April. It had to be April. Sunlight poured lazily through my window. "Why does the sun always dispute me?" I sighed heavily.
"Maybe because you wake up too late Gibson."
"Ugh. Tell me about it McGinnis." I replied with a yawn.
"I would except that you're still half-asleep, Max." Terry said with a grin.
"Ok, whatever." I sat up and rubbed my head. "So where were we last night?"
"At that club, remember?" He stared out the window taking in the view from my house.
"Oh duh. Hey what did Dana tell me? I totally forgot what she said and it's bugging me that I can't recollect it." I said standing up and stretching. "Besides, her and I are supposed to go shopping later on for who knows what."
"Well," Terry plopped down on the couch, "Last I heard from her was around 10:00 this morning about going out to some gig with Blake."
"Oh that." I pulled some clothes out of my bureau and reached up for some tennis. "Yeah. That was for the party tonight. You going?"
"Depends." He sighed loudly.
"On Mr. Wayne?" I asked teasingly.
"Yeah. Doesn't it always?" He smiled. "You going?"
"Nah. Not my crowd. More of a Blake and Dana crowd." I said as I combed her hair.
"Oh. I wasn't expecting you to go and here I was correct for the millionth time." He threw a pillow at me.
The pillow hit me square in the back and knocked the comb out of my hand. "That's it McGinnis. You crossed the line pal."
"Oooh! I'm scared Max! What ya going to do? Hurt me?" Terry teased and made faces at me.
"Man." I shook my head. "Sometimes I really...never mind."
"Cool it Max." He said handing me the comb. "Here's your comb. Hey, I'll be downstairs so you can change."
I nodded. As soon as the door shut I threw myself against the bed. 'What is wrong with me? I've been getting up so late. 11:20 is not my wake up time. I must be slacking off or something.' Carefully I slipped on the black pants and red tank top. My sneakers fit perfectly with the outfit. 'Boy, I didn't even check that.' Normally I wasn't a girl for fashion anyhow. On my way downstairs, I heard Terry talking to someone. 'Bruce Wayne no doubt.'
"Terry?"
"Here Max." He said from the kitchen.
"Hungry?" I asked with a chuckle.
"You cook?" He responded in surprise.
"Sort of." I said and pulled a box of cereal from the cupboard. "This considered cooking?"
"It'll pass." He nodded.
As we ate, I realized that I hadn't been altogether lately. Even though I knew Terry was capable of taking care himself, I couldn't help but worry. Should I have been worrying? Of course not, he was Batman, the hero of our city. 'I'm just a worry bug.' The thought had been plaguing me since a couple of weeks ago. Even with all his advanced powers and technology, there was always the possible opportunity for downfall. 'Stop being a pessimist Max.'
"Max, you ok? You don't seem yourself lately. Especially today." Terry gave me a questioning look.
"Oh no, don't' worry. I'm fine. Let's go." I said dumping our bowls in the sink.
"Whatever you say Max." He said as he closed the door behind us.
At the shopping center...
"Not one of your many highlights huh Max?"
"Hmm?"
"Max? You here?"
"Yeah Dana." I replied. "What were you saying?"
"Basically that this isn't your scene." Dana smiled. "I can tell."
"I'm sorry Dana, I don't mean to be rude but I just...I just feel worn out." I shifted my gaze to the ground and stuffed my hands into my pockets.
"How so? Been doing a lot of work?" Dana asked kindly.
"Somewhat." I answered. 'You have no idea how hard it is to keep this secret.'
"So, where's Terry? I heard he was at your place this morning." Dana questioned as she stopped to look in the store window. "Max?"
I was standing next to her staring off into blank space. The lights began to hurt my eyes and the glare from the windows was beginning to make me delusional. I quickly turned away only to come face to face with my friend. Dana was wearing a concerned look and seemed worried. I looked at her curiously. 'Did I do something wrong?'
"Max, are you absolutely sure you're ok?" Dana asked. "You seem distant."
"I...I'm fine. Um...do you mind if I go home? I just remembered that I have work today." I said and turned to leave.
"MAX! WAIT!" Dana yelled as I ran off. "WAIT!"
I sped through the glass doors that sealed me from my freedom. I looked back to see Dana following me. 'No...go back.' I looked both ways before darting into a cab. I gave the man the address to my house and left to go home. Thinking back, I wondered why I'd done what I just did. 'There is no time to question it now. What's done is done.'
Dana's...
"So you said she just sped off?" Terry looked at his girlfriend skeptically.
"Stop looking at me that way Terry. And yes, she just ran off. Made up some excuse." Dana shook her head.
"What excuse?" Terry asked.
"She said she had to go home but then said she had to go to work." Dana stared at her hands. "Not very logical huh?"
"Not one bit, at least for Max." He said walking to Dana's door. "See you later Dana. I'm going to go check on Max."
"Bye." Dana said as he left. 'Please be ok Max.'
Max's.....
Knock! Knock! Knock! I tossed and turned in my bed. Bang! (Let me in Max! Max you in there!) I pulled the pillow over my ears and tried to block out the voices that entered my head. 'No! Leave me alone!' They kept saying the same thing. (Max Open up!) Finally I couldn't take it anymore. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I covered my eyes with my hands as the door burst open.
"Max!"
"Te...Terry?" I wiped my eyes.
"Max, you all right?" He asked kneeling next to me. "I heard you scream."
