For linnda. A fluffy-ish Taito with minimum angst. Hopefully, a one-shot.
Author: Rae
Title:
Content: Shounen-ai (possible PWP epilogue, sometime in the summer)
Author's note: Set after the end of 01, AU because it warps 02 events drastically. Sorry, I can't write anything with Daisuke or Ken as major parts, because it's too much fun to write one, the other, or both in as a main coupling. It was going to be a first person POV with Matt, but I'll be damned if I could get inside his mind to save my life.
I'm a Taito fan, and I like fluff, but I'll be damned if I can write that either...Being smart does not make me literate. (And being literate does not make me an author.)
Third person, with Matt's thoughts in //thoughts//. They are only Matt's thoughts, so don't get confused, if they just pop up at random.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
//Idiot. I swear that there are times that you were born with less brains than a pea plant. Yes, you, goggle freak. Please wipe the drool off your face and concentrate on the lecture. How can I stare at you without you noticing if you're zoning out on a spot over my shoulder?//
Odaiba High School was as bad as Junior High, but without the rather monotonous uniforms. Not that the green blazers had been terribly uncomfortable, but there's a certain something lacking when all individualism is removed, even from a small subculture.
Ishida Yamato, sixteen year old hearthrob and thriving musician, sat in a class of his peers, waiting less patiently than some, and more patiently than others, for the teacher to shut up and leave. One more period, one more switch of lecturers, and they could leave for the day. That's all it would take. Little over an hour more, and they would be free.
Blue eyes turned to the right again, one row over and up, to stare at the side of his best friend's face. Yagami-Kamiya Taichi. And his goggles. Yamato, more commonly called Matt by his friends, rolled his eyes. He'd known Tai for years, and he still couldn't understand how such a walking contradiction could exist. The brunette defied logic, and yet was obviously real.
One pale hand reached up to caress his black eye, his fingers tender as they moved softly over the bruised skin. He should know how real Tai was, given that they'd been pounding each other into the ground not two hours before.
//And they say that boys grow up. Somebody's in for a good ass kicking. Five years later, and we don't last a week without some kind of scuffle. Not that scuffling with Tai is all that bad. Especially when he's pinned...//
The blonde slipped happily into daydreams, his eyes unfocused as he stared into space and concocted differents scene that could, if things would ever go the way he wanted, evolve from one of their many, many fights.
He shook his head, sending the hentai thoughts flying. //What was I thinking before? Contradictions?//
Yeah, those too. To define Tai was to try to define the vary meaning of love, or so Matt thought. Of course, asking anyone to describe the love of their live, the person that means absolutely everything to them, is like trying too catch air in a butterfly net.
A meager sketching, barely grazing the essence of Tai could be made, but it would be incomplete and therefore inadequate. Matt smiled, his fantasies dispelled for a time as he returned his gaze to stare at Tai.
There was tenderness and a sensitivity under that hot-headed and ignorant surface. Tai might not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but he had more than enough heart to make up for that. Not that he was stupid, either. Just too impatient to focus for too long on any one thing.
When he smiled, the people around him smiled, in such a way that his very presence lifted people's spirits. His anger was something else. He could hold a grudge, but only when the wrong against him was really bad. His anger, though normally short lived, was volatile. It was recorded that he and Matt could be in a fight in two point three seconds after contact, even if both had been in a good mood before that.
//Not that the fighting is entirely his fault. There must be some chemical imbalance between the two of us that turns us into raving lunatics on contact. Pheremones?//
Matt smiled slightly, and it was that moment that Tai chose to blink and wake up from his own daydream. Brown eyes looked at Matt for a moment, uncomprehendingly, and then the brunette smiled. Tai winced as the motion caused his split lip to hurt and turned around to check on the teacher.
She was at the board, writing something that seemed terribly long and uninteresting to him, so he turned back around to meet Matt's gaze. One brown eyebrow rose, as if to ask what the blonde was thinking about.
The musician shook his head, his own gaze swinging to the teacher. He looked at Tai and smiled, fingering his lip, which was untouched. Tai rolled his eyes, and made a circle around his eye with his finger. They smiled at each other in satisfaction, pleased that the other hadn't escaped unscathed from their last confrontation.
"Yagami-san. Ishida-san. If you're communication is that important, you may both be excused to go to the office to continue." They looked sharply at the teacher, before bowing their heads in guilt. She looked at them for a moment before shaking her head. "Please pay attention to the rest of the lecture."
They nodded, but with their heads down, they were both smiling. The lecture resumed, and they both managed to stare straight ahead until that hour was over, and the teacher's switched.
During the switch, all students are supposed to remain standing quietly by are desks, so that we can bow out the first, and bow in the replacement. However, once on their feet after an hour of sitting in boredom, they moved around, nearer to their friends, and struck up conversations.
For the last hour of the day, the teacher was more liberal than the others. He shut the door and let them continue talking while he put his props and books where he wanted them. Tai took the opportunity to walk up to Matt and slug him on the arm.
"What was that for?" Matt rubbed his arm, though the pain was minimal.
Tai grinned. "I can't believe that a black eye is the worst that you got."
Matt shrugged, smiling. "You only have a split lip." Tai shook his head and Matt frowned, not understanding. The brunette turned his head to the side and showed Matt the cheek he couldn't see when they were sitting. There was a large bruise taking up most of it.
"It hurts to smile, it hurts to talk."
"Which hasn't stopped you from doing either."
"Dude, nothing can shut me up."
"And I know the truth in that all too well." Matt smirked, and Tai rolled his eyes as he realized that he'd set himself up.
"That was a low blow, man. And here I came over to apologize."
"Right." Matt smiled in disbelief, nodding his head.
"Would I lie to you?" Asked Tai. Blue eyes peered at him wordlessly, and his grinned widened. "Okay, don't answer that. What are your plans for today?"
//Stare at you for another hour, and then spend the evening with you in the hopes that maybe you'll finally realize that we're meant to spend every waking moment together. How does that sound to you?//
"I figured that I'd study, and then see if the guys want to rehearse tonight." Not that the band really needed the practice. If the fangirls were to be believed, they could sound like dying cows and there would still be an audience, as long as the lead singer showed up. Both the joy and curse of being a teenage heart throb.
"You practice too much as it is. Why don't you come over to my house tonight, and we'll hang out and get nothing done?"
"Jeez, Tai, that's what we did yesterday, and the day before. Are we going for a record on monotony?" The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them, so used to the teasing banter was he. The slight hurt in Tai's eyes was something new, as was the confused shrug.
"Whatever." Tai moved back to his desk, and Matt let his head drop to the desktop for a moment. He couldn't expect Tai to understand his mood swings, or the reason that he was especially emotional when the brunette was around. It was kind of hard to tell your best friend that you loved them, and aside from the truth, there were few excuses for his behavior.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
It was with some surprise that Matt found Tai waiting for him at the entrance doors after school that day. After being a jerk in the last period, he had expected Tai to leave him to walk home alone. Of course, Tai was predictably unpredictable.
They started the walk in silence, both adjusting their bags periodically. They made their way in the direction of Tai's apartment complex without discussion. Matt adjusted his bag, trying to get the load to situate more comfortably so that he could walk without feeling like his shoulders were being pulled forcibly to the ground.
