Why does everyone hate us?
Authors notes: Damn it I'm busy enough as it is. I don't need to be writing a fanfic right now and if I did right one I should probably want to try to focus my efforts on continuing Kuno vs the foul sorcerers. But I just couldn't resist this. I noticed that almost everyone (don't try to hide, you know who you are) hates Naraku, Kikyo (especially Kikyo) and Jaken. So I decided to write a parody fic about that. Personally I feel kind of indifferent to their characters but when I write fics bad things tend to happen even to characters who I like so for those of you who don't like these three don't worry they'll be getting some in this fic.
It was a bright sunny day and Inuyasha was walking down the street. He was in disguise so that thousands of sugar high fan girls wouldn't tear him to pieces. Inuyasha was disguised as the guy in the dark trench coat who's always on the neighborhood watch signs. A fat woman walked up behind him and said "Hey there fella. You look kind of suspicious to me. Don't be thinking of pulling anything funny around here, I'm on the neighborhood watch!"
"Oh shit! I mean I'm not a suspicious person!"
"You sound kind of familiar. You sound sort of like."
"I'm not Inuyasha! I'm just some suspicious person with no name, I mean I'm not a suspicious person and." Inuyashas hat blew off. "Oh shit!"
"It's him! It's Inuyasha!" screamed the fat woman. Hundreds of sugar high girls came out of nowhere. There was even one hiding under a manhole that tried to grab Inuyashas ankle as he ran away.
A black car swerved around the corner and it's door opened. Kagome was driving. "Inuyasha! Get in quick!" Inuyasha dove into the car and it sped away doing 80 mph.
Naraku was sucked on a lollypop he had just stolen from a baby as he watched them drive away. "Damn it! I'm a hot guy and a hanyou! I even have tentacles, which have been used for perverted purposes in some doujinshi! What's he got that I aint got?"
"Excuse me sonny.. Could you help an old lady across the street?"
"Why of course!" Naraku lead her toward the open manhole the fan girl had hid in earlier.
On a talk show in New York some security guards were having trouble holding back the audience. The talk show theme was undead people who love hanyous. Jakotsu was trying to hide from the fan girls behind his chair so he wouldn't be molested. Kikyou on the other hand was sitting on the other side of the room with no danger of being molested at all.
"Hey! Leggo! I told you I don't like girls! Renkotsu! Get me out of here!"
Renkotsu who had been dragged along with Jakotsu to see his big debut on day time television was sitting in the back row looking kind of board.
Jakotsu clawed his way out from under the horde of fan girls but was fighting a losing battle as he was being dragged back under. Kikyou approached him. She calmly asked, "Why is it that your so popular?"
"Ack.. don't ask me!" Kikyou knelt down next to him.
"You know, I've been on this show for much longer then you but I never got this kind of attention. Why is that? Were both undead, were both attractive. And we both have feelings for Inuyasha."
"Trust me it's over rated..." Jakotsu was dragged screaming away by the fan girls. Then a teenaged boy wearing black approached Kikyo.
"Hi.. Ummm kikyo.. Can I have your autograph?"
"You want my..." This had been the first time in four years since someone asked that question. And the last person who did it was actually trying to sell her insurance, which didn't make sense because she was already dead. "You want my autograph." Shojo anime flowers appeared around Kikyo as she said this.
Kikyo approached him but he pulled a pie out from behind his back and hit her in the face. "Haha! I hit Kikyo with a pie! Your next Bill Gates!" he ran away laughing like the deranged crazy person he was.
Kikyo had long held her image as the priestess of ice but this was the last straw. The ice cracked and she ran away crying "I hate my life!"
At Sesshomarus pent house
Rin was attempting to play catch with Jaken but the ball kept on hitting him in the face. Over the com Sesshomarus voice said "Jaken can I see you in my office right now. I have some things to discuss with you."
"Sesshomaru sama wants to see me!" the ball hit him in his face but it didn't faze him. "Can it be that my hard work has finally paid off!?!"
Jakens fantasy
Sesshomaru: Jaken! I never could have done it without you! Here, take this bag of money and this battle of toad wart removal as payment for your years of free labor.
Reality
Jaken walked over to Seshomarus office and opened the door. Sesshomaru had the back of his office chair turned to Jaken. "Jaken.. How long have we known each other? Three hundred years was it? I really can't say, being immortal makes it difficult to remember some dates."
