A PUFF OF DIGNITY, VOCALOID FANFIC
Summary: She sits by the window, and lights the last stick of cigarette from the box. Once it burns out, she should've by then decided if she must end, or keep on living the life she never wanted.
A failure.
One word that describes her entire being.
Many times she tried to keep it, at the same time wishing for it all to end. If it weren't for the people that have discouraged her to do so, she would've been gone a long time ago.
Every time she sees news on TV reporting about accidents and murder stories, she always imagines herself dying like them: accidentally without noticing it, or having other people do the
Job for her on their own will.
So she wouldn't havd to feel bad about not having to have said goodbye.
But no, she still had to deal with the luck of still being alive, physically.
Of course she's used to being alone, and boredom is a regular thing.
But right now-she has no idea what to do.
She gets out of bed, takes a shower, and eats breakfast.
She goes back to her room and sits by the window, reaching out to the pack of cigarettes on the table. She brings out the single stick left inside (just like herself, she bitterly thinks) and lights it.
Screw the fact that she just took a bath and brushed her teeth.
"After this, I'll know what to do," she thinks to herself.
The box of cigarettes was the only thing that's left of her brother.
Her brother -bless his soul - succumbed to losing his lungs to the cancer caused by the thing she's currently smoking. He was one of those people who stood by her, but the only thing she learned from him was to use the thing he left behind, which is a full, unopened box of his favorite brand.
Of course she hacked and coughed when she tried for the first time, and her throat hurt, but she got used to it.
After all, the pain she's been through was nothing compared to it.
And should she care about her throat when she can't even sing properly?
Well, a long time ago, she used to sing.
She learned to play the guitar at her early teenage years and even went to gigs at the bars, but she was always met with scorn and jeers and the repeating comments on her song covers a failed set of versions - in different ways said, but meaning the same.
She also wrote her own songs, but the management only allowed known song to be sung, and everytime she tried after her first song, she was always made to step out of the stage, by the audience or the management themselves.
The people there only wanted singers who dress like sluts and sing risquely.
And so, having had enough of it, she quit going to gigs and singing as well.
But to her luck, someone out of mischief took a video of one of her performances and uploaded it online ('Singer Fail' was the title) which garnered a variety of comments. Some said the same as the live audiences she had.
One day, there was a comment that said the opposite:
"It was okay, you morons. She plays the guitar well."
Said comment suffered the same fate as her singing did - it was showered with a lot of bashing, and soon enough the commenter's account was deleted.
TO BE CONTINUED...