"Switch me." Matt blinked, looking up and turning around to see Tai standing behind him, holding out his bag. "Give me your bag, and you can carry mine."
Matt's eyes were skeptic. "Is this a trick? Is your bag heavier and you just want me to suffer?"
Tai laughed. "Just hand it over." With a smile in return, Matt took his bag off and held it out, but didn't take Tai's.
"Why don't you carry both of them?" Tai raised an eyebrow, his face taking on a threatening quality. Matt took Tai's bag, found it lighter than his own, and slipped it on. "Thanks, Tai."
"No problem." Tai grinned again, hefting Matt's bag over one shoulder and starting onward again. Matt lagged behind, enjoying the scenery...
//Mmmm...nice. If you weren't such an idiot, I could be holding something more than your bag right now.//
He smiled dreamily, imaging the two of them walking hand in hand. Not that they would as a couple, anyway. Neither one was that romantic, but the thought was nice. The idea of being together was very endearing to the blonde.
//That will happen when monkeys rule the planet and pigs fly in space. It's nice to dream.// The smile turned to a smirk as he watched Tai get distracted by a shop window. The brunette stopped in front of it and peered through the window, nearly pressing his nose against the glass in his eagerness to get a closer look.
Blue eyes took a moment to assess the other boy, watching as a slight breeze ruffled his hair, taking in the animated excitement on his face, and the pleasure in his eyes.
//Oops.// Matt was caught looking, and he felt a blush creep up his face. Tai didn't say anything, but there was a look of confusion on his face. //That must be the look I feel in love with. It's too cute to resist.//
"Come on, silly." Matt reached out and punched Tai on the shoulder in a friendly gesture. "At this rate, we'll never get to your place."
Whatever puzzlement Tai was feeling, he seemed to shake it off as he started off again, this time following Matt, who was a few steps ahead. The blonde cursed his luck at being unable to watch Tai from behind, but it was short lived as the brunette came up along side of him and slung an arm over his shoulders.
"You know what?"
"I know many things. What in particular are you thinking of?" In close proximity, it was a struggle of willpower for Matt to keep his voice even and his footsteps steady. It wasn't often that Tai was openly affectionate, even with his sister, so Matt was more than a little surprised to feel Tai squeeze his shoulders in a type of hug.
"You're my best friend."
"I knew that." Matt rolled his eyes, pulling away and slowing his steps until Tai released his hold. "I also know most of your deepest and darkest secrets, so don't try to butter me up. If you want something, ask."
The brunette tried to look innocent, but Matt knew the the look too well. //Don't even try it, Yagami. That act won't wash with me.//
"What makes you think I want something?" Tai asked, feigning indignation.
"Please." Matt quickened his steps again, forcing Tai to keep pace. "I know you too well. About the time you want something, you start reaffirming your friendship with everyone. The last time you wanted a soccer ball, you cleaned your apartment for your mother and tried passing it off as doing your 'sonly duty', end quote."
"Maybe I just want to let you know how much you mean to me." Now Tai was pouting, his arms crossed over his chest. Matt smiled, deciding that he looked adorable.
//As if.// The blonde slipped his arm around Tai's shoulders, ignoring the way he tensed up as if waiting for a blow. "Then I apologize. You're my best friend, too, Tai. You mean the world to me."
//And one of these days, if I ever have half your courage, I'd love to be more than your friend.//
~~~~~_____~~~~~
The apartment was empty when they arrived, not surprising. The high school was closer than the junior high, and both Yagami adults worked. Matt looked at his watch, judging that they had another ten minutes alone before Kari came home. While Tai dropped their bags in his room, Matt stood in the hall and smiled at the possibilities of what he could do to Tai in ten minutes.
"Matt? Yamato?" Tai snapped his fingers in front of the blonde's face. "Man, one of these days, your going to lose consciousness if you stop to think for too long."
"Unlike you, some people can think for long periods of time without their brains exploding." He smirked in triumph at his little insult, and proceeded to make himself at home, going into the kitchen for a snack and something to drink. Tai was chuckling behind him.
"I walked into that one." Matt nodded. //Yes, you did.//
"What are we going to do today? If we're just going to sit around doing nothing, I can go back to my place and do the same without having to put up with you." All thought there was nothing more he'd rather do than spend time with Tai.
Tai shrugged, pulling a chair out from the table and swinging it around so that he straddled it backwards. He looped his arms over the top and regarded Matt with an odd expression, one that Matt had never seen before and that he couldn't decipher.
"What do you think about when you're alone at night?" The question was asked out of the blue, but Matt had no time to think it over, because Kari chose that moment to make her entrance. She walked into the kitchen in her sock clad feet, and smacked Tai on the back of the head.
"Thank you, Tai. Because of you, I was late this morning. Now I have to stay after school tomorrow with Motomiya Daisuke of all people. Do you know, he purposely got a detention so that he could walk me home tomorrow?" Her voice was more aggravated than flattered, and Matt winced at the thought of the boy who was trying so hard to impress a girl that would probably never like him in return.
"You should be happy. If Daisuke is chasing after you, maybe TK will get jealous." He waggled his eyebrows at Matt. "And we all know what happens when boys get jealous." Matt smiled back, his mind looking at the innuendo, throwing
it out of his personal arsenal. He wanted Tai, but he was above playing little games to get him.
"Just ask my brother out, Kari." Matt suggested. "If you're dating TK, then Daisuke will get the message and lay off. He'll find someone else terrorize." He wasn't fond of either of the Motomiya's. Goodness knew that the older sister, Jun, had caused him enough trouble. He shuddered at the thought of all the things she had done to try to make him notice her.
Tai leered at him, catching his unguarded reaction when thinking of Jun and interpreting it correctly. "Matt's right, Kari. The Motomiya's can be very persistent when they want something. Jun's been after Matt for three years, and no amount of telling her he doesn't like her will get her to leave him alone."
Kari looked at Matt with a look that was sympathetic and determined at the same time. "You guys are right. I'm going to call him from our room, Tai, so stay out." She walked out.
"It's about time." Tai was grinning in satisfaction. "They've liked each other forever. I'm surprised it's taken them this long for either of them to get up the nerve to ask the other out."
Matt's blue eyes were speculative as he gazed at his best friend. Now that the distraction of Kari was out of the room indefinitely, he could study the question that Tai had proposed to him shortly before her entrance. "What was up with that question, Tai?"
"What question?" Tai's face was blankly innocent. Matt wanted to growl in frustration. If Tai had been opening up to him, and about to tell him, Matt, that his, Tai's, most intimate wish was for the two of them to be together, we would personally kill Kari for interrupting them. "It was nothing, Matt."
"I doubt that. If it was nothing, you wouldn't have asked." Matt pointed out. //Kari, I am so going to hurt you, girl.//
The smirk turned to a small frown on Tai's face as he looked away, his light brown eyes choosing to rest on a spot to the left of Matt's head. "I've been thinking lately. We're both sixteen, and neither one of us is getting any younger. Most of the guys on the team, and a lot of the guys at school all have dates, and are seeing people kind of regularly. It got me thinking about you and I lately."