"No...I...was just having a night...nightmare." I said and pulled my covers over myself.
"It's alright now." Terry said and gave me a hug.
"Thanks." I said.
"Max, about earlier, Dana told me what happened." Terry sat down next to me. "Is something going on? If you need help, you know I'm always here."
"Thanks Terry but nothing is wrong." I reassured him.
"Max, that's bullshit." He said hoarsely. "You never act like this. Lately you've been distant, withdrawn, and even stolid. This isn't you."
I bit my lip. 'Terry if I knew what was wrong with me you know I'd tell you but...I wish I knew the answer.' I shifted myself to face the window. "Terry, I wish I knew what was troubling me so. If I did, you know I'd tell you."
"Max..."Terry began.
"No Terry. If the source is what I believe it to be, then I cannot tell you of it." I said as a couple of tears slid down my cheek.
"But Max, you mean a lot to me. I want to help you." He said with a concerned voice.
"I trust you do. Tomorrow. I think I need rest Terry." I faced him after what seemed like an eternity. "Will that be alright with you?"
"Fine by me Max. Goodnight." He said and closed my door.
I settled in and pulled the covers over my eyes. 'Tomorrow is always another day Max. Maybe tomorrow Terry, tomorrow.' With that last thought I drifted into a deep sleep. 'Tomorrow.'
THE NEXT DAY.....
'When the day comes to a calm Maxine, you will find in your heart the truth that will guide your path'
"Mom..." I whispered airily. "Why did you leave?"
I hugged my pillow tightly as the tears streamed down my face. I hadn't thought about my mother since her leave. My mother happened to be a traveler of sorts and never had time for me. Finally one bright sunny day after school I came home and found the most disappointing note I'd seen. It was basic and to the point. It read:
Maxine,
My dearest child, I'm sure you will be ok without me. After all, you are a grown woman now. In the backroom of the house there is some papers and a bag. In it you will find all that I can give you. Goodbye my angel. Take care.
Devastated? I was beyond devastated. I vaguely remembered crying myself to sleep. I
remembered crying myself to sleep even now. 'Why mom? Why did you do this? I'm still your daughter no matter how old I am.' I gripped the pillow harder as the memories came flooding back. 'No more... please.' (MAX!)
"Max!"
I woke with a start. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Wha...what?"
Voices. That's all it was. That's all it ever was. They lived in my head and tormented my with their uncomforting words. I shook my head and sat up. As though they might be deadly, I investigated my slippers carefully before slipping into them. I stretched and yawned as the morning sunlight began to peep through my curtains.
"Why did you stay?" I asked into the shadows.
"Is that bad? I'm your friend Max, I was worried."
"Terry, you really do worry too much but thanks anyway. I really appreciate it." I hugged myself with my arms. "I'm just unsure of some things right now."
"Like what Max? You know you can tell me." Terry's soothing voice drifted to my ears.
"My mom...she...uh..." My eyes took on a far away look. "She's gone."
"But your mom travels Max. Of course she's gone, just like your dad." Terry said.
"No Terry, she's gone." I replied silently. Fresh crystalline droplets began to from at the corners of my eyes. "She's not coming back from this business trip. Neither is my father."
"Max..." Terry looked at the ground. "I...I'm sorry."
"So am I." I said with a small sniffle. "So am I."
I turned to him and looked into his blue eyes. He was so kind and caring that it made me happy he was my best friend. He slowly opened his arms. I smiled weakly and greeted them generously. "It's ok Max. I know how you feel." His voice said in my ear.
"I know Terry, I know." I said as silent tears dropped to his jacket.
"Look." His words held some enthusiasm as he spoke. "Snow."
Snow. It couldn't snow in April. 'So it isn't April.' I sighed heavily at that thought. 'Why now?' I gazed out the window sadly. "Snow."
"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked.
"Sure." I said and we left.
On the streets...
'Why do I have to plague myself with these thoughts? They left me for a good reason and I know it.' I thought as Terry and I walked down the empty streets. 'But really, that's not the only thing that's bothering me and I know this as well. It something but I can't place my finger on it.' Gracefully I pushed a strand of stray hair from my face. 'I should've gelled it today.' Next to me Terry was walking with his hands in pockets and looking quite tired.
"Did you stay up all night or something?" I teased lightly. "You look sleepy."
"No...I just had to see Dana for a bit before I came back." Terry answered void of feeling.
"Oh." I said flatly. 'Dana huh?'
"You sound bothered by that. Something bad about that?" Terry turned to me with curiosity.
"No. I'm slightly in the dumps, that's all." I repeated.
"Yeah. Aren't we all lately?" He said coolly.
"I don't know. How's your life?" I asked attentively.
"Same as every other day." He looked at the buildings that hovered high above us. "Hey, let's get some hot chocolate. Sound alright?"
"Fine by me." I said as we entered the restaurant.
I quickly spotted a table in the corner and snagged it. Terry headed to the counter to order our hot chocolates. Meanwhile I began to drift of into space again. My mind wandered to the disease that had embedded itself in my cranium. I finally buried my head in my hands to block out the voices that rose from the silence. I didn't want anymore of the voices bullshit.
"Glad to see you decided to be Ms. Sunshine." Terry handed me a cup of steaming chocolate.
"Glad to see you not the dark knight for once." I retorted.
"Ouch." He said in a playful manner.