"It was exactly 314 years, nine months, two days, three hours and sixty five minutes ago we met! I've never forgotten!" Tears were coming to Jakens eyes. "Jaken I don't like to beat around the bush.."
"Of course not! Lord Sesshomaru is so powerful any bush that dared to oppose him would be destroyed in an instant!"
"Jaken it's difficult for me to say this but I'm going to have to let you go." "Let me go? What do you mean?"
"Jaken, I'm going to be frank with you." Sesshomaru took out a pair of ray ban sunglasses and put them on his face. "I've made a lot of progress over these years, my own movie deals, action figures, you helped me get there, I'll give you credit for that. But all things must come to an end and it's time to let you go." Sesshomaru dropped a magazine in front of Jaken. It was a popularity pole of the main cast of Inuyasha. Inuyasha was # 1 with Sesshomaru coming in second.
"Do you know why I came in second place? Do you know why people burst out laughing every time we take Rin to school? It's because of you Jaken if this were feudal Japan I would probably kill you as I have threatened to do on numerous occasions. But for some reason it isn't feudal Japan so your fired instead." Sesshomaru said in his usual monotone voice.
Jaken began to complain and whine and throw a temper tantrum. Sesshomaru pressed a button and Rin came in. "Rin can you dispose of this?" He handed the flailing toad demon to her.
"Yea! Rins going to dispose of Jaken sama!" She said cheerfully as she took him out back and tossed him in the dumpster. As the dumpster lid closed Jaken screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" in the same sort of way as Pedro from Excel saga.
1 week later
Jaken was having a nightmare. He had just rented End of Evangelion the other day and he dreamt he was wounded on the beach like Asuka was at the end of the movie and Shinji started to choke him except Shinji had Rins face. "Rins going to dispose of Jaken sama!"
"Once he's out of the way I'll be number one!" Sesshomaru said in the background still sporting the ray ban sunglasses.
Jaken woke up with a start. "It was just a night mare! Sesshomaru sama! How could you do this to poor Jaken!" he said with tears in his eyes. Jaken was staying at Kikyos apartment until he could find a new place to stay.
"Another nightmare?" asked Kikyo who had just walked into the room. "It was horrible! Sesshomaru and Rin were both there! And they were going to dispose of me!" Jaken began to cry into his pillow.
"This is all so stupid. Just because were unpopular characters it doesn't mean people should treat us like this. The only reason why I'm unpopular is because I tried to take Inuyasha to hell once, and caused some relationship problems with Kagome. I mean hell isn't a bad place. It's actually pretty nice this time of year. And if Kagome and Inuyasha have a problem with me then that's their problem."
"Jaken is also misunderstood. He works very hard but no one likes him!" Jaken began to cry into his pillow again.
"Yeah. I'm also misunderstood. Whoops, looks like I accidentally knocked over your expensive vase Kikyo. I mean what did I ever do to deserve this?" asked Naraku who had just raided Kikyos fridge.
Both Jaken and Kikyo glared at him "Naraku, why are you in my apartment? Didn't I put a restraining order on you?"
"Yeah but the cops hate you too so they won't do anything to me. Can I eat all your food and use up all the hot water in your shower? Can I eat cake while I take a shower? Of course I can!"
"OF COURSE YOU CAN'T! WHERE'S MY BOW?"
"Whoops! It looks like I accidentally tossed your bow and all your arrows out the window. Of course it's not my fault. Nothings ever my fault! I'm a victim of lies and embellishment!"
"Naraku, the reason no one likes you is because you're a bastard."
"Whooops I knocked over your expensive looking clock."
"Naraku you bastard! And look at all those dirty dishes you made when you ate all my food behind my back! Clean those up!" Kikyo took Jakens staff and started bashing him over the head with it.
"All right! All right!" Naraku took out a hammer and sand paper. He literally tossed the dishes in the sink and began to sing "Break the dishes, smash the plates! That's what Kikyo really hates!"
"YOU BASTARD!" Kikyo began to bonk him over his head causing him to drop the dishes he hadn't already broken.
Suddenly there was an explosion of white smoke. When the smoke cleared there was a green penguin sitting where the cloud of dust had once been. "Hello everyone! I'm Penmaru. I'm a yokai who specializes in good PR. You people look like you could use my assistance."
"What?"
"You guys want to be as popular as your co stars right? I can help you if you pay me!"
"Jaken doesn't have any money because Sesshomaru sama fired me from my non paying job!" Jaken began to cry into his pillow.
