Thank you for stopping by! I haven't written anything in a long, long time so please forgive me. I was inspired by another author to try again to complete a fanfic. the first couple chapters will most likely be background information on my character but please bare with me. the good stuff will be coming! Thank you again!

Fresh off the Reincarnation Train

Today I couldn't help but cover my face in shame. And to secretly hide my sadness. I decided to stroll down memory lane and look up the fan-fiction I wrote, as well as see how many of my fave stories had stopped production. 2012 seemed to be the cutoff. Sigh. At least these authors were able to get more than a couple chapters done. I'm sure they had lives to move on with, no time for dillydallying with stories. As for me my problem was I kept changing stories in my head and lost interest. As soon as I had written down a couple chapters of mine I had already started a new storyline in my head. Always the same world, always revolving around the same character. Scar from Fullmetal Alchemist. Back then it was the Manga version of the story, but since then Brotherhood came out and now I got to enjoy watching my favorite version.

Now that I'm older, 24, I don't read as much due to having to act like an adult and have a job. Bills to pay, mouths to feed and litter to clean out. I don't daydream as much either, on my downtime sure, but I used to dedicate hours just to sit and think. Now when I get home from work I either watch anime or Netflix and scroll through my various apps on my phone.

I was still laying in my hammock as I scrolled through the stories. I knew I needed to get up for work soon but my cats had woken me up early so I enjoyed some extra awake time. I checked the time, 6:02. I rolled out of the hammock and stood up. All my joints were cracking and there was a weird ache in my back.

"You're supposed to be better for sleeping in Mr." I grumbled to my hammock. I lived in a small apartment so it was nice to not have a giant bed taking up the little space I had. I went and got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth and made sure my cats had enough food in their bowls. I put my shoes on and crouched down. "OK babies, mommas going to work, I'll see you later pretty girls!" I said in a baby voice. My first cat, Skittles, sat next to my bedroom door glaring at me. My other cat, Angel, was rubbing against me already meowing. I rubbed her head and tried to kiss her, but as soon as I got close she bolted away. "OK weirdos." I stood up and grabbed my keys from the couch next to the door. I checked my phone again, to see if I had time to stop and grab a coffee. 6:33. if I could catch the traffic at just the right time I might be able.

I grabbed the door handle and gasped. My body froze. My heart started racing and my breaths came out quick and shallow. I knew exactly what it was, but.. it had never occurred out of the blue like this. There was always some negative thought that would trigger the anxiety. My grip on the door handle tightened but my body wouldn't let me release it. A wave of nausea overcame me and the next thing I knew my hearing started fading. My cats meowing slowly was lost in a sea of white noise. My vision started to go dim.

"shit." I was about the pass out. Somehow I was able to pry my hand away from the doorknob and lean myself against the door. "Don't pass out, Don't pass out." I whispered to myself repeatedly.

I don't know how long I stood there, but eventually my nausea subsided and my vision returned to its brightness. My hearing faded back in and I was bombarded with worried meowing. I looked over to my couch and was greeted with both my cats trying to paw at me. "guys I'm fine, thank you babies." I slowly pat them and gave them both kisses, which they both accepted. I shook myself and loosened my pent up muscles. I had never felt anything like that before, and hopefully would never again. I made sure to remind myself to tell my mom about that after work.

"Hey, are you OK?" my coworker asked. I looked over to her and smiled.

"I'm just peachy, not a care in the world! Ready for death!" I jokingly said. She gave me her usual look, one that wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Hell i didn't even know what was wrong with me.

"That's not funny, I don't know why you keep making death jokes all the time!" Sheila continued to wipe down the counter as she gave me another look.

"You're right, You're right, I'm sorry. Its just a mood that I'm constantly in." I sheepishly replied. Sheila was the type of gal you could talk to about anything, and you wanted to talk to her. She always listened and she had that mom vibe. Sometimes though, I could go a bit far and make her uncomfortable, much like this situation I was in. "I just had a weird morning, having an anxiety attack and almost passing out."

"JENNIFER! Why are you here girl? That's not just something to ignore!" she had stopped wiping and had her arms crossed giving me a worried mom look. I was sweeping on the other side of the counter and decided the floor looked very interesting.

"Its fine, its not like I did pass out or anything. I'm not missing work for a minor inconvenience. Bills gotta be paid." I stubbornly replied. Sheila just shook her head and headed back into the kitchen. I knew she was right, I shouldn't be taking these things lightly. But I also didn't have the money to waste on doctor visits. I barely made the bills and I was in the cheapest apartments in the area. Id rather just ignore it until it went away.

