What if I wanted to break?
Laugh it all off in your face,
He remembered the way Mello teased him. The way they detested each other. The way they were constantly in competition with each other to be L's successor.
What if I fell to the floor,
Couldn't take this anymore?
He remembered when he heard of Mello's death. It affected him in a way he thought he could control. It affected him in a way that he didn't think he could feel anymore. But obvious he had thought wrong.
What would you do?
But after calming down the hurt and sadness, after screaming in his room for what seems years but where actually hours... he can now recall why he was so upset when he had heard of Mello's death. Near knew that he did not hate Mello... not really...
Come break me down,
Bury me, Bury me.
He remembers the day where it all began. Mello had got a bunch of kids to take him toys and hide them. Near had had enough of it all. The teasing, the unfunny jokes, the hurtfulness. He stormed straight to Mello's room, where he was sitting on the edge of his bed and obviously biting into another weight gaining bar of chocolate [although he never seemed to put weight on. Probably due to the same reason the L didn't, because he thought] 'That's a stupid theory, Mello couldn't think even if he tried...' Near had thought. Be Mello was number two.
I am finished with you.
"Mello, I would appreciate it, if you stopped getting your 'posse' to stop stealing toys and hiding them," Near said to Mello. Mello just smirked and carried on eating. This aggravated Near and he therefore moved closer, next to his bed.
"Mello. I know we do not get along, but you do not see me stealing your chocolate and –"
"If you did steal it, you would die," answered Mello quickly, starring out of his window and not even taking half a second to look at him.
"... All I want is to be left alone...
What if I wanted to fight?
... please?" asked Near quietly. Mello stopped in his eating tracks and looked at Near, "please?"
"Yes... please," at this he starred down at the floor.
"... no," replied Mello who was now looking out of the window again.
This was the last straw for Near. He was sick of it. He grabbed Mello's food as quick as he could and threw it out of the window. Angry rose in Mello. What was he going to do?
Viciously, he grabbed Near by the neck and threw him against one of the walls, " I can't believe you just did that!" he screamed at Near.
Beg for the rest of my life?
"I'm sorry!" Near said as quick as he could. Near was scared, no, terrified. For the first time in his life. He did not know what Mello was capable of and he did not want to find out.
What would you do?
But soon as Near as plied, Mello could not help but feel bad for what he had done. Near looked scared out of his skin. Near looked helpless and lonely. Mello loosened his grip on Near neck and moved it up to his jaw and stroked it.
"I'm sorry... It' s just a chocolate bar, right." He answered. Near looked shocked, 'just a chocolate bar?' Mello had never said that before! Near felt Mello's hand brush across his neck and jaw. It was soothing. It was quite nice. He starred up, into Mello's eye. They weren't cold, nor full of hatred. The were feeling sorry for him, worried, concerned.
Near pulled his arms up to Mello's face and ran them through his hair. Neither of them could explain what was happening but as their lips met, it just felt right...
You said you wanted more,
The kiss had become a secret relationship. They would pretend to hate each other during the day, but fall asleep in each other's arms at night. But soon, however, it started to go wrong. Near was number one and therefore, when L passed away, he had to replace him. Mello was not happy about this.
"I have to do this, don't you understand!" Near had yelled at him one night.
"So being L's successor is more important than us?!" Mello had shouted back.
"It's more important!"
Silence spread though out the room.
What are you waiting for?
"If that is what to you wish," Mello had said eventually, and he walked out and was never seen by Near again. He formed his our group to track and kill Kira. They were both alone.
I am not running from you.
They never forgot each other. They thought of each other every day, every second that past. Remembering the special times that they had had.
Come break me down,
Bury me, bury me.
Now Mello was dead. Near could not handle it. The news made his destroy most of his toys and he ran to his room. Pouring his tears into a pillow, throwing his teddies off his bed. "Mello... Mello!" he screamed and screamed.
I am finished with you.
Near fell asleep, with his thumb in his mouth and hugging his pillow. But it was a disturbing dream. He imagined how Mello had died, over and over again. He woke up with a shock and remember that he had a photo of them. He pulled it out of his drawer and climbed back onto his bed.
Look at my eyes,
You're killing me, killing me.
He looked deep into Mello's eyes. He missed him dearly...
All I wanted was you.
He wanted him back...
I tried to be someone else,
But nothing else seemed to change,
I know,
He wanted to be back in his arms. Without Mello, he had no feelings, no happy times, no fun moments, nothing.
Just hatred, sadness and evil.
He wanted him back, but he knew that he no longer could have him...
This is who I really am inside.