"I'll tell you what. If you can't pay me by next year I'll take your soul and we'll call it even."
"Maybe.." Jaken began to consider it.
"I see you people are skeptical. That's good, it means you have brains.. Or something like that. But I anticipated that so I brought hard evidence that my good PR program works." Penmaru took a TV out of nowhere along with a VCR. He popped a tape inside. It showed a picture of some teenaged kid who looked like a hopeless loser. He was hitting on girls and getting the crap beaten out of him. This is Ataru Moriboshi, he wanted a girl friend but no woman would look his way. Here's a picture of him after he took my program.
Ataru was running away from something with a terrified look on his face. Suddenly a green haired girl with a tiger striped bikini flew out of nowhere and grabbed onto him shouting "Darling!"
"After my program he couldn't get away from this girl no matter how hard he tried! Gee I should have brought the tape with that pig-tailed boy who couldn't get in touch with his feminine side as well. To bad I forgot it."
"Are those lightning bolts?" asked Kikyo.
"So what do you say. Want to hire me?"
"I'll do it!" Jaken said with tears in his eyes.
"I guess I don't have anything to lose. Said Kikyo."
"And I want to have girls in tiger striped bikinis chase after me. Especially if it's kikyo in a tiger striped bikini!" said Naraku.
"It'll never happen."
"Never say never! My program can work miracles!" said Penmaru.
"Listen do you want me to take your program or not?" asked Kikyo
"Of course. Here's the deal. Before I came here I analyzed the reasons why everyone hates you guys. Kikyo, you got to stop trying to take Inuyasha to hell. I know it's a nice place but for some reason most people don't seem to think it is. So you should leave Inuyasha alone. Even if he approaches you, you shouldn't encourage him or more people will hate you. Here's what you need to do, Based on the Inuyasha fan fictions I've read, about 90 % of them are about how some person admits their feelings to someone and they become a couple. But there's a problem, all the main cast members are taken. If you tried to become a couple with Miroku all the Sango fans would try to kill you. Hmmmm this is a problem.
"Kikyo should become a couple with me!" said Naraku.
"Wouldn't work. They hate you as much as they hate her. If you became a couple it would just put two things the fans hate in one place so they could kill you easier. Hmmmm I know what this needs is some lesbian action! There are a lot of gay fan fictions especially in the Ranma section!"
"But I'm not a Ranma character and I'm not gay!"
"Your close enough!"
"But.."
"Listen do you want to be popular or not? Now let me see here. what female cast members aren't taken. Hmmmm Kaguras available..."
"I won't do it!"
"Do you want to go through life with everyone looking at you with their dead accusing eyes like a dolls eyes?"
"No, although I'm not sure what you meant by that.."
"Good, then do as I say and not as I do and everything will be ok!"
"Next is Jaken! I'm going to be honest with you. No one likes you because your small and ugly and a brown noser . I also happen to be an expert plastic surgeon and a psychologist so I'll have you looking and feeling like a million bucks in no time. Then when you're a bishonen or a bishojo as the case may be you'll have millions of fans trying to get your autograph too!"
"Oh thank you Penmaru! Sesshomaru will be sorry that he fired me when I'm popular!"
"Ahh and Naraku. Stop being a bastard."
"What did I do?"
"Never mind that. Try doing some good deeds or something. If you get Kagome and Inuyasha to confess their feelings the fans will love you."
"Heh! This should be easy! I don't need to do bad things. It's not like I'm an alcoholic or a chain smoker.I can quite..say Penmaru, do penguin yokai taste good barbequed? I mean, no I didn't ask that question! It was your imagination! I didn't just ask how you tasted! It was all your imagination!" Naraku hugged the penguin "See I'm a nice guy! I wouldn't eat such an adorable delicious looking penguin." Narakus face contorted into a crazed grin and his eye twitched.
"Your scaring me. Could you please put me down." Asked Penmaru.
"All right. There you go. I wouldn't dream of violating the personal space of such a tasty I mean tasteful looking bird." Trying not to do bad things already seemed to be taking its toll on Naraku.
"Uhh.. That's good, Kikyo, Naraku, you go do what I told you. And Jaken, you come with me!
Uhoh! What will happen to Kikyo, Jaken and Naraku? Will Kikyo have lesbian action? Will Jakens new look be a hair do or a hair don't?
Will Kagome and Inuyashas relationship survive Narakus attempts to do good deeds? (Canned laughter in background) stay tuned to find out in the next episode of "Why does everyone hate us?"