//Please, please, please. This is where he tells me that he's lonely, but he doesn't want any of the girls at school. He'll tell me that he's realized that he's always loved me, and he wants us to be together.//
"We should start setting each other up with the girls that we go to school with, Matt. You could con a couple of your fans to go out with your best friend, and I can sort through all the girls in our class for someone that won't annoy the hell out of you."
Matt groaned, slumping against the counter weakly as the words that he most dreaded in the world came from his best friend's lips. Brown eyes watched him for a moment, the brunette frowning at his reaction. They were silent for a couple of moments, Tai confused, and Matt being oppressed by the realization that the time had finally come.
Kari reentered the room, wearing a large goofy smile. She hugged her brother and then Matt, glowing the entire time. Neither guy needed an explanation, they both knew how it would end up with her and TK. "He said yes! You two are the greatest!"
Tai smiled at her, but Matt was too busy staring at his best friend to do more than hug her back stiffly. "I told you so. I've been telling you for weeks to ask him out."
"I know, but I wasn't about to follow your advice. If Matt hadn't agreed with you, I wouldn't have asked." She smiled at Matt, who smiled back, his resolve being pushed back somewhat by her readiness to tease her brother. The conversation could wait until later.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
Later only lasted until the following morning, when Matt was acosted at the front entrance of his apartment building by a spiky-haired girl. Not that she had anything to do with the conversation with Tai the night before, except that it was Tai who pulled her off, and freed Matt long enough to learn to breath again.
He was drawing air into his lungs when his gaze connected with Tai's, and the brunette grinned at him. "See, if you let me set you up, you won't have to worry about this anymore."
"Set him up? Set him up! You can't! He's mine! I love you, Matt. We're soul mates. We belong together!"
Matt twisted his shoulders, trying to work out the kinks being in a Jun- size bear hug created. He pitied the girl more than he disliked her. It wasn't her fault that he would never like her. Her being not Tai her first offense, and her second being herself.
//That was harsh. You're really not that bad, Jun, I just can't stand you. Some day, some really nice, patient guy will come along, and you won't have to worry about gay assholes like myself who can't see beyond your rather obvious flaw of stalking me.//
Tai let her go as Jun began to swing and punch at him. Matt stepped between them, intent on stopping their fight before it escalated, in time to be punched in the gut himself. Jun stared at him in mortification as he grunted and brought his hands to his stomach.
She gasped, and turned around, running away as if the demons of hell would chase her down for her act. Tai grabbed Matt's shoulders and turned him around, ducking down so that he could look up into the blonde's face. "Man, are you okay?"
Matt nodded, grimacing. "She doesn't hit as hard as you do."
That got a small chuckle from Tai, as he brought one olive-skinned hand up to tenderly touch the bruise around Matt's eye. They stood for a moment, Matt speechless and afraid to breath, and Tai concentrating on something that was known only to him. "Does it hurt." His voice was a whisper as he traced a line around Matt's eye.
"Not really." In fact, with Tai's fingers on his skin, he was feeling very good. //Very good indeed.//
"We should get to school." Tai removed his hand, and turned around, picking his bag up from the ground where he must have left it when he saved Matt from Jun.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
The morning went quickly, leaving little time for Matt to think about much other than the assignments handed to him and the fact that all of his teachers were idiots. He was certain that he could get a better education from Izzy. On the other hand, the teachers might be better able to explain it. He sighed, his mind in a rut as he waited for the minute hand to finish it's rotation so they could go to lunch.
As the class filed out a minute later on their way to lunch, a body collided with his from behind, and he stumbled forward, grabbing the doorframe for purchase. Two hands met his back and pushed him through the door way, and he turned around angrily, ready to pound some unsuspecting person for being in too much of a hurry. Playful brown eyes met his, and he sighed.
"Figures that it would be you pushing your way around."
Tai only shrugged and grinned. "Have you thought about my offer?"
"No." Matt answered truthfully.
The brunette sighed in frustration. "Why not? If I can't find you someone that you'd like, how else will you ever find the perfect girl? I promise I won't set you up with some stupid giggling cheerleader."
Matt rolled his eyes. "Tai, shut up." The hall was nearly deserted, most of the students down the hall and around the corner as they waited in line at the cafeteria. "I can't accept our offer because no girl that you introduce me to will ever have my interest."
"What does that mean?"
//I should have known that he wouldn't catch on quickly. Come on, Tai, how obvious do I have to be?//
"It means that there isn't a girl in the world that I will ever find suitably attractive."
There was a perplexed silence for a moment, and then Matt watched as Tai's mouth dropped open and a surprised gasp filtered past his lips. "You're…"
"Yeah, that's one way of putting it." The blonde couldn't help but be amused. The stupified expression on Tai's face was priceless. It was another memory he'd have to cherish as soon as Tai came to his senses and decided to kick the crap out of him. His hopes in the area of Tai's acceptance were extremely low.
"And…"
"And what?"
There was another silence, and Matt's amusement faded quickly. He took a small step back, wanting to put space between them before Tai took it upon himself to do an all out attack that would probably end up with a very hurting Ishida Yamato.
"It's me, isn't it?"
"Yeah." There was no reason to deny it that Matt could see. His whole life had been leading up to this moment, this second in time when his emotions were exposed to the love of his life. In his dreams, this was the time that Tai reiterated his feelings, and they kissed and things became wonderful.
"I can't…"
Matt nodded in understanding. "I'll see you later, Tai. We should both get to lunch." He turned and walked away.
//There's still time. He didn't say no, and he didn't run away. No, I did that. Turned around and walked away from him.//
~~~~~_____~~~~~
The rest of the day was spent in agony. During class, Tai remained focused on the front of the room, leaving Matt clueless as to what he was feeling. After school, the blonde walked home alone, and set about doing his homework and practice. By the time his father got home, the house was spotless, and Matt was bored and stressed out of his mind.
For once, they sat down to dinner, something that didn't happen very often. Then, another shock to the day, Mr. Ishida suggested that they go shopping. TK's birthday was coming up soon, and neither had bought him a gift yet. Matt agreed, and they left, leaving the silence of the apartment behind them as they headed for the nearest shopping center.
When they returned a couple of hours later, there were no messages waiting for them, and Matt made his excuses and went to bed. As he lay in the darkness, staring up at the shadows on the ceiling shifted, the light through the window creating and changing them at will.
Tai's question came back to him, and he closed his eyes, drawing a picture of his friend from his memory. "What do you think about when you're alone at night?"
//I think of you, and I think of everything that you are to me, and all that we could be together. I think of where I would be without you, and then I thank whatever deity may be out there that I will never have to live with that alternative. I don't think that I would have survived life this long if it wasn't for you, Tai. I can only hope now that you realize that my friendship, if nothing else, means enough to move on, together.//
~~~~~_____~~~~~
One more period, one more switch of lecturers, and they could leave for the day. That's all it would take. Little over an hour more, and they would be free. Blue eyes turned to the right again, one row over and up, to stare at the side of his best friend's face. Matt sighed. His heart was surely breaking. They had managed an entire day without talking. He couldn't recall the last time that he and Tai had spent so much time apart.
