Title: Unfaithful
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin BBC does.
Summary: the title says it all
Unfaithful
"Arthur?" the young man called out as he walked into their shared apartment. He had just come back from a rough day of his medical classes and wanted nothing more than to spend time with his partner.
He placed his backpack on a nearby chair before gracelessly plopping himself onto the couch relaxing into the soft material.
"You're home early." His boyfriend remarked as he made an appearance from the direction of their bedroom.
"Lab was cancelled for today." He smiled turning towards Arthur and was pleasantly surprised to see him dressed up. He was wearing nice black slacks, and a casual long sleeve button down red shirt. His blonde hair was somewhat combed, and all together created an image that was lovely for anyone to admire.
"You're looking nice." He smiled, then proceeded to sit up and pulled his lover in close for a kiss.
"Merlin" Arthur said before the pale man could continue. "I really need to get going, or I'll be late."
"Oh." Merlin had just the slightest look of dejection but immediately smiled up at him again. "Okay, where are you off to?"
"I'm going out with some of the guys, you know they're saying we should go drink and celebrate that the season ended well. But I can stay if you'd like to spend some time together?" They both knew that the last part was a lie, and Arthur would find a way to go out either way.
"No, go have fun. I've got loads to study for anyways." He once again beamed up and gave him a reassuring rub on the shoulder.
Arthur's heart gave a slight tug as he slowly nodded and gave his dark haired lover a chaste kiss. "Don't wait up, okay?" he gave him one last look before grabbing his coat, keys, and wallet. "I love you." He said mechanically as he left the apartment.
"I love you too." Merlin whispered after he heard the door close. He couldn't help but let a few of the tears fall. He lay down again, grabbed Arthur's favorite pillow inhaling the somewhat comforting scent, trying to convince himself that his doubts had no logic. But in the back of his mind, he knew full well that his boyfriend wouldn't be seeing the rest of his team. He'd been coming up with excuses for several weeks now, but Merlin knew perfectly well that he was slowly losing his love to another.
~*~*~*
He couldn't help the guilt that creeped into him every time he walked out of the apartment knowing full well it was to go into the arms of another. Merlin had been with him for many years, through thick and thin. It wasn't until a couple of days ago that he realized his lover was aware of 'the other one', it was clearly written across the younger man's face.
Even now as he fed him another lie of meeting up with his team mates, he could see the hidden pain in those deep blue eyes. He remembered promising the other man that he would never let anyone put that look of hurt in his eyes again. Now here he was driving on his way to meet the person that was helping him slowly destroy that same man he'd given an oath to.
A part of him wanted Merlin to lash out, and confront Arthur on the topic. He wanted him to scream and tell him that he didn't ever deserve his love. But Merlin wouldn't, it would take something drastic for him to outright say that he was aware that his suspicions were real. Sometimes he found himself wishing that Merlin wasn't so good to him, he found himself thinking that he would deserve to be treated like crap after everything he'd done to the younger man.
His self tortured thoughts stopped as soon as he walked into the restaurant and spotted his lover. He flashed a grin at them before immediately walking over and kissing their soft tan lips. His lover looked at him with pure happiness decorating their features, the blonde felt his heart give a jump knowing that he always wanted to be the person to make his sun tanned lover smile.
"I love you." He whispered in their ear, and couldn't keep the goofy grin off his face when he was responded with an "I love you too."
~*~*~*
Merlin had decided that there was really no reason to cry when it was nothing more than speculation that caused the fear to sting his heart every time Arthur lied about his whereabouts. He knew that there had to be a good reason, and he also could perhaps be doing some event with his fraternity, and everyone knows how much Greeks care about their privacy.
He'd already studied most of the night when he decided it was time to retire and sleep. He gathered his things and placed them all on top of the coffee table in the middle of the living room before getting himself ready for bed.
As he moved the sheets aside and settled himself in he couldn't help but take a quick glance at the clock whose red letters stood out reading 4 AM. He felt a worry that started to rise, but he knew that Arthur would be fine, and soon he'd be home.
