Skinny love
Come on skinny love just last the year, I tell my love to wreck it all, And I told you to be patient, Who will love you? Come on skinny love
Pour a little salt we were never here,
My my my, my my my, my-my my-my...
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer.
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall,
My my my, my my my, my-my my-my...
Right in the moment this order's tall.
And I told you to be fine,
And I told you to be balanced,
And I told you to be kind,
And now all your love is wasted,
Then who the hell was I?
'Cause now I'm breaking at the bridges,
And at the end of all your lies.
Who will fight?
And who will fall far behind?
Hey guys :)
I'm so happy to present you this Story it will be up in three parts, it's written by me, but my best friend Friedi had the best ideas (She saved me from writing something incredibly stupid, Love to her!)! The theme song is "Skinny love" by Bon Iver (covered by Birdy). It includes Suicidal thoughts and bulimia (O.o), so don't read it if it could trigger you. It's kind of Kurt's AND Blaine's AND Rachel's POV, I couldn't make up my mind ;) and is set after Kurt went to NYC and Blaine had this crush on Sam. But it's kind of AU, because Kurt and Blaine never got together. Um, yeah, you'll see :)
Enjoy and please tell me what you think! (Btw, everybody reading my other stories: I WILL upload something in the next time, but probably sometimes after Christmas, I'm kind of stressed with it, so sorry)
Love and Thanks for reading!
Josy
Kurt Hummel has never been a person without self-confidence.
Yes, he has been bullied his whole life for just being himself, but he never stopped actually being himself.
He kept running his life, doing the things he liked, ignoring the people he hated and loving the ones he liked.
Well, actually there was only one. One guy he wanted to love, to hold, to kiss and to be with.
Blaine Anderson, hottest and at the same time cutest guy in the world. He had gentle hands, a smile like the Cheshire-Cat, huge hazel-green eyes, cute curls…
And a huge crush on their friend Sam Evans.
And in the moment Kurt realized that, he knew, there would never be a happy ending for him.
It was on a Saturday afternoon, when Kurt was over from NYC. They had spent the whole day watching movies and chatting about the newest Vogue, when Blaine had the idea of showing Kurt their last Performances. At first Kurt was truly excited, but then Blaine put on their "Applause"-performance and Sam came on stage wearing nothing than some huge Wings and black tight pants.
He glanced at Blaine, whose eyes were practically glued to the screen, and sighed.
"You really like him, don't you?" Blaine nodded furiously and blushed a little.
"Yeah I do. I mean, I know he's straight and all that, but… how could I not? Look at this body, Kurt, everybody looks like nothing compared to that!"
It felt like he had cut his heart with a sword. Kurt hesitantly looked down his chest and abdomen. It did look like nothing.
No muscles, no nice skin tone and girly gay-stereotype clothing.
"Are you okay, Kurt? You look pale."
That too.
"Yeah, of course, I'm okay."
Probably ugly and fat, but okay.
Blaine smiled and returned his attention to the TV.
And in this moment Kurt made a decision.
He had to do something against his ugliness.
For Blaine.
Two months later
"Kurt? Everything alright? You were in there for about an hour, I have to pee!" Rachel shouted from outside of the bathroom, knocking loudly on the door. Kurt stood up and wiped his mouth.
"One minute, Rachel!" She groaned in frustration and he heard her steps disappear into the kitchen. Kurt smiled sadly.
Putting your finger down your throat isn't that easy, you know Rachel? It's hard, actually. It takes some time.
He flushed the toilet, splashed some water in his face and took a deep breath while taking out his toothbrush.
The taste of vomit was still disgusting, even after three months of tasting it nearly three times a day.
But he hadn't lost as much weight as he wanted. He needed to do more sport.
When Rachel finally got to use the bathroom, she looked at him suspiciously. But he just shrugged, smiled and walked into his room to change into something sportier.
Rachel waited until he closed the door behind him and sneaked to his room, pushing the door open a little with a quiet squeaky noise so she could look at Kurt.
And when she saw him shirtless, just yet pulling his shirt over his head she gasped.
She would have thought about his torso in this moment, but there just wasn't any. It was like looking at broken bones or strangely carved stone, it looked surreal.
Kurt was so, so skinny.