//You're killing me, Tai. Don't do this, please. Ask me, and I'll deny it, if that's what you want. Tell me to take it back, and I will, as long as I don't have to lose you.//
The teacher was giving them funny looks. It wasn't often that two days in a row passed that she didn't have to yell at Tai and Matt. There was an uneasiness spread over most of the class, making the room feel oppressive and stuffy. All the students were feeling it, but none had realized yet that it was all caused by the two students in the room who were no longer on speaking terms.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
"Matt?" He turned around quickly, coming face to face with Tai. He had left the school, alone again, and started toward his apartment. To say that he was surprised to see his best friend waiting for him in his lobby would be an understatement
"Tai?" He took a step toward him, but stopped himself before he got too close. "What are you doing here?"
The brunette looked down uncertainly, his arms crossed over his chest almost defensively. He scuffed a foot against the foyer carpet. "I thought we could talk."
"Of course. You want to come up, or do you want to take a walk?" Matt offered, already turning toward the elevator Whatever Tai wanted to say, he obviously wanted to say it in private, and the apartment would be better suited for that. "My dad won't be home for a couple of hours."
"Your apartment." Tai nodded decisively, and then lead the way, as if it were his idea in the first place. Matt smiled slightly. After a day and a half of seeing Tai out of character, he was glad to see his friend taking charge again. It gave him a small measure of hope.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
"It really ticks me off that you didn't tell me, Matt." Tai started, the door barely shut behind the blonde as they faced each other. Tai stood in the hallway, blocking the way into the rest of the apartment as he talked. "We're supposed to be best friends, but you never bother to tell me that you're gay, and then what? You don't feel it necessary to tell me that you like me, of all people?"
"You're right. I should have told you sooner, and I'm sorry I didn't."
"That's not the whole thing, Matt." Tai sighed. "Can I get something to drink?"
"Since when do you ask?" Matt queried back. He wouldn't cower in front of his best friend. If there was one thing they had in common between them, it was their stubbornness and inflexibility. He would not give Tai the benefit of making him feel guilty.
//Even if that's not what he wants, he still won't get it!// Sometimes, anger and hurt had no logic.
The brunette removed a can from the fridge, thought better of it, and pulled a glass out of the cupboard and poured a glass of water. "So, out of curiosity, I have a couple of questions."
"Go ahead. I'll be as honest as possible."
"You like, lust after me? You want my body, and all those times that I've walked around half-dressed in front of you, you've gotten some kind of pleasure out of it? When you walk behind me, you stare at my ass, don't you? And the other day, when I asked what you thought of at night, your answer probably would have been having me on my hands and knees, or just on my knees for you, wouldn't it?"
"Fuck you, Tai." Matt snarled. "I don't know what stick crawled up your ass…"
"Maybe I don't put things in my ass, unlike some people."
Matt went on as if Tai hadn't interrupted. "…but get it out yourself. You have always been, first and foremost, my best friend. I wouldn't trade that in for much in this life, Tai. Yes, I love you, and yes, sex has occurred to me more than once, but it's obvious that I can keep my hormones under control, because I haven't jumped you yet."
"Yet."
"Shut up!" He let the anger get control of him for a moment, before shoving it back down, knowing that getting into a fist fight at that moment could be disastrous. "You want to know the honest truth, Tai? I have masturbated to the thought of being with you, of having you and being taken by you. You are the biggest turn on in my life."
His confession was met with silence, Tai's eyes wide, but whether the surprise was due to his honesty, or just the thought itself, Matt couldn't tell.
"But there's more to it than that, Tai. When I think of you, sex isn't always on my mind. I think of the way we are together, and the fun times that we have. The greatest moments in my life are spent just being in your company: talking to you and laughing with you. Being your friend since the Digital World has been the greatest experience of my life."
He paused, looked away with a tired sigh, most of the fight going out of him as Tai continued to stare at him.
"I love you, Tai. I think that I always have. And if I can't have more than your friendship, then I can only hope that I don't lose that much."
//Lack of response is a bad thing. Say something, Tai. Tell me that we can still be friends.//
"Things can't be like they were, Matt." Tai frowned, and leaned back against the counter. "Hell, I don't know anymore. There are a lot of speeches out there, Matt. We could talk about how wrong or right it is. We could discuss the reactions of our friends and family."
"I'm sure that there are any number of things that we could say." Matt agreed, leaning against the frame of the entryway to the kitchen. "What happens now, Tai?"
"I don't know. I really don't. I thought about it, all of last night. I don't think I slept more than two hours. The more I thought about it, the more obvious it seemed. I got so mad, Matt. I could see it in a thousand things. It's not like you ever really hid it, I just didn't see. That makes me madder than anything. How could I be so blind?"
"I've always said that you're not too bright, Tai."
"Shut up." The brunette smiled, shook his head, and grinned. "You can be such a moody ass at times, you know that?"
They smiled at each other, and both felt a little better.
"I'm not bringing you flowers." Tai said suddenly.
"So? You never have before, why would you start now?"
Tai rolled his eyes. "And I don't do all that romantic mushy crap, either."
"Well, duh, Tai. You're not telling me anything I didn't already know. No stupid romantic movies, and forget anniversaries, you can barely remember the date half the time. I'm not a moron, you know. I know better than to expect things like that from you."
"Even if we were dating?"
//Don't I wish.//
"Yeah, even then. Being together wouldn't mean changing who either of us are. We'd still be us, you and me." If Tai was considering an 'us', even in the smallest way possible, then there was hope. Matt felt his heart lighten at the thought that Tai could be thinking of the two of them as a possible couple.
They stood for a couple of minutes, not talking. Finally, Tai pushed away from the counter. "Isn't this the part where we seal it all with a kiss?"
"Seal all of what?" Matt feigned confusion, moving around the table so that it stood between him and Tai. He reversed the brunette's motions so that when Tai went one way, he went the other.
Brown eyes glared at the musician from across the table, and Matt couldn't help but smile. "Matt, get your scrawny arse over here."
"Can't do it, Tai. You haven't said everything I want to hear, yet."
"You know what, Matt?"
"I know a lot of things, what in particular would you like to hear?" Tai's eyes narrowed, and suddenly the brunette jumped across the table, his arms reaching for Matt. The blonde stepped back and way, trapped in the corner. The table, just a large chunk of wood held up by a thick column in the center, creaked under Tai's weight moments before it collapsed, dumping the brunette on the floor with a loud thud.
Tai groaned, rolling across the floor to stop next to the counter. Matt made his way cautiously to him, and knelt down beside him. Brown eyes opened, and settled on his face. "You're dad's going to kill me."
They looked at the table, now lying in two pieces on the kitchen floor, and broke up into laughter. Matt sat down beside Tai's body as the brunette sat up, leaning back on his arms. "Probably. Don't worry, I'll pick the flowers for your funeral."
"You know what?" Matt looked away from the mess in his kitchen to find Tai staring at him and leaning closer. He swallowed, but didn't shrink away.
"What?"
"I think I love you, too. It's just taken me an awfully long time to figure it out."
"Like I've said before, Tai…" His words were cut off by the pressure of Tai's lips on his.
