i feel like i'm drowning in
this tension surrounding
me. it's suffocating.
i have always felt something- that
you were looking far away, at
something else; and that
i will never be good enough for anyone.
(let alone you.)
each and every day, i am
surrounded by hypocrisy and
plastic smiles; so much
that i'm used to it-
so much that it hurts.
i can pretend i never knew:
the petals of the flower of truth are falling,
so slow hardly anyone notices it.
life is a lie.
that's why
i can't figure out what's a lie
and what's not.
the truth comes and goes; like
the teardrops that evaporate from my
magazine in the convenience store
or contrails passing by.
i'm just hoping that i can see the truth-
even if only for a little while,
and it'll poke it's head round the door to my world;
just for me to know that it's there.