The rest of the time was spent in silence while drinking our chocolate. Mainly for the reason that I was partially in space the whole time as was Terry occasionally. BEEP BEEP BEEP! I snapped out of my reverie and glanced at Terry. I didn't even have to give it a second thought. It was his beeper and it was Dana. He placed money on the table and stood up.
"Max I gotta-" He started.
I waved him off. "Yeah I know; it's Dana. Get going McGinnis."
Terry thanked me and was gone. 'What a rebel he is. Still, Terry is important to me. He's like the boyfriend I never had and never will have.' I suddenly was surprised. 'What am I thinking? He's my friend and Dana is his girlfriend.' I barely registered the steam that began to rise into my nose. A fresh batch of snow began to fall as I quietly contemplated my problems from inside the shelter of glass and wood. 'This is the only old soda shop left.' I thought sadly.
Without so much as a second thought I had flown out the door and down the streets. It was Christmas time after all. 'And I thought it was April? Where the hell have I been?' I grinned to myself, knowing the details to that answer. 'In space Maxy, in space.' I continued down Broadway, smiling breezily as the winter snowfall lay at my feet.
At Dana's....
"Yeah so anyway, how is Max?" Dana asked.
"I think she's gonna be ok. Terry said to his girlfriend. "At least I hope so."
"Yeah so like Terry, what do you think of this shirt?" Dana showed him a hot pink shirt with a girl face on it. "Well?"
'Max.' Terry looked it over carefully. "Yeah Dana, that's a pretty nice one."
Lately Terry found himself thinking more of Max than he did Dana. For him this was odd since Dana was his girlfriend and Max was his friend; His best friend. She'd seemed so down in the dumps lately, especially at the soda shop. She'd barely taken a sip of her favorite chocolate. 'Max, what can be bothering you so?' Every time he left that girl she'd seem troubled. Only now he didn't know why. This time she wouldn't tell him. 'I guess the secret is much too personal to share with anyone but family.' That was another thing. Her family, as he learned that morning, had left her. They'd straight out abandoned their only daughter. Max wasn't like him. 'She doesn't have a brother.'
"Yo, Terry!"
"Sorry Dana. I was just piecing some things together right now." He said.
"Ok. Um...let's see...do you wanna go out with me tonight?" Dana asked while applying hairspray to her long black hair. "It's to the dance club. Ya know, the one with Blade."
"I think I'll pass." Terry said.
"Mr. Wayne?" Dana asked disappointedly.
"Um...yeah." Terry lied. In truth he was going to head over and check on Max.
"Ok Terry McGinnis. I'll see you later." She said and gave him a quick kiss before shooing him out of her room.
"Bye." He was off to Max's.
AT MAX'S....
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be...happy again!" I sang softly as I made my bed.
The lyrics and tunes of Dido's "Honestly Ok" floated around the room. I hummed along a bit more. 'I do want to feel safe in my own skin, but I can't trust it anymore.' I thought bitterly. I failed to notice the person who had opened the door. I began to sing again.
"I just want to feel deep in my own world, but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore." I sang an octave louder than before. "On a different day..."
Terry stared mesmerized by Max's voice and the words of the song. 'Is this how she feels?' He asked himself mentally. He watched a bit longer as she began to sing a different song. It sounded different.
"Touch my skin and tell me what you're thinking. Take my hand and show me where we're goin. Lie down next to me, look into my eyes, and tell me, oh tell me what you're seein." I spun around with a scarf draped across my chocolate colored skin. "So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feelin...what you feel, is what I feel for you. Take my hand, and if I'm lying to you, I'll always be alone if I'm lying to you."
"Max?" Terry dared to speak.
I quickly dropped my scarf and faced the radio. I felt the blush begin to creep into my cheeks. 'Terry, oh no.' I quickly shut the radio off and prepared for total humiliation. "Hey Terry!"
"Max, those were some interesting songs. Who's the artist?" He asked as he looked at the song lyrics.
"Dido." I said simply. "So what are you doing here?"
"Great to see you looking better." Terry said. "Feelin better?"
"So-so." I winked. "Excuse my um...flightiness."
"Why?" He asked. "There was nothing wrong with it."
"Oh...I see." I said embarrassedly. "So, how is Dana? Was it an urgent call?"
"Nah. She went to that party with Blake already. SO what do you wanna do?" He questioned. "Bowling, golfing, skating, video games?"
"Well it's snowing so I don't know who would go outside." I said sarcastically.
"True, but there is someplace where we can go do all that stuff indoors." He said pulling me with him.
Normally he would never let anyone see where he hung out after helping Mr. Wayne, but under the circumstances he didn't think it'd matter. After all, I already knew his identity, what harm could it do? As we headed towards the rendezvous, Terry couldn't help but look at me every now and then. I seemed edgy and nervous about something. My fingers would twitch every once in a while. He also noticed that as we talked, I'd refuse to meet his eyes. Normally I would, but I was acting funny. 'What is bothering you?' Terry asked himself while giving a quick glance to me. I'd been staring out the window the whole drive. 'Still got a long way to go. Hope she doesn't mind if we fly.' Terry suddenly pushed a button on car console and it began to change into a flying car. I emitted an eep as we lifted off the ground.
"We're flying?" I asked timidly.
"Yeah. We can't get there any other way." He said and gave me a smile.