//You're not too bright at times.// He finished in his head, his mouth otherwise occupied.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
End note: I hope ya'll liked that. It's a one-shot, like I said before, but if the reviews are good, I may, MAY write a lemon sometime before or during the summer time when I have more time. Now, back to your regularly scheduled program…
Author: Rae
Title:
Content: Shounen-ai (possible PWP epilogue, sometime in the summer)
Author's note: Set after the end of 01, AU because it warps 02 events drastically. Sorry, I can't write anything with Daisuke or Ken as major parts, because it's too much fun to write one, the other, or both in as a main coupling. It was going to be a first person POV with Matt, but I'll be damned if I could get inside his mind to save my life.
I'm a Taito fan, and I like fluff, but I'll be damned if I can write that either...Being smart does not make me literate. (And being literate does not make me an author.)
Third person, with Matt's thoughts in //thoughts//. They are only Matt's thoughts, so don't get confused, if they just pop up at random.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
//Idiot. I swear that there are times that you were born with less brains than a pea plant. Yes, you, goggle freak. Please wipe the drool off your face and concentrate on the lecture. How can I stare at you without you noticing if you're zoning out on a spot over my shoulder?//
Odaiba High School was as bad as Junior High, but without the rather monotonous uniforms. Not that the green blazers had been terribly uncomfortable, but there's a certain something lacking when all individualism is removed, even from a small subculture.
Ishida Yamato, sixteen year old hearthrob and thriving musician, sat in a class of his peers, waiting less patiently than some, and more patiently than others, for the teacher to shut up and leave. One more period, one more switch of lecturers, and they could leave for the day. That's all it would take. Little over an hour more, and they would be free.
Blue eyes turned to the right again, one row over and up, to stare at the side of his best friend's face. Yagami-Kamiya Taichi. And his goggles. Yamato, more commonly called Matt by his friends, rolled his eyes. He'd known Tai for years, and he still couldn't understand how such a walking contradiction could exist. The brunette defied logic, and yet was obviously real.
One pale hand reached up to caress his black eye, his fingers tender as they moved softly over the bruised skin. He should know how real Tai was, given that they'd been pounding each other into the ground not two hours before.
//And they say that boys grow up. Somebody's in for a good ass kicking. Five years later, and we don't last a week without some kind of scuffle. Not that scuffling with Tai is all that bad. Especially when he's pinned...//
The blonde slipped happily into daydreams, his eyes unfocused as he stared into space and concocted differents scene that could, if things would ever go the way he wanted, evolve from one of their many, many fights.
He shook his head, sending the hentai thoughts flying. //What was I thinking before? Contradictions?//
Yeah, those too. To define Tai was to try to define the vary meaning of love, or so Matt thought. Of course, asking anyone to describe the love of their live, the person that means absolutely everything to them, is like trying too catch air in a butterfly net.
A meager sketching, barely grazing the essence of Tai could be made, but it would be incomplete and therefore inadequate. Matt smiled, his fantasies dispelled for a time as he returned his gaze to stare at Tai.
There was tenderness and a sensitivity under that hot-headed and ignorant surface. Tai might not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but he had more than enough heart to make up for that. Not that he was stupid, either. Just too impatient to focus for too long on any one thing.
When he smiled, the people around him smiled, in such a way that his very presence lifted people's spirits. His anger was something else. He could hold a grudge, but only when the wrong against him was really bad. His anger, though normally short lived, was volatile. It was recorded that he and Matt could be in a fight in two point three seconds after contact, even if both had been in a good mood before that.
//Not that the fighting is entirely his fault. There must be some chemical imbalance between the two of us that turns us into raving lunatics on contact. Pheremones?//
Matt smiled slightly, and it was that moment that Tai chose to blink and wake up from his own daydream. Brown eyes looked at Matt for a moment, uncomprehendingly, and then the brunette smiled. Tai winced as the motion caused his split lip to hurt and turned around to check on the teacher.
She was at the board, writing something that seemed terribly long and uninteresting to him, so he turned back around to meet Matt's gaze. One brown eyebrow rose, as if to ask what the blonde was thinking about.
The musician shook his head, his own gaze swinging to the teacher. He looked at Tai and smiled, fingering his lip, which was untouched. Tai rolled his eyes, and made a circle around his eye with his finger. They smiled at each other in satisfaction, pleased that the other hadn't escaped unscathed from their last confrontation.
"Yagami-san. Ishida-san. If you're communication is that important, you may both be excused to go to the office to continue." They looked sharply at the teacher, before bowing their heads in guilt. She looked at them for a moment before shaking her head. "Please pay attention to the rest of the lecture."
They nodded, but with their heads down, they were both smiling. The lecture resumed, and they both managed to stare straight ahead until that hour was over, and the teacher's switched.
During the switch, all students are supposed to remain standing quietly by are desks, so that we can bow out the first, and bow in the replacement. However, once on their feet after an hour of sitting in boredom, they moved around, nearer to their friends, and struck up conversations.
For the last hour of the day, the teacher was more liberal than the others. He shut the door and let them continue talking while he put his props and books where he wanted them. Tai took the opportunity to walk up to Matt and slug him on the arm.
"What was that for?" Matt rubbed his arm, though the pain was minimal.
Tai grinned. "I can't believe that a black eye is the worst that you got."
Matt shrugged, smiling. "You only have a split lip." Tai shook his head and Matt frowned, not understanding. The brunette turned his head to the side and showed Matt the cheek he couldn't see when they were sitting. There was a large bruise taking up most of it.
"It hurts to smile, it hurts to talk."
"Which hasn't stopped you from doing either."
"Dude, nothing can shut me up."
"And I know the truth in that all too well." Matt smirked, and Tai rolled his eyes as he realized that he'd set himself up.
"That was a low blow, man. And here I came over to apologize."
"Right." Matt smiled in disbelief, nodding his head.
"Would I lie to you?" Asked Tai. Blue eyes peered at him wordlessly, and his grinned widened. "Okay, don't answer that. What are your plans for today?"
//Stare at you for another hour, and then spend the evening with you in the hopes that maybe you'll finally realize that we're meant to spend every waking moment together. How does that sound to you?//
"I figured that I'd study, and then see if the guys want to rehearse tonight." Not that the band really needed the practice. If the fangirls were to be believed, they could sound like dying cows and there would still be an audience, as long as the lead singer showed up. Both the joy and curse of being a teenage heart throb.
"You practice too much as it is. Why don't you come over to my house tonight, and we'll hang out and get nothing done?"
"Jeez, Tai, that's what we did yesterday, and the day before. Are we going for a record on monotony?" The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them, so used to the teasing banter was he. The slight hurt in Tai's eyes was something new, as was the confused shrug.
"Whatever." Tai moved back to his desk, and Matt let his head drop to the desktop for a moment. He couldn't expect Tai to understand his mood swings, or the reason that he was especially emotional when the brunette was around. It was kind of hard to tell your best friend that you loved them, and aside from the truth, there were few excuses for his behavior.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
It was with some surprise that Matt found Tai waiting for him at the entrance doors after school that day. After being a jerk in the last period, he had expected Tai to leave him to walk home alone. Of course, Tai was predictably unpredictable.
They started the walk in silence, both adjusting their bags periodically. They made their way in the direction of Tai's apartment complex without discussion. Matt adjusted his bag, trying to get the load to situate more comfortably so that he could walk without feeling like his shoulders were being pulled forcibly to the ground.
