This is something I've been working on for a while and I've finally found the courage to post it. The first part is only short but I'd love to know what you think to it and if you want me to continue.
TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorder.
Secrets-Chapter 1
She was good. She was a good friend, you could rely on her, call her any time of the day or night and she'd be there no matter what you needed she'd do her very best to help you out. She was a good nurse, always going above and beyond for her patients, she never objected to staying well beyond the ends of her shift, her breaks were usually untaken but she was good at her job, she'd lost count of the number of lives she'd saved, and she'd never had a chance to keep count of the lives she'd fixed. She was a good person, polite, well mannered, she'd hold open doors, always say please and thank you and she never passed a homeless person without a smile and a handful of change but there was one thing that nobody else knew... Rita Freeman was a good, no, Rita Freeman was a brilliant actress.
She stepped wearily from the shower, sighing as she wrapped a plush towel around her torso, another, smaller towel, wrapped around her tousled blonde locks, "why do my days off always go so quickly?" she mumbled to herself as she studied her face in the mirror, "you're a mess Rita, why are you doing this?" she whispered to herself before wiping away a stray tear, "pull yourself together... come on, you can do this."
She padded softly back into her bedroom and began the arduous task of preparing herself for work, putting her 'face' on and preparing to give off an air of 'everything's alright.' She dried and styled her hair before sitting down at the dressing table in her room. Some people could spend an age applying the right amount of makeup to look 'natural' but not Rita, she wasn't going for a 'natural' look, no, she just wanted to look healthy.
She started with the primer, then the foundation, the same shade her skin used to be before it had taken on a sickly grey colour, she carefully blended the base before precisely applying highlighter and bronzer, she'd spent hours watching 'how to' contour videos on the internet and now she was an expert, no one would ever know how much makeup she used to hide her sunken eyes and hollow cheeks, "you can do this" she repeated as she finished off her make up and applied a thin coat of clear lipgloss, "it's just another day."
She dressed quickly before making her way downstairs, she made herself a strong black coffee in her travel mug and slipped on her jacket, it would take her over 30 minutes to walk to work, the caffeine would be just the energy she needed, hopefully it would be enough to get her through the day.
It was almost 14 hours later when she stumbled tiredly back into house, she poured herself a large glass of water and took it upstairs to her bedroom where she changed into shorts and a vest top before taking a scrap of paper from the pocket of her jeans, 'banana 105, apple 95' She nodded to herself and made her way over to the cross trainer in the corner of the room, she could do it, she had to burn off 200 calories before she so much as started the hour of exercise that she did every night, That was all she had to do, exercise and sleep, "come on" she mumbled to herself, "you can do this...you need to do this."
The next morning started just the same as every other, wake up, another hour on the cross trainer, shower, make up, work. She was managing quite well, she'd even bought her own scrubs so no one would notice that the size 12s she used to wear now almost smothered her, even the size 8s she now had were getting loose, she told herself she'd stop, once she got to the point where these scrubs fitted comfortably she'd stop...but the thought of 'just a few more pounds' was far too tempting a thought, "yeah" she nodded, a few more pounds and then she'd stop.
She was amazed nobody had noticed, and she couldn't help but wonder if she'd notice if anything was wrong with her colleagues, her friends. She'd like to think she would, but then again she'd like to think somebody would notice her, somebody would notice what she was doing to herself. She was a nurse, of course she knew what she was doing was dangerous, stupid even but now, she was in too deep, she knew she wouldn't be able to stop, she knew there was only one way out...she also knew that if she asked for help from any of her colleagues she'd get it, but at the same time, a little voice in the back of her mind kept reminding her, nobody had noticed...nobody cared.
Little did Rita know, her world was about to come tumbling down around her, she was struggling to perform chest compressions on a patient, she just didn't have the energy or the strength, she glanced around, "Lofty, can you take over please?" she asked as she saw the other nurse writing something on the patient's notes.
"Sure" he put the notes down and took over from Rita, "are you okay?" he asked, noticing how pale she looked, how bloodshot her eyes were.
Rita saw Zoe look up from the patient they were treating, obviously waiting for her reply, "yeah...yeah" she frowned slightly as the edges of her vision blurred, "I'm...I'm…" she didn't have a chance to finish as everything went black and she stumbled backwards, knocking over an equipment trolley as she crashed to the floor.