He was about to float off into sleep when he heard the bedroom door creek open, and the soft footsteps of his prince echoed in the room. He heard the shuffling of Arthur moving around to get ready for bed as well, and the rustling of his clothes. He crawled in besides Merlin, pulled the lean boy into himself and began to snuggle.
"How was it tonight?"
"I thought you were asleep already?"
"I had to stay up late doing homework." He felt Arthur shift as he leaned over to look at Merlin.
"Well get some rest, you have a rough week ahead." Arthur said as he placed a contented kiss on the pale forehead of his dark haired boyfriend. Merlin inhaled and could smell the scent of the other on Arthur mingled with his own scent.
"I will." Merlin nodded as he made sure to completely face away from Arthur as he felt the tears well up in his eyes. He felt Arthur lie back down and snuggle against Merlin's back. He listened until the blonde's breath became even signaling his drift into sleep. Merlin wouldn't find sleep that night as the wall of denial started to crack, and he was realizing that his suspicions had some validity to them.
~*~*~*
"You're a prat you know." Merlin said smugly as he turned to give his boyfriend an irritated glare.
"Now Merlin, we both know that you're the girl in this relationship but that doesn't mean you have to act it." Arthur received a playful smack at the remark and couldn't contain his laughter as he caught his lover in his arms and gave him a forceful kiss.
"You know it's very hard to stay mad at you when you go and do things like this." The skinny male said as he went in for another one.
He could feel his heart give a huge beat as Arthur looked at him with such love, he didn't think anything in the world could ever feel as amazing as seeing the look in the Prince's eyes.
"Merlin … Merlin!"
"Merlin!" Morgana said a bit louder than she had intended. She had decided to walk to the back of the library in search of a book when she noticed a mop of messy black hair that she recognized. She walked over to find a sleeping Merlin inside one of the library cubicles.
'Poor boy' she thought knowing that dead week was approaching which meant that most of his professors would be pouring all the work and knowledge they had failed to get to during the past few months of school. She couldn't even imagine what he was feeling when she saw those pictures on the magazine that was obsessed with following the royal family. She like most of the people who were actually close to Arthur and Merlin knew it was total bullocks but the stressed out young man in front of her didn't need any additional problems. She shook him slightly which proved efficient, as his head quickly snapped up.
"What , I'm awake." Merlin slurred loudly. He wasn't very coherent when the most sleep he'd had during the past five days was about 6 hours.
"Merlin, how long have you been here?" the brunette asked as she pulled up a chair.
"Since Sunday." He responded groggily as he yawned, and stretched.
The dark circles around his tired blue eyes caused a frightening contrast to his pale skin, giving him the look of a dead person, or one of the cancer patients she volunteered with.
"Come on, you need to go home and get some rest." She said as she started to pile his books together.
"Morgana, I appreciate the concern but I have loads of work that still need my attention."
"Merlin, you are going to go home, sleep,and I am going to prepare you and Arthur dinner. You are going to eat, then go back to sleep. If I feel nice I might let you study, now, do I make myself clear?" He was about to protest when her infamous glare was sent in his direction which immediately caused him to close his mouth before he said anything he would regret. Taking it as a sign of acceptance Morgana grabbed his belongings and lead Merlin towards her car to take him home.
"So how has my dear brother been treating you?"
He noticed the sarcastic inflection on the dear and tried hard not to laugh. "He's been good, just busy so we haven't spent much time together." He felt his eyes sting as he remembered why he'd been spending so much time in the library. After he saw the magazine he didn't want to confront Arthur, because he knew those pictures had to be photo shopped, and besides you could barely see the other persons face. So yes, of course those bastard Paparazzi were going to try and screw with their relationship. He shuddered as he recalled when their attention was focused solely on them at the start of their relationship.
"Is anything going on?" Morgana inquired as she made a turn into the driveway.
"No, we're good." He added one of his well-known smiles, anyone who didn't care about Merlin would have seen joy, but Morgana saw the muscles give the right indication of a joy that didn't quite reach his eyes, and she knew that something was amiss.