'Don't look at me that way Terry, please, not now.' I thought as I forced a smile. Afterwards I continued to stare out the window. 'You've figured it out Maxy, you know why you're down. Not just because you're family, but because Terry. You know Terry will always be here. He's your friend.' A lopsided grin crossed my face as I thought about that last sentence. 'At least I'll have you Terry.' I had never been a needy person of anyone, but now that my family was gone I just didn't want to be alone. Maybe the reason was because my family left when I never thought they would.
"Max, um...I have something to tell you when we arrive at the place ok?" Terry said.
"Ok." I said. 'What now?'
It had been 4 years since high school and we all were already seniors in college. Our graduation was in April. 'No wonder I keep thinking it is April.' When we arrived at our destination I seated myself on the cool grass. It was like a park but it was an island. 'How marvelous. Who does this place belong to?'
"Whom does this place belong to?" I asked in awe.
"Mr. Wayne." He replied. "About what I was gonna tell you, well...I thought you'd like to hear it first."
"Ok McGinnis, spit it." I said.
"After Graduation Dana and I...Dana and I are moving to England." Terry's voice was shaking a bit. "We're getting married."
"You're wha...what?" I asked in shock.
"We're getting married Max." Terry repeated.
"Oh I...I see." My voice began to crack. "Well, the best of...of luck to you both."
"Thank you." He said lowly as he noticed my shoulders beginning to shake. "Max is something wrong?"
"No." I said impassively. "Just admiring the view. Won't you join?"
"I guess." He said. "Hey Max?"
"What?" I asked.
"You know those times when you want to say something to someone but you get so scared you might hurt them that you won't?" he said.
"Yeah?" I questioned again.
"Have you ever been in that kinda situation?" He asked.
"Yeah." I answered. "Only once."
"Oh I see." He replied and stared at the stars.
"Hey Max?"
"What Terry?"
"Do you think Dana will say yes?" He asked in a nervous fashion.
"Of course she would." I looked at him somberly. "Who wouldn't?"
"Well anybody wouldn't. Dana is someone I know though." He said. "Why would you say anybody would?"
"Think about it Terry." I glared at him.
'Why is she glaring at me that way?' He looked at me. "Think about what?"
"Do I have to spell it out?" I let out an exasperated sigh. "God Terry! Isn't it easy for you to see? Any girl would like you! You're smart, caring, kind, nice, loving, got the looks of the most handsome guy and you are an overall great person! There!"
"Really?" Terry thought while tapping his chin.
"Yeah Terry." I placed my head on my hands and sighed. "I honestly think so."
"Thanks Max! You're a pal." Terry grinned.
I mentally had died. I never thought it would matter that Terry and Dana were getting married, or that they had been together for the past five years or so, but now that I thought, it killed me. 'I guess I've figured out my problem. Please...go Terry...please.' I tried to ignore the images that placed themselves in my mind. 'Dana is the one you really love, I guess I never had a chance. I suppose there will be a better future.' I smiled knowingly. 'I never thought it possible to love you Terry but I guess I'm a fool just like the rest.' I had become so deep in my thoughts that I failed to notice the water drops that had slid down my cheeks.
"Oh god..." I whispered when I realized.
"Max?" Terry looked up and came face to face with a tear filled face. "Why are you crying?"
"Please Terry, I'd like to go home now." I said blandly. "I'm feeling tired."
"You're lying Max." He replied. "Something is bothering you."
"True but it will be alright. Don't be a worry wart McGinnis." I laughingly slapped his shoulder.
"No, I know it won't. It's bad this time. You never cry Max." He said.
"Please take me home." I said and headed towards the car. "I want to go home."
"If you insist." He said.
*Present*
"That was the last time I saw Terry. It's been two years." I say to my friend Jade.
"Oh Max, I'm so sorry." She responds with a sad look. "I definitely know how it feels."
"Well, how about we go get ourselves a chocolate shake. I'm sure that Karl will be worried if you stay out too long." I laugh as we head to the soda shop.
"Karl can be a worry-wart." She says.
After we had bought our shakes, Jade heads home. I know it's a good thing that she gets inside soon anyway. It's December 24th and the snow is falling lightly as I head to my apartment. I don't how long it's been since I last went into my apartment. 'Hours Max, Hours.' I laugh silently to myself as I observe the bustle on the streets. It's Christmas time. People are rushing around to get presents for their loved ones. I myself have bought presents for Karl and Jade. They are good friends.
It's 8:00 and I have just entered my apartment building. My hands are full of wrapping paper and sorts for tomorrow. My eyelids are heavy as I set down my things on the table. 'I'll wrap a little later.' I quickly change into my pj's and settle down on the couch for some late night TV. I'm just about to place the channel to Saturday Night Live when I hear noise coming from my bedroom. I sit up and grab my gun. Since when do I have a gun? Well, I was given permission to have one when I joined the police squad as a topnotch hacker. My cases are always solved.
"Who's there?" I whisper.
No answer. I stealthily tip toe to my room and peer through the door. No sign of anyone. I quickly flip on my light and see that my bedroom window is open but no one is there. 'False alarm? Nah, it couldn't be...it seemed as though someone was really here.' I let my arms drop to my side and let the gun relax in my grip. With a sigh of relief I wipe the sweat off my forehead. 'Things are beginning to get weird around here, lately.' Tiredly I place my gun back in its drawer and head to the couch. 'Yes, my show's barely come on.' Carefully I lay my head back on the pillows as the darkness envelopes me.
