She was beautiful.
She was what gave Taiko's life meaning. She was a thing of beauty, of radiance. She was an angel, something born out of goodness and kindness. She was a creature that had been created with the idea of perfection, and she had achieved it.
Oh, how Taiko wanted her. What she wouldn't have given to see that cheerful face smile at her. Just once. That was all she needed to be satisfied for the rest of her life.
Nigaiko, Nigaiko.
The people who dwelled around her each day did not realise how lucky they were. How privileged they were. They were undeserving, bland and monochromatic compared to her stunning beauty, her perfection. Nothing could compare to her - nothing and no one.
She was easy to spot. Whereas her classmates were bored and annoyed, she was always smiling, even as she erased and rewrote her notes. Beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
But Taiko...
Taiko was filthy. She was a street rat, worth nothing. She was tainted, she was hideous, she was- she was Taiko.
She was unfit to be gazed upon, let alone smiled at. But she couldn't help the way her heart leapt every time she glanced at her angel. Without her, Taiko had nothing. Nothing. And how dare she, how dare she refer to Nigaiko as an object, something that could be owned, and owned by Taiko no less. Nigaiko was- Nigaiko was-
Nigaiko was perfection.
Taiko didn't deserve to be someone who Nigaiko treasured. She didn't deserve to be looked at, to be touched, to even say her name.
Nigaiko, Nigaiko.
The morons who picked on her and bullied her- how dare they. How dare they mistreat such a perfect creature. They were lower than the lowest, lower than filth, lower than-
Dare she say it?
Lower than herself.
They deserved to rot. Taiko was tainted, but they were lost causes. Hopeless. Taiko found them, followed them home.
Useless, worthless. Didn't deserve- never deserved-
Worse than Taiko.
The people who called themselves Nigaiko's parents amused Taiko to no end. How idiotic they were, how ignorant they were. It wasn't possible for Nigaiko to have been born to them. An angel wouldn't have been born to a pair of idiots. It simply wasn't possible. They were fools to call Nigaiko their daughter. They were a pair of morons who were simply lucky enough to have an angel smile upon them.
Oh, if only - if only Taiko was that lucky.
They got angry at her. Taiko had seen it unfold many, many times. Nigaiko would misplace something -cute, cute, cute- or mishear something and they would snap. They would grow claws and tusks and sharp beady eyes, but Nigaiko never saw those things.
How could they- how could they live with themselves? They hit her and screamed at her, and then acted like everything was perfectly normal thirty seconds later. How could Nigaiko forgive them? Nigaiko, beautiful precious Nigaiko, why can't you just hate someone?
If Nigaiko had ever met Taiko, Taiko had no doubts that Nigaiko would hate her. But that was okay - in fact, that would be a privilege. Because for Nigaiko to hate her, she had to first acknowledge her existence. She had to know her, she had to look at her-
Taiko envied them, the bleak, boring dolls that hung around her. Why did she have to look at them? They didn't deserve it, they never would. Their presence dulled hers, and for that, they deserved to die.
Nigaiko didn't care for them, Taiko was sure. She didn't cry when they never appeared again, and that made Taiko happy, because Nigaiko simply couldn't be allowed to get angry or sad. Such filthy emotions led to the duties that Taiko performed and the violence that was common around her own home. Nigaiko couldn't be allowed to hurt anyone - no, Taiko would do that for her. Taiko refused to let Nigaiko soil her hands with the filthy blood of those who only mocked her.
If there was one person who was worthy of Nigaiko's attention, it was that blonde brat. Kikaiko, the so-called ray of sunshine. Nigaiko adored her, praised her, worshipped the ground she walked on. And Kikaiko was the only one who came close to treating Nigaiko like she deserved to be treated.
Her hair was as long and as tangled as Taiko's, and they were about the same height. She loved Nigaiko almost as much as Taiko did. She and Taiko were alike, but then again, they weren't. Kikaiko's eyes were orange, not violet, and she was always smiling and always ready to laugh. She wore none of the bandages that covered Taiko's body.
Taiko watched them walk home, and if she concentrated hard enough, she could imagine that it was her walking by Nigaiko's side.
The blonde brat was cheery, sympathetic, optimistic... All good qualities that Taiko did not have. Kikaiko- Kikaiko almost deserved Nigaiko's kindness.
Almost.
Her kindness, her devotion...
It wasn't enough.
Kikaiko never saw what happened as soon as she left Nigaiko's side. How her tormentors would slink out the shadows and surround her. And- and-
She never saw because she didn't care enough to see. She was a coward. She knew- she had to know. How could she not notice the bruises and cuts, only barely covered by kneesocks and a thick white scarf?
If it had been Taiko at her side, Taiko would help her. Taiko would destroy those who grew angry at her without a second thought. But Taiko would never be able to stand next to Nigaiko and have the other acknowledge her presence. She was nothing more than a speck of dirt that was too insignificant and disgusting for anyone to bother cleaning up. If only, if only Taiko wasn't so filthy. If only she wasn't a street rat, a murderer. If she had been born as someone else, anyone else-
But she wasn't someone else. She was Taiko. And she couldn't ever change that.
Nigaiko, Nigaiko.
Taiko will never be worthy enough to be Nigaiko's friend, she knows that. She'll never be able to talk to her, protect her, hold her, kiss her, be loved by her-
Love her, love her, love her...
Nigaiko, I love you.
I wish you could love me as well.