My name is Aradia Megido.

And if you are reading this then you are probably a very dear person to me, I just wanted to say that there are many things in life I enjoyed but they were also some that I didn't. Obviously the bad things took control of me and caused me to do this to myself. I'm very sorry if you have to see my body like this but it was for the best.

Anyway in life there were many things I loved like, my mom, whom I loved dearly and still do even after she passed away I still love her; I love the color red I think it suits me perfectly, I also love my best friend, Sollux, he was my friend since we were in middle school, he was so nice to me it made me feel welcomed and loved, even in high school we were still close. He isn't my love interest for I cannot love romantically, I am aromantic and asexual. He was still my best friend even though he knew that, and I knew he liked me but I just couldn't feel the same, when I told him he took it very kindly and remained my best friend. That's why I love him.

Unfortunately everything has a dark side and mine was as dark as it could be. I once had a friend, very close friend, her name is Vriska. We had been friends since childhood. We were almost inseparable and when my mother passed away I went to a really great orphanage but I still went to the same school.

I was in middle school when I told her about my sexuality, I told her I couldn't be romantically or sexually interested in someone, she took the news very differently than Sollux. She made fun of me and told me I would die alone. I told her to stop saying that because it wasn't true, I would have tons of friends surrounding me and supporting me. She said the opposite; she said everyone would get away from me because I was a freak that couldn't love. She told me that almost daily and slowly but surely everyone talked about it when I was around.

"Don't talk to her she probably won't like you she can't like anyone, that's what I heard"

"wait she doesn't like sex?! Who doesn't love sex?! What a weirdo!"

"how could she not love anyone she has to love someone!"

"I heard she killed her mom because she had no feelings for her, she can't love, so she didn't care about her"

they were all so painful but it wasn't just verbally it was also physically, kids beat me up after school, they said "that's what you get for killing your own mom, who does that?! Obviously you are some kind of freak." It didn't help that my physical appearance wasn't the best one, They would also call me Fat and overweight and sometimes people asked me if I ate like a pig at home.

One time during a beat up after school a stranger came by and stopped them, I didn't recognize him because he didn't go to my school he went to a private school near mine. This is when I met Sollux, He asked me why I was being beaten up but at first I didn't tell him he got a bit upset and left. He had no idea how thankful I was. After that I always went to the same spot but I was hiding so the bullies won't find me, I saw him walk past and I chased after him, it was nice to meet someone who doesn't know anything about me, that way they wouldn't call me a freak and beat me up like the other kids did.

After we graduated Middle school we both went to the same high school, it was the best. At first. Most kids accepted me being asexual and aromantic I was happy for that. Sollux still didn't know my sexuality though and I regret not telling him sooner.

One day after school he said he wanted to meet me near the library so I went and I saw him sitting there thinking very deeply, when I approached closer he just stood up and kissed me on the lips, just a small kiss, He confessed his obvious feelings for me I told him that I already knew because it was obvious and I also told him my love style. He took it very calmly and said 'Oh' then he said 'are we still friends?' I hugged him and said 'Of course'. It was all going great but when I went back home and checked my computer is when everything got worse.

I saw a post by Vriska on Facebook, it was two pictures, one of me being kissed by Sollux and another one of me hugging him. The caption read 'was Aradia faking the whole time?'. Vriska also photoshoped my face and Sollux's face into a picture of two people having sex, some people were stupid enough to believe it and some saw through the lie.

I was scared to say the least the comments were horrible. "does this mean she killed her mom even though she actually loved her?" "what a fucking bitch!" "wow lying slut" I was terrified to go to school the next day. I was right to be terrified everyone ignored me some called me names as I walked by. This went on for all freshman year and sophomore year, and still on junior year and Sollux tried telling me that it would be alright, that I wouldn't loose him. This helped me a little gave me a bit of hope, the last of hope.

That was until towards the end of junior year. When I was walking home by myself when guy named Equius Zahhak stopped me and told me he'd like to walk me home, I was okay with that. We walked and talked like two normal people, he was really nice and funny, but then he decided to lean in and try to kiss me but I stopped him and explained to him my love style, he was great about it he apologized and said he understood.

When I went to school I saw Sollux and tapped his shoulder to greet him but he didn't turn around. I called his name and got in his face but he just ignored me then he showed me a picture of me with Equius and he was really close to my face. I believe this was before I put my hand to stop him. Sollux yelled at me and told me that I really was a lying slut. He thought the whole aro and ace thing was an excuse for me to no date him. My last bit of hope was shattered, gone forever, my only true friend was gone.

I was 17 when I decided to take my own life. Whoever is reading this I want you to tell my story, tell them that I survived for 4 years but I was weak and couldn't handle it anymore.

I'm sorry I'm weak, I'm sorry I'm aromantic and asexual, I'm sorry I'm fat, I'm sorry I'm not how you'd like me to be.

I'm deeply sorry.

This was just the suicide letter from Aradia next chapter will be actual real time