To live in the hearts we leave behind is to never die.
-Thomas Campbell
As I write this my pen trembles in my grasp. For the sake of those who are pure and light I pray that I am insane. For the horrors that I will tell you of whisper only in your worst nightmare. For those who live in the light go no further as you will witness things of great evil, deeds that I am greatly ashamed of. I tell you this knowing that I am past saving, that there is no hope for me. The darkness already knows of me. Please go on, do not tarry. Do not become corrupted. I have ignored the warnings of those wiser than me and shall pay the price for it time and time again. I know that I have become one of the wicked and I regret it with all of my being. Please, tarry no further. Leave me to the pain of my regrets.
Listen and you will hear the story of a girl, a girl who was just looking to escape her past and move on. A girl who was trying to make amends for what she did. A girl who was ruthless, cruel and merciless, yet just wanted to find a way out of her life.
A small girl maybe three years old, laying in a small cot in a simple hut, her mother was sitting on the side of the cot singing to the girl.
"You may travel far from your own native land
Far away o'er the mountains, far away o'er the foam
But of all the fine places that I've ever been
Sure there's none can compare with the Cliffs of Dooneen
Take a view o'er the mountains, fine sights you'll see there
You'll see the high rocky mountains o'er the west coast of Clare
Oh the towns of Kilkee and Kilrush can be seen
From the high rocky slopes round the cliffs of Dooneen
It's a nice place to be on a fine summer's day
Watching all the wild flowers that ne'er do decay
Oh the hares and the loft pheasants are plain to be seen
Making homes for their young round the cliffs of Dooneen
Fare thee well to Dooneen, fare thee well for awhile
And to all the kind people I'm leaving behind
To the streams and the meadows where late I have been
And the high rocky slopes round the cliffs of Dooneen"
"Sing it again Mummy!" "Hush now Kilmeny! 'Tis time for thee to sleep. Hush now..."
"Mummy?" "Yes, my heart?" "Why is daddy so still and cold looking? Does he need a blanket?" "No my heart, your daddy doesn't"
need a blanket." "Oh." "Mummy? Is daddy coming back? I miss my daddy." "No dearest. Daddy had to leave."
"Mummy? Why did Jonathan run away? Did he go to find daddy?" "No Dearest, he didn't. Daddy isn't coming back. Lord willing Jonathan will."
The same girl, yet a few years older. "Now, listen up. The bast way to stop someone from chasing you is to throw a piece of glass or something sharp like a knife or a shard of steel at the Achilles tendon, that way the tendon will roll up like a window-shade and they will collapse... The best way to slash a throat is from left to right... Don't EVER turn your back on someone with a knife... Never run into an alleyway that you don't know... Never assume anything about your opponent..."
"Go Kilmeny!" "No! I can't leave you all here to perish! The blades are going to kill everyone here until they find me!" "Of course! That's why you have to leave so they don't find you! Here take your key back, find your brother Jonathan, you always told us that he was going to New York. You go there, don't fret about us." "Pigeon, you'll die if you stay here!" "And if you stay here, so will you. I am at peace with God do not fret. It is in the Bible that it says the greatest sacrifice is for one man to give his life for his brother. I am giving my life for you, my leader, all of us are, go now, run and find your way to America. I love you my sister. Do not forget us." "And I love thee also, Miriam. I wilt never forget the gift that you have given me." I clasped her head in my hands and kissed her forehead, my tears making tracks through her sooty face, my tears were soon joined by hers as we hugged each other for the last time. She pushed me away, handing me my key, I looped the rawhide cord around my neck and stepped back weeping openly. She blew me a kiss with shaking fingers and turning, dashed back into the burning building that had been our home. I turned also, away from the bonfire that had been the home that had sheltered me for the past 5 years and ran, my sobs shaking my steps 'til I gave in to the racking sobs and stumbling, fell against a building and let the tears and my guilt over my lost friends overcome me.
A girl and a Priest in a small Irish chapel. "Ta bron orm as an meid ata deanta agam. Ta a fhios agam nach bhfuil aon seans dom." The priest looked down at the girl sadly. "My child, God always forgives those that have sinned." "No father, I have done to much for Him to forgive. I just wish your blessing before I leave." "And you shall have it my daughter. But do not hesitate to ask his forgiveness." The girl nodded and standing, left the pew and walked out of the church, a small 'plop' accompanying each step as a tear fell to hit the worn stones. The steps became strides which in turn led to running until the girl was running out of the church, not looking back. The priest shook his head musing that it was such a young girl to be worried about her sins. Little did he know that she did no longer care about her sins, she was sure that nothing and no one could save her from her life, but now all she cared about was her friends. She needed forgiveness not for her acts but for leaving her friends to their death.
The girl was standing on the top deck of a ship christened Whitesail, the wind was whipping her hair and skirts about her but she did not move a single muscle. At a moments glance she appeared to be enjoying the trip to a new land, but if you stopped to look you would notice that tears were streaming down her face and she was facing where the ship had came from. She was remembering the times that she had spent in London, the good and the bad alike. The tears came down harder as she realized that both the good and bad times had been spent with her friends, her gang, her surrogate family. The memories of her childhood flowed over her as she realized that she was now alone, completely and utterly alone.
A/N So what did you all think? I thought it was kinda depressing. Try writing listening to Beethoven Op. 95 string quartet. Depressing. Anyway this was a prologue of sorts and next chapter Kiss (Kilmeny) will be in New York. Yes I am trying my hand at a sibling fic. (the Key on the rawhide cord?) But I am trying to make it different. So! Review and my muse will be happy! (Right now its depressed if ya can't tell! ;) ) So Review and tell me what you thought! And I might need characters for newsies so if you want to be in the story just PM me and let me know that you are interested!
Thanks!
Angeline.