Authors notes: Damn it I'm busy enough as it is. I don't need to be writing a fanfic right now and if I did right one I should probably want to try to focus my efforts on continuing Kuno vs the foul sorcerers. But I just couldn't resist this. I noticed that almost everyone (don't try to hide, you know who you are) hates Naraku, Kikyo (especially Kikyo) and Jaken. So I decided to write a parody fic about that. Personally I feel kind of indifferent to their characters but when I write fics bad things tend to happen even to characters who I like so for those of you who don't like these three don't worry they'll be getting some in this fic.
It was a bright sunny day and Inuyasha was walking down the street. He was in disguise so that thousands of sugar high fan girls wouldn't tear him to pieces. Inuyasha was disguised as the guy in the dark trench coat who's always on the neighborhood watch signs. A fat woman walked up behind him and said "Hey there fella. You look kind of suspicious to me. Don't be thinking of pulling anything funny around here, I'm on the neighborhood watch!"
"Oh shit! I mean I'm not a suspicious person!"
"You sound kind of familiar. You sound sort of like."
"I'm not Inuyasha! I'm just some suspicious person with no name, I mean I'm not a suspicious person and." Inuyashas hat blew off. "Oh shit!"
"It's him! It's Inuyasha!" screamed the fat woman. Hundreds of sugar high girls came out of nowhere. There was even one hiding under a manhole that tried to grab Inuyashas ankle as he ran away.
A black car swerved around the corner and it's door opened. Kagome was driving. "Inuyasha! Get in quick!" Inuyasha dove into the car and it sped away doing 80 mph.
Naraku was sucked on a lollypop he had just stolen from a baby as he watched them drive away. "Damn it! I'm a hot guy and a hanyou! I even have tentacles, which have been used for perverted purposes in some doujinshi! What's he got that I aint got?"
"Excuse me sonny.. Could you help an old lady across the street?"
"Why of course!" Naraku lead her toward the open manhole the fan girl had hid in earlier.
On a talk show in New York some security guards were having trouble holding back the audience. The talk show theme was undead people who love hanyous. Jakotsu was trying to hide from the fan girls behind his chair so he wouldn't be molested. Kikyou on the other hand was sitting on the other side of the room with no danger of being molested at all.
"Hey! Leggo! I told you I don't like girls! Renkotsu! Get me out of here!"
Renkotsu who had been dragged along with Jakotsu to see his big debut on day time television was sitting in the back row looking kind of board.
Jakotsu clawed his way out from under the horde of fan girls but was fighting a losing battle as he was being dragged back under. Kikyou approached him. She calmly asked, "Why is it that your so popular?"
"Ack.. don't ask me!" Kikyou knelt down next to him.
"You know, I've been on this show for much longer then you but I never got this kind of attention. Why is that? Were both undead, were both attractive. And we both have feelings for Inuyasha."
"Trust me it's over rated..." Jakotsu was dragged screaming away by the fan girls. Then a teenaged boy wearing black approached Kikyo.
"Hi.. Ummm kikyo.. Can I have your autograph?"
"You want my..." This had been the first time in four years since someone asked that question. And the last person who did it was actually trying to sell her insurance, which didn't make sense because she was already dead. "You want my autograph." Shojo anime flowers appeared around Kikyo as she said this.
Kikyo approached him but he pulled a pie out from behind his back and hit her in the face. "Haha! I hit Kikyo with a pie! Your next Bill Gates!" he ran away laughing like the deranged crazy person he was.
Kikyo had long held her image as the priestess of ice but this was the last straw. The ice cracked and she ran away crying "I hate my life!"
At Sesshomarus pent house
Rin was attempting to play catch with Jaken but the ball kept on hitting him in the face. Over the com Sesshomarus voice said "Jaken can I see you in my office right now. I have some things to discuss with you."
"Sesshomaru sama wants to see me!" the ball hit him in his face but it didn't faze him. "Can it be that my hard work has finally paid off!?!"
Jakens fantasy
Sesshomaru: Jaken! I never could have done it without you! Here, take this bag of money and this battle of toad wart removal as payment for your years of free labor.
Reality
Jaken walked over to Seshomarus office and opened the door. Sesshomaru had the back of his office chair turned to Jaken. "Jaken.. How long have we known each other? Three hundred years was it? I really can't say, being immortal makes it difficult to remember some dates."