"Alright then, off you go to bed, I'll wake you when it's time to eat." Merlin gave her a grateful hug before opening the door and retreating into the bed room as she set off into the kitchen.
~*~*~*
Arthur had just come from a delightful lunch with his secret lover, and couldn't have been in a better mood. Neither of them were too happy when their picture had been taken in that damned magazine, but the photographer's picture was poorly taken giving his lover's face an unrecognizable distortion, so most people thought it was photo shopped. He remembered hearing whispers of "They should be ashamed of themselves", and "haven't those two boys been through enough?" He was hoping that Merlin actually remembered to clean the house being that it was his turn. He saw Morgana's BMW parked in the driveway reserved for him. He walked inside the apartment and the smell of a home cooked meal caught his attention.
"Morgana, what are you doing here?" he asked as he saw her cooking her famous Le Fay Spaghetti."
"I'm cooking you idiot." She stated as she smacked him upside the head.
"I didn't expect to see you here." Arthur said as he rolled his eyes at her violence.
"I wasn't expecting to either but Merlin looked like he was about to keel over so I decided to take care of him for a change."
"Merlin?" Arthur hadn't noticed anything strange, but then again Merlin didn't seem to be home at the same hours as him.
"Yes Merlin, you know him don't you, pale, skinny, black hair, in love with an arsehole?" she started to laugh as Arthur sent a glare in her direction which she decided to ignore.
"What did he do this time?"
Morgana's mouth dropped, had Arthur any idea that his partner had been crammed in a library cubicle since Sunday, and from the looks of him the only time he left was to go to class.
"You do realize he's been at the library since Sunday. From the looks of him I'd say he hasn't slept or had a full meal since Saturday's get together."
Arthur looked like he'd just been slapped in the face.
"I didn't notice." He responded remorsefully.
"How could you not notice your lover gone for five days? You bloody live with him Arthur!" Morgana's eyes narrowed as she saw the guilt written all over her stepbrother's features.
"Listen Morgana I-" his explanation was cut short as his cell phone rang.
"Hello … yeah we're good for tonight … listen I've got company but we'll talk later."
"Who was that?" she inquired.
"Just a work colleague, needs some extra pointers on a project."
"Oh really?" she didn't seem convinced, and Arthurs flickering emotions were all she had to see. "Arthur Pendragon, if you are doing anything that will hurt Merlin you'd better stop or I will personally be the primary surgeon at your castration."
"I think you're reading too much into this." He said not being able to hide the truth from her.
"You're having an affair aren't you?" she asked as she looked towards the room where Merlin was currently knocked out from exhaustion. "You ungrateful-"
"I've got a meeting with my father. I don't have time for these absurd accusations." He felt a hard slap that caused his head to turn so hard his neck gave a protesting pop.
"You don't deserve his blind loyalty, or love for that matter." She said in disgust.
"Listen I don't have to explain myself to anyone, and least of all you." He slammed the door shut as he headed out.
~*~*~*
He didn't really have a meeting with his father, it was just that the fact his foster sister thought she could intrude upon his life never sat well with him. The last words she spoke stung as he kept seeing the kind trusting eyes of Merlin. He loved Merlin, he knew that now more than ever, each time he walked out the door and saw the man he loved die a little more, each time he came back and could feel the slight tremors in his body as he tried to hold back the sobs of grief. Each time he looked into those eyes, and the hurt was evident even though Merlin was obvious trying to hide it.
He loved Merlin, but he couldn't stop himself from committing the crime of betrayal with his newfound lover. He could feel the desire rush through him as he imagined the exotic tan skin, the dark eyes, and waves of dark hair that he loved to run his fingers through. The betrayal that they both knew they were committing against a lover and friend. He felt the tears in his own eyes as he thought of Morgana's shock when he confessed that he hadn't realized Merlin hadn't been home. Merlin could have ended up hospitalized from exhaustion again and he would have never known. He'd fallen so low that the one person who mattered more to him than anyone else in the world was going back to his old ways of coping with depression and he had yet to recognize them. He was slowly murdering his love on the inside, and that was something that he was going to have to live with. There would be serious consequences that nobody would be prepared for, and Arthur would have to accept the responsibility that he was the one who led Merlin to take any irrational decision he could possibly have.