"Maybe because you wake up too late Gibson."
"Ugh. Tell me about it McGinnis." I replied with a yawn.
"I would except that you're still half-asleep, Max." Terry said with a grin.
"Ok, whatever." I sat up and rubbed my head. "So where were we last night?"
"At that club, remember?" He stared out the window taking in the view from my house.
"Oh duh. Hey what did Dana tell me? I totally forgot what she said and it's bugging me that I can't recollect it." I said standing up and stretching. "Besides, her and I are supposed to go shopping later on for who knows what."
"Well," Terry plopped down on the couch, "Last I heard from her was around 10:00 this morning about going out to some gig with Blake."
"Oh that." I pulled some clothes out of my bureau and reached up for some tennis. "Yeah. That was for the party tonight. You going?"
"Depends." He sighed loudly.
"On Mr. Wayne?" I asked teasingly.
"Yeah. Doesn't it always?" He smiled. "You going?"
"Nah. Not my crowd. More of a Blake and Dana crowd." I said as I combed her hair.
"Oh. I wasn't expecting you to go and here I was correct for the millionth time." He threw a pillow at me.
The pillow hit me square in the back and knocked the comb out of my hand. "That's it McGinnis. You crossed the line pal."
"Oooh! I'm scared Max! What ya going to do? Hurt me?" Terry teased and made faces at me.
"Man." I shook my head. "Sometimes I really...never mind."
"Cool it Max." He said handing me the comb. "Here's your comb. Hey, I'll be downstairs so you can change."
I nodded. As soon as the door shut I threw myself against the bed. 'What is wrong with me? I've been getting up so late. 11:20 is not my wake up time. I must be slacking off or something.' Carefully I slipped on the black pants and red tank top. My sneakers fit perfectly with the outfit. 'Boy, I didn't even check that.' Normally I wasn't a girl for fashion anyhow. On my way downstairs, I heard Terry talking to someone. 'Bruce Wayne no doubt.'
"Terry?"
"Here Max." He said from the kitchen.
"Hungry?" I asked with a chuckle.
"You cook?" He responded in surprise.
"Sort of." I said and pulled a box of cereal from the cupboard. "This considered cooking?"
"It'll pass." He nodded.
As we ate, I realized that I hadn't been altogether lately. Even though I knew Terry was capable of taking care himself, I couldn't help but worry. Should I have been worrying? Of course not, he was Batman, the hero of our city. 'I'm just a worry bug.' The thought had been plaguing me since a couple of weeks ago. Even with all his advanced powers and technology, there was always the possible opportunity for downfall. 'Stop being a pessimist Max.'
"Max, you ok? You don't seem yourself lately. Especially today." Terry gave me a questioning look.
"Oh no, don't' worry. I'm fine. Let's go." I said dumping our bowls in the sink.
"Whatever you say Max." He said as he closed the door behind us.
At the shopping center...
"Not one of your many highlights huh Max?"
"Hmm?"
"Max? You here?"
"Yeah Dana." I replied. "What were you saying?"
"Basically that this isn't your scene." Dana smiled. "I can tell."
"I'm sorry Dana, I don't mean to be rude but I just...I just feel worn out." I shifted my gaze to the ground and stuffed my hands into my pockets.
"How so? Been doing a lot of work?" Dana asked kindly.
"Somewhat." I answered. 'You have no idea how hard it is to keep this secret.'
"So, where's Terry? I heard he was at your place this morning." Dana questioned as she stopped to look in the store window. "Max?"
I was standing next to her staring off into blank space. The lights began to hurt my eyes and the glare from the windows was beginning to make me delusional. I quickly turned away only to come face to face with my friend. Dana was wearing a concerned look and seemed worried. I looked at her curiously. 'Did I do something wrong?'
"Max, are you absolutely sure you're ok?" Dana asked. "You seem distant."
"I...I'm fine. Um...do you mind if I go home? I just remembered that I have work today." I said and turned to leave.
"MAX! WAIT!" Dana yelled as I ran off. "WAIT!"
I sped through the glass doors that sealed me from my freedom. I looked back to see Dana following me. 'No...go back.' I looked both ways before darting into a cab. I gave the man the address to my house and left to go home. Thinking back, I wondered why I'd done what I just did. 'There is no time to question it now. What's done is done.'
Dana's...
"So you said she just sped off?" Terry looked at his girlfriend skeptically.
"Stop looking at me that way Terry. And yes, she just ran off. Made up some excuse." Dana shook her head.
"What excuse?" Terry asked.
"She said she had to go home but then said she had to go to work." Dana stared at her hands. "Not very logical huh?"
"Not one bit, at least for Max." He said walking to Dana's door. "See you later Dana. I'm going to go check on Max."
"Bye." Dana said as he left. 'Please be ok Max.'
Max's.....
Knock! Knock! Knock! I tossed and turned in my bed. Bang! (Let me in Max! Max you in there!) I pulled the pillow over my ears and tried to block out the voices that entered my head. 'No! Leave me alone!' They kept saying the same thing. (Max Open up!) Finally I couldn't take it anymore. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I covered my eyes with my hands as the door burst open.
"Max!"
"Te...Terry?" I wiped my eyes.
"Max, you all right?" He asked kneeling next to me. "I heard you scream."
"No...I...was just having a night...nightmare." I said and pulled my covers over myself.