"Switch me." Matt blinked, looking up and turning around to see Tai standing behind him, holding out his bag. "Give me your bag, and you can carry mine."
Matt's eyes were skeptic. "Is this a trick? Is your bag heavier and you just want me to suffer?"
Tai laughed. "Just hand it over." With a smile in return, Matt took his bag off and held it out, but didn't take Tai's.
"Why don't you carry both of them?" Tai raised an eyebrow, his face taking on a threatening quality. Matt took Tai's bag, found it lighter than his own, and slipped it on. "Thanks, Tai."
"No problem." Tai grinned again, hefting Matt's bag over one shoulder and starting onward again. Matt lagged behind, enjoying the scenery...
//Mmmm...nice. If you weren't such an idiot, I could be holding something more than your bag right now.//
He smiled dreamily, imaging the two of them walking hand in hand. Not that they would as a couple, anyway. Neither one was that romantic, but the thought was nice. The idea of being together was very endearing to the blonde.
//That will happen when monkeys rule the planet and pigs fly in space. It's nice to dream.// The smile turned to a smirk as he watched Tai get distracted by a shop window. The brunette stopped in front of it and peered through the window, nearly pressing his nose against the glass in his eagerness to get a closer look.
Blue eyes took a moment to assess the other boy, watching as a slight breeze ruffled his hair, taking in the animated excitement on his face, and the pleasure in his eyes.
//Oops.// Matt was caught looking, and he felt a blush creep up his face. Tai didn't say anything, but there was a look of confusion on his face. //That must be the look I feel in love with. It's too cute to resist.//
"Come on, silly." Matt reached out and punched Tai on the shoulder in a friendly gesture. "At this rate, we'll never get to your place."
Whatever puzzlement Tai was feeling, he seemed to shake it off as he started off again, this time following Matt, who was a few steps ahead. The blonde cursed his luck at being unable to watch Tai from behind, but it was short lived as the brunette came up along side of him and slung an arm over his shoulders.
"You know what?"
"I know many things. What in particular are you thinking of?" In close proximity, it was a struggle of willpower for Matt to keep his voice even and his footsteps steady. It wasn't often that Tai was openly affectionate, even with his sister, so Matt was more than a little surprised to feel Tai squeeze his shoulders in a type of hug.
"You're my best friend."
"I knew that." Matt rolled his eyes, pulling away and slowing his steps until Tai released his hold. "I also know most of your deepest and darkest secrets, so don't try to butter me up. If you want something, ask."
The brunette tried to look innocent, but Matt knew the the look too well. //Don't even try it, Yagami. That act won't wash with me.//
"What makes you think I want something?" Tai asked, feigning indignation.
"Please." Matt quickened his steps again, forcing Tai to keep pace. "I know you too well. About the time you want something, you start reaffirming your friendship with everyone. The last time you wanted a soccer ball, you cleaned your apartment for your mother and tried passing it off as doing your 'sonly duty', end quote."
"Maybe I just want to let you know how much you mean to me." Now Tai was pouting, his arms crossed over his chest. Matt smiled, deciding that he looked adorable.
//As if.// The blonde slipped his arm around Tai's shoulders, ignoring the way he tensed up as if waiting for a blow. "Then I apologize. You're my best friend, too, Tai. You mean the world to me."
//And one of these days, if I ever have half your courage, I'd love to be more than your friend.//
~~~~~_____~~~~~
The apartment was empty when they arrived, not surprising. The high school was closer than the junior high, and both Yagami adults worked. Matt looked at his watch, judging that they had another ten minutes alone before Kari came home. While Tai dropped their bags in his room, Matt stood in the hall and smiled at the possibilities of what he could do to Tai in ten minutes.
"Matt? Yamato?" Tai snapped his fingers in front of the blonde's face. "Man, one of these days, your going to lose consciousness if you stop to think for too long."
"Unlike you, some people can think for long periods of time without their brains exploding." He smirked in triumph at his little insult, and proceeded to make himself at home, going into the kitchen for a snack and something to drink. Tai was chuckling behind him.
"I walked into that one." Matt nodded. //Yes, you did.//
"What are we going to do today? If we're just going to sit around doing nothing, I can go back to my place and do the same without having to put up with you." All thought there was nothing more he'd rather do than spend time with Tai.
Tai shrugged, pulling a chair out from the table and swinging it around so that he straddled it backwards. He looped his arms over the top and regarded Matt with an odd expression, one that Matt had never seen before and that he couldn't decipher.
"What do you think about when you're alone at night?" The question was asked out of the blue, but Matt had no time to think it over, because Kari chose that moment to make her entrance. She walked into the kitchen in her sock clad feet, and smacked Tai on the back of the head.
"Thank you, Tai. Because of you, I was late this morning. Now I have to stay after school tomorrow with Motomiya Daisuke of all people. Do you know, he purposely got a detention so that he could walk me home tomorrow?" Her voice was more aggravated than flattered, and Matt winced at the thought of the boy who was trying so hard to impress a girl that would probably never like him in return.
"You should be happy. If Daisuke is chasing after you, maybe TK will get jealous." He waggled his eyebrows at Matt. "And we all know what happens when boys get jealous." Matt smiled back, his mind looking at the innuendo, throwing
it out of his personal arsenal. He wanted Tai, but he was above playing little games to get him.
"Just ask my brother out, Kari." Matt suggested. "If you're dating TK, then Daisuke will get the message and lay off. He'll find someone else terrorize." He wasn't fond of either of the Motomiya's. Goodness knew that the older sister, Jun, had caused him enough trouble. He shuddered at the thought of all the things she had done to try to make him notice her.
Tai leered at him, catching his unguarded reaction when thinking of Jun and interpreting it correctly. "Matt's right, Kari. The Motomiya's can be very persistent when they want something. Jun's been after Matt for three years, and no amount of telling her he doesn't like her will get her to leave him alone."
Kari looked at Matt with a look that was sympathetic and determined at the same time. "You guys are right. I'm going to call him from our room, Tai, so stay out." She walked out.
"It's about time." Tai was grinning in satisfaction. "They've liked each other forever. I'm surprised it's taken them this long for either of them to get up the nerve to ask the other out."
Matt's blue eyes were speculative as he gazed at his best friend. Now that the distraction of Kari was out of the room indefinitely, he could study the question that Tai had proposed to him shortly before her entrance. "What was up with that question, Tai?"
"What question?" Tai's face was blankly innocent. Matt wanted to growl in frustration. If Tai had been opening up to him, and about to tell him, Matt, that his, Tai's, most intimate wish was for the two of them to be together, we would personally kill Kari for interrupting them. "It was nothing, Matt."
"I doubt that. If it was nothing, you wouldn't have asked." Matt pointed out. //Kari, I am so going to hurt you, girl.//
The smirk turned to a small frown on Tai's face as he looked away, his light brown eyes choosing to rest on a spot to the left of Matt's head. "I've been thinking lately. We're both sixteen, and neither one of us is getting any younger. Most of the guys on the team, and a lot of the guys at school all have dates, and are seeing people kind of regularly. It got me thinking about you and I lately."