He found himself in front of his old home, he could barely remember living in the palace with how small his apartment was in comparison, he decided to see how his father was fairing, in hopes that he could find the justification he longed for. It turned out as well as he expected with the exception that before he left Uther seemed to have some important advice for his son.
"You know, when I first met Ygraine I never thought I'd ever contemplate a relationship with another woman. I never thought I could hurt her in that manner, Nimueh's seduction showed to be a challenge that I was able to overcome with just one look from your mother." Arthur tensed suddenly uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed. "Son, do yourself a favor. I will never approve of your relationship with the boy but I know the idiot cares deeply for you. People like him don't come around very often; that devotion he has towards you is rather remarkable, make sure you deserve him as much as he deserves you."
Arthur was at a loss for words but found himself nodding nonetheless. It seemed that the only people who could see right through him were those who'd been around since his childhood, when he'd started his early training to walk in his father's big shoes. He thought he was able to hide how he truly felt, but Uther and Morgana could always figure out what he'd been up to just by looking at him in the eye.
~*~*~*
Both Arthur and Merlin knew that this get together was a bad idea, not only was it going to be awkward but they were going to have to put up a front so none of their friends could suspect the unspoken problems their relationship was struggling with.
"You ready?" Arthur asked as looked towards the passenger seat.
"Yeah." Merlin said calmly, but the way he kept wringing his fingers told a different story.
"I love you, you know that right?"
"I know." Merlin nodded as he put up his smile mask towards Arthur.
The blonde gave him a quick kiss before they both got out of the car and headed towards Gwen and Morgana's shared flat.
"About time you showed up!" Morgana said as she hugged Merlin, and gave Arthur the slightest bit of a cold shoulder.
Arthur immediately made eye contact towards the direction were Lancelot and Gwen were seated. An action that didn't go unnoticed by Merlin who now was confirming that the perpetrator was one of his own friends, he wasn't sure he wanted to find out either.
Morgana and Will stayed close to Merlin as he watched Arthur converse happily with Gwen and Lancelot. He couldn't help it; the curiosity of which one was the traitor was killing him. Morgana didn't need to say anything for Will to figure out what had been bothering Merlin for the past few weeks, and his own suspicions were confirmed as both him and Morgana watched their over stressed friend observe Arthur, while trying to hide the pain he couldn't help but feel.
After a few bottles of wine had been passed around, and great conversation that had turned Merlin's attention towards the good times they were all having rather than worrying about his waning relationship with Arthur, he noticed that the blond was nowhere to be seen. He couldn't help but listen to the nagging voice in his head as he quickly noticed that both Gwen and Lancelot were missing as well.
"Where's Gwen and Lancelot?" he asked.
"One of them went to the bathroom." A slightly tipsy Morgana stated as she laughed at the similarities between her two friends.
He started to frantically search throughout the house when he heard noises coming from the shack towards the back of the yard outside. He knew that this was it, the moment he'd feared and looked towards for weeks. He quietly made his way towards the small window that was on the side and stepped on the tree trunk in front of it to lever himself up. He looked inside, and let his eyes focus on the familiar dark eyes, and sun kissed skin. He'd always been suspicious but never thought he'd been correct in who he assumed it was.
He felt himself release a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding in, and as he let that breath of air out, he felt his control loosen dramatically as he started to unravel in the presence of the scene that he never wanted to find himself in. Merlin ran towards the house, gave Morgana and Will his apologies as he lied that he had an emergency with his Uncle Gaius. He didn't notice the confused glances that Morgana and Will exchanged as he rushed out of the house and started to run towards the house he'd grown up in. It was a distance away but he didn't care, at the moment he needed to get away, and would rather feel the protest of his worn out legs than the pain of the betrayal and confirmation he'd witnessed.