"It was exactly 314 years, nine months, two days, three hours and sixty five minutes ago we met! I've never forgotten!" Tears were coming to Jakens eyes. "Jaken I don't like to beat around the bush.."
"Of course not! Lord Sesshomaru is so powerful any bush that dared to oppose him would be destroyed in an instant!"
"Jaken it's difficult for me to say this but I'm going to have to let you go." "Let me go? What do you mean?"
"Jaken, I'm going to be frank with you." Sesshomaru took out a pair of ray ban sunglasses and put them on his face. "I've made a lot of progress over these years, my own movie deals, action figures, you helped me get there, I'll give you credit for that. But all things must come to an end and it's time to let you go." Sesshomaru dropped a magazine in front of Jaken. It was a popularity pole of the main cast of Inuyasha. Inuyasha was # 1 with Sesshomaru coming in second.
"Do you know why I came in second place? Do you know why people burst out laughing every time we take Rin to school? It's because of you Jaken if this were feudal Japan I would probably kill you as I have threatened to do on numerous occasions. But for some reason it isn't feudal Japan so your fired instead." Sesshomaru said in his usual monotone voice.
Jaken began to complain and whine and throw a temper tantrum. Sesshomaru pressed a button and Rin came in. "Rin can you dispose of this?" He handed the flailing toad demon to her.
"Yea! Rins going to dispose of Jaken sama!" She said cheerfully as she took him out back and tossed him in the dumpster. As the dumpster lid closed Jaken screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" in the same sort of way as Pedro from Excel saga.
1 week later
Jaken was having a nightmare. He had just rented End of Evangelion the other day and he dreamt he was wounded on the beach like Asuka was at the end of the movie and Shinji started to choke him except Shinji had Rins face. "Rins going to dispose of Jaken sama!"
"Once he's out of the way I'll be number one!" Sesshomaru said in the background still sporting the ray ban sunglasses.
Jaken woke up with a start. "It was just a night mare! Sesshomaru sama! How could you do this to poor Jaken!" he said with tears in his eyes. Jaken was staying at Kikyos apartment until he could find a new place to stay.
"Another nightmare?" asked Kikyo who had just walked into the room. "It was horrible! Sesshomaru and Rin were both there! And they were going to dispose of me!" Jaken began to cry into his pillow.
"This is all so stupid. Just because were unpopular characters it doesn't mean people should treat us like this. The only reason why I'm unpopular is because I tried to take Inuyasha to hell once, and caused some relationship problems with Kagome. I mean hell isn't a bad place. It's actually pretty nice this time of year. And if Kagome and Inuyasha have a problem with me then that's their problem."
"Jaken is also misunderstood. He works very hard but no one likes him!" Jaken began to cry into his pillow again.
"Yeah. I'm also misunderstood. Whoops, looks like I accidentally knocked over your expensive vase Kikyo. I mean what did I ever do to deserve this?" asked Naraku who had just raided Kikyos fridge.
Both Jaken and Kikyo glared at him "Naraku, why are you in my apartment? Didn't I put a restraining order on you?"
"Yeah but the cops hate you too so they won't do anything to me. Can I eat all your food and use up all the hot water in your shower? Can I eat cake while I take a shower? Of course I can!"
"OF COURSE YOU CAN'T! WHERE'S MY BOW?"
"Whoops! It looks like I accidentally tossed your bow and all your arrows out the window. Of course it's not my fault. Nothings ever my fault! I'm a victim of lies and embellishment!"
"Naraku, the reason no one likes you is because you're a bastard."
"Whooops I knocked over your expensive looking clock."
"Naraku you bastard! And look at all those dirty dishes you made when you ate all my food behind my back! Clean those up!" Kikyo took Jakens staff and started bashing him over the head with it.
"All right! All right!" Naraku took out a hammer and sand paper. He literally tossed the dishes in the sink and began to sing "Break the dishes, smash the plates! That's what Kikyo really hates!"
"YOU BASTARD!" Kikyo began to bonk him over his head causing him to drop the dishes he hadn't already broken.
Suddenly there was an explosion of white smoke. When the smoke cleared there was a green penguin sitting where the cloud of dust had once been. "Hello everyone! I'm Penmaru. I'm a yokai who specializes in good PR. You people look like you could use my assistance."
"What?"
"You guys want to be as popular as your co stars right? I can help you if you pay me!"
"Jaken doesn't have any money because Sesshomaru sama fired me from my non paying job!" Jaken began to cry into his pillow.