//Please, please, please. This is where he tells me that he's lonely, but he doesn't want any of the girls at school. He'll tell me that he's realized that he's always loved me, and he wants us to be together.//
"We should start setting each other up with the girls that we go to school with, Matt. You could con a couple of your fans to go out with your best friend, and I can sort through all the girls in our class for someone that won't annoy the hell out of you."
Matt groaned, slumping against the counter weakly as the words that he most dreaded in the world came from his best friend's lips. Brown eyes watched him for a moment, the brunette frowning at his reaction. They were silent for a couple of moments, Tai confused, and Matt being oppressed by the realization that the time had finally come.
Kari reentered the room, wearing a large goofy smile. She hugged her brother and then Matt, glowing the entire time. Neither guy needed an explanation, they both knew how it would end up with her and TK. "He said yes! You two are the greatest!"
Tai smiled at her, but Matt was too busy staring at his best friend to do more than hug her back stiffly. "I told you so. I've been telling you for weeks to ask him out."
"I know, but I wasn't about to follow your advice. If Matt hadn't agreed with you, I wouldn't have asked." She smiled at Matt, who smiled back, his resolve being pushed back somewhat by her readiness to tease her brother. The conversation could wait until later.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
Later only lasted until the following morning, when Matt was acosted at the front entrance of his apartment building by a spiky-haired girl. Not that she had anything to do with the conversation with Tai the night before, except that it was Tai who pulled her off, and freed Matt long enough to learn to breath again.
He was drawing air into his lungs when his gaze connected with Tai's, and the brunette grinned at him. "See, if you let me set you up, you won't have to worry about this anymore."
"Set him up? Set him up! You can't! He's mine! I love you, Matt. We're soul mates. We belong together!"
Matt twisted his shoulders, trying to work out the kinks being in a Jun- size bear hug created. He pitied the girl more than he disliked her. It wasn't her fault that he would never like her. Her being not Tai her first offense, and her second being herself.
//That was harsh. You're really not that bad, Jun, I just can't stand you. Some day, some really nice, patient guy will come along, and you won't have to worry about gay assholes like myself who can't see beyond your rather obvious flaw of stalking me.//
Tai let her go as Jun began to swing and punch at him. Matt stepped between them, intent on stopping their fight before it escalated, in time to be punched in the gut himself. Jun stared at him in mortification as he grunted and brought his hands to his stomach.
She gasped, and turned around, running away as if the demons of hell would chase her down for her act. Tai grabbed Matt's shoulders and turned him around, ducking down so that he could look up into the blonde's face. "Man, are you okay?"
Matt nodded, grimacing. "She doesn't hit as hard as you do."
That got a small chuckle from Tai, as he brought one olive-skinned hand up to tenderly touch the bruise around Matt's eye. They stood for a moment, Matt speechless and afraid to breath, and Tai concentrating on something that was known only to him. "Does it hurt." His voice was a whisper as he traced a line around Matt's eye.
"Not really." In fact, with Tai's fingers on his skin, he was feeling very good. //Very good indeed.//
"We should get to school." Tai removed his hand, and turned around, picking his bag up from the ground where he must have left it when he saved Matt from Jun.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
The morning went quickly, leaving little time for Matt to think about much other than the assignments handed to him and the fact that all of his teachers were idiots. He was certain that he could get a better education from Izzy. On the other hand, the teachers might be better able to explain it. He sighed, his mind in a rut as he waited for the minute hand to finish it's rotation so they could go to lunch.
As the class filed out a minute later on their way to lunch, a body collided with his from behind, and he stumbled forward, grabbing the doorframe for purchase. Two hands met his back and pushed him through the door way, and he turned around angrily, ready to pound some unsuspecting person for being in too much of a hurry. Playful brown eyes met his, and he sighed.
"Figures that it would be you pushing your way around."
Tai only shrugged and grinned. "Have you thought about my offer?"
"No." Matt answered truthfully.
The brunette sighed in frustration. "Why not? If I can't find you someone that you'd like, how else will you ever find the perfect girl? I promise I won't set you up with some stupid giggling cheerleader."
Matt rolled his eyes. "Tai, shut up." The hall was nearly deserted, most of the students down the hall and around the corner as they waited in line at the cafeteria. "I can't accept our offer because no girl that you introduce me to will ever have my interest."
"What does that mean?"
//I should have known that he wouldn't catch on quickly. Come on, Tai, how obvious do I have to be?//
"It means that there isn't a girl in the world that I will ever find suitably attractive."
There was a perplexed silence for a moment, and then Matt watched as Tai's mouth dropped open and a surprised gasp filtered past his lips. "You're…"
"Yeah, that's one way of putting it." The blonde couldn't help but be amused. The stupified expression on Tai's face was priceless. It was another memory he'd have to cherish as soon as Tai came to his senses and decided to kick the crap out of him. His hopes in the area of Tai's acceptance were extremely low.
"And…"
"And what?"
There was another silence, and Matt's amusement faded quickly. He took a small step back, wanting to put space between them before Tai took it upon himself to do an all out attack that would probably end up with a very hurting Ishida Yamato.
"It's me, isn't it?"
"Yeah." There was no reason to deny it that Matt could see. His whole life had been leading up to this moment, this second in time when his emotions were exposed to the love of his life. In his dreams, this was the time that Tai reiterated his feelings, and they kissed and things became wonderful.
"I can't…"
Matt nodded in understanding. "I'll see you later, Tai. We should both get to lunch." He turned and walked away.
//There's still time. He didn't say no, and he didn't run away. No, I did that. Turned around and walked away from him.//
~~~~~_____~~~~~
The rest of the day was spent in agony. During class, Tai remained focused on the front of the room, leaving Matt clueless as to what he was feeling. After school, the blonde walked home alone, and set about doing his homework and practice. By the time his father got home, the house was spotless, and Matt was bored and stressed out of his mind.
For once, they sat down to dinner, something that didn't happen very often. Then, another shock to the day, Mr. Ishida suggested that they go shopping. TK's birthday was coming up soon, and neither had bought him a gift yet. Matt agreed, and they left, leaving the silence of the apartment behind them as they headed for the nearest shopping center.
When they returned a couple of hours later, there were no messages waiting for them, and Matt made his excuses and went to bed. As he lay in the darkness, staring up at the shadows on the ceiling shifted, the light through the window creating and changing them at will.
Tai's question came back to him, and he closed his eyes, drawing a picture of his friend from his memory. "What do you think about when you're alone at night?"
//I think of you, and I think of everything that you are to me, and all that we could be together. I think of where I would be without you, and then I thank whatever deity may be out there that I will never have to live with that alternative. I don't think that I would have survived life this long if it wasn't for you, Tai. I can only hope now that you realize that my friendship, if nothing else, means enough to move on, together.//
~~~~~_____~~~~~
One more period, one more switch of lecturers, and they could leave for the day. That's all it would take. Little over an hour more, and they would be free. Blue eyes turned to the right again, one row over and up, to stare at the side of his best friend's face. Matt sighed. His heart was surely breaking. They had managed an entire day without talking. He couldn't recall the last time that he and Tai had spent so much time apart.