"It's alright now." Terry said and gave me a hug.
"Thanks." I said.
"Max, about earlier, Dana told me what happened." Terry sat down next to me. "Is something going on? If you need help, you know I'm always here."
"Thanks Terry but nothing is wrong." I reassured him.
"Max, that's bullshit." He said hoarsely. "You never act like this. Lately you've been distant, withdrawn, and even stolid. This isn't you."
I bit my lip. 'Terry if I knew what was wrong with me you know I'd tell you but...I wish I knew the answer.' I shifted myself to face the window. "Terry, I wish I knew what was troubling me so. If I did, you know I'd tell you."
"Max..."Terry began.
"No Terry. If the source is what I believe it to be, then I cannot tell you of it." I said as a couple of tears slid down my cheek.
"But Max, you mean a lot to me. I want to help you." He said with a concerned voice.
"I trust you do. Tomorrow. I think I need rest Terry." I faced him after what seemed like an eternity. "Will that be alright with you?"
"Fine by me Max. Goodnight." He said and closed my door.
I settled in and pulled the covers over my eyes. 'Tomorrow is always another day Max. Maybe tomorrow Terry, tomorrow.' With that last thought I drifted into a deep sleep. 'Tomorrow.'
THE NEXT DAY.....
'When the day comes to a calm Maxine, you will find in your heart the truth that will guide your path'
"Mom..." I whispered airily. "Why did you leave?"
I hugged my pillow tightly as the tears streamed down my face. I hadn't thought about my mother since her leave. My mother happened to be a traveler of sorts and never had time for me. Finally one bright sunny day after school I came home and found the most disappointing note I'd seen. It was basic and to the point. It read:
Maxine,
My dearest child, I'm sure you will be ok without me. After all, you are a grown woman now. In the backroom of the house there is some papers and a bag. In it you will find all that I can give you. Goodbye my angel. Take care.
Devastated? I was beyond devastated. I vaguely remembered crying myself to sleep. I
remembered crying myself to sleep even now. 'Why mom? Why did you do this? I'm still your daughter no matter how old I am.' I gripped the pillow harder as the memories came flooding back. 'No more... please.' (MAX!)
"Max!"
I woke with a start. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Wha...what?"
Voices. That's all it was. That's all it ever was. They lived in my head and tormented my with their uncomforting words. I shook my head and sat up. As though they might be deadly, I investigated my slippers carefully before slipping into them. I stretched and yawned as the morning sunlight began to peep through my curtains.
"Why did you stay?" I asked into the shadows.
"Is that bad? I'm your friend Max, I was worried."
"Terry, you really do worry too much but thanks anyway. I really appreciate it." I hugged myself with my arms. "I'm just unsure of some things right now."
"Like what Max? You know you can tell me." Terry's soothing voice drifted to my ears.
"My mom...she...uh..." My eyes took on a far away look. "She's gone."
"But your mom travels Max. Of course she's gone, just like your dad." Terry said.
"No Terry, she's gone." I replied silently. Fresh crystalline droplets began to from at the corners of my eyes. "She's not coming back from this business trip. Neither is my father."
"Max..." Terry looked at the ground. "I...I'm sorry."
"So am I." I said with a small sniffle. "So am I."
I turned to him and looked into his blue eyes. He was so kind and caring that it made me happy he was my best friend. He slowly opened his arms. I smiled weakly and greeted them generously. "It's ok Max. I know how you feel." His voice said in my ear.
"I know Terry, I know." I said as silent tears dropped to his jacket.
"Look." His words held some enthusiasm as he spoke. "Snow."
Snow. It couldn't snow in April. 'So it isn't April.' I sighed heavily at that thought. 'Why now?' I gazed out the window sadly. "Snow."
"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked.
"Sure." I said and we left.
On the streets...
'Why do I have to plague myself with these thoughts? They left me for a good reason and I know it.' I thought as Terry and I walked down the empty streets. 'But really, that's not the only thing that's bothering me and I know this as well. It something but I can't place my finger on it.' Gracefully I pushed a strand of stray hair from my face. 'I should've gelled it today.' Next to me Terry was walking with his hands in pockets and looking quite tired.
"Did you stay up all night or something?" I teased lightly. "You look sleepy."
"No...I just had to see Dana for a bit before I came back." Terry answered void of feeling.
"Oh." I said flatly. 'Dana huh?'
"You sound bothered by that. Something bad about that?" Terry turned to me with curiosity.
"No. I'm slightly in the dumps, that's all." I repeated.
"Yeah. Aren't we all lately?" He said coolly.
"I don't know. How's your life?" I asked attentively.
"Same as every other day." He looked at the buildings that hovered high above us. "Hey, let's get some hot chocolate. Sound alright?"
"Fine by me." I said as we entered the restaurant.
I quickly spotted a table in the corner and snagged it. Terry headed to the counter to order our hot chocolates. Meanwhile I began to drift of into space again. My mind wandered to the disease that had embedded itself in my cranium. I finally buried my head in my hands to block out the voices that rose from the silence. I didn't want anymore of the voices bullshit.
"Glad to see you decided to be Ms. Sunshine." Terry handed me a cup of steaming chocolate.
"Glad to see you not the dark knight for once." I retorted.
"Ouch." He said in a playful manner.
