ocean, and love each other.
3 months ago was the mandatory 'get to know each other's families' dinner party.
They had both avoided it like the plague and ultimately had both been sternly warned – Agron by his mother, Nasir by his grandmother – that it was happening and they better set it up quickly. And while both of them were grown men and prided themselves on being fiercely independent, a mother's order was still unquestionable.
2 months ago Nasir received the phone call he had almost given up hope of ever receiving.
'We were very impressed with you resume. When can you start working for us?'
He had run all the way home, eager to see Agron's face when he told him the news. A new job. His dream job. A fresh start. Nasir had never been one to deal with change very well – he liked things to be stable, and safe. Agron, on the other side, had been pestering him about his daily frustrations at work for months now.
'If you're not happy about it, why not make a change?'
'It's not that easy. What if I don't like the change? Or where I end up? What if it's even worse there? What if I don't fit in?'
'What if you do? What if it's better? What if you end up loving it? You'll never know if you don't risk it.'
So he had applied to new and different and exciting jobs, jobs he only ever dreamed of one day having, if only to shut Agron up, and now a new realm of possibilities were opening up. He had gotten it. He had a new job. And even though he was still apprehensive about it – it was a change in his otherwise orderly life, and a major one at that – he was beginning to feel that he might make it out ok in the end.
After all, Agron had been a major change, and he was still waiting for the day when he started to regret making it.
1 month ago and it seemed to both Agron and Nasir that they barely had time to see each other.
Preparations for Christmas were in full swing, with major negotiations taking place about where they were spending both Christmas Eve and Christmas day, making UN peace talks seem like a kid's play by comparison. Agron's firm was on the brink of closing a major deal, and Nasir was spending countless hours at work, training his new replacement as well as trying to leave everything organized, to make the transition as smooth as possible.
It was chaotic and exhausting and beautiful and exciting. It was the holidays after all.
Today was New Year's Eve and Nasir was, once again, at his brother's apartment.
He stood quietly on the balcony, enjoying his last cigarette of the year – it didn't much matter that, in about ten minutes or so, he would be enjoying his first cigarette of the year; it was just one of those silly traditions – and, once again, reminiscing. It had been one hell of a year, that was for sure.
The sound of the balcony door opening, followed by a pair of arms wrapping themselves around him, broke him out of his nostalgic mood. One of the reasons, the biggest one for sure, for making the past year so memorable.
'What are you doing out here? It's freezing.'
'My sister-in-law would kill me if she caught me smoking inside the house.'
'She would, wouldn't she?' There was no mistaking the amusement coloring Agron's words, making Nasir sigh out of sheer frustration, before slowly allowing a smile to reach his lips.
'Maybe that can be my New Year's resolution. Quit smoking, I mean.'
Agron couldn't help the snort before replying. 'I'll believe it when I see it.'
Nasir leant back more fully, allowing the heat of Agron's body to warm him up. It was almost midnight.
'You know, I've been thinking…'
It was Nasir's time to snort. 'May the gods help us all.' He yelped when Agron playfully bit his earlobe.
'I was thinking that maybe, next year, we could celebrate somewhere else.'
Nasir turned his head to look at Agron fully before replying. 'I thought you liked it here.'
'I do. I'm not suggesting that we cut out your family. I know how important these little traditions are for you and your brother.' He rearranged Nasir against himself before continuing. 'I just thought that maybe, next year, we could do this at… our place. You know, same thing, dinner and then fireworks, just… our house instead of theirs. That way, you won't have to come outside if you want to smoke.'
It took Nasir a moment to calm his racing heart, a steady, deep breath leaving his lungs, before turning around in Agron's arms and calmly pulling him down for a kiss. 'I love the traditions I have with my brother. But you're right. I think it's time you and me start making some new traditions of our own.'