Midnight Ramblings with the Goblin King
A/N: Ok this is just something that popped into my head one night when I couldn't sleep. So I hope you like it.
Summary: Basically a funky conversation between me and the Goblin King late one night.
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She ran for her life as he followed. The sound of beating wings…Rip!
Me: (crumples paper up and throws it at wastepaper basket) Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
I notice how the temperature in my room gets kind of cool and sigh. He's here again.
Me: (keeping back to the door) What do you want now Jareth?
Jareth: (leaning against the door frame, smirks) Is something wrong Scarlet?
Me: (throws hands in air exasperatedly) Of course something's wrong! I haven't been able to come up with any more fan fiction ideas in weeks!
Jareth: Not even one about me?
Me: Not even about you, you Royal Jackass that isn't really stupid and confusing.
An idea hits me and I start furiously writing on a piece of paper. Idea vanishes as Jareth moves to sit on the edge of my desk. I crumple that paper up and throw it at the basket.
Me: (rest chin on hand) It's hopeless. I will never come up with another good idea again. Never!
Jareth: (cocks head to one side and starts playing with a crystal) Is that all you can do then? Write and complain when you're not?
Me: (gets annoyed at the crystal and throws it against the wall) That's who I am and if you can't stand that, go away!
Jareth: (smirks) That's right. Take your anger out on a defenseless crystal.
Me: (glares at him) Would you rather that I take make anger out on you?
Jareth: (cocks an eyebrow and shows his pointed teeth as he smiled) Yes…
Me: (pushes chair away from desk) Pervert! I didn't mean THAT way.
Jareth: Oh you didn't? Such a pity.
Me: Shut up and get to the point of why you're visiting me this late. (crosses arms)
The last time he visited me, he had tried to steal my 3 younger sisters. I would have let him because I don't like them very much, but no… family matters in my family.
Jareth: (sighs) You're no fun anymore Scarlet.
Me: I'm also getting madder Goblin King. So start telling me why you are here.
Jareth: (looks away) I came to see if you would like to attend a little ball that I am planning.
Me: A ball?
Jareth: Yes a ball. You know, the one's with music, dances, people dressing up, and all that crap.
Me: Crap it is. I hate balls! (glares at Jareth when he cocked an eyebrow) You know what I mean Jareth.
Jareth: I do?
Me: Yes you do.
I turned my back on him to look for my candy stash. Maybe that was why I couldn't sleep that night. Sugar highs rock!!!!!!!!!!
Jareth: So are you coming or what?
Me: (thinks about it) Do I have to bring someone?
Jareth: Yes.
Me: But I don't know anyone!
Jareth: (stands up and starts pacing) How about that Logan fellow?
Me: Possibly, but I don't think he likes balls. (again I get that look from Jareth) Please stop being a pervert Jareth!
Jareth: (resumes pacing) How about that Sessho-what's-his-face?
Me: Sesshomaru isn't available right now.
Jareth: Peter from your first Labyrinth story?
Me: (makes a face) NO WAY! He's a creep and I'm seriously considering killing him off in my book before it ends.
Jareth: How about my cousin?
Me: Too gay looking.
Jareth: Not him. The other cousin.
Me: The one who looks kind of like you?
Jareth: Yes that one.
Me: (wracks brain for memory of that dude) No. He's too much like you.
Jareth: (looks put out) That was my next offer.
Me: Then I'm glad that you didn't ask.
Jareth walked over to the window and peeked outside. I found myself just staring at his back which I had to admit was better than staring at his front.
Jareth: Why must you be so difficult?
Me: It's who I am. (finds some Hershey kisses) Want a Hershey kiss?
Jareth: (takes the one I offered and sits on my bed) You can't go alone.
Me: I'll think about who I'll take later. Do I have to wear a dress?
Jareth: (rolls eyes) Of course you do!
Me: Damn balls! I hate dresses! Hate them!
I continue ranting like that for a few more minutes in which Jareth steals most of my Hershey kisses. That won't be good for everyone back in the Underground.
Jareth: (reclining on my bed) Are you quite through yet?
Me: (mutters something that would make a sailor blush) Alright. I'm good.
Jareth: Are you quite sure?
Me: (opens a Rock Star energy drink and gives it to him) Yeah. I'm sure. (takes a drink from my own Rock Star) I think I'll wear either a black dress or a red dress.
Jareth: I can't wait to see you in a dress. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures.
Me: Don't even think about it. I hate dresses. And I just got an idea. (holds pencil over paper before throwing it down) Damn I forgot it!