//You're killing me, Tai. Don't do this, please. Ask me, and I'll deny it, if that's what you want. Tell me to take it back, and I will, as long as I don't have to lose you.//
The teacher was giving them funny looks. It wasn't often that two days in a row passed that she didn't have to yell at Tai and Matt. There was an uneasiness spread over most of the class, making the room feel oppressive and stuffy. All the students were feeling it, but none had realized yet that it was all caused by the two students in the room who were no longer on speaking terms.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
"Matt?" He turned around quickly, coming face to face with Tai. He had left the school, alone again, and started toward his apartment. To say that he was surprised to see his best friend waiting for him in his lobby would be an understatement
"Tai?" He took a step toward him, but stopped himself before he got too close. "What are you doing here?"
The brunette looked down uncertainly, his arms crossed over his chest almost defensively. He scuffed a foot against the foyer carpet. "I thought we could talk."
"Of course. You want to come up, or do you want to take a walk?" Matt offered, already turning toward the elevator Whatever Tai wanted to say, he obviously wanted to say it in private, and the apartment would be better suited for that. "My dad won't be home for a couple of hours."
"Your apartment." Tai nodded decisively, and then lead the way, as if it were his idea in the first place. Matt smiled slightly. After a day and a half of seeing Tai out of character, he was glad to see his friend taking charge again. It gave him a small measure of hope.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
"It really ticks me off that you didn't tell me, Matt." Tai started, the door barely shut behind the blonde as they faced each other. Tai stood in the hallway, blocking the way into the rest of the apartment as he talked. "We're supposed to be best friends, but you never bother to tell me that you're gay, and then what? You don't feel it necessary to tell me that you like me, of all people?"
"You're right. I should have told you sooner, and I'm sorry I didn't."
"That's not the whole thing, Matt." Tai sighed. "Can I get something to drink?"
"Since when do you ask?" Matt queried back. He wouldn't cower in front of his best friend. If there was one thing they had in common between them, it was their stubbornness and inflexibility. He would not give Tai the benefit of making him feel guilty.
//Even if that's not what he wants, he still won't get it!// Sometimes, anger and hurt had no logic.
The brunette removed a can from the fridge, thought better of it, and pulled a glass out of the cupboard and poured a glass of water. "So, out of curiosity, I have a couple of questions."
"Go ahead. I'll be as honest as possible."
"You like, lust after me? You want my body, and all those times that I've walked around half-dressed in front of you, you've gotten some kind of pleasure out of it? When you walk behind me, you stare at my ass, don't you? And the other day, when I asked what you thought of at night, your answer probably would have been having me on my hands and knees, or just on my knees for you, wouldn't it?"
"Fuck you, Tai." Matt snarled. "I don't know what stick crawled up your ass…"
"Maybe I don't put things in my ass, unlike some people."
Matt went on as if Tai hadn't interrupted. "…but get it out yourself. You have always been, first and foremost, my best friend. I wouldn't trade that in for much in this life, Tai. Yes, I love you, and yes, sex has occurred to me more than once, but it's obvious that I can keep my hormones under control, because I haven't jumped you yet."
"Yet."
"Shut up!" He let the anger get control of him for a moment, before shoving it back down, knowing that getting into a fist fight at that moment could be disastrous. "You want to know the honest truth, Tai? I have masturbated to the thought of being with you, of having you and being taken by you. You are the biggest turn on in my life."
His confession was met with silence, Tai's eyes wide, but whether the surprise was due to his honesty, or just the thought itself, Matt couldn't tell.
"But there's more to it than that, Tai. When I think of you, sex isn't always on my mind. I think of the way we are together, and the fun times that we have. The greatest moments in my life are spent just being in your company: talking to you and laughing with you. Being your friend since the Digital World has been the greatest experience of my life."
He paused, looked away with a tired sigh, most of the fight going out of him as Tai continued to stare at him.
"I love you, Tai. I think that I always have. And if I can't have more than your friendship, then I can only hope that I don't lose that much."
//Lack of response is a bad thing. Say something, Tai. Tell me that we can still be friends.//
"Things can't be like they were, Matt." Tai frowned, and leaned back against the counter. "Hell, I don't know anymore. There are a lot of speeches out there, Matt. We could talk about how wrong or right it is. We could discuss the reactions of our friends and family."
"I'm sure that there are any number of things that we could say." Matt agreed, leaning against the frame of the entryway to the kitchen. "What happens now, Tai?"
"I don't know. I really don't. I thought about it, all of last night. I don't think I slept more than two hours. The more I thought about it, the more obvious it seemed. I got so mad, Matt. I could see it in a thousand things. It's not like you ever really hid it, I just didn't see. That makes me madder than anything. How could I be so blind?"
"I've always said that you're not too bright, Tai."
"Shut up." The brunette smiled, shook his head, and grinned. "You can be such a moody ass at times, you know that?"
They smiled at each other, and both felt a little better.
"I'm not bringing you flowers." Tai said suddenly.
"So? You never have before, why would you start now?"
Tai rolled his eyes. "And I don't do all that romantic mushy crap, either."
"Well, duh, Tai. You're not telling me anything I didn't already know. No stupid romantic movies, and forget anniversaries, you can barely remember the date half the time. I'm not a moron, you know. I know better than to expect things like that from you."
"Even if we were dating?"
//Don't I wish.//
"Yeah, even then. Being together wouldn't mean changing who either of us are. We'd still be us, you and me." If Tai was considering an 'us', even in the smallest way possible, then there was hope. Matt felt his heart lighten at the thought that Tai could be thinking of the two of them as a possible couple.
They stood for a couple of minutes, not talking. Finally, Tai pushed away from the counter. "Isn't this the part where we seal it all with a kiss?"
"Seal all of what?" Matt feigned confusion, moving around the table so that it stood between him and Tai. He reversed the brunette's motions so that when Tai went one way, he went the other.
Brown eyes glared at the musician from across the table, and Matt couldn't help but smile. "Matt, get your scrawny arse over here."
"Can't do it, Tai. You haven't said everything I want to hear, yet."
"You know what, Matt?"
"I know a lot of things, what in particular would you like to hear?" Tai's eyes narrowed, and suddenly the brunette jumped across the table, his arms reaching for Matt. The blonde stepped back and way, trapped in the corner. The table, just a large chunk of wood held up by a thick column in the center, creaked under Tai's weight moments before it collapsed, dumping the brunette on the floor with a loud thud.
Tai groaned, rolling across the floor to stop next to the counter. Matt made his way cautiously to him, and knelt down beside him. Brown eyes opened, and settled on his face. "You're dad's going to kill me."
They looked at the table, now lying in two pieces on the kitchen floor, and broke up into laughter. Matt sat down beside Tai's body as the brunette sat up, leaning back on his arms. "Probably. Don't worry, I'll pick the flowers for your funeral."
"You know what?" Matt looked away from the mess in his kitchen to find Tai staring at him and leaning closer. He swallowed, but didn't shrink away.
"What?"
"I think I love you, too. It's just taken me an awfully long time to figure it out."
"Like I've said before, Tai…" His words were cut off by the pressure of Tai's lips on his.
//You're not too bright at times.// He finished in his head, his mouth otherwise occupied.
~~~~~_____~~~~~
End note: I hope ya'll liked that. It's a one-shot, like I said before, but if the reviews are good, I may, MAY write a lemon sometime before or during the summer time when I have more time. Now, back to your regularly scheduled program…