Of all things abominative

On a certain boring Saturday night a sudden herd of vampires surged into the TV room, laughing shouting, and howling, generally making the average vampire cacophony. Darren and Harkat had been peacefully watching The Simpsons when they had come crashing in.

In surprise Darren squawked like a bird then burned red with embarrassment. Harkat fell off his seat on the armrest in giggles then lunged onto a pair of fighting vampires.

'I will yank your hair out and sacrifice it to the gods,' he howled preparing to dig his little claws into the head of a wild vampire, but then looked down and said 'oh'.

He stared comically at the bald tattooed prince who was glaring up at him with a terrifying stare.

Darren, looking annoyed, yelled 'shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!' and ran around the room waving his arms about like a maniac.

Soon, a moment of hushed silent occurred, and 7 pairs of eyes landed on Darren.

Darren, taking his opportunity, screamed 'Harkat- get off Arrow, Mika STOP punching Kurda, Kurda seriously quit wailing like a baby or I'll skin you alive, Mr. Crepsley you are NOT spider man so get OFF the ceiling, and Seba if you dare to say the 'A' word again I will personally fling you into the hall of death myself. NOW LEAVE ME IN SOME FRICKIN PEACE!' Darren, red faced, stomped out off the room leaving behind a confused silence.

Then about 5 seconds after he had gone, the vampires began their screaming and fighting again, while further up in the mountain, Darren lay in his hammock nursing a headache. Damn those stupid vampires, he thought. They're so loud and boisterous I can't even hear my own thoughts.

The vampires had been locked in the mountain for a few years now, and they were getting as rusty and as mad as ever. Oh, the things that Darren would give to get them out... If only...

Then suddenly as quick as the vampires had come crashing in on his TV time, a little light bulb flashed in his head. He sprung up on his hammock and yelled excitedly 'I GOT AN IDEAAAA'. And no he didn't even think of all the terrible things that had happened when he often got an 'idea'. With great elation Darren jumped off his hammock and skipped down the tunnels, through noisy, sweaty chambers and rushed into the TV room. He stopped suddenly to find all the vampires doing what they were before, only this time Mr. Crepsley seemed to be stuck on the ceiling and was crying, Kurda was in the middle of the floor weeping into the dirty ground with his bum sticking up in the air, Mika and Arrow were spanking him, and Seba was head butting every 'abominable' thing he could find in the room. Poor little Harkat was cowering in the corner bawling his eyes out.

Darren's heart fell to the floor when he saw his best friend huddled up like that. Suddenly he felt angry all over again, but this time all he wanted to do was cry. Now he was sure his plan would never work. The mountain was over run by idiots.

Sighing dejectedly he stepped over to where Harkat lay and picked him and set him on his feet. He slipped Harkat a piece of candy and Harkat stopped crying and scoffed down the sweet hungrily. Meanwhile…

'WILL YOU GUYS SHUT THE FUDGESICLES UP?'

There was an immediate silence when all eyes snapped to Darren.

Then…

'Daaarreeennnn, they're bullying me!'

'What bit his butt?'

'Oh hello Darren, could you please help your mentor off the ceiling please?'

'Dude where's my sandwich?'

'Raaaawwwwrrrr' (actually that was Mika giving Kurda a dead leg).

'Shush, hush, be quiet, psstttt, SHUT YOUR GOBS!' Darren could hardly keep himself calm. 'I didn't come here to satisfy myself from watching you lot act like 10 year olds, I came here to announce something…'

Mika and Arrow dropped Kurda who was sniffling pitifully, and Larten fell off the ceiling with a loud thump. Harkat had finished his candy and was looking dolefully at Darren, while Seba and Paris grumbled to each other about 'announcements'.

Darren grinned- he was pleased that he at last had got their full attention.

'So,' he said. 'I've been thinking that we're kind of getting a little restless here, so I thought I'd treat you all to a small outing…'

Almost everyone groaned.

'Not another vacation!' Mr. Crepsley moaned grumpily while the others agreed with him by nodding their heads like bobbins. Kurda just whimpered and withered on the floor.

Darren sighed –'just hear me out please!' he said. 'It's not going to be a long vacation type thing, we're going bowling!' Darren snapped his hands in anticipation and grinned outwardly at the confused faces around him.

'Bowling?' Arrow asked, scratching his bald head.

'Is that like, like… making bowls?' Kurda said blankly. If that was the case then he for sure wasn't going with them! Not in a million years would he dream of getting bits of clay stuck under his perfectly polished nails.

Then…

'Making bowls?' Seba cried ludicrously. He doubled over with laughter and slapped his thigh. 'I will not carry out such an abominate act! Never!'

Then Mr. Crepsley began laughing too.

'Bowling is for pansies,' he cried with tears streaming down his cheeks. 'What do we need bowls for? We are creatures of the night! Rawwr!' He imitated something of a fierce creature, but pretty much ended up looking like a pathetic excuse of a vampire. The rest of the vampire gang began to laugh as they thought of the hilariousness of it- even Harkat was laughing now.

Darren felt appalled. They were laughing at one of his most favourite game, and he hadn't experienced anything human in AGES. His face betrayed his feelings and slowly the vampires deceased their laughter.

'What is wrong Darren?' Mr. Crepsley asked. 'Come on boy, it does not sound stupid to you?'

'Bowling. Is. Not. Making. Bowls!' Darren growled. Flames of anger and despair exploded in his head as he tried to keep him self from killing everyone in the room.

Then slowly, and almost painfully, Darren explained the concept, the 'oh so wonderful' concept of bowling. As Darren carefully pronounced the words out, the facial expressions of everyone changed. The Mika and Arrow heard about throwing balls they whooped and high fived, when Mr. Crepsley and Seba realized the concept of the game they grinned evilly at each other, and when Kurda found that his carefully manicured nails would have to be shoved into three holes he squeaked and half fainted.

Harkat simply just said 'yay!'.

Hi guys, my name is Lina and I've been allowed to write a TVF of my own. I really hope you like my efforts of writing one. Please review

Love M

Xxx

Thankyou to roxypony for writing the other TVFs

xxx