Jareth: (smirks and takes a drink of the energy drink)
15 minutes later…
Me: I can bounce higher than you! (jumping on bed)
Jareth: Can not! (jumping on it too)
Me: Can too Poofy Hair!
Jareth: Can not Psychotic Bitch!
Me: (laughs) That's my name, don't wear it out.
Jareth: What the hell are you talking about?
Me: (grabs a pillow and hits him with it) I don't know exactly. (pauses) I call the last Rock Star!
Jareth: No. It's mine!
Me: (lunges for it) Mine!
Jareth: (grabs hold of it) No mine!
A voice: What are you doing Scarlet?
We both turn to see my younger sister standing in the door way looking sleepy and grouchy.
Me: Nothing. What's it look like?
Sis: Look's like you need to fix your clothes.
Me: (looks down and sees that my button up shirt was half way unbuttoned) Oopsie!! (hurries to fix it)
Jareth: (smirks as he takes a sip of the last Rock Star) Mine.
Me: (glares at him.) That's mine! (lunges at him and spills the Rock Star all over his white tights) Oh, it was yours.
Sis: (eyes widen at the sight of Jareth) AHH!!!!!!!!! You have a freaky old guy in your room!!!!!!!!! (starts screaming hysterically as she grabs my bat and advances on Jareth) I'll get him!!!
Jareth: No don't get him! (runs behind me) Don't get him!
Sis: AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!HE TALKED TO ME!!!!
Me: Give me that damned bat! (grabs bat and bonks her on the head with it, sister collapses) Jareth, (turns to Jareth) kindly take my stupid sister back to her room.
Jareth scowls at me and grabs my annoying sister. He disappears through the door way and I hurry and find me a new Rock Star. He comes back, tights all nice and dry and stares at the drink in my hand.
Me: (waves drink) Mine!
Jareth: I hate you.
Me: I know you do (I say this around the big gulp of Rock Star!)
Jareth: Your shirt is still unbuttoned.
Me: (looks down) DAMN IT!!!! I give up on this shirt! (runs into walk in closet door, rubs head, and repeats action twice, before Jareth is kind enough to open the door) I hate this shirt!
Jareth: (closing door) Then take the damned thing off. (inches closer to my Rock Star)
Me: Get away from my Rock Star you!
I exit my closet wearing a tank top instead of that damned button up a few minutes later. Jareth was sitting at my desk, reading some fan fiction stories about himself.
Me: Find anything interesting?
Jareth: No. (frowns as he looks at me) These people really put me in such a bad, perverted light don't they?
Me: (shrugs) Let's just say, they're lucky that they don't know the real you. Now, where'd I put my M&Ms?
Jareth: (pulls open bottom drawer of my desk and tosses me a bag) Humans do love sugar…
Me: (rips open bag) Yes we do. It's very good and makes people happy.
Jareth: I think you mean hyper.
Me: (shrugs) Hyper is happiness to me. (dumps a lot into mouth) Yummy!
Jareth: (rolls eyes) So, who are you going to take to the ball?
Me: Can I call Logan?
Jareth: (sighs and hands me the phone) Make it fast please. (steals some M&Ms from me) These ARE good… (steals the whole bag)
Me: Let's see…his number is… (dials number) Ring, ring, ring, you better pick up you bas- Hi Logan!
Logan: Scarlet, do you have any idea how late it is?
Me: (glances around for a clock, oops. Mine was broke) Nope! Hyper time possibly.
Logan: (sounds irritated) It's 3 in the morning girl.
Me: Oh wow! A new record!! YAY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (starts jumping on bed again)
Logan: If you don't tell me why you're callin' me in the next minute, I'm gonna kick your ass the next time I see you.
Me: Do you want to go to a ball with me?
Logan: A what!?!
Me: Jareth, you tell him. (tosses chocolate faced Jareth the phone)
I continue jumping on the bed, eating M&Ms while Jareth talks to Logan. By the way he's talking it's apparent that Logan doesn't fully understand. He needs chocolate more than me. NOT!!!
Jareth: He wants to talk to you again. (hands me the phone before returning to devouring poor M&Ms)
Me: Logan, so do you want to go?
Logan: HELL NO!
Me: (looks put out) Why not?
Logan: I DON'T GO TO BALLS NOR DO I DANCE! CALL ME WHEN YOU ACTUALLY WANNA DO SOMETHING I LIKE!!!!!
Me: (stares at phone after he hangs up) He doesn't like me.
Jareth: No he hates balls. Big difference.
