Apply this to whoever is secretly on you or your favorite character's heart...
I didn't intend for this to happen, I swear I didn't. It snuck up on me like some kind of night creature and attacked before I could even think to defend myself. Hell, I didn't even realize that I needed to guard myself until it was much too late…
There was never that one moment of discovery, that "Ah ha!" moment that you feel when you finally figure out that problem that has been turning over in your head and driving you crazy for weeks. To tell you the truth it scared the hell out of me to wake up one day with a lump in my throat and a weight in my chest. To discover that inoperable tumor that had secretly carved its place in my body, continuing to consume more of me everyday. The pain that it causes me can only be described as heartbreaking but somehow I manage to put on a smile, trying to convince everyone that I'm not slowly dying inside.
I am so afraid that someone will see it, that you will see it. It feels so blaringly obvious. No one can know the battle that is raging inside. I don't want you to pity me, that's not the emotion I want…
How no one, how you, haven't noticed is beyond me. The smiles, the masked pain, the sadness in my voice…'How can you not see it?!' I sometimes want to scream, only to realize that you knowing scares the hell out of me. If you only knew the number of times that my mouth opened and the words nearly spilled out…then again it's probably best you didn't.
The only thing that keeps me going, keeps me sane at night as I lay down to go to sleep, is that I know one day, soon, I will have the courage to tell you that I shamelessly, irrevocably, passionately, truthfully, undeniably, completely…
"I love you."