Disclaimed. AU.
A rewritten version. Originally written back in 2013.
Summary: They say heroes get the heroines. He begs to differ. SasuSaku, NaruSaku.
Importance
by: you are my math
- Even when papers are switched, I'd still wait for you -
. . .
It was a moment of truth, as I felt a small thug on my chest, when I saw her.
It was my first time of meeting her. She was, I think, the most unusual person I have met, and I wouldn't know if it were because of the colour of her hair, or the shade of her eyes. She wasn't even attractive unlike those women I've met back then, but I was, somehow, captivated to her.
And, neither myself nor my behaviour would know why.
She was only average—almost—if it weren't because of her genuine smile to me, as she approached me. She was asking me things, I think, only I, on that day, could help her.
She was enthusiastic, bubbly, and pretty. I thought to myself, first impression wouldn't last, but, surely, this one would. She was smiling at me all throughout our conversation, I could barely catch up on the time.
When I suddenly held out my hand for an introduction, I was caught off guard. I hardly recognised what I did. It was rare of me to start up an introduction, but it didn't bother me to do so.
So, with so much enthusiasm, I smiled to her, as she took my hand with such urgency of excitement I have never felt before.
"Haruno Sakura!"
I figured, she was a freshmen student, taking Bachelor of Science Major in Nursing.
Far different with mine, as I was taking up Civil Engineering.
Completely different, I supposed. But if I were to be honest, I've never felt so accustomed to her than to anyone else. Maybe because, despite our completely different fields, our personalities somehow complement each other, like missing pieces of a puzzle.
It wasn't a conclusion for a limited time, it was just a statement of what I felt at that time.
I think we could be good friends.
Although, the only thing that hinder me from getting to know her is the fact that she wouldn't probably risk it, for she is already taken.
"Hey, Teme!"
I stared blankly ahead at the person approaching us. She is in a relationship with my best friend.
It somehow killed whatever there was in my line of hope, and I couldn't understand why it never felt so wrong to me.
.
.
Within a year, I did learn to know her more, it was probably one of my accomplishment at that time. She was worth knowing. We even became acquaintances, to friends. It wasn't hard, although there'd be times that I'd be in silenced, oblivious to what would I say to her.
But because of Naruto, I came to trust her enough to let her in.
One could even consider that, I learned to open up with someone else other than Naruto. It was as though telling me that I have entitled her a special place in me.
While that may be true, I still didn't forget to set up my limit. A lane where she and I shouldn't meet. A lane that I guess should be left alone, untouched.
But I wasn't sure to myself if I could even manage to hold myself altogether. I started questioning things, I shouldn't have bothered to.
Why am I even like this? I was contented to be just friends with her, she even considered me as a brother. A brother that she could rely on.
But why do I feel as though it wasn't enough? It wasn't fitting as it supposed to.
I accompanied her for one day to her hometown back in Kyoto, when Naruto had a tight schedule for their preliminaries. She was doing all the talks, I hardly gave one, though occasionally, I would respond.
But in all, I walked in silence, listening intently to her voice.
And before I knew it, I never wanted for her to stop talking to me.
Before I knew it, I somehow wanted to just stay here in the road with her.
I never wanted to go back home, for I knew, that if we did, I'd lost her again to the arms of the person I considered a brother.
Before I got away with what I felt, I realised that I already love her.
She was enchanting, and I never stood a chance.
.
.
When I raised a white flag to myself, I assured you, you really are important to me.
She was precious to me. I didn't know what to do anymore. I wanted to pull her into an embrace, but the only thing that refrain me from doing so, was the vision of my friend in my mind. I value this friendship I have with him enough to choose him over my own self.
But I wouldn't hold myself up if something ever happen, even if it may seem selfish.
When the news about her getting into a car accident, I was agitated. My fingers trembled, as Karin held my hands. It didn't calm me down. I couldn't think of anything else than to find her; to save her. Without hesitations, I followed in suit.
It was unthinkable to do such thing, before the start of my final examination, but I'd rather risk it all, than to sit there and died of thinking of what might have already happened.
I'd rather see her with my own eyes, than to wait for eternity to do me the favour.
I couldn't wait for that.
I went out, putting aside Karin's pleads for me to come back.
.
.
He was already there.
He was already there, holding her hand close to his mouth, leaving traces of kisses.
I swallowed the very scene in front of me. I should've known from the start that I'd always be the second person to her. I should've reminded myself that it was still Naruto in the end, no matter how important I seemed like to her.
It was still him.
It will always be him.
But no matter how stupid I might probably look like, that wouldn't still erase the fact that I wasn't even able to get into her aid when she needed someone most. She have seen me as a brother, but I couldn't do anything else to save her.
To top it all, I was late to even started.
I stared down, I wasn't feeling better, but I couldn't care less.
What's important is... she is fine.
.
.
I averted my eyes alongside the buttons, waiting patiently at the beep of the elevator. When the sound came off, I went out to the counter to write my name on the list. A simple nod of acknowledgment was my usual greeting on the nurse, who seemed to expect my every day visit.
It was a one week stay in the hospital. Though she was already healing, she needed rest from her tight schedule. It was a usual visit after class, when school works were finished. I'd bring her bouquet of tulips.
That was her favourite, and I think, it somehow suit her.