His elbows, shoulders and ribs looked like the bones were only covered up with a thin layer of skin. His whole body looked like skin and bones. Every rib and every bone was clearly visible making Kurt look more vulnerable and sad than he ever did.
A single tear slipped down her cheek when she silently made her way back to the livingroom.
She needed to tell someone.
What the hell was happening to Kurt?
Just at the same time Blaine Anderson had a problem. A huge problem in his opinion.
The problem was a girl. A girl named Penny Owen, looking heavenly beautiful, loving Katy Perry and Bruno Mars and having a preference for blonde hair.
And Sam wanted to meet her.
Blaine sighed. I all had happened at Lima Bean when she had ran into him and had apologized like a thousand times. Blaine had only laughed and they had met a few times after that. And he knew from the first moment she was the one.
The one girl sent by God to be Sam Evans' girlfriend.
But he wasn't going to lose this battle.
They could never meet.
Right when he made this decision, his phone buzzed.
"Hi?"
"Hi, Blaine. It's Rachel."
"Hey, what's up dear?" There was a brief silence.
"Well, it's … um, it's about Kurt." His heart did a quick stutter.
"W-what's wrong with him, is he-"
"He's just… I came into his room today and … I saw him shirtless." Blaine sighed in relief.
"Oh my God, I thought-"
"No, that's not it."
"What is it Rachel?"
"He's skinny. Like way too skinny."
"What do you mean?"
"You know, he didn't eat much and… the bathroom smelt strange. Like vomit."
"You think-"
"Yes, I do." Blaine thought for a moment.
"I don't, Rachel. Look, Kurt's always been skinny, I think you're reading too much into this."
"O-okay?"
"Come on, Rachel, relax." She sighed.
"Okay, Blaine. See you around some times?"
"Of course. Bye, Rachel!"
"Bye." She hung up.
Blaine frowned and tried to get the image Rachel did just create out of his mind.
Kurt wouldn't.
… Would he?
One week later
Blaine put his phone away and frowned confused.
He had called Kurt and told him about Penny and his problems but in the moment he mentioned her and Sam, Kurt told him he had to go.
He had sounded like he was crying.
Huh, weird.
Right when he wanted to do something else, his phone buzzed and showed a text from Penny, inviting him to the Lima Bean in about an hour.
Well, he could use a good distraction.
She was sitting at a table in the back when Blaine arrived. She smiled and waved and he grinned, sitting down next to her.
"Hi! I bought you coffee!"
"Hey! Thanks, you didn't have to. So what is our topic today?" She laughed a little.
"Well, I don't know anything about your friends yet, so…"
"Umm… yeah, there are Artie and Tina… and Rachel…" and Sam "Oh. And Kurt." He smiled when he thought of his best friend. Penny raised an eyebrow.
"Sounds like someone special…?"
"Oh, he is someone special! He's everything. He's kind and funny and sweet and kind of bitchy sometimes." He giggled a little at that. "And he is always there if I need him and has a solution for every problem and besides that, he is beautiful. He looks like an angel." Penny smiles wide.
"I'm sure he does. And how long have you two been together?"
"WHAT?" He feels the heat rising up in his cheeks. Why the hell would she think that, he weren't… were he?
"You… aren't together?"
"No, he's my best friend."
"But you are in love with him, right?" She looked kind of confused.
"Ummm… Why would you think that?"
"Because you just told me he's kind and sweet and beautiful?"
"Oh." His head was spinning. Was he… Was he in Love with Kurt? His heart did a quick stutter at that.
Oh. He probably was.
Penny smiled.
"So?"
"I… I guess, I just didn't realize it."
"Glad I could help! And now you go to New York and live happily ever after." She smiled happily.
"Umm… I could, I guess… If he loves me too."
"You will have to find out! Go for the weekend, it's Friday tomorrow…"
"Okay." He smiled and then took a deep breath.
"But first: Do you want to meet one of my friends? His name is Sam."
The next day in New York
"Kurt? I'm home!" Rachel put her bag in a corner.
"Hey, I know you're here! What's up? Everything okay?" She opened the door to his bedroom and saw him lying on his bed.
"Hey sweetheart, are you sleeping?" she sat down on the bed next to him. He looked paler than usual.
And then she saw it.
An empty box next to him.
Sleeping pills.
"Oh my fucking god!"
Yeah, cliffhanger xD
… Tell me what you think?
Love and kisses,
Josy