Phonecall

There's a phone ringing in the Mystery Shack.

This isn't particularly unusual. Stan gets calls all the time; from lost tourists needing direction, angry tourists demanding refunds, IRS agents, and on very rare occasions, somebody inquiring into the research of eccentric genius scientist Stanford Pines. (For everyone except the first group, Stan plays dumb before promptly hanging up).

Thing is, those usually happen during business hours. It's now almost eight PM. Hardly late, but enough to give him pause, especially since there's no Soos he can pan it off to.

But the old phone is still ringing. Stan glares at it. Finally, on the last ring, he picks up.

"Hello?" he grunts into it.

"Stan?" says a woman's voice.

It's vaguely familiar. It takes him a moment to place it. It's Shermie's kid. "Sharon?"

"Hey," says who is Sharon, after all, and Stan feels a pang of embarrassment for not immediately recognising his niece's voice. "How're you doing?"

"Fine," says Stan.

Then again, how was he supposed to recognise it? Shermie had just been a baby when he'd gotten kicked out of the house; he was MIA throughout his little brother's childhood. And it's not like they talked a lot afterwards. After faking his own death and taking over his twin's identity, he hadn't exactly been eager to force himself into family situations. He hadn't wanted to risk anyone finding out. He'd spoken over the phone a few times, visited for funerals and weddings, but that was about it.

"Your research is going well?"

"Yeah, definitely," Stan lies smoothly. Far as everyone knows, 'Stanford' has been working on some huge thesis, with the Shack as a side-gig to support himself financially. Never mind that there is no thesis, never mind that his true 'research' has been at a standstill for years. "Busy, but you know how it is."

There's one of those slightly-forced laughs. "Yeah, tell me about it. I'm being run ragged myself. Between work, and the kids…"

"Hmm," Stan says, noncommittally. And then, "How old are the twin tykes now, anyway?"

"Not tykes anymore! They're twelve. Thirteen, in a few months."

"Wow. I'll be," says Stan, leaning against the counter. "How the years fly by."

"Tell me about it."

One of the few times Stan had gone back home, under Ford's assumed identity, was for his great niece and nephew's first birthday. Stan hadn't known the first thing about babies, besides the fact that they pooped and cried a lot, but these ones had been pretty cute despite that. All babies tend to look more-or-less identical, but these had gone a step beyond that. Same eyes, same nose, same mouth, all beneath the signature Pines' Family cow-lick. They had just been learning how to walk, on tubby, unsteady legs. One had grabbed onto his finger and refused to let go for two hours, gurgling at him, until she'd fallen asleep. The other had stared at him with these big, solemn, serious eyes, like he was a seventy-year-old trapped in a baby's body. Stan had tickled him on the belly until he'd startled a laugh out of him.

And now they're twelve. Damn.

Sharon says, "Actually, I'm calling about the twins."

"Oh?" says Stan, suspicion slipping back into his voice.

"We're a bit… well, worried about them."

"How's that?"

"Oh, nothing serious," says Sharon. "Nothing serious. It's just… I don't know. They seem to spend all their time indoors— Dipper always on the computer or with his nose stuck in a book. And Mabel… well, Lord knows that she's friendly, outgoing, but…" Sharon trails off, sighing. "Sometimes, I think the only real friends they have are each other."

Almost unbidden, an image of a beach and an old swing set rears up in his mind.

"Nothing wrong about that," says Stan, a bit defensively. When Sharon had said 'trouble', he'd expected something real, involving cops, or drugs, or underground squirrel fighting rings.

"No, not necessarily," says Sharon. "It's just… well, Joseph and I, we don't want them spending their whole summer stuck in the house, with nobody but themselves to play with."

Stan knows he's not exactly the brightest bulb in the drawer, but he can pick up where this is going. "And you're suggesting…?"

"That they come stay with you," Sharon finishes. "If you'd be okay with it, obviously. Only for the summer. I think it'd do them some good, to get some fresh air, see new people, places.

"And to get to know their great-uncle," Sharon continues, before Stan can say anything. "I mean… you could show them all your experiments! Dipper's really bright, he'd love them. And Mabel, Mabel's like a little star. She'd have a blast with the store, chatting with the customers in a blink of an eye. I just think it would be a great experience with them."

Stan opens his mouth, a 'Now just you wait a second' dancing on his tongue. He doesn't want a pair of bratty kids hanging around the Shack. He's too busy, with the business, with the portal.

Then again… kids don't exactly have a lot of overhead. That would be an extra two pairs of hands around the Mystery Shack. Could save a lot of money. Money that could be used to get an awful lot of missing equipment.

Well. Maybe not a lot of missing. He'd still have to feed 'em, after all. But it would be something.

'Course, he'd have to babysit them. Keep them entertained, make sure they don't get into trouble. That's time away from building, research.

That can't be too hard, though, right? They're basically teenagers. They can look after themselves. Explore the forest, meet other kids, do whatever it is kids do these day.

'Course, this isn't a west coast beach. This is Gravity Falls. Monsters lurk in the woods. Danger's around every corner. Stan knows that better than anyone. Wouldn't be right, bringing kids here.

Well, that's unfair. It's not that dangerous. Gravity Falls has tons of kids. Most of them manage to survive to adulthood. Long as the twins keep to the populated areas and didn't do anything stupid, they'd probably be fine. If he had to, he could get Soos and Wendy to watch 'em. They're Gravity Falls natives. They'd be able to handle it.

And again, with them doing babysitting duty, he'd still have time to work on the portal.

Not that he's been progressing very much, anyway. He's treading water until he can find the other journals. He's been looking everywhere, but they're still no where to be found. It's been thirty years, and his brother is just as far out of his reach as ever.

An old guilt gnaws at him. Stanley Pine feels something new twist inside his stomach.

"Stan?" says Sharon. Stan realizes he's been silent for at least fifteen seconds.

"Sorry," he mutters. He drums his fingers on the counter-top. "Sorry. Got lost in thought. So, you wanna send Mipper and Dabel out here for the summer?"

"Dipper and Mabel," his niece corrects. "Yes. Would you be okay taking them? We'd pay for bus fare."

Another moment of hesitation. And then: "Sure. Why not? 'Bout time I got to know the kids."

There's a smile in Sharon's voice when she says, "Wow, great! Thanks Stan. You'd be doing us a big favour. Them too."

"Well. Anything for family."

oOoOoOo

Author's Note: So it's been a week since the finale aired, and guess who's still processing emotions?