Alright... Ki writing angst? Uh yes. I actually have 273 angst, hurt/comfort GC fanfics sitting on my harddrive, waiting to be turned into "readable" versions. Not all will show up here fo course. Some are just plain too weird to ever show them to anyone.

But a very good friend told me that if i like to do it, i should do it. So I will.

WARNING: This story will contain: Angst, drama, Hurt and comfort, possibly character death, boyslove, a little lime (the fanfiction definition),a lot of sensitive topics and possibly an OC or two.

The timelines will skip between Present Aernas and the time line in my Between The Lines Alternative Universe. You can find that in my profile.

First of all: While i really enjoy writing and reading angst, I absolutely hate it when there is no relief for the reader. There has to be light in a bad situation, otherwise it will stress the reader way too much. Some do enjoy that, I do not.

I will probably go with my OTP's and a few "standard" pairings.

Such as:

Lime X Rufus (Yes. SHE is the boss.)

Zero X Dio

Lass X Arme

There is also one "pairing" that I count under friendship, which is Sieghart + Arme. They don't get closer than a hug ot two, but they are pretty close in my headcanon.

However, The first one is Lime X Rufus and kind of sad, and angsty.

DISCLAIMER: None of the characters used in here belong to me. They belong to KoG unless i state otherwise.

Timeline: present Aernas

Characters: Lime, Rufus

POV: Lime in 1st person

He was tossing and turning, mumbling things I couldn't understand. Again. This was the fifth night this happened in one week and now I really wanted to know what was going on. Usually he would wake up sooner or later, make sure I was still asleep, then he showered and went back to bed. But this night I would confront him.

As expected he woke up after a while, looked around in confusion for a moment.

"Honey, are you alright?" I asked, trying to sound as if I noticed this for the first time.

He looked at me, red eyes glowing in the dark and they seemed so incredible sad that it hurt. I lit a candle on the small table next to the bed to have a better look. He swallowed hard, sweat covering his face and body. The white shirt he didn't bother to take off before he went to sleep was damp and sticking to his shoulders. He seemed confused and terrified. An expression you saw on him as often as Christmas had snow.

He ran a shaking hand through his brown hair and nodded with a deep sigh. "I... guess." He whispered, still staring at me.

I didn't know what else to do other than moving my arms around him. He quickly returned the embrace, almost as if I'd slip away if he let go. I felt his hot breath on my neck, his racing heart and his trembling body.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, pulling his blanket over his shoulders so he wouldn't get cold.

I felt him shaking his head, still holding me almost too tightly. "...Just nightmares... I'm alright."

I was running my hand over his warm and trembling back, taking in the scent of gunpowder. "What kind of nightmare?"

He sighed once more, kissed my shoulder below the thin nightgown I had thrown on before I went to bed. He had bought it for me not too long ago and I refused to wear it until he insisted that I did. It was made of creamy white silk, lavender and blue silk roses trailing down towards the end of the skirt and a fine line of light blue lace covering the hem. I was soft and beautiful, way too delicate to wear it so often. He never told me the price, but I knew it had to be worth a fortune. After all, silk was very expensive on its own already.

His kisses trailed down my shoulders, following my collarbone and leaving me shivering. He had that effect. When we started this he was awful at it, but I taught him, and by now he made me feel like no one else did. Sometimes I was scared that I wasn't able to give him what he needed.

"The usual stuff." He finally answered, licking my neck, teeth catching the necklace he had given me that one Christmas.

The usual stuff either meant nightmares about his lost arm, losing me or meeting his father and being unable to get answers out of him. Whatever it was, all of these situations brought forth nightmares. In the beginning he had them every night, but slowly it got less until they didn't come for a few months. Something must have happened that triggered them now.

"What stuff?" I muttered, trying not to get too distracted when his hands slowly reached under my nightgown and trailed up my thighs.

He looked up and a smirk made the fear in his face vanish. He never smiled honestly, and laughing was almost impossible. Sometimes I wondered if he had forgotten how to laugh. But this smirk, whenever he did it, I knew something made him happy.

"You getting pregnant." He breathed, not giving me time to answer him when he kissed my lips.

He had never brought up the subject of having children before. I mentioned it a few times, but he always told me that he was scared to involuntarily do what his father did and the subject was dismissed.

"Why is that giving you nightmares?" I wanted to know, having a good idea what was playing in his mind right now.

He backed away, hands resting on my bare shoulders, eyes sad again. "I... had them for a few days now..." he admitted, breaking eye contact and sighing deeply. "They ended with you dying while giving birth..."

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him close, unable to keep looking at his sad face. "Honey, I'm not going to die." I tried to reassure him, knowing it wouldn't work.

He swallowed hard, pressing his head against my should and shaking it, his brown wavy hair brushing against my cheek. "...I don't even want to think about losing you, Lime." He whispered, grabbing my waist. "The simple thought makes me panic... I... don't want to be alone again..."

He held me as close as he could without hurting me, his breath brushing over my bare skin. He panicked a lot lately, usually when I got hurt during a mission. Sometimes it was like he was obsessed with trying to keep me out of harm's way. I wasn't a very careful person to begin with, so a few scratches and bruises were pretty normal. I tried to keep them hidden, healing them when he wasn't looking. I didn't always work. Sometimes he got sick from worrying too much, stuck in bed with a high fever.

"You won't be alone, Rufus..." I whispered in his ear, resting my hands on his head and back. "I won't be there forever, but-" He flinched, and I felt something warm running down my back. "We still have many, many years we can spend together." He was silent, trembling madly now. I was almost sure he was biting his lip and trying to suppress more tears, hoping I wouldn't have noticed the first two.

He was crying a lot lately too. He locked himself in then, but his sobs could be heard through the door. It was hard for me to keep up my cheerful attitude after I had noticed that. We all were scared of ending up alone someday, but that was a risk we were willing to take in order to save Aernas from anything evil.

"Death is something I don't really understand myself, you know?" I tried to explain. "What's going to be left of us, of our mind, when we're dead? I really don't understand it."

"...The... souls are going to the underworld..." he muttered, voice cracking. He sniffed away some tears, probably giving up about trying to hide them from me. "Then...they get reborn... or executed..."

I forced a smile on my face. "See? So if I die I will be reborn. There is nothing to worry about... "

He shook his head once more, more tears running down my back, chasing the previous ones, the silk panties, matching my nightgown, greedily sucking up the fluid. "Rufus... enjoy what we have now. We don't know what tomorrow happens or the day after that or in a month or ten years. Of course it's scary, it scares me too. But you can't cry over something that hasn't even happened yet." I muttered, stroking his hair.

"And if I end up being pregnant, so be it. We have friends that can help if anything bad happens."

"I... don't want to lose you." He repeated, suppressing a sob.

"I know..." I whispered, letting myself fall down onto the sheets and pulling him with me. "I know, honey."

"What's left for me when you're gone...?"

I smiled, dragging the blanket over both of us and let my hands rest on his trembling back. "Maybe a beautiful daughter that looks just like me. Or a stingy and protective son that looks just like you."

He sighed in resignation, burying his head in my chest. "No one can be as beautiful as you."

"Then I will be with you until you find someone."

He chuckled, taking the hand I had placed on his hair and held it tightly. "...Will you marry me?"

I blinked. Did he just? We were lying in silence for a while, until his words finally sunk in. "Of course I will..." I whispered but upon not receiving a reply from him, I noticed he had fallen asleep again.

Men.