The rest of the time was spent in silence while drinking our chocolate. Mainly for the reason that I was partially in space the whole time as was Terry occasionally. BEEP BEEP BEEP! I snapped out of my reverie and glanced at Terry. I didn't even have to give it a second thought. It was his beeper and it was Dana. He placed money on the table and stood up.
"Max I gotta-" He started.
I waved him off. "Yeah I know; it's Dana. Get going McGinnis."
Terry thanked me and was gone. 'What a rebel he is. Still, Terry is important to me. He's like the boyfriend I never had and never will have.' I suddenly was surprised. 'What am I thinking? He's my friend and Dana is his girlfriend.' I barely registered the steam that began to rise into my nose. A fresh batch of snow began to fall as I quietly contemplated my problems from inside the shelter of glass and wood. 'This is the only old soda shop left.' I thought sadly.
Without so much as a second thought I had flown out the door and down the streets. It was Christmas time after all. 'And I thought it was April? Where the hell have I been?' I grinned to myself, knowing the details to that answer. 'In space Maxy, in space.' I continued down Broadway, smiling breezily as the winter snowfall lay at my feet.
At Dana's....
"Yeah so anyway, how is Max?" Dana asked.
"I think she's gonna be ok. Terry said to his girlfriend. "At least I hope so."
"Yeah so like Terry, what do you think of this shirt?" Dana showed him a hot pink shirt with a girl face on it. "Well?"
'Max.' Terry looked it over carefully. "Yeah Dana, that's a pretty nice one."
Lately Terry found himself thinking more of Max than he did Dana. For him this was odd since Dana was his girlfriend and Max was his friend; His best friend. She'd seemed so down in the dumps lately, especially at the soda shop. She'd barely taken a sip of her favorite chocolate. 'Max, what can be bothering you so?' Every time he left that girl she'd seem troubled. Only now he didn't know why. This time she wouldn't tell him. 'I guess the secret is much too personal to share with anyone but family.' That was another thing. Her family, as he learned that morning, had left her. They'd straight out abandoned their only daughter. Max wasn't like him. 'She doesn't have a brother.'
"Yo, Terry!"
"Sorry Dana. I was just piecing some things together right now." He said.
"Ok. Um...let's see...do you wanna go out with me tonight?" Dana asked while applying hairspray to her long black hair. "It's to the dance club. Ya know, the one with Blade."
"I think I'll pass." Terry said.
"Mr. Wayne?" Dana asked disappointedly.
"Um...yeah." Terry lied. In truth he was going to head over and check on Max.
"Ok Terry McGinnis. I'll see you later." She said and gave him a quick kiss before shooing him out of her room.
"Bye." He was off to Max's.
AT MAX'S....
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be...happy again!" I sang softly as I made my bed.
The lyrics and tunes of Dido's "Honestly Ok" floated around the room. I hummed along a bit more. 'I do want to feel safe in my own skin, but I can't trust it anymore.' I thought bitterly. I failed to notice the person who had opened the door. I began to sing again.
"I just want to feel deep in my own world, but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore." I sang an octave louder than before. "On a different day..."
Terry stared mesmerized by Max's voice and the words of the song. 'Is this how she feels?' He asked himself mentally. He watched a bit longer as she began to sing a different song. It sounded different.
"Touch my skin and tell me what you're thinking. Take my hand and show me where we're goin. Lie down next to me, look into my eyes, and tell me, oh tell me what you're seein." I spun around with a scarf draped across my chocolate colored skin. "So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feelin...what you feel, is what I feel for you. Take my hand, and if I'm lying to you, I'll always be alone if I'm lying to you."
"Max?" Terry dared to speak.
I quickly dropped my scarf and faced the radio. I felt the blush begin to creep into my cheeks. 'Terry, oh no.' I quickly shut the radio off and prepared for total humiliation. "Hey Terry!"
"Max, those were some interesting songs. Who's the artist?" He asked as he looked at the song lyrics.
"Dido." I said simply. "So what are you doing here?"
"Great to see you looking better." Terry said. "Feelin better?"
"So-so." I winked. "Excuse my um...flightiness."
"Why?" He asked. "There was nothing wrong with it."
"Oh...I see." I said embarrassedly. "So, how is Dana? Was it an urgent call?"
"Nah. She went to that party with Blake already. SO what do you wanna do?" He questioned. "Bowling, golfing, skating, video games?"
"Well it's snowing so I don't know who would go outside." I said sarcastically.
"True, but there is someplace where we can go do all that stuff indoors." He said pulling me with him.
Normally he would never let anyone see where he hung out after helping Mr. Wayne, but under the circumstances he didn't think it'd matter. After all, I already knew his identity, what harm could it do? As we headed towards the rendezvous, Terry couldn't help but look at me every now and then. I seemed edgy and nervous about something. My fingers would twitch every once in a while. He also noticed that as we talked, I'd refuse to meet his eyes. Normally I would, but I was acting funny. 'What is bothering you?' Terry asked himself while giving a quick glance to me. I'd been staring out the window the whole drive. 'Still got a long way to go. Hope she doesn't mind if we fly.' Terry suddenly pushed a button on car console and it began to change into a flying car. I emitted an eep as we lifted off the ground.
"We're flying?" I asked timidly.
"Yeah. We can't get there any other way." He said and gave me a smile.