I smiled, when she would welcome me with her bubbly smile, and charming sense of humour. She wouldn't stop there, sometimes, I'd go home late listening to the words she wanted to say. She would tell me how much she missed her professors, her night duties, and Naruto.
It shouldn't surprise me, and it shouldn't make me feel as though my presence was any less to her.
But I should've known from the start, that whatever I do, it'd still be him whom she'd say in the end.
I sometimes wondered, if I had been doing this for my own satisfaction, or for her sake? I didn't know the answer.
All I knew was, when I wasn't listening to her, one day when I paid her a visit, she reached for my hand, and held it close to the beating of her chest.
She was staring at me, and if I had been careless, I would've forgotten the value of friendship. It moved me to think that she cared for me just as much as she was for Naruto.
At least, I knew I have a special place on her.
"If there had been something bothering you, don't hesitate to tell me. You've done so much for me, I couldn't thank you enough, but the least I can do is to be your friend." She held me close, and I couldn't understand why I just can't be with her. I was at ease when she gently clung onto my hand.
I didn't plan for this.
"Sakura," a hesitant; "thank you."
She was my saving grace.
.
.
The last one week wouldn't have been enough. It would never be.
My last remaining year of college had been significant to me. It was probably one of the things I treasured. But I didn't want to leave, maybe because there were things I needed to say first.
I wasn't the one who comply to what I wanted to say, even though how much it urged me to say it.
Sakura's words were encouraging, but it left me to think that, at some point, it was also a disapproval to whatever I'd say to her.
It was stupid! I never wanted anything than to leave what I feel for her behind. But I wanted to say. I wanted her to be aware of it. I wanted her to think of me as how I think of her. I wanted to confuse her. I wanted her thoughts to be filled of me.
When she's confused, I'd snatch her, and I wished that she'd choose me in the end.
For once, I wanted to be selfish.
No matter how wrong it may seemed like, I wanted to try. I wanted to risk even if the chances were slim.
I should've refrained myself from the beginning.
But I figured that I'd still never stand a chance from refraining myself.
She was a mistake I wanted to take a risk, but I couldn't.
Because Naruto was my best friend.
.
.
It was the moment before the commencement, I searched for her among the crowd.
She was nowhere to be found.
When I was called out on the stage to make a speech, I realised something. I never wanted this to end.
"...for the four years, I didn't expect it'd be this important, until today. I was taught of things I never knew I'd still be capable of doing so. For the remaining years I've stayed, I didn't want to expect much, but this person gave me more than enough. I never wanted to leave yet. But I'll see you when I'm back."
I changed my mind.
And, I wished she was listening to me right now.
I knew, she wasn't the type to figure out in between the lines, but I wished she got what I meant. I wished she knew that it was her, because after this speech, I'd go to her to say what I needed to say.
She told me before that I could say whatever there is on my mind. I have her consent. She had to know this before it is late, because if not now, then when will?
I couldn't care less on to what would they think of me. I couldn't care less of what would they say. I couldn't care less about Naruto. Because for once, I wanted to think of my own self.
I wasn't betting, but I was hoping that maybe she wanted me too. It was, nevertheless, a leap of faith.
After the speech, I went to find her. She would be happy. No, she should be happy to see me, because it was always her that gets excited to see I did a good job.
Holding gently the bouquet of flowers that I meant to give her, I approached her, when I saw her sitting by the fountain edge.
I shouldn't be feeling anxious, but I was, for some reason. I breathed in to ease myself.
I didn't want to back down. But I stopped halfway through, when I saw her drenched face.
She was crying.
I frowned, as I hid the flowers behind me, and took the empty space beside her.
I watched her, as she shivered in pain. She was so fragile. I felt my chest tightened, I didn't know what to do. I instantly wanted to snatch her into my arms; just to hold her. I wanted her to clung to me.
But I resisted, instead, "What happened?"
She averted her gaze to mine; her eyes were red, and she was ventilating. A scene I couldn't stand on seeing.
I was actually waiting for my body to involuntarily betray me like how it usually does. But it didn't happen, instead, I sat there and listened to her. I didn't hug her. But I did let her say what was bothering her.
They had a fight. It was a moment of misunderstandings. They misunderstood one another. I should be feeling glad, but I wasn't. This should be the chance to steal her away from him, but that didn't happen.
How could I, when she was completely lost to the world.
I went to find Naruto. I wanted to tell him how much of an idiot he is. He let the person, I treasured most, cry. I wanted to scold him. I wanted him to realise the person he was losing. I was so furious, and if I hadn't been on my senses, I would've probably beat him.
Until I saw him, standing on the pavement.
For some reason, all the indignation I had been restraining, started to fade.
I wasn't at ease. But he was still my best friend.
I handed over the bouquet I had forgotten.
"Give it to her. Tulips are her favourite."
.
.
They reconciled.
Sakura loves him so much. And, same goes for Naruto.
I leave no space to interfere with them.
Though, the only mistake I had, was to insist what I feel against her strong feelings for Naruto.
I have longed realised that it wasn't about Naruto, it was about doubting what Sakura felt for him.
I wasn't intelligent enough to figure that out.
But what is important now, is her happiness even though it wasn't me.
.
.
They're engaged now.
Fin.
A/N: I hope you enjoy this as before. Now, kindly please leave a lovely review. Thank you, guys. Love lots, Ami. And, oh by the way, if, and only if I reached 10 reviews, I might consider writing a second chapter about the other characters.