"I'll tell you what. If you can't pay me by next year I'll take your soul and we'll call it even."
"Maybe.." Jaken began to consider it.
"I see you people are skeptical. That's good, it means you have brains.. Or something like that. But I anticipated that so I brought hard evidence that my good PR program works." Penmaru took a TV out of nowhere along with a VCR. He popped a tape inside. It showed a picture of some teenaged kid who looked like a hopeless loser. He was hitting on girls and getting the crap beaten out of him. This is Ataru Moriboshi, he wanted a girl friend but no woman would look his way. Here's a picture of him after he took my program.
Ataru was running away from something with a terrified look on his face. Suddenly a green haired girl with a tiger striped bikini flew out of nowhere and grabbed onto him shouting "Darling!"
"After my program he couldn't get away from this girl no matter how hard he tried! Gee I should have brought the tape with that pig-tailed boy who couldn't get in touch with his feminine side as well. To bad I forgot it."
"Are those lightning bolts?" asked Kikyo.
"So what do you say. Want to hire me?"
"I'll do it!" Jaken said with tears in his eyes.
"I guess I don't have anything to lose. Said Kikyo."
"And I want to have girls in tiger striped bikinis chase after me. Especially if it's kikyo in a tiger striped bikini!" said Naraku.
"It'll never happen."
"Never say never! My program can work miracles!" said Penmaru.
"Listen do you want me to take your program or not?" asked Kikyo
"Of course. Here's the deal. Before I came here I analyzed the reasons why everyone hates you guys. Kikyo, you got to stop trying to take Inuyasha to hell. I know it's a nice place but for some reason most people don't seem to think it is. So you should leave Inuyasha alone. Even if he approaches you, you shouldn't encourage him or more people will hate you. Here's what you need to do, Based on the Inuyasha fan fictions I've read, about 90 % of them are about how some person admits their feelings to someone and they become a couple. But there's a problem, all the main cast members are taken. If you tried to become a couple with Miroku all the Sango fans would try to kill you. Hmmmm this is a problem.
"Kikyo should become a couple with me!" said Naraku.
"Wouldn't work. They hate you as much as they hate her. If you became a couple it would just put two things the fans hate in one place so they could kill you easier. Hmmmm I know what this needs is some lesbian action! There are a lot of gay fan fictions especially in the Ranma section!"
"But I'm not a Ranma character and I'm not gay!"
"Your close enough!"
"But.."
"Listen do you want to be popular or not? Now let me see here. what female cast members aren't taken. Hmmmm Kaguras available..."
"I won't do it!"
"Do you want to go through life with everyone looking at you with their dead accusing eyes like a dolls eyes?"
"No, although I'm not sure what you meant by that.."
"Good, then do as I say and not as I do and everything will be ok!"
"Next is Jaken! I'm going to be honest with you. No one likes you because your small and ugly and a brown noser . I also happen to be an expert plastic surgeon and a psychologist so I'll have you looking and feeling like a million bucks in no time. Then when you're a bishonen or a bishojo as the case may be you'll have millions of fans trying to get your autograph too!"
"Oh thank you Penmaru! Sesshomaru will be sorry that he fired me when I'm popular!"
"Ahh and Naraku. Stop being a bastard."
"What did I do?"
"Never mind that. Try doing some good deeds or something. If you get Kagome and Inuyasha to confess their feelings the fans will love you."
"Heh! This should be easy! I don't need to do bad things. It's not like I'm an alcoholic or a chain smoker.I can quite..say Penmaru, do penguin yokai taste good barbequed? I mean, no I didn't ask that question! It was your imagination! I didn't just ask how you tasted! It was all your imagination!" Naraku hugged the penguin "See I'm a nice guy! I wouldn't eat such an adorable delicious looking penguin." Narakus face contorted into a crazed grin and his eye twitched.
"Your scaring me. Could you please put me down." Asked Penmaru.
"All right. There you go. I wouldn't dream of violating the personal space of such a tasty I mean tasteful looking bird." Trying not to do bad things already seemed to be taking its toll on Naraku.
"Uhh.. That's good, Kikyo, Naraku, you go do what I told you. And Jaken, you come with me!
Uhoh! What will happen to Kikyo, Jaken and Naraku? Will Kikyo have lesbian action? Will Jakens new look be a hair do or a hair don't?
Will Kagome and Inuyashas relationship survive Narakus attempts to do good deeds? (Canned laughter in background) stay tuned to find out in the next episode of "Why does everyone hate us?"