He frantically knocked on the door, and the old man immediately answered it when he heard his nephew call out for him.
"Gaius." Merlin croaked, as he felt a sob wash over him. "I … I need a place to stay for the night." He said as his eyes started to water in a very shameful manner.
"My boy, what's wrong?" the white haired man asked worriedly as he saw the distraught state his would be son was in.
"I just, you know stress from school. I need some time to myself." He gave the only father he'd ever known a big smile that Gaius saw through, but if he knew Merlin, which he did, the boy would need time. He still remembered when Hunith finally passed, it took weeks before Merlin was able to open up about the grief he was in.
He opened the door in invitation and watched his son run up the stairs to the comfort of his old room. Knowing that there wasn't much else he'd be able to do, he decided to start preparing some tea with lavender to calm the boy down.
Just as he'd finished setting the pot up he heard another timid knock at his door and also went to answer it.
"Gaius."
"My lady, I didn't expect to see you here."
"Oh Gaius, even if the King is unpleased that you were supportive of Merlin and Arthur's relationship doesn't mean I would treat you the same as he has."
"I know my lady, but I rarely see any of you these days." He gave her a welcoming hug as they both walked towards the sound of the screaming tea pot.
"Arthur … he did something didn't he?"
Morgana didn't know how to answer, she wanted to be truthful but knew full well that either one of the boys would be upset if she told Gaius of their woes before they had a chance. She also wasn't sure what the old man's reaction would be when he found out the deceit Arthur had been webbing to hide his actions from Merlin. She still remembered when Gaius threatened him on pain of death that he should never consider hurting Merlin. Even though his words could have been seen as a threat to the crown, she understood that to Gaius Merlin was everything and any pain bestowed upon his boy was a pain bestowed upon himself.
"They're just going through that rough patch." She responded hoping that it would suffice the old mans curiosity.
"I understand." He nodded as he prepared the tray, and handed it to Morgana before ushering her to speak with his son.
"I'm tired Gaius." Merlin said as he heard the rap at his door.
"Merlin open up it's me Morgana."
"I'm not here right now." He responded childishly as he put his hands to his ears.
"Merlin I have a very hot tea pots on a serving platter for you, and if you don't open the damned door I will knock it down and pour the boiling tea on you so help me God." His eyes went wide as he remembered the last time she'd made an outrageous threat. He'd thought she was kidding before he ended up having to miss class for a week.
When Morgana caught sight of him she put the tray down and immediately embraced him. His eyes were red and puffy due the amount of crying he'd done since he'd arrived. She held her dear friend in her arms and felt the uncontrolled sobs rack his body as he finally let out all the frustration and sorrow he'd felt during the past weeks.
As she held onto Merlin's fragile form she felt tears form on her own eyes. It hurt her to see how much Arthur had hurt him. Here was this amazing boy, and Arthur couldn't keep his dick in his pants a few times out of the day and wait until he was home. She felt that if she let go, what was left of Merlin would crumble, and she may never see her carefree friend again.
"He doesn't deserve you." She whispered as she rubbed comforting circles on his back.
"But I love him." Merlin responded as they sat on his bed in an embrace. "I love him, and a part of me wants to let him do whatever as long as he'll stay by my side."
"Merlin." For once, she didn't have anything to say. There was nothing that would comfort Merlin from the hurt he'd just been given. He'd witnessed his lover and one of his best mates betray him, and now here he was being held together by the mother hen of the group who couldn't even justify anything that had happened. In that moment she never felt as useless as she felt at the moment, holding a crying Merlin in her arms until he fell asleep.
God she hoped that Merlin would leave her idiot brother, but she also knew that there was a high chance that Merlin would forgive Arthur as long as he asked for it. Merlin would be the only one to decide where this blow would lead the next stage of his life, but for now she would let him have his moment of turmoil. She would rather he let it out, by the end of the night even her and Gaius were exhausted from the sheer intensity of seeing the cheerful boy cut into pieces, and brought down on his knees for someone who in their eyes lost all value.