Me: (throws phone at his head, thankfully it misses) Shush up!
Jareth: What did I do? (looking confused)
Sis: Scarlet, I had the strangest dream. Some weird old guy in tights was in your room. (stops when she spots Jareth on my bed) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! HE'S REAL!!! I'LL GET HIM!!! (pulls out Sesshomaru's Tensaiga and advances on Jareth)
Jareth: (looking at me) Does she always act like this?
Me: Unfortunately…give me that sword Sis. (reaches for sword) She barely understood your movie…and she hates your character.
Jareth: (backs up on bed) I think I can tell that from the way she's trying to neuter me!
Me: (rolls eyes and grabs the stupid sword) Sis, go away. You're dreaming.
Sis: BUT HE'S RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!! I'LL KILL HIM FOR YOU!!!!!!
Me: (grabs bat and bonks her on the head again) Jareth, clean up on aisle My Doorway!
Jareth: (waves hand and sis vanishes) She is very strange.
Me: (falling onto the bed next to him) And you're not.
Jareth: She's worse.
Me: So says the man wearing tights in this time period. (looks at sword in her hand) I wonder how she got this.
Someone: Good question.
Me and Jareth sat up and saw Sesshomaru standing in front of the now open window, arms crossed. I look over at Jareth and scoot farther away from him just in case Sesshomaru got any ideas. And yes all my guy friends are perverts!!!!!!
Me: And let me guess Sesshy, you know the answer.
Sesshomaru: Stop calling me that.
Me: Fine Fluffy.
Sesshomaru: And that.
Me: But it's so cute Fwuffy!
Sesshomaru: (suppresses urge to end my stupid ways forever) Give me my sword.
Me: Make me. (holds sword tighter) And you still haven't answered my question Fwuffy.
Sesshomaru: She stole it when I wasn't looking.
Jareth: Well wasn't that just so rude of her? (dumps rest of M&Ms down his throat and starts choking)
Me: That's odd. (pats Jareth on the back) No one can get something from you even when you're not looking. I should know I've tried…what a dozen times?
Sesshomaru: Well, she's clever. Now give me that. (takes the sword back)
Me: OW!! (looks at the cut on my hand) That hurt Fwuffy!
Sesshomaru: You'll get over it.
Jareth: Ask him already girl. (looks for more M&Ms)
Sesshomaru: (eyes narrow as they fix on mine) Ask me what?
Me: Do you want to go to a ball with me?
Sesshomaru: (eye twitches) No…
Me: Told you he would say no. (glaring at Jareth)
Jareth: You said he wasn't available. Big difference.
Me: (turns back on him) So go already Mr. Fwuffy. I don't think I need to waste anymore of my time on you. So get out of my room!
Sesshomaru: (looks taken aback) Someone's low on artificial sugar…
Me: (grabs baseball bat and swings it threateningly) I'll show you low on artificial sugar if you don't get out now!
Sesshomaru: (holds hands up in surrender) I'm going. I'm going. (in lower tones to Jareth) Give her more chocolate.
Me: GET OUT!!!!
Sesshomaru looked back at me before jumping out the window. I run over and slam the window shut. I turn around to find Jareth holding a chocolate bar under my nose.
Jareth: Eat this. Become hyper or happy…whatever you need to be.
Me: (growls at him and sits huffily back on the bed) I don't wanna.
Jareth: (drops candy bar and feels my forehead) Nope. No fever. But something's got to be wrong with you if you don't want candy.
Me: (pushes hand away) I'm fine. I just don't want candy right now because of him! (rests elbow on knee and chin on hand) Why does everyone hate me?
Jareth: I don't hate you. (touches the bloody cut on my hand and it's gone)
Me: (smirks) That's because you don't know any better.
Jareth: (shrugs) I guess not.
Me: (looks thoughtful) Jareth…
Jareth: Hmm?
Me: Is that offer for you taking me to that ball still open?
Jareth: (smirking himself) Yes.
Me: Good because I don't want to be the only person there without someone else.
I hug him and walk over to my desk and start reading more fan fiction stories while Jareth devours another bag of M&Ms. The sudden stop in his munching, caused me to turn around to see what the hell is wrong with him. My jaw drops. She's back!
Sis: I knew I wasn't dreaming! (points at Jareth) You aren't getting her that easily! She's not as stupid as Sarah, but well, you won't get the chance to realize that. (pulls out a flame thrower) This should make you into a fireball with all that hairspray you must use everyday. We'll just see how much, Goldilocks!