'Don't look at me that way Terry, please, not now.' I thought as I forced a smile. Afterwards I continued to stare out the window. 'You've figured it out Maxy, you know why you're down. Not just because you're family, but because Terry. You know Terry will always be here. He's your friend.' A lopsided grin crossed my face as I thought about that last sentence. 'At least I'll have you Terry.' I had never been a needy person of anyone, but now that my family was gone I just didn't want to be alone. Maybe the reason was because my family left when I never thought they would.
"Max, um...I have something to tell you when we arrive at the place ok?" Terry said.
"Ok." I said. 'What now?'
It had been 4 years since high school and we all were already seniors in college. Our graduation was in April. 'No wonder I keep thinking it is April.' When we arrived at our destination I seated myself on the cool grass. It was like a park but it was an island. 'How marvelous. Who does this place belong to?'
"Whom does this place belong to?" I asked in awe.
"Mr. Wayne." He replied. "About what I was gonna tell you, well...I thought you'd like to hear it first."
"Ok McGinnis, spit it." I said.
"After Graduation Dana and I...Dana and I are moving to England." Terry's voice was shaking a bit. "We're getting married."
"You're wha...what?" I asked in shock.
"We're getting married Max." Terry repeated.
"Oh I...I see." My voice began to crack. "Well, the best of...of luck to you both."
"Thank you." He said lowly as he noticed my shoulders beginning to shake. "Max is something wrong?"
"No." I said impassively. "Just admiring the view. Won't you join?"
"I guess." He said. "Hey Max?"
"What?" I asked.
"You know those times when you want to say something to someone but you get so scared you might hurt them that you won't?" he said.
"Yeah?" I questioned again.
"Have you ever been in that kinda situation?" He asked.
"Yeah." I answered. "Only once."
"Oh I see." He replied and stared at the stars.
"Hey Max?"
"What Terry?"
"Do you think Dana will say yes?" He asked in a nervous fashion.
"Of course she would." I looked at him somberly. "Who wouldn't?"
"Well anybody wouldn't. Dana is someone I know though." He said. "Why would you say anybody would?"
"Think about it Terry." I glared at him.
'Why is she glaring at me that way?' He looked at me. "Think about what?"
"Do I have to spell it out?" I let out an exasperated sigh. "God Terry! Isn't it easy for you to see? Any girl would like you! You're smart, caring, kind, nice, loving, got the looks of the most handsome guy and you are an overall great person! There!"
"Really?" Terry thought while tapping his chin.
"Yeah Terry." I placed my head on my hands and sighed. "I honestly think so."
"Thanks Max! You're a pal." Terry grinned.
I mentally had died. I never thought it would matter that Terry and Dana were getting married, or that they had been together for the past five years or so, but now that I thought, it killed me. 'I guess I've figured out my problem. Please...go Terry...please.' I tried to ignore the images that placed themselves in my mind. 'Dana is the one you really love, I guess I never had a chance. I suppose there will be a better future.' I smiled knowingly. 'I never thought it possible to love you Terry but I guess I'm a fool just like the rest.' I had become so deep in my thoughts that I failed to notice the water drops that had slid down my cheeks.
"Oh god..." I whispered when I realized.
"Max?" Terry looked up and came face to face with a tear filled face. "Why are you crying?"
"Please Terry, I'd like to go home now." I said blandly. "I'm feeling tired."
"You're lying Max." He replied. "Something is bothering you."
"True but it will be alright. Don't be a worry wart McGinnis." I laughingly slapped his shoulder.
"No, I know it won't. It's bad this time. You never cry Max." He said.
"Please take me home." I said and headed towards the car. "I want to go home."
"If you insist." He said.
*Present*
"That was the last time I saw Terry. It's been two years." I say to my friend Jade.
"Oh Max, I'm so sorry." She responds with a sad look. "I definitely know how it feels."
"Well, how about we go get ourselves a chocolate shake. I'm sure that Karl will be worried if you stay out too long." I laugh as we head to the soda shop.
"Karl can be a worry-wart." She says.
After we had bought our shakes, Jade heads home. I know it's a good thing that she gets inside soon anyway. It's December 24th and the snow is falling lightly as I head to my apartment. I don't how long it's been since I last went into my apartment. 'Hours Max, Hours.' I laugh silently to myself as I observe the bustle on the streets. It's Christmas time. People are rushing around to get presents for their loved ones. I myself have bought presents for Karl and Jade. They are good friends.
It's 8:00 and I have just entered my apartment building. My hands are full of wrapping paper and sorts for tomorrow. My eyelids are heavy as I set down my things on the table. 'I'll wrap a little later.' I quickly change into my pj's and settle down on the couch for some late night TV. I'm just about to place the channel to Saturday Night Live when I hear noise coming from my bedroom. I sit up and grab my gun. Since when do I have a gun? Well, I was given permission to have one when I joined the police squad as a topnotch hacker. My cases are always solved.
"Who's there?" I whisper.
No answer. I stealthily tip toe to my room and peer through the door. No sign of anyone. I quickly flip on my light and see that my bedroom window is open but no one is there. 'False alarm? Nah, it couldn't be...it seemed as though someone was really here.' I let my arms drop to my side and let the gun relax in my grip. With a sigh of relief I wipe the sweat off my forehead. 'Things are beginning to get weird around here, lately.' Tiredly I place my gun back in its drawer and head to the couch. 'Yes, my show's barely come on.' Carefully I lay my head back on the pillows as the darkness envelopes me.