I absolutely hated the drive home. All the roads I had to take were major ones so getting out right before rush hour was hell. Takes me almost an hour. I was stuck in traffic as normal, waiting for 4 cars to make it through the light before it turned red again. As I was sitting there I remembered I was supposed to call my mom. I checked my various mirrors for any police as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I dialed her and put it on speaker phone, that way I wouldn't have it up to my ear distractedly. After a few rings her familiar voicemail message started playing and I quickly hung up. "she must be still sleeping." I thought to myself. Mom worked midnight's at her new job so she was still getting used to the hours. Before the cars started moving I quickly sent her a message telling her what had occurred that morning. No doubt shed be calling me worried as soon as she got up.

After what seem like millennium I was able to get through the light and turn down my street. I instantly relaxed. I really really hated traffic. All of a sudden a high pitched ringing pulsed through my ears. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel as I tried to control my reaction. Nausea bubbled up inside me and the sky seemed to be getting darker. No, everything was getting darker. "Not again, not here!" my arms and legs locked up and I wasn't able to do anything. There were a brief few seconds where time seemed to stand still.

" I don't want to die"

The car came to an instant stop, but my body continued to move forward. My taut arms cracked and folded as my forehead collided with the steering wheel. My torso strained against the seat belt like play-doh being pushed through a sieve. A popping sound from my neck reverberated through my ears before I lost complete consciousness.

Dark...its so dark...why,why,why,why...please...someone help me!

"I want to see my mommy..." I struggled to locate the new voice. it sounded like a child, but..where did she come from? why was she here, or where was even here? It was pitch black all around me, I don't think I could see my own body. Did I even have a body?

"I just want to go home..." I whispered into the infinite darkness. To my right another voice chimed in.

"I want to see my child again!" A man this time, he sounded old.

"I was going to be rich!" A snotty female voice.

"It was just one drink.." "I shouldn't have left home." "If only I could've held my grandbaby."

Thousands of voices... each crying out their regrets. The air was thick with sorrow. I can't.. I can't listen to this. I struggled to drown them out, but It was unavoidable. I had no body, no ears to cover. Despite the thousands of voices, there was nobody visible near me, just the endless darkness. Eventually all the voices seemed to converge into one, all saying the same thing over and over. "I Don't want to die."

How long was I there? Floating in the black abyss surrounded by those haunting voices. It must have been decades. Or maybe only a few minutes. Who knows? At some point I realized I was dead and I was probably only a mere soul floating infinitely through this ocean of regretful souls. I tried to cry, but I had no tears to shed. I could only listen..listen to all their regrets. Why wasn't I joining them? I knew I had so many regrets, so many things I still wanted to do..to say. Maybe this was my Hell? Because I couldn't voice all the things I wanted to say when I was alive, I had to listen to everyone else while I.. I still couldn't. I deserve this...

A warmth, like a blanket fresh out of the dryer, enveloped me. It..it was so calming... All of a sudden a bright burst of light flashed before me. A giant ball formed out of the light. The air started to thin out and contentment seemed to fall upon the voices. Their regrets faded and a new wave of voices started filling the void. "I'm Ready." Their voices were calmer, quieter. Then, they slowly started to fade...The ball of light seemed to brighten more as the voices disappeared. They..This must be the afterlife, Heaven maybe. But I wasn't ready, was I? I didn't feel like I was ready to move on...were my regrets too much to overcome? All the voices were gone by then. The Light loomed in front of me, still tempting me with it's warmth.

"But I'm not ready to die." With that the Ball flashed and was gone. I was enveloped with darkness again. This time though, I was truly alone. What have I done?! I lost my chance to leave the abyss. I lost my chance to probably watch over my loved ones, to be at peace. A distant speck of light flashed. I instantly reached out for it with all my soul. This light was unlike the one I just saw. This one was flowing, like water, constantly spinning and moving around, but coming towards me. Once it reached me it formed a Ring, which then split so that there was a gape in between with one big ring on the outside and a smaller ring inside. Symbols started to form between the two rings and something about them were familiar. Lines started forming and crossing in the middle, connecting to different parts on the inner ring. Holy Shit. I knew exactly what it was. It was a damn transmutation circle. It grew brighter as I passed through it and light blinded me. The next thing I knew, I was completely surrounded by light, beautiful beautiful light. This must be Heaven.

"Well what do we have here? A lost soul? No..." A voice behind me, not a man nor a women, but a mix of hundreds of different voices. I turned to the person but was met with nothing but a set of smiling teeth. No.. There was a dim layer of shadow that made an outline of the person. They were about my height, or, at least eye level with where my soul floated. Although they seemed rather small compared to the giant black door that loomed behind them. The door had a carving of what looked like an upside down tree, with circles at the end of each branch with writing I couldn't understand.

"Truth..." I gasped. It smirked at me.

"Welcome home."

Again, haven't been back in the writing game in a while so i know its not perfect. any feedback would be great and i look forward to showing you how this will come together.