Me: (stares at her) How come she gets all the awesome weapons? That's not fair! Great. Now I'm sounding like Sarah!
Jareth: Um…Scarlet…a little help would be nice… (backs away from sister brandishing pretty, but deadly weapon)
Me: Why must I always save your ass? (grabs bat and prepares to bonk sister on head again) This is just pathetic.
Jareth: No what's pathetic is that you can't control your little brat of a sister!
Sis: DON'T TALK TO HER!!!!! OR ME!!! (shoots fire at him)
Jareth: Hey! Watch the tights!
Me: (rolls eyes) You're both pathetic. (bonks sister on the head) SOMEONE TAKE THIS KID AND MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T WAKE UP UNTIL MORNING AS IN 9 A.M!!
Some little thing ran into the room and dragged sister out of the room. I look away from Jareth as he checks to make sure everything is intact.
Jareth: She better not come back here.
Me: (sighs) She better not or no more visits from my friends. (crosses arms) Little sisters ruin everything.
Jareth: You could simply wish her away…
Me: (looks thoughtful) I could…
Jareth: You just have to say the magic words.
Me: I wish…
Jareth: (smirking) Go on…
Me: (smiles) I wish that I knew where my other candy stash was.
Jareth: (looks put out) Why you-!
Me: (dives at him and puts a hand over his mouth) Quiet! My folks might wake up and then that could cause tons of problems like no candy or Sesshomaru or Logan or all my other favorite things.
Jareth: (removing my hand from his mouth) And what about me?
Me: What about you? (gets off of him)
Jareth: You wouldn't miss me would you?
Me: (looks away) Nope!
Jareth: Fine. (stands up) Goodbye Scarlet.
Me: (moves over to desk and sits down) Bye Poofy Hair.
I suddenly grab my pencil and start writing furiously on my paper and smile. Jareth cocks an eyebrow and walks over to read over my shoulder.
Me: (glances at him) I thought you were leaving.
Jareth: That's what you get for thinking. (looks at paper) What exactly are you writing about now?
Me: You getting chased by a psycho-maniac little girl and someone like Sarah saves your ass again.
Jareth: This has to deal with your sister right?
Me: Would I ever do something like that? (looks back at paper) Now, how do you spell her name? Does it have a 'y' or an 'i' at the end?
Jareth: (controls urge to slap me) I don't know. She's your sister. Shouldn't you know?
Me: I don't even know how old she is, so how am I supposed to know how to spell her name?
Somewhere outside my room, we hear movements. Sounds like my parents are waking up to go to work.
Me: Shit! They're getting up.
Jareth: Well, that just means I have to go.
Me: (looks put out) I don't want you to go.
Jareth: (looks surprised) And why not?
Me: Because I want you to see my story and to battle you over the very last Rock Star.
Jareth: (pats my head) Maybe some other time. And I will get the last Rock Star next time.
Me: You wish.
I watch him disappear in a swirl of glitter before turning back to my paper. A knock on my door makes me look up.
Mom: Scarlet, have you been up all this time.
Me: Uh…maybe.
Mom: That's it. No more sugar for you for a week!
Me: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile back in the Underground…
Jareth: GIVE ME MORE SUGAR!!! (kicks a goblin out the window) NOW!!!!!
The goblins run for their lives as he throws a crystal in the air and a lot of chocolate beasts run after them. Jareth chases after the chocolate beasts.
Jareth: SUGAR!!!!!!!! (tackles a beast and rips arm off) YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!
Back in our world…
Me: (stares at crystal) Not fair…not good…they're doomed! Poor goblins…GO GOBLIN KING!!! SAVE SOME CHOCOLATE FOR ME!!!!!!!!
Sis: Scarlet, (comes into my room) I had three of the weirdest dreams ever! There was this guy in tights with Poofy Hair and he was sitting on your bed eating M&Ms and… (spots crystal in my hand and sees contents) OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! HE'S REAL!!!
Me: (groans as I hide crystal) Where's my bat?
Sis: HE'S REAL! HE'S REAL! HE'S-(gets bonked on the head by me) real… (falls to the ground)
Me: (hides bat) MOM! She passed out in my room again! (looks at computer monitor to see Jareth watching me)
Jareth: See you at the ball on Friday.
Me: (smiles) Yep.
As soon as he vanishes, I start writing on a new piece of paper. The title was Midnight Ramblings with the Goblin King.
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A/N: Ok. I am strange. This is strange but strange is funny and if you don't laugh, well maybe you're just a serious-no-fun-at-all person. Please read and review, and maybe I'll do another one of these things.